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Dune: Part Two (2024)
THE 2 FILMS ARE...
THE 2 FILMS ARE... just OK.
Public sentiment is against me but here goes why.
Pluses: great FX, plot follows the trilogy, all the big cinematic boxes are ticked, fair pacing (more on that later), some characters are well played.
Negatives: waaaay over-acted and I felt like I was watching a 40's B movie, antagonists far too obvious and shallow, Paul was borderline good at best, the battles were poorly choreographed - a lot of slashing and posturing reminiscent of "300" and that's not a compliment - the whole dreaming and mind talking thing wasn't impactful enough, Christopher Walken is one of my favorite actors but this time he was flat - maybe he was poorly directed? - pacing was too slow with lots of walking and walking and climbing and sand dancing - cutting all that out would've saved a least a half hour of screen time and it felt like filler to me.
Yeah it did huge box office but to me that's more of an indicator of the general dumbing down of society at large, and less (a lot less) than it being a great film.
Wild Window: Bejeweled Fishes (2016)
Stunning spectacular fish and sealife
This video may not be for everyone. If you're impatient person in a hurry, don't watch it. But if you're an impatient person and want to lower your blood pressure, watch it. I'm an 'A' type and this video calmed me waaay down.
No dialogue; has some repetition; the background music might annoy some, but simply turning the volume down solves that issue.
A fish expert probably has seen all of the fish before, but there were at least 6-8 species that I hadn't. And they are spectacular! The videography is truly excellent too.
Highly recommended because I'm sure to watch it a second time, which is a rarity for me.
Tenet (2020)
DRECK ONLY POSING AS GOBBLEDYGOOK
Put simply, I don't like movies that make you work too hard to try to understand it. How can disbelief be suspended when the movie doesn't believe in itself? Or rather, when the Director doesn't believe it himself? If he had then he would've created a film that's understandable, not stupidly confusing.
Tenet isn't gobbledygook either. Rather, it's an overwrought and pretentious chunk of dreck disguised none too effectively as gobbledygook.
Another thing I hate is a movie that goes from loud to soft and back again, up and down like a fricking yo-yo. From getting your eardrums blown out to straining to hear just what in the heck is being said. Not that it would matter much with this flick.
In the end you don't care about any of the characters, not even the "protagonist." His acting chops are no better than my daughter's when she was 6 years old in a school play. (She got better, but it's doubtful he ever will.)
Before you think I'm being pretentious or stupid, I'm neither. But I was dumb enough to watch the entire film all the way through, not just once, but twice. 160 minutes X 2 = 320 minutes of dreck. Dummy me thought I'd missed something the first time. Nope.
I need one of those time travel thingies so I can go back to before watching it for the first time. I'm writing myself a letter so that if I ever do find one, I'll be warned off.
The VICE Guide to Bigfoot (2019)
GEN MILLENNIAL ANGST
To me the film was more about Millennial angst than Bigfoot. Two stalled careers, a dreamer's failed marriage, and a rapper that settled for less.
Though it did drag at times, it was mildly amusing throughout and managed to elicit a few chuckles along the way.
The central character was intended to be the reporter but the Bigfoot hunter stole the show; in my opinion.
I feel that the script was just OK and missed opportunities to add more twists in the story's progress. More weirdness would've amped up my interest, too. The twists at the end did help, however.
The tech aspects of the film were good, and while it's evident that the film was produced on a small budget, they didn't suffer as a result.
The film is definitely not a horror film. Far more scary things can be seen in mainstream media in prime time. Parents: Other than the most overused 4 letter expletive being unnecessarily dropped, any teenager could watch this film. I'm not a prude, but for the love of Mike, can't screenwriters come up with something else to use?
Would I watch it again? No. But I don't feel it was a waste of time either.
The Menu (2022)
A PIG WEARING LIPSTICK
All of the technical stuff is very well done. The lead actors' performances were good. So why did I think it's a pig wearing lipstick?
There is absolutely no backstory about Hawthorne. Not the place, but the milieu. Floating in midair with no suspension, we're supposed to believe that more than a dozen staff members, both kitchen and security workers, are so zombified that they're devoid of emotion and incapable of rational thought. Without even a grumble they meekly submit to the chef and choose to allow his fate... no rather, they embrace his fate, and make it their own. Why? Who knows? Evidently not anyone associated with this film's production.
There's more to complain about, such as the interminable scene where the male guests are forced to run for their lives, only to be chased down and brought back to the dining area. Alive. Who's the genius that thought this was horrifyingly suspenseful?
Yes, there is more, but why bother to mention them all?
At the end of this pretentious piece of dreck I felt as flat as the drunk mother sitting face down at her table.
PS - Watch for the scene when the single homicide happens and follow the knife as it magically goes from here to there to nowhere.