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3/10
BUT...I...LOVE...YOU...
27 September 2001
Argh! How can I begin to try to describe this? It's all about this science-type professor named Percy who drives a hilarious car and doesn't care about girls, even though his creepy mother really wants some grandkids. His lab partner is a dirty old man who invents a machine that can build robot girls after twenty minutes of making annoying belching and screeching sounds. The robot girls love this old guy down so hard that he decides to go on with the rest of his life inside his computer. Then, he coaxes Percy into having these wild adventures so that he can soak them up and live vicariously through him. Well, at least that's what I think is happening, the movie isn't very clear. After some time of this, Percy decides that he's tired of living for his pervert robot partner and reprograms him to get away. I really hoped the movie would be over at this point, but it goes on for another five hours or so when Percy leaves the lab and meets up with the girl of his dreams. They go out for a date where he gives her not one, but two stuffed toy rabbits and they leer at another couple making out in the park. How romantic.

Now, I love bad movies, but this was really hard to take. Especially the neverending scenes of the computer wheels turning and the irritating noises coming from them. I would only recommend this to watch with lots of friends and booze. A prime candidate for MST-ification.
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The Sadist (1963)
9/10
Shockingly Great
20 September 2001
This movie came highly recommended to me by several people, but I'll admit I was wary of it since previous encounters with Arch Hall Jr. had left me hurt and confused. I was truly suprised to find myself completely mesmerized by this film. The direction, screenplay and acting are all top-notch (Well, I did find Hall Jr. and Manning to be a tad over-the-top, but this is still a million times better than I had ever seen them before) and there is real tension and suspense throughout.

The story concerns three teachers who are stranded in an isolated service station when their car breaks down on the way to a Dodgers game. They go looking for someone to help them find a part to fix the car and find Charles and Judy, two wanted killers on the run, instead.

This is one that I would recommend even for those who aren't into "B" movies. It's a great film.

PS-Arch should have remembered to "Watch out for snakes!"
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American Chai (2001)
5/10
pleasant enough
10 September 2001
I found this to be an inoffensive, mildly entertaining, fluff comedy. This is the sort of movie I would recommend renting to watch with a friend or your mom or something on a Saturday afternoon. Watch for Josh of "New MMC" fame.
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10/10
All You Need to Know About This Movie...
10 September 2001
Warning: Spoilers
(no real spoilers) ... is that it contains: buried treasure, an evil mayor, idiot lifeguards, "surf buggies", a bumbling police officer, a giant chicken car, a couple of dorks who think they actually own a public beach, a computer that I would say is very advanced for the eighties, several topless girls and a scary hair metal band performing at more than just one beach party. So what are you waiting for!? Rent this right now! I give it a 10!!!!!
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