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Glorious (2022)
Prepare to be amused!
Ok, stick with me here. An grungy public restroom at a remote rest stop with a glory hole, along with a mysterious stranger in a stall and a traveler who stops to piss and becomes trapped. AND LET THE HIJINKS ENSUE! You'll be amazed at how good this movie is. Whoever got JK Simmons to do this deserves a raise. VERY Lovecraftian. If you're afraid it's just some weird sex movie, it's NOT. Well done, well acted, great story. This one deserves to be seen. Bonus: It's only 80 minutes so it's a quick spin in the player. Reads like a long Twilight Zone episode. A really well DONE TZ episode. This one will keep your interest for the entire length of the movie. And you will NOT expect the ending, TRUST ME. Everything you see is not what it seems. I'm hoping for a bluray release because this is the kind of movie I'll force friends to watch on movie night! Creepy, creepy, creepy!
Swashbuckler (1976)
A great, all-around FUN pirate movie for the entire family!
First off, you've got to remember - This is NOT "The Life & Times Of Blackbeard"! It's a fun seventies romp - The Four Musketeers on the high seas! Now that you have that in mind, read on.
How can one NOT like this movie?! It's the ONLY example of a "pirate movie" in my entire DVD collection - but it's the only one anyone needs. Robert Shaw turns in a commanding and amused performance as Red Ned Lynch - the captain of a scurvy band of pirates including James Earl Jones as Nick and Geoffrey Holder (The UNcola guy... you remember!) as Nick's knife wielding friend, Cujo. Throw in Genevieve Bujold as the damsel in distress/female interest, add Peter Boyle as the classic slimy Governor who abuses his subjects and you've got a recipe for an entertaining hour and forty minutes! Pay attention to some of the supporting character actors and you'll see quite a few you recognize from movies and TV of the time period - Avery Schrieber, Alfie Wise and Sid Haig just to name a few. And of course, we can't forget Beau Bridges as a perfectly stiff soldier and Angelica Huston as she known only as "Woman Of Dark Visage".
Plotwise, this movie has it all - a British Governor who likes to spend his days in the bath playing with ships... a twisted little DeSade in training at his beck and call... the obligatory wronged member of the British aristocracy and his family-in-need... and of course, the moronic civil servant, Major Folly, who only wants to capture Red Ned Lynch and please The Governor.
Do yourself a favor and go rent this one for the weekend - or even better, pick up the DVD. It's relatively cheap as an older catalog title and definitely a keeper. Because EVERYbody needs a good pirate flick now and again.
Fantasy Island: Return to Fantasy Island (1978)
An incredibly underrated series with dark overtones - 2nd TV Movie
First, the factual - This is the second of two 90 minute (2 hours with commercials originally) TV movies which served as pilot episodes for the series which ran from 1978 to 1984. Originally broadcast on January 20th, 1978. Available on VHS from Front Row Video, can occasionally be found on DVD for 5 to 8 dollars at your local flea market/online seller - print is okay, turn down the bass because there's some irritating low freq background noise.
Now, the opinion - WOW! WHAT an incredibly underrated series! Twilight Zone for the masses, Night Gallery for the Saturday Night TV set. But as amazing as the series was, the two tv movies which preceded it were even moreso. Mr. Roark treats the island guests much as a sometimes impatient father speaks to his child - short for a moment but then blunting his tone with the next sentence. And while the series took a much lighter tone, in this movie we're left with more of a question as to whether Roark is an angel or a devil. He seems to delight in the twisting of his client's fantasies but still (for most cases, at least) provides a happy, somewhat storybook ending. Those doubts are pointed out best as a guest asks Tattoo - "Just what IS your Mr. Roark?!" to which he replies - "Some people call him.... (as he glances towards Heaven) and some people call him...... (as he glances downward to Hell)". "And what do YOU call him?" "I just call him Meester Roark!".
The three stories here go something like this: Barbeau as the businesswoman with a heart of ice whose assistant (Chakiris) only wants to spend a weekend with her and free the woman he's sure hides inside her. Campanella and Crowley as the infertile couple who only want to see the child they gave up for adoption 12 years earlier. And the most Twilight Zoneish story, Karen Valentine as the woman who lost all her memory on her honeymoon with Horst Bucholz because of a horrible, traumatic event and now wants to relive that night in an attempt to regain her memory.
Definitely a little darker in feel than the regular series and the scoring by Laurence Rosenthal definitely brings much to the overall feel of this particular trio of stories. This one is a keeper if you can find the dvd. No, its not anamorphic, remastered or widescreen but its 94 minutes of pure fun.