Reviews

The problems, to me, are obvious: none of the characters are well established, the dialogue is horribly unrealistic; the editing is weird with shots fading away at strange times and so many long uncut scenes of people walking; and the film shows flashbacks to previous scenes in the movie because it doesn't trust it's audience enough to understand; and there are way too many long scenes in which no plot, character, or themes are developed, like the scene with the wife telling him she's pregnant, the dance scene, or 95% of the flight scene. The only good parts are the acting and the amputaton scene. And I'm not just biased against this movie for being older and thus being more of a slow burn, or being in black and white with worse effects. Those things don't really matter to me, and other films way older than this hold up so much better. This is 2 years before The Best Years of Our Lives, which is a perfect film, and 14 years after All Quiet on the Western front, which is a great one. Just dissapointing.

2/10

Least Bad Part: Sam is sweet. A bit odd that only 2 people have ever been cured of advanced greyscale if it's this easy and it seems like it makes Jorah's whole storyline of having greyscale that he's carried for almost 2 seasons pointless, but since Sam is sweet, and the scene doesn't go against either of their established characters, it's the least bad part of the episode. That's how low our standards are.

Worst Part: Oh, I again really, really want to say the Dany storyline, but I have to say Euron's assault on Yara's fleet. First off, basic issues: Euron is the worst and he's so annoying I hate him, though my hatred for him is only rivaled by the Sandsnakes. At least by making them fight each other one has to die, and indeed the only reprieve in this scene is that two of the Sandsnakes die, though even that worsens Euron even further by contributing to his unbeatable psycho characterization. Obara doesn't deserve Yara, the attack comes out of nowhere and is so forced, and the only thing the show can do with Theon is torture him. I hate this show.

Arya and Hot Pie are pretty cute I guess, though this show is really making everyone run into Hot Pie, Arya is vague before setting off to go home. She encounters her own wolf in a wolfpack and through baby's first metaphor Nymeria abandons her but doesn't bite her or anything I guess. Grey Worm and Missandei have the most basic dialogue I've ever seen. Dany's big meeting with all of her allies makes little sense in terms of planning at all. Littlefinger sucks, I hate how Jon and Sansa still distrust each other and that's all I have to say about that. Also Littlefinger is so stupid telling Jon that he's in love with Sansa, like what? Qyburn is stupid and Cersei has no reason for people to think she can stop Dany but people trust her anyway. Dany has one of the worst scenes of the entire show so far in which she accuses Varys of not being on her side out of nowhere at this point in the story and then the conflict is instantly resolved. This episode sucks, and it's the worst episode of the show yet. I really was proven wrong.

3/10

Best Part: The Hound. The weather here is a bit weird, and there are a couple of other minor inconsistencies, but overall it's quite good.

Worst Part: Ooh, I want to say Dany, but... Beyond the Wall. Bran is just so stupid and weird.

Okay, Arya killing the Freys is pretty okay, but Ed Sheeran's cameo afterwards is pretty awful. Jon's big meeting is a bit weird but okay, but Littlefinger sucks, and why is he still here? I hate littlefinger now and not in a good way. Cersei assumes Dany will land on Dragonstone I guess before Euron shows up to be stupid and annoying with his somehow already built massive Iron Fleet. Sam is fun but Jorah does a really useless jump scare. And then Dany and poor editing arrives on Dragonstone which is somehow completely unguarded. Overall a bad episode, but not much worst than most of the last season, leaving me with a bit of hope that the show can't get that much worse from here. I don't look forward to likely being proven wrong.

7/10

Best Part: Obviously the Beginning in King's Landing. This is the best scene/sequence all season and one of the best of the entire show, and, beyond even the leadup to the red wedding, the most tense this show has ever been. My heart was going at 1000 bpm, I swear. It was so tense, and it was breathtaking in it's conclusion. Tommen's death was so beautiful. It was tense, thrilling, shocking, tragic, beautiful, and it saw an iconic villain return to form. The scoring was the best of the show. The acting is amazing, and Lena Headey gives her Toure de Force performance (a true feet considering that she has so many amazing moments). It's amazing, the second best scene of all of seasons 5 and 6, behind only Cersei's walk of shame (wow, king's landing has fantastic finales). Oh and it"s visually stunning.

Worst Part: Meereen is weird. Tyrion is weird. Dany really trusts Tyrion more than anyone else. It's still weird as it was in Hardhome. She doesn't know you! She leaves Daario in charge I guess before leaving with Varys by her side so that... makes sense. At least it looks really pretty.

Arya murdering Walder Frey after feeding him his children is fun. I'm satisfied. Cersei being queen of the Seven Kingdoms is a bit weird however it kind of makes sense assuming everyone's too scared to stop her for the moment. Jon being named the King in the North is a bit odd but the scene on it's own is decent I guess. Odd choice to put the revelation that R+L=J that has to happen in the finale after being forcibly postponed since episode 3 right here, but the cut to grown up Jon is really good. Oh, and Littlefinger sucks he's no fun he's been ruined like Tyrion and I hate it. Davos and Melisandre's pretty good though. Sam and Gilly at the Citadel is cute and that's that. Dorne is okay, however Varys showing up to say "or fire and blood" is a bit cringy and the Sand Snakes are there and they make everything worse. Overall, a mediocre at most episode brought up by one fantastic scene.

4/10

Best Part: Ramsay Bolton. Iwan Rheon gives it his all, Ramsay is so despicable and his death is so satisfying. And Rickon's death is so sad.

Worst Part: Yes, Sansa didn't tell Jon about the Knights of the Vale and let's try to all forget about it as quickly as possible.

Wow, this episode looks amazing, like amazing. Jon almost being crushed is so claustrophobic. Jon running at Ramsay, while some have accused it of being manipulative or bad, is actually a very emotional and realistic gut reaction. His survival is not as flawless, but as I've always argued, Jon has had plot armor since day 1. The siege of Meereen is so awful and rushed and later Tyrion makes stuff up about season 1. Overall, a very mixed episode.

2/10

Least Bad Part: King's Landing. Yeah, it's beginning to become a bit more clear that Tommen is a little too underdeveloped, and yeah it's a bit boring, but you have to admit that Tommen's coldness in front of his mother is pretty good.

Worst Part. Braavos. Like in The Broken Man, everyone knows it sucks and makes no sense and I don't want to talk about it.

The Blackfish dying offscreen is so awful but the boat scene with Brienne and Jaime is pretty okay. Missandei and Grey Worm and Tyrion are boring before the entire season of attempted diplomacy go to waste and the siege of Meereen begins.

5/10

Best Part: King's Landing has really returned to form this episode, wow. Margaery actually uses like... subtext and cleverness. Cersei's stupidity is actually fun. The tyrells are really sad. Wow.

Worst Part: Everyone knows that Braavos is awful in this one, and I don't want to have to talk about it.

Jon and Sansa searching for people to fight for their cause is actually pretty good this episode. Sansa giving up on her beliefs and writing to Littlefinger is pretty sad. Lyanna Mormont is amazing! The Hound and Ian McShane are also really great. Once you accept that the Hound is somehow alive it's really good. Yara and Theon are pretty good I guess though Yara's a bit weird. The Riverlands stuff is rather contrived but also pretty good. Wow, this is actually an okayish episode.

2/10

Best Part: Wait, Braavos has been the best part of two episodes in a row? Yeah, I never thought it would come true. But the Bloody Hand is still so much fun. While this episode has a bit more bad, with the Waif being still stupid, this storyline is even more impactful for Arya's emotional arc and it's really compelling, and also the play is just barely even better than in the first part.

Worst Part: Beyond the Wall. After Bran and Co. Are saved by a Deus Ex Benjen, he takes the time to explain to them his mind-numbing survival. Truly nonsensical.

Mace Tyrell marching into king's landing is useless but fine okay, everything works out great, Margaery sadly sacrifices her morals before they go up and make an announcement that they've... joined the faith? Sure. Sam and Gilly are cute as always but their whole plot here is so stupid. Writers, Sam is not an idiot! Dany randomly discovers her dragons and then gives the cringiest speech since the Sand Snakes in Sons of the Harpy. Edmure being a prisoner of Lord Frey is just weird and I have nothing else to say about that. Takes the Door's spot as the 3rd worst episode of the show yet.

Side Note: There are ratings between 1/10 and 5/10 though, you know that right? So many of these episodes, if anyone really hates them they give the episode a 1/10, which would mean it's devoid of anything good. Some of these reviews are like, "this is the first time I didn't love an episode of Game of Thrones, and it had some pacing issues" and then give it a 1/10! These people have way fewer problems with the episode than I do and they give it a 1! What?!

3/10

Best Part: Wait, it's Braavos? I never thought I'd say that but yeah. The Bloody Hand play is really great funny and impactful for Arya's story, Richard E. Grant is fantastic, my only complaint is actor man picking warts off his dick. Why did they need to include this?

Worst Part: The Iron Islands no doubt about it, it's awful, I hate it, I hate the Kingsmut and everything else. Euron is so awful, I hate him so much, and not in a love to hate way, I just hate that his charachter exists. The whole thing has bad dialogue too and some really cringy speaches. Then Theon and Yara somehow take all the ships so Euron pledges to make the greatest fleet the world has ever seen which totally 100% makes sense.

Okay, most people would put the cave at the top of their list. But I think that from a logical point of view the sequence is pretty flawed but I can really appreciate it from an emotional point of view. Also the build up with Bran not being told about the Night King's touch is so stupid. Dany likes Jorah for some reason but I can kind of appreciate her banishing Jorah out of love. Sansa doesn't trust Jon for some reason I guess. The scene with Sansa and Littlefinger in Molestown is awful for so many reasons I can't talk about here. The Red Priestess Kinvara sucks. In conclusion, not as bad as the previous episode, but... the third worst episode of the show so far.

2/10

Least Bad Part: The Vale. Petyr's now resorted to being solely involved in Sansa's storyline's but he's pretty fun and manipulative here and not stupid so that's a plus..

Worst Part: This is another really tough one but... Vaes Dothrak. Why did you already forget about that Khaleesi you converted to your side in your plan? Why did your plan rely on the Dorhraki being stupid and how did it work? Fire does not work like that, shut up. Wait why do the Dothraki love the woman who just burned down their sacred temple and shed blood in their holy city? None of it makes any sense.

The Iron Islands look awful and feel bad and Yara's a bit weird but it's fine I guess. Sansa's reunion with Jon is really sweet but everything after that is bad. Really, Sansa, you KNOW that Ramsay sent the pink letter and that he has Rickon. Also after Davos asks Melisandre a hard question the writers get out of having to cause that tension to effect the plot until the finale, as Brienne walks up and just tells Davos that she killed Stannis I guess, so that's great. Meereen sucks, Tyrion is being ruined by the writing, the whole situation with the Sons of the Harpy and the Masters in slavers bay is stupid and I'm tired of even thinking about it. Oh my god King's Landing is so boring, why does the High Sparrow need to go on about shoes. I HATE Osha's death, good actors though. In conclusion, this is the second worst episode of the show so far. Hooray!

4/10

Best Part: The Wall! Jon executing the traitors is great stuff, poor Olly. Alisser Thorne's last words are great.

Worst Part: Again, I really want to say Braavos, but now I just have to say the cave. The whole trip to the tower of Joy is just... ugh. Why does he need to see this stupid fight if he's heard about it a thousand times. To see that the fight was actually won by someone else who stabbed Arthur Dayne? What significance is that? Oh I guess it's just to setup a future big revelation about what is actually in the tower of joy. Of course, it must be saved for later because the stupid Three-Eyed Raven pulls Bran out of the vision to keep the intrigue pulling us back to the show as it declines. I'm betting the big reveal will suck anyway.

Daario and Jorah are pretty fun and Daario finding out about Jorah's greyscale is a good moment. Vaes Dothrak is still boring and annoying. Sam and Gilly are cute and a bit nonsensical, like you're on the ship and she doesn't know! King's Landing is a bit boring and Tommen gives into the High Sparrow way too easily, but it's tolerable. Braavos still sucks, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. Winterfell is odd. Direwolf = Rickon, Rickon is offered AFTER Ramsay agrees to be friends and it's just odd. Varys blackmailing a sexworker is fine I guess, but Meereen still sucks.

3/10

Best Part: King's Landing I guess? Tommen locks his mother in the red keep which is weird but pretty good and Jaime really hates the High Sparrow, so that's fun.

Worst Part: Oh wow this is a hard one... I want to say Braavos, but... the Wall. Davos trying to convince Melisandre to save Jon when he didn't pay that curtesy to Stannis, as if that would help him get out of the room. The door not being watched enough to prevent Mel from getting into it in the first place. Just walk out, guys! Well, the wildling ex machinas get there. I guess that solves the problem of needing to be able to get out of that room with their lives, and the urgency to revive Jon since he was somehow supposed to help them live. And then comes Jon's elaborate haircut, far different from what was shown in the brotherhood cave in season 3, before coming back to life and destroying the emotional impact of the last season's finale. This season really has a thing for doing that.

This episode really doesn't have much of... anything going for it. Daario and Jorah are still pretty fun, and once again that's all I need to say about that. Dany and Khal Moro is still kind of uninteresting and annoying, but technically okay I guess. Ramsay kills Roose, Walda, and the baby, which is sad and Iwan Rheon is a good actor, but Roose is stupid and Ramsay is too but it's pretty tolerable. Euron is already kind of stupid and Balon just dies like that. Like they bring up the tension between Balon and Yara for one scene and then kill him off just because. Bran is back and after getting me excited for half a second I want him to go away again. The Three-eyed Raven is already stupid, Hodor is Wylis until we say bye bye to him out of nowhere, and Meera thinks this whole thing is stupid. I hate how Tyrion's being done dirty, and now he says "he makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes" clearly admits his flanderization and is a lie, but it's not as damning as "That's what I do. I drink and I know things" and also Grey Worm and Missandei are so boring. After killing her own story, Brienne has a boring but fine conversation with Sansa before Theon decides that he's going to travel to the Iron Islands somehow, which is just stupid. Braavos needs to stop. NOW. I haven't talked about the Waif yet, but she is clearly not No One and everyone knows it. Blind Training is still stupid.

4/10

Best Part: Surprise surprise, Lena Headey is a good actor. Great performance, very very sad.

Worst Part: Dorne. Wow, more great surprises from the Red Woman. Dorne is always bad, this is one of the worse episodes for Dorne but not one of the very worst just because Dorne is always so terrible. Doran is just dead now, with his guards watching. Obara and Nymeria are somehow on the ship with Trystane. Nymeria has her infamous whip which is apparently the most effective weapon against a sword, Obara steals Nymeria's kill of Trystane and they make cringy joke. Never to be seen again (I hope). Yeah, they somehow disappear from the boat after this, but I don't care because at least they're gone. I wish they had just ended it earlier, since I don't see why it matters that Trystane is dead, but I'm still just glad this stuff is over.

Okay, this episode is actually tolerable. It's worse than all but 2 episodes of season 5, but it's still tolerable. Ramsay grieving for Myranda is pretty good. Davos doesn't really need to get into the room with Jon Snow's buddies, but that's fine. Don't know why Ser Alliser confessed to treason, but him trying to break into the Jon Snow-room is pretty good. Melisandre questioning her faith and revealing that she is actually old without the necklace is good, I don't see how it's relevant, since it doesn't seem to be what's keeping her alive or anything, but it's pretty good. The House of Black and White is awful, Blind Training peasant Arya is stupid, but that's nothing new. Brienne has now stumbled apon Sansa too many times and her entire tragic story from the last season's finale is destroyed but at least it's kind of cool. Dany's fleet burns I guess, so that's fine. "Mhysa" of course, does not meen mother in Valyrian, but that's certainly not a major problem. Dany's journies are technically fine, but it's all just kind of lame and boring. Daario and Jorah are fun, and that's just that. Overall, not a good episode, but mediocre. Not worse than much of season 5. I hope it stays at this quality until the beginning of season 8, when I'm sure it will fall off a cliff.

8/10

Best Part: Oh my god, Cersei's walk of shame. It's been too long since a scene in Game of Thrones has made me ask how any scene could be that perfect? How is it possible to achieve true perfection in television like this? Wow. Cersei has been being stupid and evil all season and kind of for all of the show, but just seeing this made me forget all of that and brought me to tears. Wow. This is definitely the best one scene in all of season 5, and maybe the best in all of seasons 4 and 5. Yes, there's a chance that nothing in my favorite episode of the show, The Watchers on the Wall, is as good as this.

Runner Up Best Part #1: What? An Episode in Season 5 has a runner up Best Part? Yeah, and I'm so happy it does. Honestly, I was unsure if I should even list this as a runner up Best Spot, since it wasn't really in consideration when compared to Cersei's walk of shame, but it is still amazing, and an episode of season 5 with 2 amazing parts warrants a mention. But yes, Jon Snow dies. He's told Benjen Stark is alive, the sign says traitor, he turns around and is stabbed a bunch, Olly stabs him and oh my god, this show had led me to believe that this guy had plot armor but I guess I was wrong!

Runner Up Best Part #2: Oh wow, Shireen's death gets even sadder with how it causes the men to desert and oh wow is Selyse's hanging corpse a heartbreaking sight. He doesn't say anything or take any action, but you can feel him turning against Melisandre. Yes, the snow melted, but wat was that really worth?

Worst Part: So, the House of Black and White... Oh wow this is awful. Like wow. A debt is owed because she takes a life that is not meant to be taken, instead of because a life was saved, and Jaqen makes no sense, wait WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONLY DEATH CAN PAY FOR LIFE, ARYA KILLED SOMEONE! So Jaqen's dead. Wow, that was a stupid way to kill off a character from season 2 we liked, and oh my god, he's right behind you. So, the faceless men can make copies of faces, and wait, then how does anything make any sen... oh my god Arya's blind! WHAT?? This somehow tops the awfulness of Braavos in Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. So, great.

Runner Up Worst Part #1: It was really hard not to put this as the worst part because it's just so bad. But Dorne... Is Dorne. "Bad Pussy." Yep, "Bad Pussy." Really, Game of Thrones, that's the best you can come up with? Poison always works at the most convenient of times in Dorne. Aaaand... Myrcella's dead. Yep, Ellaria and the Sand Snakes are sipping their wine at the docks, feeling happy about the completion of their transformation into cartoon supervillains. Yet, the conflict at the water gardens is sill worse than all of this.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: Sansa and Theon, excuse me, but you do realize you're like a bajillion feet up right? Yep, jumping sounds like a great idea?

Runner Up Worst Part #3: Is Stannis dead? I guess we'll never know. This is not a real cliffhanger this is just... not goodness.

8/10

Best Part: Oh wow. Just wow. Stannis just had his own daughter burned to death. This is probably the most uppsetting scene in the show so far, but oh my god is it Game of Thrones. It's truly heartbreaking. Stannis' emotionless face as Shireen begs for mercy. Melisandre talking to Shireen as if she was a baby and her slow revelation of what is about to happen to her and that no one will save her. Oh my god, Selyse running and screaming and trying to save her daughter. She never seemed to care before and was even cruel to her but she can't just watch her daughter burn. And the best part is the setup. Not "twenty good men" of course, but the fact that Stannis's character has been building up so well to this. Coming to trust Melisandre more and more as she works apparent miracles, doing things he would never have done at the beginning of the series, but you never believed he could do this. And the scenes with Shireen leading up to it are great too. Her last scene with Davos before he leaves for the wall is adorable and sweet and retroactively heartbreaking. Her scene with Stannis in which he tries to tell her what he's about to do vaguely and she doesn't understand and they hug as he asks the gods for forgiveness oh my god. Thank you. For all that the show has declined this season, this is still perfect, and is one of a few beautiful, heartbreaking things in the season.

Worst Part: Daznak's Pit. There are frequent gaps of logic in the duel, the ambush is ridiculous, the Sons of the Harpy are stupid, how?, and Dany on the back of a dragon looks awful. Good job, Game of Thrones, you screwed up the effects. Honestly, on it's own this wouldn't be worse than Dorne, though. However, umm... notice at what point this occurs in the episode and what point Shireen's burning happens. Yeah. This is when I realize... this show cares more about big, stupid action and shock more than emotion, character work, and plotting now. The fact that this come's after Shireen's death, that they chose this to end the episode, is so offensive that it's one of the worst scenes in the show so far, and one of the two worst endings of any episode of the show so far (I don't know if this can beat the awfulness of Sansa's wedding night).

Runner Up Worst Part #1: The Sand Snakes are in this one, so that's great. Ellaria spills the wine at the diplomatic meeting she's somehow invited to, but is let free with the Sand Snakes anyway. Great.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: "20 good men" is worse than the Assault on the Dreadfort. Ouch

Runner Up Worst Part #3: Meryn Trant murder's fine but the Thin Man is stupid. Relatively a good episode for Braavos, but that still is not at all good for this show or even for season 5.

8/10

Best Part: The Massacre at Hardhome, Clearly. It's amazing, everyone knows it. Yeah Jon has a bit of plot armor but it's not too bad and Jon has always had a bit of plot armor. A truly fantastic battle/massacre.

Worst Part: At this point in the season, I'm getting tired of being angry at this show, but Braavos has never made any sense, the Thin Man is weird, it's bad.

Runner Up Worst Part #1: Meereen. I haven't talked about this plotline as much as in season 4 just because there are so many worse storylines now, but it's bad. Danaerys puts up like 10 seconds of resistence before letting Tyrion become her most trusted advisor in every matter. Then Danaerys decides to break the wheel and just, shut up.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: Ramsay's 20 good men instantly gave me flashbacks to the Assault on the Dreadfort in season 4, and that is not a good thing.

5/10

Best Part: Master Aemon's death. It's just amazing.

Worst Part: Tyrion's chains being cut off by just this random guy. It's not horribly egregious it's just... what? Like, what?

Runner Up Worst Part #1: The scene with the Sandsnakes started off with the Sandsnakes still being stupid but at least Bronn was funny. And then the poison hit and... yeah.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: Fine, it may be unfair to pair these together, but I will anyway. Both of Olenna's scenes are... ugh. Her scene with Littlefinger has her being great but Littlefinger continues to make no sense. She also has a scene with the High Sparrow in which she's uncharacteristically awful at reading people and situations and just... how, after having a decent amount of experience with the High Sparrow and the Sparrows, does she think the High Sparrow is fully devoted to Cersei? It makes sense for Cersei to think this, but not Olenna.

Best and Worst Part: This episode just isn't very memorable at all. This would have been bad early in the show, but in Season 5 it's kind of a blessing.

2/10

Best Part: The acting I guess? When you take out the plot and character inconsistency and all the awful stuff around her Olenna is fun. Tyrion and Jorah are pretty decent this episode, but not really the best as much as the least bad. I guess Alfie Allen's acting. The acting is always good. Alfie Allen was pretty good this episode. Sure, it's Alfie Allen's acting.

Worst Part: The conflict in the water gardens. It combines some of the worst parts of the second worst episode, multiplies all their problems hundred-fold, and adds in an extra dose of awfulness just for the fun of it. It's honestly so bad it's funny. The dialogue is awful, the characters are stupid, the plotting is nonsensical, and even the fight choreography is so terrible it's just funny. If you have watched it but don't remember, or even if you haven't yet (I wouldn't care about spoilers for this plotline) look it up for a good laugh. Words can't really describe how awful this scene is.

Runner Up Worst Part #1: Sansa's wedding. Everybody knows how awful this is and there's nothing for me to say that hasn't already be said. Skip it, just skip it. You will be better off.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: Loras' trial is so awful for so many reasons. The least I can say is that Olyvar's knowledge of a birthmark on a lord that he squired for is not solid evidence of an affair.

Runner Up Worst Part #3: Cersei always thought she was smarter than she was, and made some blunders, but now she's just being excessively stupid for plot development's sake to the point that it's out of character. Cersei making a deal with the High Sparrow in the first place was stupid, but now... what is she doing with Olenna? She's providing the Sparrows with what they need, while thinking Olenna's stupid enough to believe that she had nothing to do with Loras' imprisonment. She ends up telling her that she's sure Loras will be fine without making any attempt to reason with the Sparrows (I know this wouldn't work but Cersei is established to think that the Sparrows are on her side). Does she think Olenna will be fine with her son being taken by the Sparrows if she says this? Does she actually think Loras won't be convicted?

Runner Up Worst Part #4: Littlefinger this season makes me want to throw something at my tv. Wow, how did his plan to give Sansa away to the Boltons just get even stupider. The show tried to explain his true motivations here and for a second I was like "oh wow, it wasn't that stupid all along" before realizing it was even more stupid than I'd ever thought. If Stannis wins he's still screwed. Why does he think Sansa likes him and will like him after a while with the Boltons? There's so much else wrong with this plan that I can't get into here.

Runner Up Worst Part #5: Really, 5 Runner Up Worst Parts? Yes, 5 Runner Up Worst Parts. And last is definitely not least among these. The House of Black and White was the worst part of the only two other episodes it's been in by a long shot. And now it's even worse than it was in those other two episodes combined. And yet, there's so much bad in the rest of this episode, it's somehow not the worst part. But it's awful anyway. The first scene of this episode is the most grueling and long-feeling scene of the entire show so far. It shows everything Arya is doing to the body from like three camera perspectives, and in like 7 minutes of boringness serves no purpose except for to introduce the concept of "what happens with the bodies" which is already kind of bad. Then there's the Game of Faces, which is even stupider than last time and is just brutal. Arya lies to make the random child feel better which serves no purpose and why is there suddenly a random child where she's scrubbing and Jaqen is just there watching for no reason. And then he suddenly just shows her all the faces for no reason and says that even though she's not able to become no one she's able to become someone else which is just what? This storyline makes no sense.

7/10

Best Part: Jon as Lord Commander is just the best.

Worst Part: Tyrion basically dying but then somehow surviving.

Runner Up Worst Part #1: Danaerys in this episode just does everything for no reason.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: Yeah, Barristan's dead. I hate it. It's so stupid.

Runner Up Worst Part #3: I get why one might think that I should place this episode lower given how many runner up worst parts there are, but this episode is like, 95% pretty good, which is rare these days. Anyway, Reek and Sansa's interactions are stupid and torturous and Ramsay and his girlfriend is just weird.

4/10

Best Part: Stannis's "you are my daughter" speech to Shireen made me cry it's so beautiful and amazing and it made me realize I hadn't actually felt any emotion watching this show except for anger at the worst parts since season 4. But at least I have this. I would've given this episode a low 3/10 or possibly even a high 2/10 if it wasn't for this one scene.

Worst Part: The introduction to the sand snakes is just so.... absolutely terrible in every way, it's one scene and it drags this episode down so much, it's so awful, I hate it. We are introduced to them with some bad dialogue and awful sound editing. NYMERIA WHIPS AWAY A BARREL WITH A DRAMATIC WHIPPING SOUND TO REVEAL THE HEAD OF A PERSON BURRIED IN THE SAND UNDERNEATH. Ellaria says some tolerable speechy things that are at least pretty in-line with her one-note character, Nymeria and Tyene just say yes in cringy ways and then Obara gives the worst speach in the show so far by a long shot and it's so awful I want to throw something at my screen to make it stop. This one 2-minute scene drove this episode down from a 5/10 to a low 4/10 and almost drove me to make it into a high 3/10. This scene is like the opposite of the "you are my daughter scene" in it that they're both one short scene in the episode that dramatically effects my opinion of the episode overall, one for the better and one for the worse. Together, the two scenes kind of cancel each other out though.

Runner Up Worst Part #1: Jaime "It has to be me" Lannister smuggles his recognizable face into the Dorne, forgets why he lost his hand and decides he can trust a random person not to give away that he's in Dorne to the Dornish authorities AFTER he pays them the money. Bronn and Jaime hide in the worst spot ever and then come out ready to fight?? A horse slows down and goes onto two feet just so that Bronn could kill it. Why are there so many cuts in this fight? It's almost as much as the Hound vs. Brienne and it's just nauseating to watch.

Runner Up Worst Part #2: I'm sorry, It feels like with multiple Runner Up Worst Parts I'm just listing my grievances. And I am. But why is Littelfinger handing Sansa over to the Boltons? It was confusing last episode but I thought they might have some justification, but no, it's just stupid. He now reveals that he has a plan. Stannis will probably win the war and then name Sansa the Wardeness of the North and then she'll be free to... have him executed? Why is Stannis winning this war again? Couldn't she have ruled the north if Stannis wins without sacrificing her to the Boltons? If the Boltons win he's still screwed, or does he have another plan for that? Also why did Sansa go from "No! Littlefinger, how could you trade me away to the Boltons" to "Okay, fine I guess" and back to "No Littlefinger, how could you leave me with the Boltons?"

Runner Up Worst Part #3: Barristan dead or Barristan not dead? That is the question. He can't be dead, that would be too stupid. Wait, I think he is though? This whole fight scene came completely out of nowhere and it's so stupid.

5/10

Best Part: Bye Bye, Janos Slynt

Worst Part: The House of Black and White is still awful. The whole scene with the Game of Faces is boring and brutal and stupid and doesn't make any sense all at the same time. Why is it called the Game of Faces? What is this supposed to teach Arya? Why does the Waif hate Arya so much? Why does Jaqen half go along with it? Later, why can't Arya hide away all of her stuff in the place she hid needle instead of throwing all of it into the river? WHY DID ARYA THROW THE COIN INTO THE RIVER AGAIN??!!! It's SO stupid.

Runner Up Worst Part: So, Tyrion gets out of his car and goes to ONE brothel, and it happens to be the same one Jorah's in? What a funny coincidence. This is a prime example of awful writing to force the plot forward.

Episode 1: 8/10 Best Part: Jon is Lord Commander of the Night's Watch!

Worst Part: The actual House of Black and White... makes no sense. Why did Jaqen change his mind about Arya? Why couldn't he have explained what he meant by there is no Jaqen here in their first meeting? Why in the world did Arya just throw the coin into the river?

Episode 2: 7/10

Best Part: Jon is Lord Commander of the Night's Watch!

Worst Part: The actual House of Black and White... makes no sense. Why did Jaqen change his mind about Arya? Why couldn't he have explained what he meant by there is no Jaqen here in their first meeting? Why in the world did Arya just throw the coin into the river?

Okay, the 9.2/10 is a little excessive. This pilot is not the Mr. Robot pilot, this is not the Breaking Bad pilot. It is better than the Walking Dead pilot, but I think that whole show is overrated. (I'm sure most people have already stopped reading at this point, but don't worry, I'm not a crazy person.) This is, however a good premier.

By far the best portion of this episode is the 2005 portion. The zombies, especially the old lady are terrifying. The action is intense. The directing and score are amazing. Everything is kind of traumatizing.

The rest is good too. The acting is amazing. The dialogue is witty and great. The zombies have evolved to be less creepy-looking, though. Some of it is a little overlong. The plot falls into a few familiar cliches. It's still very good.

Overall a good pilot for a show with a bright future - 8/10.