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Reviews
Franklin (2024)
Hard to say yet, but a promising start.
Hard to say yet, but a promising start. I am still watching episode 1 and so far I am hopeful. The rather lavish camera style and set dressing is extremely good, the music is well spaced, appropriate and lush when necessary. So far so good. The only glaring problem so far is the rather overpowering issue of Michael Douglas and his false teeth. I have no doubt that in the period a miriad of people must have suffered terribly from pain in their teeth. It was after all a time when sugar was new, exciting and sweet and it's highly likely that many if not most had the most frightful toothache pain and trouble with the teeth. Mr Douglas however lives a privileged life in Hollywood and really should not subject his audience to the sloping and slurping and whistling of what must be new dentures. Really? Or is he just too old for the part? Let get serious. Michael Douglas is 80 and in 1776 the great Franklin was 33. Is it absolutely necessary to roll out an extremely haggard and aged octonagerian who has trouble with French and English pronunciation and who is absolutely the furthest possible representation of the great man at age 33. In an era when the world goes insane over appropriation and proper casting, why do Apple serve up an ancient and very much washed out actor to play one of the great scholars of history and at a time when Franklin was at his absolute prime.
Sadly I don't see this particular criticism changing through the series. I suspect my score will obviously and dramatically plummet...unless of course Mr Douglas is fired and they cast this rather beautiful production with a man in his 30s.
Spaceman (2024)
Oh dear. Hope for the best, expect the worst
Oh dear. So Adam Sandler want to make a movie in which he isn't an unfunny moron. Well in this film he is certainly unfunny, so nothing new there. I'm sorry but just putting him in this film plants it firmly in the 80s. To be fair he probably isn't the worst actor of all time...oh ok he is. But could this have been better? Oh gosh yes. Cast it with absolutely anybody else in the lead role, remove the whole reference to Chekia or Eastern Europe. Very hard to believe that they will have a space program ever. I'm sorry, that was a little harsh.
Ok facts only. The film is deathly boring but well made. It's poorly cast but if you take Billy Maddison out of it, the cast is great. Technically it's...I'm sorry there is no escaping that this film is boring, Adam Sandler is better than he has ever been and yet is still terrible and boring.
Don't bother. Watch inception again...this time it won't seem boring.
The Last Days of American Crime (2020)
More Netflix crap
The very best thing about this movie is Anne Brewster's legs. Beyond that it's garbage. The incessant need for Netflix to try to inject garbage ideology into everything they do is just ridiculous. Terrible script, worse writing, bad acting, woefully inadequate directing and editing, utterly ridiculous mis casting. Apart from all that it's terrific. Well, no it's not. Not in any way. Seriously, the best thing in this film is Snne Brewster's legs. Not her appearance, face, body or acting. But her legs are fantastic and worthy of their own Oscar. Sadly her face and acting let them down. Don't bother with this movie at all. It's complete crap.
Wifelike (2022)
Jonathon had not aged well
This movie is disappointing at best, garbage at least. It really doesn't work as a movie at all. It's just an attempt at some vague form of cerebral entertainment. It's poorly written, worse acted and terribly directed. I would strongly suggest that any one with a brain avoid this film at all cost. It's not entertaining or clever. The saddest part of all is the Jonathan Rhys Meyers is aweful in this movie. He had aged terribly in the passing years since the Tudors. He looks worse, acts the same wooden nothingness, and still doesn't project even the vaguest piece of class, charm, sexuality or intellect. It's not the worst movie ever, but it's in the top two.
Napoleon (2023)
Utter rubbish
I am so incredibly disappointed in this movie. It is neither historically or even time line wise accurate. It attempts to cram a 25 year period of extraordinary events and implications into 3 hours. It manages to be both too long and too brief all at the same time. If you have an interest in history this movie will inform you not even a little. If you know about this period in history you will, like me be utterly underwhelmed and completely disappointed. Joachim Phoenix spends the entire movie portraying a cross between an old and tired Napoleon and a costumed Joker. It's sadly beyond poor and sadly awful. I don't understand how Hollywood can spend so much on something so poor and inadequate. How is it possible to tell one of history's most astonishing stories and turn it into a poor telling of an inaccurate, vague and boring film based in false narrative and inaccuracy.
Wanted: The Escape of Carlos Ghosn (2023)
Almost great
The title of my review should probably be the title of this documentary. The story, the filming, production and editing is exciting and spot on. The show, for me, falls apart with the far too often interjections by the moronic twit, Richard Quest. His maniacal, high pitched voice, screaming his trade mark ignorant and utterly ridiculous interruptions, totally destroy this show. There is no doubt the Gosns was a fascinating man who actually did turn around Renault and Nissan before he imploded and ran away from everything. It is an amazing tale and well told in this well paced and well made documentary. Except for the lunatic and ridiculous interruptions of the moronic Richard Quest, this is a great show. It's such a shame when the obvious American network interjection of this no talent idiot nearly destroys a great show.
The Unholy (2021)
Oh dear Sony, what were you thinking
Yep, when Hollywood puts out crap it really doesn't give a toss about story, writing, casting, acting, cinematography, editing, plot development, costumes, makeup or production. And garbage like this just popes out. I don't think there has been a single watchable movie made by Hollywood in the last 5 years. Hang on their was Mission Impossible. But this type of cookie cutter, rubbish has become the norm. Disney, Sony, Paramount all rubbish. Stop employing the weak minded and start working with great writers again. Why did you even make this crap? Is your mistresses third daughter desperate god a movie role or something? There is absolutely nothing at all to recommend this film except don't bother. It isn't even a "good" bad movie.
The Birth of a Nation (2016)
Garbage acting, writing and honesty
Utter revisionism hidden in an historical narrative but with poor writing, poor acting and utter garbage in the message. America needs to stop beating itself up for a 260 year old heritage that was undoubtedly shameful and evil. But no one alive today had anything at all to do with it. To portray what was a foolish and poorly executed rebellion as anyhthing other than wasteful in the extreme of human life, is utter folly and none sense. There is no nation on earth with out a shameful heritage. It's time to get over it, grow up and move on in to the modern world. Life is still tough for an awful lot of people. Get over it and get on with living.
The Contractor (2007)
Shallow writing, terrible acting. Utter rubbish
Wow, Wesley Snipes as a would be cowboy ex soldier. Well it's not just bad casting...it's absolutely rubbish. Wesley Snipes is a dreadful actor on a good day. In this rubbish, he is diabolically awful. The casting and acting would barely qualify this mess as even a C grade movie. Awful script isn't helped by amateurish directing and even poor editing. Much like Wesley Snipes in everything he does; it promises much and delivers nothing. There is much talk in Hollywood about cultural appropriation. In this case a black protagonist simply doesn't work. However if the producers wanted to achieve affirmative action they could have literally used anyone else. Black, white, Latino or Asian; anyone would be better than this utterly appalling piece of writing, casting, acting, directing er al.
Give it a miss. What h absolutely anything else. It will be better than this garbage.
The Nazi Gospels (2012)
Not bad bit poorly cast and executed
I first have to say that this was a compelling story despite its fanciful narrative. The History Chsnnel seems committed to producing these "docu-drama" type shows. At least this time the number of yelling and spitting Americans has been reduced but they continue to cast an actor in his 60s to represent Hynrich Himmler. A man who was both insane and deranged and in his 40s at the end of the war. One of the amazing things about the nazi party is and always has been that it was thought up, built and run by men in their 30s. Is there no actor if that she that can read a script? Why display Nazi leaders as mature people. They simply were not mature men. They were all of them in their teens. 20s and 30s and thisbitself is an amazing indictment of the German people of that time. They betrayed reason, logic and maturity to follow a vicious cult lee by diseased, drug addict, lunatics like Hitler, Himmer, Goering and others.
Please be more accurate and honest in your future productions.
Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022)
Swings from good to garbage
The main cast is great but the village extras, especially the police, look like 3rd class high school extras. It's such a shame. This is a wonderful story of trust and betrayal and yet with this production it looks an awful lot like bad b class cinema. I love the book and the story but I really hate this film. The mains are fantastic and engaging but everything else including the exiting and music is extremely second rate at best.
It's worth a watch and many will disagree with me which is fine. But I was hoping for so much more. It's not not bad just not great and it really could have been. Oh well.
Jolt (2021)
Kate Beckinsale: hot funny and fantastic
Wow, apart from the ridiculous casting of a man as the assistant police woman, this series is awesome. Kate Beckinsale is without a doubt the sexiest woman on the planet after my wife. She is beautiful, stunning body, amazing legs and a really good comic actress, as if that matters.
This is another great little series and we'll worth the price of admission. Kat ranges from beautiful to almost a kind of female mick jagger look, without the lips. She is simply stunning to look at and awesome in this role.
Yes I love the show and Kate. If you can't enjoy this, despite the trans man playing a woman badly, then you must be Smerican, fat and educationally impaired.
Batman & Robin (1997)
Utter garbage
I think the only thing that could possibly be worse than this movie is the realisation that Arnold actually was voted governor of California AFTER this acting apocalypse. What an absolute piece of garbage and the movie as well. Don't ever bother watching it! It's total rubbish. It has the entertainment value of a mass murder.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Surprisingly the other reviews are spot on
If this is best that Woke Disney can produce, then boy are you in trouble. The casting is awful, the writing is awful, the effects are straight out of a fan movie, in fact many of them are better. I'm afraid I agree with the others that hate casting of third sister. A clear and obvious diversity casting and she sucks. Thanks for ruining a favourite Universiy for me. Disney you really suck now. Listen to Netflix and get back to what you really know and get rid of all the Woke Folk while you have the chance.
The Pentaverate (2022)
Garbage
It's a strange to watch the death of comedy on Netflix. The Pentaverate is not just bad, it is below the standard of anything I have ever seen. While the filming and some effects are ok, every scene seems to be a bad combination of poor acting, poor writing and a total lack of thematic context. This show really isn't worth your time. If anything can show just how far Netflix has fallen in to the pit of utter failure, it's this disaster.
Below Deck (2013)
Garbage Boat
I can only assume, having watched almost ½ of one episode, that this boat, it's crew and captain, their customers and every single aspect of this fake business has been completely shut down, if not sued into oblivion. The very worst of American culture on full display. It's not well made, it's not even an attempt at quality and it's not by any measure even an attempt at entertainment. This is why the USA is shrinking in power and is absolutely the clear evidence that the education system in the US is clearly beyond help.
I can only hope that the producers are finished and frankly even bankruptcy would be way too good for them.
The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On (2022)
Not the worst thing I've ever seen
What complete and utter garbage. Bimbos and morons together or maybe not. The average IQ of this cast and hosts must be circling around 80 or 85 if you shoot half the immature and illiterate men on this show. Don't get me started on the girls. Surely they must have cast this in either a reform school, juvenile prison or simply the dregs of the USA. I was wrong...this is absolutely the worst thing I have ever seen.
Inventing Anna (2022)
Yuk don't bother
This is quite possibly the worst cast I have ever seen on tv. Apart from a very few stand out exceptions the casting of this series is just terrible. Bad acting, terrible script, aweful attempts at accent's. It's just a litany of rubbish. Which is sad. This is a truly incredible story about some really evil and revolting young people in Nee York society. It's a real shame this it wasn't made, written, performed and produced to a much higher standard as it really is a fantastic ride through greed and dishonesty. An Everyman tale if you like. But this production couldn't have missed the mark more if it had been set in Yemen in the 1960s. If you're American you won't even understand that reference because it's doubtful that you would even know that Yemen is a country let alone where it is. Just contemporary, woke, garbage wrapped around a great story, that is incapable of breaking free of its cultural hypocrisy. I'd say enjoy it but I seriously doubt that you will. Unless you're a 14 yr old valley girl, with vocal fry who uptalks. Rubbish of the lowest order.
The Silent Sea (2021)
Garbage typical of Netflix
Rubbish. Poorly written, terribly acted, dreadful casting, rubbish direction. Pretty much what I've come to expect of Netflix. Pure crap. Rubbish. Poorly written, terribly acted, dreadful casting, rubbish direction. Pretty much what I've come to expect of Netflix. Pure crap. Rubbish. Poorly written, terribly acted, dreadful casting, rubbish direction. Pretty much what I've come to expect of Netflix. Pure crap.
Now You See Me 2 (2016)
Utter garbage
When exactly did this shoe become just another Hollywood woke piece of garbage? Well I guess it was in the production of this ridiculous piece of rubbish. I think this was made for an audience of 8 yr olds. It's so immature, ridiculous and poor that it simply is not worth my time or anyone else's. Thank you Hollywood. Now we know you are truly finished.
War of the Worlds: Annihilation (2021)
Literally the worst film ever made
While I confess, I really hate the Baldwins, this movie was even appalling despite them or the idiot brother in this pile of utter garbage.
To even list this monstrosity as a movie is frankly thousands of orders of magnitude above this nonsense.
Don not watch this crap for any reason at all. In fact, I am prepared to guarantee that as long as you have at least 1 twitching and thinking brain cell, you will turn this garbage off in less than 4 minutes.
Munich: The Edge of War (2021)
Utter garbage
Interesting piece of fiction. However the casting and acting are utterly appalling. The actor that plays Hitler is clearly in his 70's when in fact during this period he was in his 40's.
The worst casting of any war period movie I have ever seen. Netflix at their very worst.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
What about acting?
This is by far the weakest movie in the series. It's a great cast but the writing and acting are truly average. So I guess it comes down to the director. Sorry but very very average and not convincing. It's really looks like a product of a corrupt and infantile Hollywood making movies for 11 year olds. Very disappointed.
The Last Duel (2021)
I looked forward to this...oh well
Terrible acting, terrible script, incongruous story telling. Extremely disappointing but a waste of time and money. The mispronunciation of so many simple words makes me understand why Americans should never make these movies. Leave them to the Brit's who at least can pronounce basic English.