Reviews

First, something positive to say... It's great (train) spotting all the familiar Caledonian faces in this farcical drama, actors who have provided pleasure over the years in programmes as diverse as Still Game & Two Doors Down to Doctor Who & The Sweeney.

Positives over... Is this meant to be a comedy?!?

It's a French Farce on the Railroad, with lots of running up & down the carriages whilst silly characters spout cliches & take turns to look worried, annoyed or confused.

The premise, at first glance at least, is a mash up of "Speed" meets "Murder on the Orient Express" with more than a dollop of any 007 film that sees Bond getting on a train. That was probably enough ingredients to get the production rolling but, rather like a British Rail sandwich from the 1970s, it leaves you wishing you'd brought your own food on board rather than putting up with this limp, flavourless mess.

Let's hope that the acting talents don't suffer the same (travel) sickness as befell "Minder" or even the great Morecambe & Wise when they got on a train.

A fairly promising start makes way for a ludicrous penultimate episode followed by a finale with more holes in the plot than could be reasonably expected from a drama about detectorists.

At best, it's daytime tv fodder but with lots of swearing added to make it seem like it's a show for grown ups.

Was it supposed to be a comedy?

The actors, at least the most recognisable ones, all should know better but seemingly don't care; take the money & run?

One actor in particular should be ashamed of wasting his talent & performing to type as requested by the producers whims. If he's reading this, he'll know what I'm referring to (three languages & all you did was squeak!).

Even the music, apparently from Alabama 3, alternates between sounding like Last of the Summer Wine & a cheap horror movie with an obtrusive harmonica score one moment & a creepy organ the next.

Truly dreadful & a complete waste of time.

I loved Casino Royale. It was fast-paced, exciting & featured a truly macho James Bond. It could've been subtitled, "Bond Begins". Brilliant. Quantum of Solace is supposed to be a sequel to Casino Royale & the opening few moments leave you in no doubt of this. The fast-paced excitement of "Casino" continues also with some fantastic stunts & the usual mix of fast cars & violence typical of the new-style Bond. So far, so good. So what went wrong? Those previously mentioned stunts were edited in such a way that Bond seems to have become a fusion of Batman, Flash & Spiderman. The editing techniques used were too sharp leaving the audience no chance to suspend their disbelief at what 007 seems capable of. As with "Casino", we get to see Bond bleed a lot but what we don't see is how he's able to move from one side of the world to another & back so quickly he doesn't have time to change his clothes! As for the story... I can only imagine there must be a "Director's Cut" version of this film knocking around somewhere. A version that will surely be about an hour longer to enable some of the unanswered questions & character developments to be explained. It's not the worst James Bond film, & Daniel Craig is fantastic once more, it's just that plot gives way to too many stunts (yes, I know Bond is famous for stunts) & the film doesn't seem to know whether to follow the radicalization of "Casino Royale" or hark back to the Bond of yore. I heard somewhere that "Quantum of Solace" was faithful to the spirit of Ian Fleming's creation. Aside from a recipe for the famous vodka-martinis, I fail to make that connection myself. Can't wait for the DVD so I can slow the action down & try to make sense of it all!

Let's get one thing clear first; the much-publicised hype regarding the subject matter of this movie did not influence me in any way. Yes, a film about such violent, but everyday, death will have it's critics, but they won't bother to see it anyway. One look at the casting credits & you'd imagine you'd be on to a sure-fire winner; alas, the adage "never judge a book..." is so true here. The clumsy camera work, shoddy editing & uninspired locations, combined with a lack-lustre script, make this feel as if it's a college project gone horribly wrong. All stories have a beginning, middle & end. The story here hurried the beginning & rushed it's end in order, no doubt, to explore the meat of the middle. Unfortunately, I felt the middle decidedly lacking in any texture. Mackenzie Crook looked ill at ease throughout, showing no balance of emotion & Sir Anthony Sher was superfluous to the "plot". It fell to Colm Meaney & Imelda Staunton to provide the only characters worthy of my time, but they too, surely, must've been putting faith into the guys at the cutting room to turn their clichéd lines into something worth seeing. I'm afraid, they were let down badly.