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Reviews
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Makes Revenge of the Fallen look like a Best Picture winner...
I just don't get it. Stephen Sommers "bounces back" from the colossal disaster Van Helsing, only to give us something worse. The fact that this piece of s**t took $170 million to make is more talked about than the movie itself, and for good reason. When you spend that much money on a film it usually at least looks like money well spent, despite Sommers (look what the same studio Paramount did with $30 million Cloverfield). Guess what, writing doesn't cost that much money, and clearly there was no real effort in that department. Why, when you can spend some of that money on insane practical stunts and create memorable sequences like some other directors do, would you spend it on creating bases under polar ice caps and the sands of Egypt, which look like cartoon sequences edited into live - action? The CGI was BAD, very bad. The action was (as expected) non stop, stereotype and irritating. The stunts were non – existent, as everything was CG. The women kick more arse than everyone else. The Paris sequence was pretty much everything you see in the trailers and clips, disappointing when you see the whole thing instead of quick cuts. It was always obvious that this film would hide a lack of substance with style, but quite frankly it was not very stylish. Snake Eyes is sadly immensely under used, Channing Tatum is the worst actor I've seen since Hayden Christensen, pathetic musical score, pathetic dialogue and attempts at humor even from the usually – funny Marlon Wayans, completely non – memorable performances from everyone else, Dennis Quaid might as well have not been in the movie, for everyone who's watched the trailers and exclusive clips, that's pretty much all there is in the movie. It is, at best, pathetic (even by Stephen Sommers summer blockbuster standards). Hard to think Stuart Beattie could write a screenplay this bad, you'll see what I'm talking about if you're unfortunate enough to watch the characters' so – called "back stories" and the now requisite "leading onto a sequel" ending. Cheesy, cheap - looking (which I still cannot comprehend), not cool, worse than sister concern Revenge of The Fallen, and I have a horrible feeling Stephen Sommers may have destroyed a potentially mind – blowing franchise even before it kicks off. Since every other franchise seems to be doing it these days, who knows, maybe a "reboot" with another director? Unheard of for a second film, I know, but this is how bad it is and I do not want to see it die before it's born. Saving grace (if there is such a thing for this film):
Ray Park as Snake Eyes (his costume more than anything, since they wasted his presence and potential) Brendan Fraser's second – long cameo, which I personally enjoyed more than the whole movie, the concepts in the movie, which sadly were taken to a Sommers – ish level in terms of execution & Sienna Miller & Rachel Nichols (not their pathetic ten - second fight sequence)
Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (2008)
Making a mountain out of a mole- hill
First up, this resembles a student documentary more than a movie. I mean, seriously, I personally know people who'd make a better movie given the same subject matter. This is basically some nonsense period in history that no one gives a s**t about, apparently not even in Germany from what the filmmakers themselves say. Even if it was, this film ruins it. How it actually got nominated for an Oscar makes me doubt the level of the Academy's parameters. This movie was tasteless, pointless and senseless, and that is a comment usually reserved for Bollywood movies, which is saying a lot. It goes from bad to worse, trying exhaustively to be "hard-hitting" or "gritty" or whatever they choose to call it. Not only does it deal with some insignificant bunch of horny, juvenile, morally self-presumptuous, revolutionary wannabes, but also has barely any AUTHENTICITY,which I thought is the crux of any historical film. Perhaps they knew this,hence the inclusion of a highly uncalled for sex scene to get some attention. Not only that, they offended real people linked to the characters in the film. Now I'm not one to comment on countries and how they should deal with their traumatic history, but if you're making a movie out of it, at least show some basic intellect and don't spice it up like some popcorn movie. To conclude, if you missed this movie, good for you!
Shootout at Lokhandwala (2007)
B.S. that almost manages to be stylish...
The person who did the publicity stills has to be a genius,because the end result of this movie was pathetic beyond belief. Indian directors need to stop trying so hard to be like Hollywood,and Apoorva Lakhia is the prime example. After watching 'Shootout' I left the movie hall wanting to hit myself for wasting money on this wannabe macho,wannabe tough,wannabe cop action/drama. There's hardly anything good about this movie except a couple of half-decent performances from Arbaaz Khan and surprisingly Rohit Roy,some half-decent visuals,and a decent soundtrack for a Hindi movie. The bad guys were made out to be sadistic psycho serial killers whereas in a movie like this you expect to see a deeper,more sympathetic reason as to why they are like that,unless they were portrayed that way intentionally,which i seriously doubt,but of course its not provided. Also,in any cop drama,ESPECIALLY ones which involve shootouts,you expect at least a little tension through the course of certain scenes,but here that was apparently exchanged for the bad guys calling their families in the middle of a shootout with more than a hundred cops. Thankfully there was never meant to be a major climax to this movie because i probably really would have hit myself. It's very obvious that the whole crew of this film has tried way too hard to make it stylish, and somewhere down the line they failed miserably because i felt it really had potential.Yet another tragedy for Apoorva Lakhia and Indian cinema as a whole.
Black Friday (2004)
Arguably the greatest Indian movie ever made...
I remember watching the trailers of Black Friday a couple of years ago and making it a point to watch it.Never before has anyone dared to approach such a controversial issue so blatantly,which is probably why it worked.The events that are depicted in this movie shook not only the city of Bombay but the nation as a whole.To add to the documentary-like look at the blasts of '93,director Anurag Kashyap has done a brilliant job of elucidating moving,intense performances from fine actors like Kay Kay Menon and Aditya Srivastava. Technically, Black Friday is more visionary than most Hindi movies ever made.It did not have exotic locations,an ensemble star cast of the most high profile actors in the industry,or an unlimited budget,all of which are necessities for an Indian movie.The use of complex Steadicam shots,slow motion and hand-held cameras really put the movie into a different perspective.The use of lighting in situations such as the interrogations being bathed in red light also helped set the mood required to really go into the depths of all the stories of the main characters which have been intricately woven together with finesse. Hats off to Mr. Anurag Kashyap for bringing such a fine piece of art to Indian cinema.Seems like the time spent with Mr. Mani Ratnam,the greatest Indian director ever to get behind a camera,is paying off.This is evident in the tinge of patriotism and realism portrayed.Personally i hope guys with vision like this continue bringing quality to Indian cinema.It really needs it.