Reviews

When I saw Drake & Josh for the first time, I laughed hysterically at some moments. When I saw iCarly for the first time, admittedly, I still found it funny. I watched Victorious today and not even a chuckle. But even though there are episodes of iCarly that are just as bad, I have to justify my opinion of Victorious with several crucial elements that set it lower than its predecessor.

The arrow transitions between scenes for Drake & Josh were graphically pleasing and not too long, so they were quite effective. iCarly used the video clip gallery showing the mouse cursor randomly selecting the next scene to play; that also looked good to me, and the length was not too bad since you could still see the previous scene playing. This show has incredibly long (at least 10 seconds in duration) drawn-out virtualizations of Tori updating a blog of sorts from a cell phone, emulating the utterly pointless SMS networking site Twitter. These "transitions" are so long it appears that the opening credits are starting over. I hope for any attempt at redemption that the show creators drop this and stick with something a lot shorter.

The acting is below average and the script seems recycled & forced, as if the cast is trying to spew it out before they forget their lines. Like another reviewer pointed out, I sort of do get the impression that many of the characters in this show besides Tori are hocked up on Red Bull; really, less is more. There was just nothing funny or all that original about what I saw; at least given the dried out concept at hand, the comedy could have been a lot wittier. Spaztastic does not necessarily equal funny!

Then I had to flip out when I saw the lack of quality control with Tori's "performance." Typically "singers" are excellent at lip-synchronization; I have a hard time telling the difference in most situations, but there was a part of the stage performance in which Tori is spinning around and her lips clearly aren't moving while you can still hear her voice going. (OK, there's your spoiler.) I could have seen that wrong, or it could have been done intentionally for some strange reason, but if I catch something like that on the first view, without recording/rewinding it to confirm, that's pretty awful.

I can't say that I was expecting much better from Victorious when I saw the previews; I was fully aware that the concept involved an "average girl" in an unrealistic environment who sings no better than any other pop star out there, and for some reason becomes a cut above the rest. I was expecting more comedy out of this show, and that it would manage to make me laugh on my own once. I only give it a 2 for the appearance of the stage sets.

This episode kind of came as a surprise, as I watched it only because there was nothing else on TV today, and actually found it to be decent. For the record, the music in iCarly on the whole is atrocious, but the pop singer featured in the episode looked a lot like a lampoon of Britney Spears; a slutty, unbelievably stupid blond chick with a baby that became a streetwise trash wad. I expected this episode to place these mainstream pop stars on a pedestal, but it brought them down instead; it seemed to put forth the idea that pop singers are talentless individuals with mindless audiences that enjoy their "music." The mainstream music industry has a lot of garbage that everybody just loves for the sake of visual appeal and popularity, including the stuff in iCarly, so this episode could be considered hypocritical. And I did genuinely laugh a couple of times at Spencer's reaction to finding out that he had a date with Gibby's mom. Overall, it was a good recovery from the iSpace Out abomination; not anywhere close to the standards of Drake & Josh, but good enough to enjoy a few times.

Sometimes I think that I continue to watch iCarly because I've become familiarized with the characters, but now I think I'm just watching out of spite to confirm its decline, as my opinions of the show continue to spiral downward. This episode was no exception to this, as it consisted of nothing more than Carly, Sam & Freddie screaming at each other in a fake space pod half the time, purposefully hitting unwanted controls to further irritate each other, and a random little girl taking up residence in Spencer's apartment in the other half. The effort was just not present in this particular episode, and since it HAD to start right away with the worst part, the iCarly web cast, just like almost every season 3 episode, a predictable structure has been formed to further showcase the already apparent lack of effort. At least they get the worst out of the way, but I'm so close to shutting it off completely.

The reason I give Spongebob Squarepants a 6 out of 10 is this: 5 stars for Stephen Hillenburg's productions that comprised the first three seasons, plus 1 star for all the episodes thereafter. For me it's almost as if I'm watching two different cartoons altogether, so I'll review each one separately.

I've seen the old reruns too many times to count and they don't seem to get old; I was truly bummed out when a few scenes from "Procrastination" and "Just One Bite" were cut because they were so hilarious. Recently I got to see one of my favorites, Karate Choppers, and even after 9 years or so, it still made me crack up. Each character is brilliantly acted, and their antics are priceless, sometimes being funnier than the dialog. Spongebob is goofy and yet shows great aptitude with his work & jellyfishing; Patrick is very slow, carefree and clumsy; Squidward is the cynic that exhibits very odd behavior at times; Sandy is shown to be quite strong and skilled in martial arts; Mr. Krabs is a cheapskate that values Spongebob's contributions to the Krusty Krab; and Plankton is the evil genius. The older style of animation also makes it easier to concentrate on the characters themselves. This show is one of a kind.

Now when I see a post-movie episode playing for the first time, it feels much like a rerun that I've seen about 57 times. During some Spongebob event last summer, I saw "Growth Spout" for the first time, thinking, why on earth am I watching this? I mean, in one part, Squidward's house talks. And the plot is so dry, I could shrink the whole episode down to less than 2 minutes and it would be an improvement. There are several fluke episodes in season 4 that rise up out of this batch, such as "Skill Crane" or "Krusty Towers," which indicate to me that the writers had a few good stories on hand that they shot out there before the show turned to below mediocrity. It surprises me, especially after the abomination "Growth Spout," that this show is still racking Nickelodeon's show schedule. The characters have also taken a turn for the worse. Most of the new episodes feature a very obnoxious, intrusive Spongebob; Patrick is often quite disgusting; Squidward is just snobbish; Sandy has become timid and nerdy; Mr. Krabs is greedy & a lot more selfish. Plankton is the only character that hasn't changed very much, apart from the rare instances that he acts like a friend to Mr. Krabs.

Generally speaking, I couldn't recommend seasons 1-3 of Spongebob enough for anybody wanting a good laugh, and some of season 4 isn't bad; but if you're old enough to appreciate good, clean cartoon humor, and are viewing Spongebob for the first time, starting with an episode after season 4 is not a good way to form your opinion about the show.

iCarly took a sharp downturn with me; I went from liking it OK to not so much at all. Typically I am a dedicated show watcher; when I get into a particular program I like to make sure I see as many episodes as there are. But I'm probably going to hang this one up, as I am continually disappointed by the newer episodes of this show.

Perhaps it was Jerry Trainor's performance that got me into iCarly in the first place. I did like his and Miranda Cosgrove's work in Drake & Josh, so I was mostly right in my reasoning that he would carry his talent right over to this, but was dumbfounded by Miranda's decline. That is to say if Jerry wasn't ever part of the show, I wouldn't have tried watching it. Jennette McCurdy's acting is somewhat better than Miranda's, and Nathan Kress's is about the same. Honestly, I had a positive attitude about it, but as I continued to watch the reruns and newer episodes, the lines became stale (some sexually suggestive) and only Jerry's comic moments really seemed to stick with me. Plenty of others have mentioned that the laugh tracks are played at the most inopportune times; those things are used so much I actually recognize each one by the sound and can tell them apart.

So what about the plots? I tend to compare iCarly to its superior predecessor Drake and Josh, as there wasn't an episode of that show that I just didn't like. As for iCarly, I can still sit through most of the episodes far from laughing, but among a few that drive me to pulling my hair out are iHatch Chicks, iDon't Wanna Fight, iQuit iCarly, and most of the hellish thrown-together Fred Figglehorn feature. I could go on all day about the abnormal amount of things wrong with the chicken episode, and how trivial the matter of contention between Carly and Sam was when they fought (both times). I've fought with my sister about things that mattered more. The Fred episode was just a vehicle for obnoxious video editing, placing absolutely no comic emphasis on any of the main characters other than Spencer.

And what about the "music?" I've heard much better music in cartoons than this pile of garbage, but that must be expected of a show targeting today's teeny-boppers who listen to whatever mainstream crap is thrown their way while they mindlessly text on their cell phones day in and day out. The "best" this show can manage is the plain white t's, followed by the theme song driving a rut into your ears throughout every episode, which I can expect from a network that promotes the jonas brothers and lady gaga. If you're looking for real music, find bands like The Mars Volta, Radiohead, Spoon, Yeasayer and The Shins.

Dan Schneider is far more capable of producing better programs, as evidenced by Drake & Josh and its predecessors. I haven't been able to get my head around this recent fixation that Nick has on their crappy shows and Spongebob, which is also going to the pits. I guess today's society of kids wants the same thing fed to them ad nauseum; this lameness has become increasingly popular as all the shows that made me laugh were cancelled or caved in with new staff. Soon I'm probably going to turn off Nickelodeon for good.