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Evil Dead (2013)
Disgusting. Socially Irresponsible. Pathetic Storytelling
5 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This movie confirms the fact that most of the filmmakers who believe they have something to offer the public in the "horror" genre have no "bloody" idea how to do it. This has been the trend for at least a dozen years, or since the "Torture Porn" phase was unleashed on the public back in the day of "Saw" and "Hostel." How many human limbs can be severed is not a scary narrative. Sorry, it's not. It's merely disgusting and pathetic.

Horror is a very popular genre, no question about it. I'm even a fan of it, but not when it is presented in such a profoundly vaporous way as this movie. Remember when we cared about the lead characters, like in "Alien" or "Exorcist." Hell, "Jaws" made this piece of evil tripe feel like a student film. The scariest part of this movie IS the acting.

Can you imagine the look on the EFX crew when the director asked them to make it "rain blood?" Get those rain machines cranking and spew the bodily fluid over the entire set. "Excuse me? You want to do what?" the SPFX guys probably asked.

This is a gore fest for all the wrong reasons. Perhaps, if the audience would start to walk out or, better yet, not even bother buying a ticket, we could begin to see the studios and the writers coming to market with intelligent, scary stories that can really get under our skin.

I wish Fede got the memo because he did not deliver the goods. Instead, all he managed to do is show us how much blood he can spew on some really unlikable characters, and bad actors.
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There's no place like Home
16 March 2013
This movie makes me groan. I have more fun alone Watching the original at home. With its classic, ageless tone.

Disney must bemoan Casting Franco has shown As a Wizard he's stoned No way he can atone The opportunity he's blown.

Millions spent and money thrown, On a script that is prone, To be the worst ever known Not even a decent clone.

The effects, overblown. The acting makes you moan. The story is boring as stone. And the movie's long and overgrown.

It proves after it's shown That there's no place like home.

So stay there and watch the original.
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That's My Boy (2012)
Who keeps giving Sandler money??
23 June 2012
Hey Columbia Pictures! The money you spend on making Adam Sandler movies? Give that money, instead, to the families around this country that cannot afford food, a decent place to live, medicine for their children, teachers who are grossly underpaid, victims of sexual abuse (like the Sandusky victims), women who cannot afford health care, teenagers who cannot afford college tuition, dogs and cats that need a good home, talented children who cannot afford to go to school for arts, our soldiers who return home with major injuries or mental disorders, building safe housing for families in New Orleans, to young filmmakers around the country who actually have an interesting story to tell and need a career break.

BUT PLEASE, PLEASE do not give anymore money to ADAM SANDLER. He pisses your money away faster than Tim Durham, Madoff, and ENRON COMBINED! Oh, and you may want to consider some new production executives. Because the ones that give this HACK the green light should be shown the door.
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J. Edgar (2011)
What was Clint thinking?
7 December 2011
I find this film to be one of those mysterious projects that must have been tossed about from meeting to meeting. "Hey, if Clint wants to do it, let's green light this thing." And I'm sure that this came up at the table, "Leo wants to do it. It's his next Oscar. Release the funds!" You're telling me that no one, I mean NO ONE in any of those meetings said anything like, "Excuse me. Excuse me, please? Has anyone read the script? Hello? Anybody? Has anybody read this script?" This film is an absolute bore! I was stunned. When I glanced to my right, the entire row in this 3/4 full theater was snoozing. I looked to my left, half of the people were sleeping. The other half were slung way low in there seats, looking at their watches and glancing back up at the screen with that, "Is this thing over yet?" look.

Sorry Clint. Sorry Leo. I'm sure many will praise this film just because you are involved and you portrayed all the idiosyncrasies of this complex, troubled man. Dudes! Artistic license. Give us something that does not mimic the effects of Melatonin!
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Shark Night (2011)
Irresponsible filmmaking at it's most horrific
5 September 2011
This movie is just as irresponsible as the horrible "torture porn" seen in recent years. In this movie, we are still subjected to the most malevolent of human behavior, but they use sharks instead of saws, cages and bondage. And make damn sure we mutilate young adults while they are barely dressed so we can become aroused by the beauty of the human body and then become horrified at the dismemberment. It never ceases to amaze me what incredibly horrific visions today's young filmmakers can dream up. Even more pathetic, someone is paying them to do it. When the audience finally says "no I won't watch this tasteless, senseless waste of talent and money," perhaps they will stop making it.

Not likely, unfortunately.
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Boor...ing!
1 June 2011
I can't believe that they spent all that time, money and talent on a dragging storyline like this epic abomination. Too much drunken chatting by Depp and not enough story line to hold water. The subplot of the mermaid and the holy man was absolutely lost on the cutting room floor...hook, line and stinker.

Everyone, cast, crew, writers, producers, Mickey Mouse and the whole Disney monolith should make a big pass on any more sequels to this worn out franchise.

Still, as always, the only bright spot in the entire 2-plus hours was Ian McShane. He could be snoring and it would be full of character and devious charm. Makes one hell of a pirate in a stormy sea of schlock.

Please, stop the madness and move on to other rides at Disney World.
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Skyline (2010)
Do Not Give These Boys Any More Money for Movies!!
14 March 2011
Please, Universal. Find your mind. Lock up the checkbook. Hide in the closet when they come to your studio. Pretend you're on the phone. Change your office location. Pretend the power went out on the lot. Tell them it's nap time. Leave them a note on their office door. Say your long lost, distant, second uncle died. Tell them your car is in the shop and you could not make it to work. Or, the flight from London detoured through Cabo San Lucas. Or, the 101 Freeway was locked down due to spilled chick peas from a truck accident. Or, you locked yourself out of your Malibu estate. Or, you forgot you already had a lunch appointment at the Broadway Deli...

But please, PLEASE do not give these boys anymore money for movies.
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Amanda (2009)
Personally, I like happy endings
7 July 2010
NEWS UPDATE: "Amanda" is now available on ALL THE ON DEMAND CABLE SYSTEMS in addition to NETFLIX and iTunes. Search "All Movies" and locate her in the mix. Thanks.

Hey anyone who is actually out there busting their butt to get their indie movie's funded, shot and distributed deserves, at the very least, a nice thumbs up and maybe a wink and a nod.

To all the other independent movie-makers out there, this one at least says "it can be done!" Local acting talent is often an issue, although most of the talent in "Amanda" should be applauded for their work. The quality of this indie film is really quite good and the cinematographer here has worked on several very good movies. Believe me, there are thousands of titles on the wall at your local video rental store that are total time wasters.

This one, I'm happy to say, is not one of those.
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Stop giving this man money for movies!
2 July 2010
Let me repeat myself...

STOP GIVING THIS MAN MONEY FOR MOVIES!!! This is the 4th "dog" in a row from this man! A little challenge to Adam Goodman and Brad Grey at Paramount. For the $85 million (reported) you guys spent on this movie, I could have made 85 movies with a better story, better acting and with more substance than this piece of tripe. And made more money for you!! I mean it, M. Night. Call me! I would really like to know what happened to you and the wonderful skills you showed with "Sixth Sense" and "Signs." Better yet. Give the money to the people in Oklahoma who have suffered through a bad tornado season. The money would be put to better use.
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