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amunsbane
Reviews
2012: Ice Age (2011)
May I have my $4 back...and my case of beer?
I gave this movie a 2/10 just to be fair with how much I enjoyed...turning it into a drinking game.
I originally rented this to watch during our B movie night with the kids. It was so horrible they begged me to shut it off after the first 30 minutes of horrible graphics, corpse-like acting and a storyline that didn't bother to have any dialog with other characters when one line yelled at random seemed to suffice. Later, when my husband got home, I had to show him the hilarity...he suggested beers to ease the pain.
1- Drink when Patrick Labyorteaux (the dad) ignores any conversations, questions or information screamed at him and just stares into the camera.
2- Drink when stock footage barely related to the current place in the story line is used.
3- Drink when the stock footage reveals the family is driving a different vehicle than the one shown in the previous scene.
4- Drink when Nick Afanasiev (the son) freaks about something. If this happens within the same 30 seconds of the dad staring into the distance, finish your drink.
We ran out of beer long before the movie was finished.
The Wicker Man (2006)
I saw this for free and I still want my money back.
I rented this title from the local library over the weekend for free. I like Nicholas Cage so I figured it had to be somewhat entertaining. It wasn't. It was full of B-movie stunts, like loud music and chanting preceeding a dangerous moment for the main character, which didn't add to story telling but got predictable and grating. I couldn't get sucked into this movie as I spent the entire time being annoyed by the soundtrack or trying to guess why the actors looked so...well, like they had wicker shoved up their ***. With such stilted acting I couldn't feel any compassion for the characters and didn't really care about the huge betrayal in the end. I was just glad it happened because it meant the end of the film was near. Please don't get me wrong, I love B-movies, it is how I like to spend a rainy afternoon. I like most of the remakes in their own rights not in comparison. I loved that it was filmed where I grew up at. I liked all the actors of this film (in other films). Yet this movie still somehow managed to suck enormously. Skip it unless you are REALLY bored or a die hard Cage fan.
300 (2006)
Just for a little bit....I was a Spartan.
Yes there are historical inaccuracies in this movie. Like any good war story some facts must be embellished, some of the events skewed all in an effort to draw the listener in and FEEL what happened in that battle. The movie 300 does that in a way that leaves you craving another chapter to be told. Those that are going to see this movie expecting a documentary of Spartan life, skip it. Wait for another special to be done by the History Channel....or, go and enjoy this sensory feast of art. . Think comic book come to life and you've got this movie spot on. Even if you aren't a fan of comics it is well worth the price of admission for the speeches King Leonidas gives his men. (It made Mel Gibsons speech in Braveheart sound a like pep-rally at a girls school.) Yes, for just a little bit, I too was a Spartan.