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1/10
Revoltingly violent; ridiculous plot, sad reflection of today's "entertainment"
26 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
In the first 5 minutes of this abhorrently violent film, one of the film's protagonists is literally sliced in half, length-wise, from top to bottom, by a (yawn) hot, Asian-looking, double-amputee with some sort of "slasher foot-prosthetics" on her tawny, spandex-clad limbs. Yes, you read that right. Not only are the physics involved in this ludicrous action simply impossible, there is NO blood--nothing. Just an insipidly-dumb, ill-conceived effect designed to make sadistic killing "funny" and elicit a cheap "ooh!" from the audience.

But wait--there's more. In another disturbing scene, a church full of "Westboro Baptist"-style fundamentalist bigots beat, claw, and slash each other to death to the musical accompaniment of the "Free Bird" ending guitar solo. I guess mass murder is cool and fun if it's scored to some popular music and if the victims are just ignorant bigots; hey, no foul, no crime. Are we supposed to cheer this? There are other nauseating violent scenarios, all shot in the latest hi-tech digital slow-motion, freeze-frame camera work that makes rednecks and "real men" squeal in ecstasy. Oh yeah-and at the end, the hero's "prize" for "saving the world"? Why, what every alcohol-numbed fratboy/ socially-challenged gamer dreams of; (read this with a Swedish accent)"sex in the asshole" with a winsome, blond Scandinavian princess. I kid you not, folks. This is the shallowest, lowest-common-denominator script-writing.

This movie is an utterly disgusting and pathetic reflection of what passes for "entertainment" in today's mentally-damaged world of desensitized adults raised on UFC blood sport, graphic "head shots" in ultra-violent video games and a lack of real moral role models from our authority figures and heroes. It's a world of violence for violence' sake, and graphic violence as "entertainment". I felt dirty and stained after sitting through this turkey with my fiancé's friends on our double-date. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience the indignity...
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Evidence (2013)
1/10
Warning: puke-inducing, vomit-inspiring camera work
3 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Serious warning here: you MAY actually vomit or puke if you try to watch this movie. The most notable thing about this movie is, WITHOUT QUESTION, the horrendous, horrible camera-work that will make you feel as if you're trying to watch a movie while seated on "The Spider" carnival ride(google it!). Both my fiancée and I were literally nauseous halfway through the movie because of the overuse of herky-jerky, shaky "found footage". This movie is LITERALLY unwatchable. It is the WORST example of this genre of movie that I know of, ever made.

As far as the hacked plot and completely-unbelievable ending, the storyline and acting are average at best--but the plausibility of the "twist" ending is completely off-the-charts ridiculous. It makes no practical sense whatsoever, and the very final scene almost takes this into a perverse "gore-art nouveau" category.

All in all, VERY poorly done.
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The Broken (2008)
1/10
Save your time and money
7 August 2010
Let me be succinct here, people. Disregard all the reviews here that gush about the "gorgeous imagery" or fanciful camera-work, good acting, or "style" of this movie. You don't have to be a genius to see that the bottom line is that this movie is the victim of a horrible (or nonexistent) screenwriter and a director who was either struggling through some kind of addictions whilst filming or simply so wrapped up in being "artistic" that he completely forgot to TELL THE STORY!

The ending is one of those where the screen goes black, and you pray that the credits won't start to roll, and then--to your absolute horror, you see, "cast" slowly emerging from the bottom of the screen as you scream "HUH?! I DON'T GET IT!!!??"

One last parting shot--the sound editor should get his hearing professionally checked, as what passes for a soundtrack in this movie will almost blow your TV's speakers out if you have the volume loud enough to even hear the minimal dialog.

A total waste of time and money except for film students who want to see how NOT to direct a successful film.
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