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Reviews
Opal (2020)
This film gets a "Fever Scale" rating of 10
I just got HBO Max and discovered that they have a bunch of Adult Swim programs, which I haven't had the joy of watching for close to a decade. I came across Jack Stauber's Opal, and it is a true gem! The Claymation, music, and overall ambiance makes this one of the creepiest, yet most beautiful shorts I have ever seen! Whenever I watch a film with stop motion animation or any other type of unusual media, I assess its effectiveness according to how well it does at tricking my brain into thinking I am growing delirious from fever (This goes back to the stuff I would watch as a sickly child). Wallace and Gromit, Gumby, The Year Without a Santa Claus, and Fraggle Rock all give me this delirious, yet comforting, feeling. Opal is the first film I have seen in the last decade that has given me such an eerie and nostalgic feeling. It is as if Gumby and his friends ate an entire sheet of acid, and we get to ride along to witness their experience. This film is truly an amazing work of art.
Saving Christmas (2014)
The dance scene at the end!
I somehow survived watching whatever this was. I thought I was having a terrible dream, but then the dancing happened. I decided this needed a star of its own! I would seriously love to be inside Kirk Cameron's mind for 30 seconds. Any more than that, and I'm afraid I would be permanently scarred. This is truly as terrible as everyone has said. I think I'm going to make watching this a Christmas tradition.
The Invitation (2015)
SAVE YOURSELVES! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!
I forced myself to watch this movie all the way through since it has such great reviews. I kept waiting for it to get better, or at least have some sort of plot. Unfortunately, neither of those happened. Shame on all of you who gave this more than one star. The first 3/4 of the movie was what I am assuming supposed to be character development. That was a complete fail! I don't think I have ever cared about characters less than these people. I will say the acting and directing was somewhat decent, which is why it got the one star I gave it. The story line lacked every single aspect of what makes a good film. Have none of you actually seen a decent film in your lives?
The Invitation (2003)
Beautiful Film!
I don't write reviews much, but felt the need to with this one. I loved everything about this movie. The acting and cinematography were well above average. I also think it had a great message. Just don't go into this thinking of it as a typical horror movie. This doesn't have the monsters and jump scares. The "horror" is much more on a psychological and spiritual level.
Call Me by Your Name (2017)
Greatest Film of the 21st Century!
I thought this was going to be a decent coming of age movie, but it is so much more than that. It is slow paced, so you definitely need to be in the mood to watch. I have never seen a film that captured the perfect mood through dialogue and silence as Call Me By Your Name did.
I Spit on Your Grave (2010)
One of the worst movies of all time!
I was hoping to watch a good vigilante justice movie, but this POS was boring and the acting is way less than mediocre. Do not waste your time with this movie, that is unless you just enjoy watching women get raped. If you want to watch a well done vigilante film that covers the same topic, but in a tasteful and artistic way, watch Promising Young Woman instead. I am not pretentious when it comes to movies. After all, my favorite genre is cheesy horror movies. I have never left a movie review either, but I'm hoping this will save at least one person from the terrible fate of dying from boredom.