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zoe_washburn
Reviews
Gran Torino (2008)
This Really Needs To Get Off The Top 250 NOW!
In real life, I give this movie a six out of ten, but as mentioned in the title, I want it off the Top 250. Was this film good? Yeah, it was, in a made-for-TV-movie-unleashed sort of way. Was it nearly as deep as it tries to pass off as? Hell, no.
Before everyone goes off on this movie being all deep and meaningful, let me remind you it has all been done before, and it has been done better. Better movie exploring racism and the banding together of races in poor neighborhoods? How about Spike Lee's "Do The Right Thing"? Better movie about old men teaching a boy about how to become a man? Does "Secondhand Lions" ring a bell?
My main problem with the film is this--no one is surprised by the turn of events. No one is surprised by the grumpy old racist man. From the very beginning of the film it is one long string of predictable events. Oh, there's a racist old man who fought in Korea. Hey look! There's a family of Asians living right next door! Hmmm, the kids cousin is in a really funny looking Asian-wanna-be-tough gang. I bet that will be trouble. Oh, the boy has to go work for the old man? They will probably become best buds and when the old man drops dead, as they always do in movies, he will leave him the car. Let's see...thirty minutes in, and I know the whole movie. The true irony is that in the movie Tao asks Walt if he should watch paint dry, which for a large part is what this movie was like (did that stop me from crying? Of course not.) How about that?
And on the note of symbolism--stigmata is not original. If anything it is overused and used improperly. *Cough, cough* Sorry old man, but you are most certainly not Christ.
On the note of Top 250--It's embarrassing. The fact this movie is outranking truly amazing films such as: Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, On The Waterfront, High Noon, The Green Mile, Donnie Darko, The Deer Hunter, Snatch, The Graduate, V for Vendeta, Harvey, The African Queen (the fact it ranks above ANYTHING with Katherine Hepburn should be evidence enough), Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Bonnie and Clyde, Little Miss Sunshine (better old man movie), and The Philadelphia Story, is a blatant embarrassment to American taste in film. HAVE RESPECT FOR THE CLASSICS, PLEASE! Are these films all great movies that will withstand the test of time for ages? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will Gran Torino last through the week? I SURE HOPE NOT!
The Spirit (2008)
For those tired of whiners:
COME ON IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please. Stop obsessing over your failed expectations and admit it: Samuel L. Jackson doing a Fearless Leader impersonation was totally worth it. The cheesy old-style detective narration was hilarious and well suited and did not take itself too seriously. The skirt-chasing Spirit was at least likable. The women were amazing. The jumping foot was hilarious. You can tell everyone making the movie had fun! So give up and have fun with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are we so obsessed with people's previous works that when they attempt to even remotely stray from them we do nothing but slam them... I think in all fairness, people deserve this film from Frank Miller. They deserve to be failed in their desire for an action packed blood bath. I went in thinking "It's Frank Miller, it will be pretty." I was satisfied. I enjoyed the film because I wanted to. I didn't feel let down by a lacking blood bath or a cheesy script. I simply accepted that hey--here's something one of my favorite directors wanted to show us, let's see what he got. I enjoyed it because it was an enjoyable film. I didn't let the break from traditional style ruin the movie for me. I just sat back and enjoyed the ten bucks I spent.
Yes Man (2008)
Don't be a no man!
I went to this film as one of those process-of-elimination things: Valkry had Tom Cruise, my friend had already seen Benjamin Button, Spirit's show-times suck, my local theater is idiotic and not showing Doubt or Slumdog Millionaire, all leaving Yes Man which neither of us were enthused about, but hey! it got us out of the house. We were shocked to leave the theater with our lungs hurting. The movie was well thought, well executed, and the humor was smart, snappy, and so far from the usual toilet humor of Jim Carrey. I was throughly and delightfully surprised with this film. On the note of message: I think this film actually has a very valuable message. Never in the history of humankind has the average person had so many opportunities to live life in ways never before imagined, yet never before have we been so isolated. Our computers; our phones; our mp3s and ipods; dare I say it, our movies all keep us isolated from actual social interaction. We are skeptical and judgmental about those who actually seek social interaction and friendship (site: Norman) that we fail to realize we are the ones who are actually lame--we are the ones not gathering with the people we love and those we have yet to meet. We are the ones spending our nights lulled into lame predictability, sitting in front of our TVs, telling characters in films to "just snap it off already." Yes Man is not just a fun filled film. It is a well deserved social critique.
Stardust (2007)
Robert De Niro Needs To Go Find Billy Crystal
Robert De Niro needs to go find Billy Crystal--"I go fag, you die" (and only for his mafioso character do I permit and forgive the use of the word fag). I think dancing in a tu-tu with a fan sends De Niro into a flaming fit of flair and glamor that will have the audience dissolving in giggles. In addition to De Niro's massively entertaining parade, the film is a winner. It addresses love, and how more often than not people are more in love with the idea of being in love than actually being in love. It explores the path that one must follow towards self-knowledge, and it blooms in its charm, lovely cinematography, and the beautiful fairy-tale sway of the plot. Clair Danes is positively luminescent as the Star, and Charlie Cox is a charming take on the hero of Neil Gaiman's novel. Overall, while the story itself is another fairytale of a faraway place that perhaps cannot meet the epic battles of others, it is a sweet, blissful escape that brings you back to earth feeling content with the belief that every once in a while you truly can catch a falling star.
Beowulf (2007)
BeoWolf
We all know the story of the boy who cried "wolf." Beowulf, certainly called it. I was expecting a movie that was at least bearable. For the second time in my life, I walked out of a theater (the first being Osmosis Jones). This film was morally insulting, degrading to women, an insult to Beowulf, and visually assaulting. The possibility for beautiful cinematography was ruined by over-done animation, leaving me feeling nauseated, and ultimately fleeing the theater. I do not look forward to the new age of animation. It was clever when Polar Express came out--now, its just annoying--film films, animate cartoons. Don't mix the two. Not that undoing animation could save Beowulf. An oozing Grendel did nothing to help this movie's case. The blatant grotesque nature is abhorring, and leaves the viewer feeling visually assaulted. This films out look on women and their historical role is not only far from entertaining, but insulting and demeaning. The romance between Beowulf and Hrothgar's young wife makes women appear to be lacking in virtue and moral capability, contributed by more subtle comments, such as the village women, and Beowulf's comrades' behaviors. Ultimately, this movie will not stand the test of time. It will slip between the cracks in the sidewalk into the sewer where it belongs.
Martian Child (2007)
This Movie Will Blow Your Mind To Outerspace
With John Cusack, I have found great performances and amazing films, as well as movies that left a lot to be desired. This movie was perhaps one of his best films and most satisfying performances since "Say Anything..." in 1989. This film had perfect juxtaposition which is on the same standard as "Little Miss Sunshine." The movie hits you hard, makes you think, and just as it's about to make you cry--something outrageously funny happens and you are laughing too hard to even think of crying. Bobby Coleman is perfect in his role--quirky, poignant, and subtly portrays a character that many children would over-act, giving Dennis the credibility and relatablity that he deserves. His performance is reminiscent of Johnny Depp in "Benny and Joon," and this young boy will win just as many hearts. Both leading actors portray their characters perfectly and work so amazingly well together that their performances are seamless. This movie is one of the best I have seen in a long time. It is truly a work of universal mastery.