Reviews

Here's another movie lamely based on another lame law potboiler by John (yuck) Grisham. There's a pretty heady cast here, what with Cusack, Hackman and Hoffman, and that's about the only thing commendable about this movie. The ludicrous set up has us choosing jurors in a covert CIA-style set piece that should be laughable, even for the most gullible of viewers. The less said about the law suit against a gun company, the better; the politics are all elementary level here. All the suspense is derivative of like-minded pictures and without a trace of originality or style. Fleder directs in Hollywood factory style. Hackman outshines everyone else in the cast, but playing the apathetic villain was probably the easiest job on this picture. The New Orleans setting adds to the proceedings a bit, but not enough to make this anything more than a forgettable courtroom thriller. Yawn.

As retro films go, Mondo Cane is still a refreshing take on schlock, documentary filmmaking, hilariously camp in it's motives and of more than passing interest in this age of reality TV. The setups and prurient approach that made these films popular at the time of their release is only re-reflected in the equally blatant, reality trash that has successfully been permeating TV since the turn of the new century. It's stunning just how the tastes of pop-culture audiences have changed in the last 50 years or so. A retrospective of the Mondo film genre is represented beautifully in a nicely-packaged DVD box set, which includes a terrifically interesting documentary on the two filmmakers, Jacopetti and Prosperi, who started the trend with this Italian potboiler back in 1962. MONDO CANE is not as dated as some would lead you to believe, particularly if you examine the motives behind it, and the method of it's humor and social commentary. Perhaps the most significant contribution MONDO CANE offers as a film chronicle, and undeniably the most artistic, is the Riz Ortolani/Nino Oliviero music score which includes one of the great melodies of the 20th Century, MORE. MONDO CANE is a "reality" movie sure to please even the most jaded multiplexer. Beautifully photographed and scored.

You could do worse than this Disney rehash of one of their better older movies. It's well cast and relative in quality to a good TV sitcom, but hardly worth investing in for a night out at the movies. It's no better than the Jodie Foster/Barbara Harris original, and more of a reflection of the lack of imagination now permeating Micheal Eisner's Disney Corporation. Curtis is a talented comedienne, and should be seen more often, but Lohan and the younger players are perky and cute in the worse sense of the word. The teenage episodes are annoying and dim, and there's a dreadful rock-band premise to bring the whole thing to a screeching halt. Unnerving, but good for an adolescent laugh or two.

This low-budget monster movie tries to cash in on the old terror-in-the-woods creature feature formula, but tries way too hard for its own good. It's mostly annoying for taking itself too seriously. By the time you reach the climax, you're bored, even with a less-than-ninety-minute running time. Most of the bad parts are way worse than the rubber-suited monster harassing our protagonists; in fact, the creatures are amusing enough in a 50's sci-fi kind of way. The acting is soap-opera caliber, but the female lead is particularly homely and shrewish, which is a big mistake in a cheap thriller like this. The worse thing of all though, is an outdoor make-out session by a couple of disposable co-eds during which they feel up each other's blue jeans. While there is some throwaway, gratuitous nudity, it's not milked to the point of satisfaction and undercut by the constant and witless bantering between the cast. I'll reiterate, the women in this are all unappealing, a major mistake for this kind of flick. Unforgivable!

All the episodes of this sword and sorcery series simply capitalize on the formula that made the HERCULES or BEASTMASTER TV shows successful; but a couple of these in syndication is enough. What was needed here was something more edgy with a fantasy/noir atmosphere. Bodybuilder Ralf Moeller is ideally cast, but his character is decidedly too friendly and heroic to be taken as a barbarian thug, which is the proper way to develop the Conan character. Where is the stimulating eroticism and fetishistic bondage situations that make a loinclothed hero satisfying. Even on TV, you can push the envelop to reasonable limits in these two critical areas. What we don't need are cutesy, self-righteous sidekicks or a little-man buddy (reminiscent of many a schlocky Italian peplum pic). Another thing that keeps this kind of thing interesting is a cool, sadistic villain, and this series fails miserably here, too. The key wizard villain is far from sinister and his bantering interludes with a "potted skull" slow down the proceedings irreparably. Not nearly enough bang for your buck here.

This incredibly uneven film version of Gore Vidal's racy mid-century sex fantasy is, as many reviewers have stated, never boring and certainly intriguing. Much of the disparate views behind and in front of the camera are laid out in gossipy commentaries (one by director Sarne and another by star Raquel Welch) and the AMC tabloid-style documentary supplement.

The Gore Vidal book on which it's based is a wickedly witty tirade on sexuality and the movies. The film is a playful adaptation of one-liners and vignettes more akin to a TV sitcom than a racy sleaze satire. What little cynicism and wit the film does provide, is actually thanks to the alluring Ms. Welch, who delivers admirably well for the most part. The rest of the cast, except for John Huston, is totally inept, and that includes Miss Mae West, long over-the-hill and inappropriately cast and catered to by Director Sarne (to the utter dismay of Ms. Welch).

There's much to enjoy here, and as a curiosity, the film does deliver. My advice would be to read the book, which is excellent; and then go watch the film, which is merely weird. Both are wildly engaging no matter how you look at it; and the DVD is absolutely terrific fun.

This circa 1968 horse opera lacks the violence that was in vogue in most American Westerns of that time (thanks to the immediate success of the Spaghetti variety and Peckinpah's WILD BUNCH). This film is actually a somewhat gentle study of post-civil-war brothers who've drifted apart but want to maintain loyalty to each other. Stewart and Dean Martin are less-than-convincing as the brothers, but Martin holds his own with Jimmy playing up the sentimentality and romance. Raquel Welch is simply window dressing here, astonishingly attractive, but still just scenery as the love interest. She plays it with a self-indulgent Mexican accent that is sultry and amusing. The supporting cast is top-notch as these things go, and Jerry Goldsmith wrote one of his more jaunty themes for the title track. The new Fox DVD is crisp with well-saturated color and a surprisingly directional matrixed stereo soundtrack, livening up immensely Mr. Goldsmith's contribution.

This overripe Jane Campion film is just as pretentious and oblique as LOOKING FOR MISTER GOODBAR was melodramatic and blunt. Yes, I found this to be a loose rehash of the old disco potboiler that gave Diane Keaton a chance to dish out the sleaze to counter-balance her plucky comedic image. Campion's film allows Meg Ryan to do the same, and this motive is annoyingly obvious while viewing IN THE CUT. I'm not familiar with the Susanna Moore novel, but her screenplay here certainly has an annoying air of familiarity to it. The murder plot is conventional and Meg's feminine dilemma is clear enough here, too, but the sleazy environment and graphic sexual moments are uneventful. The flashback romantic fantasy-on-ice is goofy, just like the heavy-handed, fortune-cookie sayings in the subway. At least this is a chick-flick with some welcome dirty passages. Kevin Bacon is a standout in a walk-on role. Mediocre masturbating mostly for Meg and Jane fans.

Melville's highly-regarded film deserves it's reputation and patrons. Philosophics rule at the expense of plausibility; no problem. Ambivalent eccentricities abound between cops and robbers, giving us one of the clearest visions of the fine line between law enforcement and criminal behavior. Above all, Melville's clearly delivered notion that "we are all guilty" is explored methodically, cleverly and with a stylish clinical precision. The subtle background jazz is by Eric DeMarsan; very cool. The blue-toned photography is by Henri Decae; icy. The cast is exceptional and Alain Delon is the king of the trench coat. Very smooth. The Criterion DVD captures the film with accuracy and supplements the feature with an entire second disc of follow-up interviews with cast and director.

This sleazy bit of melodrama, loosely based on a racy Nelson Algren book, is now dated kitsch; but can be enjoyed for what it is, thanks to the Hollywood team that put it all together. It's trashy intentions and heavyhanded delivery work in it's favor nowadays, so the brilliant Columbia DVD transfer is well worth checking out. The highlight of the movie is the Elmer Bernstein score; a masterwork with a life all it's own. The cast is a hoot: Barbara Stanwyck standing out as a lesbian brothel owner, a stiff dyke, hardly correct as a New Orleans Madame; Jane Fonda is a pouty, sultry slut, overdoing her overaged, nubile nymphette act; Laurence Harvey stretches all credibility as the good-boy Texas heartthrob searching for his lost love; an utterly miscast Capucine, playing an artsy, elegant whore-with-a-heart-of-gold; and Anne Baxter is quite humorous as a Mexican cafe owner. It's hard not to enjoy a movie with lead characters whose names are Dove and Kitty Twist, and a title song performed by Brook Benton with lyrics like: "Chances of goin' to Heaven, 6 to 1!".

An interestingly sadistic take on the last days of Jesus; interesting in that it's basically a punishment play who's well-known buildup and denouement are quite subordinate to the overall intention of assaulting the audience with some pretty convincing brutality. An old story with a new take. The subtitles and blood will turn off the multiplex crowd, so this intriguing little "passion play" will come and go, even with the outlandish pile of publicity that was arranged before it's premiere. A well-photographed horror movie about how mean those Romans could be....hahaha! Jews, too. I'd much prefer a more lurid Jesus movie, like the Italian nunsploitation films of old. Hah!

Here's a "boys life" tale with just the right sense of humor and perfect casting. The same old message is brought to life with a pair of wonderful performances from Caine and Duvall. Caine is especially good. Osment delivers on cue and holds his own with a couple of dazzling old pros. The director should have deleted all the scenes of the Osment character as an adult, otherwise this is a real winner.

It's routine but smooth and elegant, thanks to the perfect casting of the icy Delon. There's some smart dialog and some honest interaction going on here, but modern multiplexers will probably find it tedious and much too lifelike for their tastes. Still, for the sophisticated, it's worth a look.

The old set up, with a bunch of brats going into the woods for a good time and getting what they deserve. Some bits of mean-spirited humor make this one well worth the trip. I find hard it to fathom so many bad reviews on this kind of trashy fun. Only the most humorless of movie-going snobs could refuse to enjoy a movie featuring a bloody finger dittle! The score was downright exceptional for a B-grade horror flick, too.

Winger and Russell are sensational here, characteristically different yet essentially the same in nature. The sinister plot trappings and black widow symbolism keep the film lively but only serve to heighten the intriguing subtext of two women obsessed with success and competition. Winger is exceptional as always, and while Russell is notably uneven as usual, they both succeed admirably. All the supporting parts are brilliantly played. This is one of the finest and most enjoyable femme fatale films around. A widescreen version is thankfully now available on DVD from Fox.

This silly movie has a couple of worthwhile moments to make it worth a look. First is the Rio location photography at the beginning; but the best thing is the chief villain's sidekick. A simpering octogenarian named Perfecto. I just loved Perfecto in his big scene where he's ordered to bend over and take a kick in the ass from his evil boss for attempting to think. Now on DVD for those looking for something truly different. Way better than THE HULK and DAREDEVIL flicks!

A lame premise is tediously presented as a mysteriously bogus ghost story. Pearce comes on like a corpse and the flashbacks are as stupidly sentimental as the use of the overwrought T.S. Eliot poem from which the title is derived. Stupifying!

I recommend this one simply because it's got a degree of class, features Jeff Bridges and is visually striking. There aren't many contemporary films in it's class, so it's a prime example of how these things are best done in Hollywood today. It does jam Americana down your throat less subtly than I'd like, but that's a matter of opinion. It doesn't let the horse theme become overbearing, so good for that. As a well-meaning history lesson, you can do a lot worse. As an animal movie, it's not as good as Born Free. Generally old-fashioned in a good way, though.

This time around Victor Salva has taken the JEEPERS CREEPERS franchise and gone from a strict horror formula to one of action and made a nicely engaging monster movie. The script here is not particularly smart or nearly as neat as the first film, but the homoerotic undertones, the mean-spirited character interplay and the spectacularly symphonic music score more than make up for the logical shortcomings of the screenplay. An engaging monster movie.

Here's a low-level cop actioner for the multiplex crowd. I don't know about you, but I find it rather silly having the fey Farrell trying to play a tough guy. He's the type you'd smilingly talk out of a traffic ticket; and it's time for Michele Rodriguez to change her butch act and move on to more interesting roles, too. Another old television show to bore audiences to death as a two-hour feature...when will Hollywood stop it!

The whole scenario is contrived and predictable. This independent feature has a relatively well-known cast who do an adequate job with a one-act play concocted as if it were a two-week writing assignment from James Lipton (and it might have impressed HIM). Unconvincing, unenlightening, turgid little melodrama on modern ethics and greed. Simpleminded stuff.

This angry, unsentimental film of brutality is a philosophical punch in the face, just like Noe's previous film, known in the USA as I STAND ALONE. It's a revelation simply for the controversial opinions audiences tend to have after seeing it. At the very least, this picture makes you take a long hard look at how things can change from minute to minute, and that most of us are lucky enough to not have minutes change to hours when confronted with unspeakably bad luck! Gaspar Noe is the most refreshing, audacious filmmaker since Cronenberg really came into his own with DEAD RINGERS and CRASH. Stunning and mesmerizing filmmaking!

It amazes me that the overrated imagination of Stephen King is still getting Hollywood attention. I guess it takes one bad imagination to appreciate another. This is one of the more dopey monster movies to come along in a while. The cast doesn't take anything seriously and the monster looks like a turd with teeth (which also aptly applies as a description of this forgettable flick). Kasdan and company appear as if they did this one while snorting many lines of coke.

This Spencer Tracy/Sinatra vehicle held high hopes for Columbia, but really disappointed at the boxoffice, some say, because of the downbeat ending. Actually it's a real potboiler that probably was a bit too pompous in it's day, but survives now as a crass Hollywood adventure story with some really corny, pious dramatics and symbolism. Actually rather picturesque in a studio-made way, with bright Technicolor photography and a wonderfully overbearing music score by George Duning, this is old-fashioned, Hollywood melodrama (rather camp now) of the most enjoyable kind. Check out the widescreen DVD from Columbia for the best results.

This well-paced creepshow by Danny Boyle works on a visceral level and it's basic "bad blood" premise is presented stylishly right from the start, beginning with a terrific prologue. The turn of events where the military squadron is revealed as interested in nothing but firing their guns and getting a woman is a high point midway through the picture, and carries it in a welcome new level right up until the rather too-pleasant conclusion...only minor quibbles with this generally smart take on an old formula.