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1/10
Godawful! Don't even click on it.
31 May 2024
It is not enough that Seagal is a terrible actor, but everything about this production is cheap, corny, low budget, and unbearable.

Apparently, it is possible to write a script with no story, just a jumble of scenes that don't make sense, then follow it up with a microscopic budget, and with lousy actors, and you get a Steven Seagal film.

It is not enough that Seagal is a terrible actor, but everything about this production is cheap, corny, low budget, and unbearable.

Apparently, it is possible to write a script with no story, just a jumble of scenes that don't make sense, then follow it up with a microscopic budget, and with lousy actors, and you get a Steven Seagal film.
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Candy Cane Lane (I) (2023)
1/10
Absolute garbage.
18 December 2023
The only thing Christmas about this was basically nothing. This is more of an anti-christmas movie. So many good actors and their talent was wasted on a worthless script. The characters were not well developed at all and none were relatable. All of Eddie Murphy's talent and charisma were lost in a weak plot with more holes than swiss cheese. It felt like a patch quilt of activities stitched together in an almost random pattern to arrive to the end of the story. What a disappointment. We can all hope this goes straight to the bottom of the video pile and never again sees the light of day. Now go see something better (basically anything, at this point).
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