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skimpus
Please don't take my reviews seriously, they are very tongue-in-cheek!
Account Birth: October 28th 2022
JUST 2 LET U KNOW I GIVE BREAKING BAD 10/10 STARS. I JUST HAD TO SACRIFICE A STAR FOR A JOKE.
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
THE BEST HOLIDAY FILM EVER MADE
THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT THIS IS THE BEST ADAM SANDLER MOVIE EVER PRODUCED IN THE 21ST CENTURY. I WAS TAKEN ABACK BY THE FACT THIS FILM HOLDS SUCH A PERSONAL, INDULGING INDIVUALISM TO MY OWN CATERING FANTASIES. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PLEASED IN MY LIFE. THIS MOVIE WAS A GOD SEND! PERHAPS IT'S THE HUMOR THAT CAPTIVATES ME OR PERHAPS IT'S THE ANIMATION STYLE WHICH ALSO GIVES ME THE IMPRESSIONS OF ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILMS "THE IRON GIANT". I WATCHED THIS MOVIE TWICE IN A ROW BECAUSE I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I WOULD PROBABLY WATCH IT GAAIN FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON OR PERHAPS JUST WHEN I'M FEELING DOWN. THANK YOU TO ALL WHO WORKED ON THIS UNBEATABLE FILM. MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M A TEENAGER AND I FOUND THE MOVIE GENIUS SO OF COURSE I AM ACCEPTING OF ANY OBJECTIONS TO MY TASTE. BUT DOES THAT REALLY MATTER TO ME? NO, I JUST WANT TO RAMBLE AND RAMBLE ON ABOUT HOW THIS CINEMATIC MASTEPIECE HAS IMAPCTED MY TASTE ON FILM FOREVER.
Postal (2007)
this should be used as a torture device
I don't know why, but i expected more from this movie. I really shouldn't have been so foolish to have my hopes up. I don't even want to speak of what happens in this movie. I'm not offended, really, I just felt like my soul had been violated. This movie is just bad. That's all i can say. It's funny, sure, i laughed a few times but i think that was a call for help. I'd give this movie a lower score, but i just can't. I love postal..so that adds a star. Zack ward is the greatest guy that has ever lived, so of course i must add a star for that too. And it was a bit funny.. but i really REALLY do not want to watch this movie ever again. Borat does a better job with offensive comedy, really. Thank you for your time. - skimp xoxo
P. S. I LOVE U ZACK WARD!!!! ^_^
Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa (2002)
tears in my eyes
On the day of Christmas of this year, I watched this in the living room with my family. They were disturbed, enlightened and most importantly: traumatized. This film deals damage to the soul and your mind. It is like a psychological device that will take possession of your mind and never let it go until you finally, truly and indubitably.. believe in Santa. And once you watch it about 5 times, you will understand the true meaning behind this movie.
For one thing, yes, there is a story in this film and many people point at the weak plot and animation (which we will tackle later), but if you actually pay attention and watch this film about 5 times like i said, you will UNDERSTAND! Not only do you have to believe in Santa, but you must have empathy for others. Santa is not ust a being who brings gifts to the children of the season, but he is an allegory for all the good at the end of the year. To reflect on ourselves and just be good in the last month.. you know?
Now to the animation.. Have you people ever heard of avant-garde? Or even abstract? This movie is experimental. Sure, it could because they were on a budget, but does that really affect anything? Maybe they wanted the movie to look like this! This movie's art direction looks like some Radiohead and Avant-garde fans came together with their grandparents to make this masterpiece. Please watch this movie. Memento Mori.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
SPECTACULAR
I was not expecting much from this film but I had heard much praise of it and so I went to the theatre and watched this film with an open mind.
First off..WOW!!! The animation and character design is gorgeous and the characters are captivating. I really like the new style for Puss in Boots in this film. The action scenes are incredible and put you on the edge of your seat. I could talk about the characters designs and art direction for this film all day if I could. Some characters in the film are a bit annoying though, but in the end your grudge against them seem to vanish when they all resolve the big conflict. Also LOVE the humor in this movie. Great for kids, teenagers and adults alike!
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (2000)
Greatest Christmas Film of ALL TIME
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understood the absolute masterpiece that is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.
This is one of those films I saw as a young lad on TV and just recently (yesterday) I saw the film again and I have never laughed so hard at something so horrible yet good. The plot of the film is extremely strange but I did like it overall. Although there are a few things I would like to comment on:
1. Why the hell is Jake's dogs name DOOFUS? That's like naming your pet Fatty or R***** or whatever! I don't know what was going through the heads of the creators of this film.
2. What is wrong with Grandma's voice? If you knew, you would understand that as a woman ages her voice gets deeper and yet it did the complete opposite for her. Reverse puberty perhaps?
3. Grandpa is way too chill about the situation. When Jake leaves the house to find Santa or whatever he's just chill with it. Why would you let a 12 year old out of the house all by himself?
4. The entire "Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of santa" part. What the hell is that.
To put this film into simple words, "You guys are gonna go to hell for watching this." - My dad, 2022.
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)
GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!
This right here folks is what a movie is. Chase scenes, humor, a sad backstory, rebellion and an exciting goal..It's everything you would have ever wanted in a movie. Not only does this film have an excellent soundtrack, it has an amazing story and keeps you fixated on it. Is there really a reason why you shouldn't be watching this movie?
I usually don't watch movies for actors because I really don't care about that, but Jack Black in one of those actors/musicians that you have to see in action. He is just great. Also Brother Kyle is amazing too.. Don't ever forget him!
I think there is one last thing I have yet to tell about this film. It's the theme of teamwork and friendship. Two bros come together to achieve such a grand task, and during their conflicts they always come back for each other. It is simply beautiful. Also don't watch this movie around your parents it's a bit embarrassing.
Office Space (1999)
its ok
I really wanted to enjoy this movie, i really did! But I just couldn't watch anymore of this film. It was very boring to me, and I just didn't like our protagonist. The only character I really liked was Milton!!
I was really expecting more from Mike Judge since I love most of his creations but this just didn't stand.
I know this may not be agreeable to the majority, but I just hate the trope of the protagonist getting the girl or whatever. I just hate it..so much! Is there really a point for a character to always have a love interest? I just wanted to see the guy and his neighbor! Yeah, that's right, I don't even remember any of the characters' names besides Milton. Milton is my main man.
Overall, If you don't want to be bored, just don't watch this film.
Breaking Bad (2008)
great!
Great show to watch with the kids! This show has a few obscene scenes so i had to give the show 9 stars! Sorry! Some parts made me uncomfortable (Gus slitting that guys throat) but overall the story is great! You will laugh, cry, and throw your TV out the window and play in traffic but it's all worth it in the end. Breaking Bad is a show that has been praised for so long, and now that it has emerged again you can see that our future generation of youth shall be exposed to this great piece of fiction. And to the next and so on. This show deserves all it's praise. And in some situations I do not condone since I am a hardcore Christian, I cannot let that stop me from seeing great art. Thank you to all who made this unbeatable series. This show is the GOAT - Skimp xoxo.
American Psycho (2000)
I Am Speechless
I had told myself I would watch this movie after reading the novel first, but I just couldn't wait any longer. I'm glad I did.
American Psycho is a masterpiece. So many people could interpret this movie as something and the next person could interpret it as another. For me, it's a story of a man living in his desires that succumb into a nightmare, but a nightmare he accepts. He keeps himself in order, making sure he is clean and yet he could never discard the filth inside him. A man draped in lies. A man draped in a facade. He is Patrick Bateman.
I have never seen such a horrible character in fiction. He is cynical, sick, wretched and yet you can't help but want to see Patrick win. I feel like some may disagree, but as I said before this movie can be interpreted differently.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
A Memorable Comedy
In the beginning of this month, I decided to watch this movie out of sheer curiosity. Boy was I in for a treat.
We meet Harold and Kumar, two pothead besties who decide to go to White Castle. Is there anymore to say? I won't spoil you the good stuff.
The one true way to enjoy this movie is to experience it yourself. Sure, this movie may seem juvenile the naked eye, but once you immerse yourself into the movie you will understand the hidden undertones within the acting, lines, and overall structure of this 2000s classic.
I think this movie has wonderful representation and jokes, so you should watch it! As I said before, you must watch this movie to understand everything.
The Truman Show (1998)
Spectacular
I was not expecting much from this movie, I'll be honest, but after the whole facade had unfolded before Truman and the viewers eyes, I was amazed. I have never seen such a grand movie in all my 15 years of life. This film never had a boring moment and even if some parts seem slow, they excite the mind.
I stayed up late at night watching this, and I had never fallen asleep once which is very rare. This movie is captivating. I have never seen such a well constructed film! And the acting is phenomenal! I was actually thinking there was a real Truman! But alas, I am just too foreign on the subject of Jim Carrey movies. But besides that, I love this movie. Truman is a lovable protagonist and all that jazz. What's really important is that you take time out of your day to watch this movie. It will change the way you see the world.
Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (2004)
An experience all should live thorugh
This movie is extraordinary. I watched this movie at my friends house as a joke, we were not expecting to watch such a fantastic movie. I don't even want to spoil this movie, it has to be fully experienced by the viewer! This movie may seem girl-y, yes, but even if you classify yourself as male and or masculine I think it is essential you watch this for the ladies! I think all the ladies can agree this movie represents the tyranny of the world and yet the wholesome moments at the same time! The different divisions between the female species and yet the similarities blending together makes this movie a life changing experience.
BASEketball (1998)
Hilarious!
I am a big fan of South Park, and I just couldn't get enough of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's imaginable minds so I just had to see this movie! I was not expecting to enjoy this movie as much as I did, as I am not a very sporty person. I have never seen a funnier movie other than this besides Uncle Buck (1989)! This is a great film to watch when you are at a friends house and I WISH I could have seen this movie in theatres! I totally recommend this movie to any big South Park fans out there, and anyone who loves quirky and fun characters. To tie things together, this movie has changed my perception on how I watch movies now. It's a very life-changing experience. And if you are prepared to change your life in an hour and 43 minutes, then go! Go watch this grand movie! - Skimp
PS. I love the Aqua song used in this film!
Halloween Ends (2022)
HORRENDOUS
I went to the cinema with my friend expecting a grand movie, to say the least. When I arrived into the theatre and with my popcorn, lemonade and candy, i was prepared to have acid reflux on the seat in front of me. But when the movie began and all went dark, the mood set in. The movie begins with this NERD named Corey or something. And the more I watched, the more I thought: How does this have to do anything with Micheal Myers? (Keep in mind I have never watched any of the Halloween movies). BUT EVEN SO! I HATE THIS MOVIE. The story is CRAP and I really wanted to see the relationship between Myers and the lady who was traumatized by him and wanted revenge. FOR GODSAKE SHE IS ON THE COVER FOR THE MOVIE!!!! And yet it focuses on Corey and that girl that just met him and now shes in love with him? What the HELL is up with that? And that girl sucks at her job! This was like a middle schooler wrote this. The only thing that kept me content was eating my popcorn and reeses pieces at the same time which is very good and then downing it with lemonade. Overall? 1/10. I like going to the movies so I enjoyed that part, the movie had some nice bloody scene, but the story I HATE. And I hate Corey. Sincerely, Skimp xoxo.
Spookley the Square Pumpkin (2005)
Memorable
When you think of halloween movies, what do you think of? Movies that include horror and violence? Surreality? Well there are much more kid friendly titles that occupy the DVD shelves in the stores. Spooklye the Square Pumpkin is one of them. About two years ago I watched this film, and on Nick JR. I believe last year. When I watched this movie I was blown away by the zany charactes, and the zesty storyline. It's funny, the music is catchy, and the characters steal your heart. But if there are so many low ratings on this grand film, then why do I praise it so? Well, it is because I realize the moral judgements of this film. Yes, this movie is for kids and the animation has aged, but does that really stop it from being a Halloween classic? No! I think this is the greatest Halloween film ever produced. If you have kids, watch this movie. If you don't have kids, watch this movie. If you had a miscarriage, watch this movie. It does not matter. Watch this movie for yourself and soul - Skimpy.