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Last Straw (2023)
Why the bad reviews??
This was better than most "horror/slasher/thriller" movies that have been released in the last few years. Sure it's not perfect and there are plot holes everywhere but I think that's meant to be deliberate considering who the protagonists are (backwoods americans).
There are some decent twist and turns and the story is easy enough to follow if you pay attention and use your brain.
The main actress, Jessica Belkin, carries the movie with her performance and I thought suited the character nicely. The other actors all put in decent performances.
I think the other reviewers here are expecting some big hollywood production with the same boring storyline and cgi. It's a good movie and goes for a good length of time.
Jackpot! (2024)
Early Frontrunner for the Razzie Awards
Wow, just Wow... the main actress/character is one the most unfunny people I've seen on the screen in some time. It was like she was trying to perform a standup routine the whole time and just makes sad unfunny wisecracks in response to everything that is happening.
I knew John Cena was going downhill with his career choices but Paul Feig did some great movies once upon a time, sadly that time has passed. The direction is really lacking and has no real heart or soul to the movie at all. Not one character is developed enough to care anything about them.
This is just an indictment of the times where all these streaming services have to produce new content as a way to keep taking peoples money every month but they are beyond scraping the bottom of the barrel with this rubbish.
I'm guessing a lot of people have to been paid to offer positive reviews to this movie, or are related to someone in the movie, 'cause there is no way it's more than a 2 out of 10.
Don't be surprised if this gains Razzie nominations for Worst Actress, Worst Director and Worst Screenplay when the time comes.
Do yourself a favour and don't waste 106 minutes of your life on this "Action Comedy" rubbish.
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)
Was this some sort of Tax Writeoff for Zack Synder??
$166 Million to make both the Rebel Moon movies is just nuts.
There are no big name actors commanding multi million dollar salaries.
They definitely haven't spent it on the script or acting classes for the cast.
Special Effects aren't groundbreaking and does it really cost that much for some people at computers to add some laserfire and explosions?
Seems to me like this movie, and lots of other hollywood movies these days, are getting overinflated budgets so they can set use their own production and special effects companies to overcharge studios which in the end means us the consumer pays more.
As for the movie itself, well it was a great cure for my insomnia...
C*A*U*G*H*T (2023)
If You Under 40 or Not an Aussie, You Won't Get The Humour
This series is way better than what the reviewers would have you believe, provided you don't mind dark satire with some stupid politically incorrect humour thrown in. Harks back to the classic days of Australian tv like Frontline, All Together Now, Kingswood Country and Paul Hogan and movies like The Castle.
Ben O'Toole is great once again (see Bloody Hell to see how good this guy is) and the rest of the main characters all play their roles well, even the American "megastars" with their cameos.
The humour is played very straight and satirical so if you like that sort of thing you'll probably get this, but if you prefer your humour to have laugh tracks and hit you over the head to tell you when to laugh you won't like.
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Visually Stunning, Terribly Boring
The biggest problem with this movie is one that has crept into Hollywood over the last decade and no-one seems to really acknowledge... the actors mumble their lines in such low tones you have to turn the volume up full blast then when the character yells the audience feels the actor is more powerful then he/she really is but in reality they are boring and wooden. Not to mention your ears fall off when their is a sudden explosion during the mumbling. Gone are the days when actors were given roles based on talent and could actually talk in a normal clear tone, like George Clooney.
Overall the movie itself looks amazing and helps people overlook the boring as crap first 2 hours. All the high ratings and reviews on here are fans of the book and fans of visuals but clearly don't go to movies to be entertained. Between the acting of Zendaya, Dave Bautista, Austin Butler and Florence Pugh this movie should pick up a few razzie awards for bad acting, assuming people realise an empty blank look on your face does not involve any acting.
It's time critics and social media reviewers took their heads out of their lower back region and stopped blowing up average movies in an attempt to turn them into classics that they clearly are not.
Warrior Strong (2023)
Entertaining Movie That You've Seen Before
In terms of story there is nothing really new here, except maybe the inclusion of a trans/non-binary person as a main character.
Big time sporting hero hits rock bottom and does something stupid so heads back to small town to redeem themselves and then get connected to the kids they are mentoring before making a decision about what's most important.
The difference with this movie is a fantastic performance from Andrew Dice Clay, who seems to be making a comeback as a serious actor instead of comedic, and likeable characters (even if they are stereotyped).
If you want a bit of lighthearted family fun then you'll enjoy this but if you are looking for an inspirational life-changing sports movie this probably won't fit the bill.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Barely Watchable Wannabee Space Opera Fails on All Levels
Zack Snyder has directed some good movies (Sucker Punch, Justice League) and some rubbish (300) over his career. The fact disney rejected this as not being good enough for their SW franchise should tell you where this sits.
It's got no heart or soul at all. About 20% of the movie is Original and Interesting, the rest is predictable, forgettable and been there, done that I didn't care about any of the characters or the story. The constant Slo-Mo action scenes are unbearable. When slo-mo is used it's usually to mask bad fight choreography or to show something new (like The Matrix), in this case it was just because the director has a love for it (like he did in 300). The movie would've gone for 30 minutes less if they had normal action scenes so I guess that's one way to stretch a movie out.
This is a big budget version of one of those rip-off movies that come out around the same time as a blockbuster. Even with the big budget some things look cheap, like they made a paper mache mask and put it on a horse and called it an alien creature.
Normally reliable actors, like Djimon Hounsou, look totally clueless. Not because of their ability to act but because of the situations and dialogue they are given.
Outlaw (2007)
Takes a while to get into but worth the watch
The Outlaws is a good little british film about fear, revenge and standing up for yourself. It takes a little while to get the story going but once it does it's a pretty decent action thriller.
Sean Bean is great performance as always playing a former soldier returning from active duty and dealing with trying to fit back into society and a bit of PTSD. The other actors all put in great performances and round out the movie nicely.
I would've given this movie Eight out of Ten had it not been for the constant use of the shaky cam. Even when people are standing around talking the camera is shaking. Maybe the director couldn't afford a steady cam or something but it made me dizzy by halfway through the movie and had it been a less interesting film I would've turned it off due to the shaking camera syndrome.
The Family Plan (2023)
You've seen this movie before, just with different faces
The storyline isn't anything new so don't expect to be blown away. Hollywood has once again weaved it's magic and convinced people they are making new movies when they are the same old story with a slight twist and new cast. It's entertaining enough for a family movie but not that memorable.
Michelle Monaghan is the standout performance here and she really needs to be making more movies as she has a much wider range than Mark Wahlberg with his DiCaprio like three expressions acting style.
There are quite a few plotholes and stupid scenes but they can be easily overlooked if you turn your brain off and focus on eating while watching the film.
Kane (2023)
So Much Wasted Potential
I really wanted to like this film. It had a great premise, was shot in my hometown (so I got to see quite a few local places I recognised) and featured some great Aussie actors from our tv screens over the past 10 years. But it just didn't make sense.
I feel it would have been much better had the way it was told been more straightforward with a twist at the end explaining the multiple personality thing (like in Identity). Having the story told to the cops in a flashback/voiceover type of way just removed all tension because you already knew most of what was going on. Scenes like the driver getting away from the cops when he's driving a sports car with a fancy paint job and personalised plates just didn't seem likely. It felt like another one of these movies where the director wants to get noticed early on in their career so they do weird things to get noticed instead of just making a decent straight forward film. With a runtime of 80 minutes it actually seemed to drag on a bit and there was a distinct lack of action considering the movie poster.
Hands of Hell (2023)
If you like low budget horror films with bad acting this is for you
You know it's a bad sign when all the 10 star reviews are for the only movie the person has reviewed, and in one case it's from one of the directors.
The directing was a bit all over the shop with the camera angles and shaky cam making it more distracting and there was a filter that made it seem blurry a lot. I'm guessing these days directors like to show they are cool by using a hand held cam, or maybe it's a cost thing, but it was terrible at times. And there were these shots that seemed to just be there for the directors ego as a way of saying "look at how I framed this shot"
It's a low budget film so don't expect any award winning acting but it wasn't that bad. There were times the main actress (the girl killer) was doing really well but it just wasn't consistent enough, and she was the best of the bunch.
Sid Is Dead (2023)
Entertaining Teen Dramedy
Look, there's probably a lot you've already seen and the story is somewhat predictable and stereotypical characters but the movie was still entertaining and better than many big budget comedies with bigger names. The story is encouraging about how you shouldn't wait for things to be terrible before you start being yourself.
The lead actor played the part well and looked normal enough that you would believe his character wasn't popular. Anjelica Bette Fellini was great in her part and hopefully we will see a lot more of her in the future. There were a few recognisable faces from Nickelodeon and Disney shows.
And finally I have reached the minimum character limit for my review...
Hellraiser (2022)
Below average "horror(?)" movie
I saw so many people on social media talking up this movie and going on about how great it is so I'd thought I'd give it a go, what a mistake that was. Don't believe the online hype
There were no jump scares and very few thrills during the movie, though I fell asleep for about 10 minutes in the middle of the movie so maybe they all happened then... but it's unlikely.
Most of the characters are unlikable but in particular the main two. I felt no empathy or sympathy for them so the movie really dragged on because of it.
There is a lot of talk about how great the cenobites look, and they do, but the original Pinhead is much better. There was only one cenobite that was super creepy, the rest were just average.
Corrective Measures (2022)
Decent Low Budget Action Movie
I watched this movie on the same day I watched Ambulance and The Northman, this one turned out to be the most entertaining regardless of the fact it's budget was a small fraction of the other two.
It had an interesting story with a blurred line between heroes and villains' and didn't try to pretend to be something it isn't. It was just a basic action movie with criminals having special superpowers and a nice little twist at the end. What I enjoyed the most was seeing Michael Rooker getting a decent role and carrying the movie.
The Northman (2022)
A Big Budget Hollywood-ised version of Norwegian film
If you've watched a lot of Norwegian movies then this tale will seem familiar, not to mention the resemblance to Hamlet and many early revenge tales.
Sure it looks pretty but it just seems slapped together at times and there are quite a few boring parts. I was expecting spectacular action scenes with Viking berserkers instead I got bland simply choreographed moments that wouldn't look out of place on an episode of Xena.
Clearly there are a lot of reviewers and critics who have been sucked in by the hype, and who have probably never seen a Norwegian movie (which reminds me of the critics who were excited by all the hollywood movies that copied the HK movies during the 90s). I think part of the hype includes all the amazing actors who in reality only have very small parts in the movie.
I was a little confused how Amleth aged 40 years in a 20 year time span, though I guess life as a Berserker would do that. I was also confused how his mother looked younger then him, though that may have something to do with the beauty routine, natural or artificial, of Nicole Kidman. And lastly I was confused how an axe or sword makes a sound like metal scraping on metal when it cuts someone's throat or skin.
But don't take my word for it, watch and make up your own mind.
Ambulance (2022)
I was waiting for the ambulance to Transform....
It's easy to see why this movie cost so much money to make, endless car crashes with fancy cars and explosions when cars have no right to explode. Does Michael Bay own a car dealership?
There's not really anything about this movie that makes it different. It's a big, loud action movie with lots of shaky cam and occasionally amusing one liners. I didn't feel any real tension and most of the characters weren't really likeable to me. But it was entertaining enough to kill a bit of time.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
The less said about this sequel the better
The characters were so unlikeable I was happy when Leatherface killed them. I don't think the writer or director understand what constitutes tension or terror. This is one movie franchise where nothing beats the original.
The Courier (2019)
Hoped for a decent B-grade action movie, was left disappointed
I wasn't expecting a fantastic movie but boy this was bad, and I've seen some bad movies. The acting was super bad, even from the better known actors. The editing was like it was cut away 1 second too early as you would only just get a quick look at an actors change of face. Cars get shot 400 times and they have 27 bullet holes. The list goes one.
Yellowstone (2018)
The Sopranos but with Horses and Beautiful Scenery
Wow, I was not expecting this show to be this good. Here I was thinking it was a drama show about horse ranches like Dallas, instead I got a great show with many plot twists and great performances especially Kevin Costner
Artemis Fowl (2020)
If you love the books you'll probably hate the movie
Like Ready Player One, the movie has been changed so much from the books it's unrecognisable to anyone who has read the books, but unlike Ready Player One, this movie is not good.
Without even judging the movie on the changes made from the book, it is just badly made and I expected a lot more form someone like Kenneth Branagh. Judi Dench looks like she doesn't even know why she is there or what she is saying. The only actor that put in a decent performance was the one playing Holly Short. The other performances are average at best, with some being a bit over the top and distracting. There was one moment at the end of the film where Colin Farrell seems to changes seats in the helicopter 3 or 4 different times, which to me is a cardinal sin when you are making a big blockbuster movie costing millions of dollars. The worst part of all is that the author Eoin Colfer actually was happy with the movie and had some say in it even though it barely resembles his books. Disney is really scraping the bottom of the barrel to bring out new content for their streaming service.
I don't even know where to start with the stupid changes from the book that just cause distractions....
A 12 year old criminal mastermind who only ever wears a suit becomes a 12 year old whining boy who likes to surf
A highly trained bodyguard who never reveals his real name unless he is dying as that is part of his training, has everyone call him by his real name, and cries a lot
The bodyguards 18 year sister who has been through the same training as him, becomes his 12 year old niece who runs around screaming in terror the whole time even though she is trained in all sorts of martial arts
Commander Root changes from a grumpy old man who doesn't think a female elf should be part of LEP-Recon to a caring grumpy old woman
Holly Short becomes a over-emotional teenage fairy
And that's just the main ones I can remember in my state of disbelief at the badness of this film
The Wrong Missy (2020)
Great stupid fun movie with no filter, perfect for the non-pc crowd
If you don't mind offensive tasteless humour then you will love this movie. David Spade plays his usual David Spade character, as do most of the supporting cast, but this is really Lauren Lapkus's movie. She shines as "The Wrong MIssy" and seems to have been given carte-blanche to just let everything fly out of her mouth, and I loved it. Definitely funnier then most of the other rom-com's I have seen in the past 18 months, and definiately funnier then I was expecting of a David Spade movie
Becky (2020)
First half is a slow burn, second half is slam bam
I saw a few early reviews suggesting this was an adult action version of Home Alone, they were all full of crap. The movie is a bit slow at the start before it gets interesting. When there are action scenes they are quite well done (and graphic). Kevin James actually acts well but since everyone has only seen him in comedies and he specialises in dead-pan comedy with no emotion his dramatic acting feels like he is going to do something stupid at some point. The young girl that plays Becky is good, but not as amazing as other reviewers want you to believe. It's a good 90 minute thriller movie but nothing to get too excited about.
Jexi (2019)
Phone Sex will never be the same
One of the funniest comedies I saw in 2019. The subject matter was very relevant and at times touched a little too close to home. I read some complaints about the swearing and the humour being a little crude and childish but that's what comedy used to be before the pc crowd stopped people from having fun
Joker (2019)
Good looking movie and great acting doesn't make it a great movie
It's hard not to see the comparisons to Scorseses 70's movies and Joaquin Phoenix is outstanding as the Joker, but that can't gloss over the fact the movie was fairly boring and tedious. I also felt like we were meant to feel sympathy for this killer because he has some sort of mental illness. And the Joker looks like he is in his late 30's so in theory when Batman starts to fight him he must be in his 50's.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
Girl Power to the Max!!
When this movie finished I felt like jumping in the air and shouting "Girl Power". the few male characters there are, are either bad guys or idiots. I understand that it's a girl power movie but this movie took the premise over the top. The direction was a bit haphazard and if the point was not to see the women as mere sex objects then they failed by having them strut like runway models everytime they moved. Kristin Stewart was surprisingly good though.