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Absolute Zero (2006 TV Movie)
It's cold in Miami, eh.
19 November 2011
I can't tell you how amusing it was to see downtown Vancouver being passed off as Miami, Florida. As Fred Ewanuick (of "Corner Gas" fame) put it: "This place is starting to look like Canada." To be honest, there were too many ridiculous errors to count. Obviously, this "film" was slapped together with a minimum of funding, even less background research, and NO talent. Hard to imagine what they were thinking when they put this grotesque farce on celluloid.

Of course, the stock news footage of winter in Canada was a big help; No need for special effects there.

The background paintings on the sound stages were positively amateurish, looking for all the world like something you might see on the wall of a Days Inn motel room.

Bad acting, bad plot, bad special effects... Well, this movie is just plain bad.

I think that this cinematique train wreck is aptly dubbed a disaster movie, coz it sure as heck is one big disaster.

Besides, Miami could never freeze over because of all the hot air generated by the Cubans.

'Nuff said...
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Justine (1967)
Drive in movie fare
5 May 2009
If this is the film I am thinking of, I believe I saw it in the late 60's at a drive in movie in Florida that specialized in "nudie" movies for the Saturday night make-out crowd. Other than some mediocre nude shots of the "star," this film had, as I recall, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and, to make matters worse, was filmed in Puerto Rico. There was no worthwhile plot, no talent, and no sense to be made of it, but, for the most part, when you were at the drive in with your date, you weren't watching the movie anyway...

The fact that it is "presumed lost" is certainly no tragedy, to be sure.
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Give me a break
8 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Although I could sum this pathetic episode of Night gallery in two words, those two words being "horse manure," I am obligated to write a minimum of ten lines. This is a very sophomoric episode, not worthy of the standards of Rod Serling, but rather an inept attempt at some sort of ironic black comedy. The premise of giant rodents inhabiting the moon, a lifeless orb to be sure, is totally ridiculous, as is the construction of a giant mousetrap. I suppose we are to also assume that the moon is made of green cheese and that is how these absurd creatures survive. I can only assume that this episode was presented as a filler to supplant the other two episodes first aired on that date. All in all, a waste of film, actors and air time.
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The Postman (1997)
Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeze...
22 September 2006
I had an exceptionally hard time accepting the fact that ANY postal employee would ever give a s*** if someone got their mail. Fun to watch if you're stoned, though. I'm reminded of a cartoon I saw in a magazine where Costner is on the phone telling some Hollywood producer that he has an idea for another film; The caption was: "Kevin Costner phones in a bomb threat." I mean, c'mon people. What a ridiculous premise. Don't waste your time with this cornucopia of bad acting and totally implausible plot, unless you want to light up a nice big fat J and have a good laugh. I do have to admit, however, that the scenery was quite beautiful. Kudos to whomever chose the filming locations. Other than that, I say: "Return to Sender."
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Poignant irony
26 June 2006
I first viewed this episode of The United States Steel Hour at the age of 14. I had previously read Daniel Keyes' original short story "Flowers For Algernon," and was quite moved, even at that age, by the ironic tragedy which befell the main character, Charlie Gordon. With that in mind, I was quite enthralled as the teleplay unfolded and I realized that it was, in fact, "Flowers..." While I don't recall after nearly 50 years all the production values of this TV drama, I DO recall the impact that it had upon me; It brought home a visualization of a powerful and tragic story that haunts me to this day: That of an unwitting soul who is borne to the heights, then cast back to the depths through no fault of his own. This episode would truly be a prime candidate for release on VHS or DVD.
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Curling!!!???
29 January 2006
Good Lord! A movie about curling? Please, give me a break; That's right up there with shuffleboard. Speaking of bored, whoever thought up this idea had way too much time on their hands. What's next? A fine cinematic epic about throwing the caber? I am very surprised at Leslie Nielsen for appearing in a film of this genre, but I can only assume that he owed someone in Canada a favor. Obviously, this film is going to generate very little interest "south of the border;" Heck, it doesn't even make it as "desperation" viewing at 3:00 A.M. when all the info-mercials are on. My recommendation would be to just keep looking when you encounter "Men With Brooms," unless you happen to have a morbid fascination with obscure sports.
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