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Velrik
Reviews
The Rookie: Trouble in Paradise (2024)
Why do they keep doing this?
Rookie is one of my favourite cop comedies as a long time Nathan Fillion fan. However every now and then they insist on this absolutely terrible gimmick of turning it into some kind of indie film fiasco - making it seem like the show is filmed from the actor's perspective with phone cameras or drones or documentary style interviews. It's easily the worst method to film an episode centered series like this and makes it almost as bad as the terrible spin-off that was cancelled after just one season.
The other half of the episode was typical banter, comedy and story of the show progressing, from advancing Lucy's side to dealing with the awkward events of last week. But dear god they need to stop with the bad camera perspectives.
The Rookie: The List (2023)
It's the Rookie so yay... But...
I do love the Rookie, Nolan is been a great comedic act from the get go and the story has always been fun. You can watch the rookie and just turn your brain off to a Nathan Fillion show that does the procedural thing a bit different.
After a couple weeks of being on break, the rookie has returned to tell us what happens when Chen and Tim finally do their date. As well as how Nolan's rookie is getting along with Tim's gopher. We even get some new. Even gives us some fun insight into Lopez and Westley.
Then they decided to tank the entire quality of what could have been a solid "cop caught in a bank robbery" by interjecting Simone Clark from the rookie: feds into the whole equation. They are doing their utmost to make that show "work" and it just doesn't. As the other review points out, having the conclusion of this week's episode take place on the feds gives me the blessing of not actually caring if I missed out on it.
I can only hope Feds gets cancelled so I don't have to watch the train wreck of terrible characters on that show interfere with the guilty pleasure of the Rookie.
The Rookie: Feds (2022)
Not likeable not well written
This spin-off never should have happened, it managed to take a charming one off story from the original show and turn it into an entire series of "how much can we dislike every single character introduced from that story".
Simone is not only loud and obnoxious, she's disrespectful and selfish with a massive ego and very few redeeming qualities except her "empathy" that is so poorly pushed to the screen all it does is fall back on "I used to be a counselor so I know everything about everything to do with profiling".
Garza is a *literal* cookie cutter representation of "the captain of the team that also has a health problem that can only be fixed by eating healthy". Dude is literally the definition of "generic character" that is so lazily written that it's obvious no thought was put into him as a character (he even has the multiple divorces backstory).
Laura is moved from an intelligent profiler to a nervous wreck of a human being with zero mature coping methods that is (probably) on the spectrum but not even remotely represented properly for it. They tried to humanize her with her backstory and it just made her someone you pity because no one could be that dense.
Brendon is the only character that has any redeeming personality traits but his character is *also* some generic copy/paste trope of "this guy used to be an actor so he knows everything about everything because he once had a role in a show/movie/something where he totally had to research how to disarm a bomb upside down under water so he knows exactly how to do that in the 'real world' and also he has a bomb guy cuz that's who taught him".
Every single character is generic and poorly showcased with no personality aside from being as cliche as humanly possible. The only redeeming quality the entire show has is that it guest stars Rookie Characters regularly.
Halloween (2007)
Worst One Yet
Rob Zombie shocked the 'horror' genre with house of 1000 corpses. A movie entirely based on TnA and a poor rip off of some kind of Wrong Turn meets Hills have Eyes. It was one of the worst acts he could have done, though of course, ever set as most people who shouldn't direct are, he proved this wrong with the shoot em up outlaw thriller of devil's rejects. Wasn't just a reject of the devil, but of the box office and audience as well.
Then he turned around and decided he had to remake what was one of his favorites as a young man. Halloween. One of the original horror movies, the milestone in horror. It reared its magnificent head with Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elmstreet, and Hellraiser. Originals in the Horror industry and superb at what they did in the time they did them.
This remake adds an hour of film at the start to try and explain what was done in flashbacks in the second and third movies. It tosses in more profanity then is even remotely necessary. Its like Zombie decided he wanted to see how often he could fit the 'F' word into a film and get away with it.
Moreso, the pointless opening hour barely even set the stage for the line of disappointments. The kid who in the original is seen standing over his mother's body in a clown costume, instead is a deranged little child who tortures rats and kills his step father, sister, sister's boyfriend, but -not- his mother. No, that he leaves for her to suicide over.
That was the first disappointment of the movie (second if you count the abundance of unnecessary language, and third if you count the useless lead up).
They break storyline a dozen times or more, as though the characters mean nothing. The only surviver of importance being Laurie. This of course includes the death of Myers, who is like an android as he gets shot, stabbed, and butchered continuously without any effect.
They kill off key characters who shouldn't have been touched until the sequel, or later. Even wrapping it up in one movie, doesn't account for the damages Zombie did in killing off lead roles like they meant nothing.
This movie gets a 1 out of 10 in my books. The only reason I'm ranking it as a 2, is because my friend who I saw it with, actually jumped because Myers came from a different angle then anticipated.
Being there with two women and one other guy, the other guy who is a paranoid asthma sufferer, was the only one that even flinched.
This was a failure in activity, and I hope Zombie retires from film making after this one. I'm getting very bored of being dragged to wastes of time and film.