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Profile (I) (2018)
6/10
Eh..
15 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I've always had a mixed opinion on desktop films, I think if done well, can work brilliantly, and others not so much. This is one of those not so much type films.

Firstly the plot as a whole was quite silly and some may even say a bit stupid. For what should've been a very serious film had many plot holes which made the film often unbelievable. A journalist (who was racist earlier about a co-worker from the same country!) begins to absolutely fall head over heels for this terrorist after he shows her his gun and some trash flirt talk. Other than her almost blowing her cover a million times, as a journalist, she should've been aware of the insanity of ISIS already before doing her research, yet still was convinced that this terrorist could change her life for the better. She's stupid enough to lose her boyfriend after posting about the terrorist on her own personal Facebook account, and I did not feel the connection between either character at all. It felt like she was just talking into a screen knowing she's being recorded and trying not to laugh like her friends are behind the screen making silly faces. The acting was also irritating from pretty much all characters, and they all felt like they were talking to a brick wall trying to act (and I'm British so that's saying something).

I will give that it's an interesting (and terrifying!) concept based on a true story which I did research after, but I felt like the film was trying too hard to make it something it's not, once again making it laughable at some points. The final video message at the end was the highlight bit though, and even made me feel scared for the character (the only time the film engaged me).

Ultimately, it was a decent concept, but they couldn't maintain it and engage me in enough since it seemed like they were trying too hard. 5.5/10.
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Good Burger 2 (2023)
8/10
For the Fans
23 November 2023
The best way to describe this film is definitely "for the fans".

Chances are 26 years after the first film, that most of the audience will be older now, but it's chance to relive nostalgia for those, and make them feel like children again. It still contains lots of silly jokes. In my opinion, it's not as good as the first, but considering how low my hopes were for this film since the actors are older, also using a different director, I was pleasantly surprised.

Lots of surprise collaborations such as Yung Gravy, Kai Cenat, Mark Cuban, Pete Davidson etc which made the film feel like a fever dream at some points.

The film does seem to follow a similar plot to the last one, but still retains that "stupid" humor while managing to be somewhat new.

If you're thinking of watching this film without watching the other, don't bother. Watch the first film, then this or you probably won't get it. This film is not to stand out or make any marks, it's simply for the fans.
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8/10
As a fan of the books, I wasn't disappointed!
21 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I had heard many mixed reviews about this film, but since I am a fan of the series, and reading the book when it came out, I decided to give it a shot and I was not disappointed.

The film is very faithful to the book, although the first part felt a bit off the side to me, I thought the film as a whole flowed well. The acting felt rather irritating at first, but I got used to it within the first part. Another con I found was that I also thought it would've worked better if it was a TV Series. There would've been more of an opportunity to actually go into depth about each character, because it didn't feel like we actually bonded with any of the characters, apart from Sejanus but even then in the end he turned about to be a bit of a jerk.

Although I found it enjoyable, definitely too violent for a 12A, but the screenplay was entertaining, the cinematography was good. Worth a watch if you're a longtime fan.
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Squid Game (2021– )
7/10
Overhyped as hell, but still a decent watch.
1 October 2023
Squid Game was definitely the most famous show of 2021, and I am a bit late to the party by a couple of years, but god damn this show is violent.

First of all, it's definitely overhyped. I watched all episodes and was like "ok that's cool, but not what people make it out to be". Granted it is good for a Korean show (I had Korean audio and English subtitles) especially a Netflix show, but I was more invested in the storyline outside of the games than the actual games themselves.

I found it unnecessarily violent, just people rapidly and violently stabbing others (especially the lights out scene like god damn) and the blood was a bit over the top.

The games themselves were entertaining enough but like I said I actually found the storyline more interesting, and only really liked the episodes from episode 6, the first weren't great to me.

I'm not trying to sound controversial but I didn't mind the VIP acting as much as other people hate it, I did find it irritating but didn't really mind it and I just felt it was part of the story. I did feel the show was great at making you side with characters, I really started to hate the guy with the dragon tattoo and then he died and I was literally cheering.

Overall: overhyped, those weary of blood and violence should definitely avoid. I'll probably watch season 2, only because I'm invested in the storyline.
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Fractured (I) (2019)
8/10
Great film, but the ending killed it for me.
19 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
What a great film. The storyline was great, cinematography was perfect and so was the acting. I spent the most part of the film really enjoying it! As a fan of psychological films I thought this was great, and it's an enjoyable watch. However the last 5 minutes is what killed it for me. The police people start gaslighting him into thinking he killed his daughter and wife (which there is no clear evidence to suggest it) when he starts to believe them, until he locks them in a room and drives to the hospital. I thought the bit where he picked them up from the surgery room was decent and drove them, but we find out that the whole time, they're actually dead and he had gone mad after accidentally killing his daughter and wife!

Great film as long as you don't mind the poorly thought of plot twist at the end.
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3/10
Huh..
18 September 2023
The sequel to Birdbox wasn't asked for but it's here which is not really cool. The original film was a 7/10 for me. Gave decent enough storyline and was alright, nothing special but a good watch.

This film was painful to watch, as in, it was about some man who had gone deranged and kept betraying people because his dead daughters ghost told him to?

It felt longer than the first yet it was shorter, simply because it was dull. It had the same premise as the first film yet they somehow made it worse by adding underdeveloped characters that just died, leading us to hate the main antagonist of the film.

There was also a lot of gore for a 15 film. Probably the worst I've seen in a 15 film ever, to the point that it felt unnecessary.

If you want to watch this film, don't. There's better films than this. It felt slow, no good characters to root for and similar to the last one.
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The Oldest View (2023– )
10/10
An incredible Suspenseful, Liminal Space series.
9 September 2023
At the time of writing this review, there are 3 episodes of The Oldest View. This will be updated as more episodes get added.

First episode: This is a great starter, doesn't give much away but gives plenty to work with. The cinematography and colour scheme are incredible, with the contrast of the greyer colours and green colours creating lots of questions, which is also hard to pull off, so props to Kane. The rest of the video is simply a panning out of someone making some sort of mask out of cardboard. Leaving us with many questions, and somewhat suspense as to where Kane will lead with this next.

Second Episode: This one is (in my opinion) a lot more exciting and gives us the biggest hints so far in the series. We're introduced to Wyatt, a vlogger who found something he shouldn't have found. A hole in the ground, but steps that lead down and down and down? The CGI here is impeccable, I literally couldn't tell it was until I read a comment later. He goes down and down the steps where it gets darker and darker, the steps also become more worn and chipped, creating suspense as to what this staircase was used by. He also says how the area should be flooded due to recent raining, yet the steps are bone dry, almost a sign of paranormal activity. He then reaches a door, in which I prepared for a Jumpscare, yet there was none, and instead an empty mall playing music, to where the video ends. The suspense throughout is immaculate and I really vibe with it.

Third Episode: This is by far the best episode now. The suspense that Kane keeps throughout this is unreal along with the setting itself. The models are creepy and by far one of, if not the best production I have ever seen in a YouTube video. The tensions keeps you on the end of your seat throughout the whole video, especially the monster which appears unable to do things, however changes, almost as if trolling Kane. The storyline is great and each moment kept my heart racing. I felt that this episode was perfectly crafted as well as an unreal plot twist, which moved my rating up from a 9 to a 10. He's by far one of the best upcoming directors of this generation and I can't wait to see what else he has in store.

(Edit:) I've noticed a negative review stating that Kane paid me to put this review up?? This is completely untrue, and I just highly enjoy the series and been interested in Kane's work for a long time. I doubt Kane even knows I exist. I also wouldn't take any advice from them considering they have 2 reviews and both being negative. Also, this isn't meant to be a high production value film, it's meant to be a single person project which he makes off of donations. Anyway yeah that's my edit of this review. (I hope Kane makes a part 4!!!)
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The Way (I) (2010)
10/10
Can't stop thinking about how perfectly crafted this movie is
15 August 2023
The Way is a film that has managed to capture me in its trap. Upon first time viewing this film, I would've thought nothing of it, but upon rewatching it twice every year, it stays further in my mind each time.

The Camino De Santiago can be a very sensitive topic for some people however I feel the director Emilio Estevez was very careful upon making this film yet captured the whole feeling of the Camino in a perfect way.

The different ways that Thomas Avery (played by Martin Sheen) met the different characters along the way is, although some would say "generic", still applaudable. Each character suffers from their own independent issues, similar to the real Camino.

The story itself and characters are beautifully written by the director himself, cleverly crafted and put together.

For me the best bit would have to be the turning point of the film where Tom starts to bond with the rest in a montage-like scene, the first sign of true happiness from him in the film.

You would only truly understand this film if you are passionate about the Camino.

Beautiful film. 10/10.
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Little Nightmares II (2021 Video Game)
10/10
Simply astonishing.
13 August 2023
What an incredible game all round, there are so many great things to talk about in this game.

The graphics are unmatched, especially at certain parts which are screenshot-worthy moments, yet even with the high performance graphics, devices still run perfectly fine.

The gameplay can be pretty frustrating at parts with a few moments of glitchy hitboxes, but once you get past these moments, the rest is fine.

The storyline as well is amazing, the transitions from the woods to the school to the hospital and then the city is amazing, with the gameplay really flowing throughout it. Each moment is exhilarating with different monsters or puzzles to solve.

The music itself is incredible and really carries the game throughout, Tobias Lilja doing an incredible job with it.

The ending as well is unmatched to any other game I've ever met. It's so breathtaking and if you look it up you will see many streamers and YouTubers genuinely cry because of it.

Overall. 10/10. My favourite game of all time and a completely unique horror game which is unmatched.
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3/10
Disappointing, and what is the point of the rabbit?!?
12 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
What a disappointing film. What could've been a great film turned out shabby from a lack of story, editing and leaving unanswered questions!

The film starts off great, with the opening giving us plenty of directions as to where this could go, until the half way point throughout the film. At this point it just goes in a loop. Mother goes to see grandmother, goes back home, struggles to find Mia, somehow hurts Mia, goes to sleep, mother goes to see grandmother etc. The film keeps this going right until the end which gave us a plot twist that everyone probably saw coming. The editing is in 5 minute segments, in which I mean that one scene is 5 minutes in length, then cuts forward to the next scene without going into detail about the past scene. It feels like the team had many different ideas and they all wanted a share of them in, yet they revolve around the same plot.

Can I just say the hallucinations are rather dumb as well? One moment when Sarah gets jumped by Alice from a closet, yet it turns out that it didn't actually happen and was just her hallucinating, which felt like a cheap shot of a bit of horror. The film also leaves us with many unanswered questions, such as what actually happened at the end? Did Mia die? Was Sarah imagining it? Did Pete do something for Pete's sake?? And also how does the Rabbit tie into any of this. I get that Mia wore a Rabbit mask and she had a rabbit but apart from the first 15 minutes of the film it's totally forgotten about. What did the rabbit have to tie in with at the end either? I get Mia went to go for her rabbit but it was so unnecessary and the directors were like "oh wait I forgot about the rabbit, uhh just throw it in a couple shots." I get how some people might like this film, but it just felt slow and drawn out with no actual ending really to me.
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