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Alone in the Dark (2008 Video Game)
6/10
Its end episodes ruin everything great that goes before them.
30 November 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As a PS3 owner, I was at first frustrated when the game wasn't released on my console, then quite impressed when I found out I'd be getting a version that fixes the problems that all the reviews pointed out.

The game is good. It could've been great, had it not been for the last episodes, where the tension and innovation the game has gives way to utter tedium, but sadly this tedium unravels its success.

I really enjoyed many things about this game; the inventory system does something I've been waiting for for years - accurately reflects what a character can actually carry! Much as I hold Deus Ex on a pedestal as one of the greatest games of all time, it annoys me that you somehow managed to conceal a GEP gun in your leather coat...

I also liked the healing aspect, though it annoyed me that Edward Carnby's leather jacket also healed.

The combat is the game's true success - centred around fire, this is a brilliant game which allows you to come up with many ways of killing your zombies. The only true way to get rid of them is setting them alight, but whether you do this by knocking them out and dragging them into a fire, or shooting them with explosive bullets, or using an aerosol can and lighter, Molotov cocktail, or smacking them with a chair/bat/broom/axe you've set on fire is up to you - and it's very enjoyable. There are also several boss battles - which while they can be incredibly difficult, are exciting and tense pieces of gameplay.

The acting is fairly acceptable - Sarah's voice-over often ranges from out-of-context to just terrible acting, but other than that it's pretty good. The script does use "fuck" far too much though - I suspect it may have been written by someone not native to either a) New York or b) English as a language.

The graphics are also quite good. Not on Uncharted levels of beauty, but they're very cool. The stage design is also amazing at times - though it will last you a mere ten seconds of gameplay, there is a point where you have to climb up the floor of a bathroom that is hanging off a cliff 90 degrees from its usual place.

And the game's puzzles range from obvious, to easy, to really challenging - so it's a great range of skills needed, and makes for a much more realistic gameplay.

All these good things, however, are entirely undone by the games end stages. I'm not complaining about an unhappy ending - it's entirely appropriate to the mood of the game - but mostly, the INCREDIBLE frustration one feels having to run around Central Park for five hours burning roots. I don't like to exaggerate, but it ruins everything that goes before it, and I refuse to use the games skip-to-the-next-sequence mechanism (though I do think it's nifty...) The ending is also rather rushed, and it feels disconnected from the rest of the game.

It's a real shame that this happens, because the game has some really amazing points in it. There are many more things I haven't mentioned - that you rarely actually know what to do in the game is in no way a bad thing - you're thrown into this mix with the characters, and have no idea what to do except react as you would in the same situations.

It's a smart game which does some really stupid things. It missed the mark by only so much, but when it missed it fell right into its own abyss.
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Lost: The Other 48 Days (2005)
Season 2, Episode 7
Utterly, Utterly Brilliant.
6 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I love Lost. It's not only of the greatest shows on TV at the moment, but it's also one of the best shows created. Any show which can have a character walk on screen and merely say "The Others are coming," leading you to veritably wet yourself, is awesome.

This is easily the best episode of the series so far. It's harrowing, Action-packed, dramatic and tense.

The opening is brilliant, fooling us into thinking we may merely be watching an ad for a holiday package, and (literally) dropping the tail section on us.

I believe the episode also succeeds in the way it doesn't contain any flashbacks (not that there's time, although I suppose the episode is really nothing more than one big flashback) and it lets us see more of the Others - and they are scary.

Brilliant Episode, can't wait to put it on my iPod.
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The Pool (2001)
10/10
So atrociously, awfully fantastic!
27 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
If someone sits down to watch The Pool expecting brilliant, award-winning performances, excellently crafted tension, superbly scary scenes and a breathtaking tour-de-force film overall, they are severely kidding themselves.

The Pool is astoundingly bad: poor acting; inane dialogue; predictable and uninspired death scenes - but it is awesome! This, ladies and gentlemen, is the absolute pinnacle, the epitome, the very definition of "so-bad-it's-good." The story is this: Students at an international school have finally graduated and are now on their way to the most kick-ass graduation party ever: they are breaking into an amazing swimming pool complex and spending the night there, getting drunk, getting wet and spreading around those hormones as much as possible. But slowly, one-by-one, they start dying. Who is this devious killer? And will anyone live to tell the tale? The reality is this: The Pool is little more than an excuse for beautiful Europeans, Australians and one American to show off their nubile bodies, and to try and get the producers a little bit of pocket money.

I doubt very highly whether the script-writer spoke fluent English. There is a scene when the girl-who-dies-before-the-credits is "investigating a strange noise which she thinks is her boyfriend" is calling out to him, and calls out: "Oliver! I'm getting pretty serious!" I turned to my sister (who was watching with me at the time) and laughingly said: "Oliver! I'm getting pretty serious, however I have not as yet attained the level of seriousness which allows me to say that I am definitely serious, so you still have a little lee-way!" The dialogue is shockingly bad ("Before or after you SLICED and DICED?!") the acting more-so, but the film is nothing but fun.

This is the film you watch with all your mates, getting drunk and taking bets on who will die in what order.

This is the film you watch when you have two hours to kill and can think of nothing else to do.

This is the film that gets the young pre-teenage boys excited because, YES - there are exposed breasts in it! It never holds its self up as quality film-making. I however, hold it up as quality-entertainment.

Please see it - but expect nothing from it. Even your lowest standards won't be met.

Ten heartfelt stars.
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Creep (I) (2004)
7/10
Decent - a fun movie, even if it's not the best.
5 December 2005
Gotta say, was looking forward to this one - I love Franka Potente and also horror films.

It looked like it wasn't going to get released any time too soon in Australia, so I bought it off eBay (only to look in a video store magazine and see that it's being released on the 22nd of December - a mere three weeks away.) and gave it a watch.

I was already prepared not to be scared too horribly, after reading many reviews, but I have to say, I found it highly enjoyable.

Kate (Potente) is between parties, heading to one where she hopes, among other things, to bed George Clooney. She goes down into the Underground and falls asleep.

Upon waking, she finds the place deserted, except of course for the mad killer who's now hunting her and the people she meets along the way.

Creep is by no means a masterpiece. It is a confused movie, never quite sure when to be scary or not - I know I saw many missed opportunities, not least of all when Kate first sees the titular being. The scene plays as follows: Kate is running through a series of tunnels, with only a torch to guide her. She settles down in one corner, and shuts the light off. Moments later, she turns it on and BAM the Creep is in her face.

The way the scene is played, the Creep stares straight down the camera, with no musical fanfare. It then cuts to a profile shot: the one we left when Kate shut off the light. While the scene is effective, it really only succeeds in making us feel uneasy, as opposed to scared that the Creep is here. Had they done what was obviously the original plan, and had it so that it was the same shot from torch off to torch on, only with the Creeps ghastly face there instead, the scene would have been a good pay off for the tension that had been building up for the entire first act.

However, that aside, the film is fast paced and easy to follow.

I've read many reviews that describe how the film 'descends' into a splatter and gore fest halfway through.

The first half of the film is Kate's world, her trying to get out of the subway, and the film is played as a tense mystery - very little gore (although don't get me wrong, there is still some) and plays as a psychological piece.

The second half, once the Creep is revealed, is a far more disgusting film, grimy, gory and gritty. This is because we have now entered the Creep's domain, and we are treated to his way of life, which, let's face it, ain't awfully nice.

Do a bit of reading and you'll inevitably come across a mention of the 'Surgery Scene'. All I can say is that yes, the scene is disturbing, mainly because it is played so calmly and soberly. It's horrible hearing Mandy's cries for help and her pleading, but there is no real onslaught of music or quick cut camera, and it makes it seem like it is more painful.

In the end, Creep is a movie that you watch, think about, then forget it in place of what you're having for dinner. That said, I liked it a lot and found it very enjoyable, with the exception of the surgery scene.

Definitely worth a look.

7/10
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Underworld (2003)
7/10
Fun. Not a terrific film, but most certainly a fun one.
2 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Underworld is an exercise in style, no more no less. Its plot is simple and is a train track to platforms of cool fight scenes, snazzy special effects and Gothic photography.

Kate Beckinsale is stunning as Selene, the vampire who finds herself caught between the fight to kill all werewolves but at the same time protect the one she loves.

Yes, the dialogue is very frequently quite hokey. Yes, the fight scenes go on a bit long. Yes, the story is very minimal.

But so what? If anyone goes into a film like Underworld expecting Oscar winning performances, an intricate story and hard hitting drama, then they need to find a bracing reality check.

Underworld is escapism. For two hours, you get to submerge yourself in a world of style and ultra-cool. You don;t worry about doing the dishes, paying the bills or replacing the light bulbs.

You sit back, shut off your brain and have fun.

For pure enjoyment, I give it 7/10
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6/10
Moria Kelly was wrong...
22 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Moria Kelly said in an interview that if you loved the TV show then you would love the prequel. I disagree quite vehemently.

I really really like Twin Peaks, the TV series. I'm not one of these fanatics who knows every word Ben Horne uttered in episode 1.3 or anything, but I really enjoy the show.

I really enjoy the show, mainly for its quirkiness. It's an oddball, funny and intriguing show, at times terrifying (altogther now: BOB) and often very engrossing. It had a light feel to it: the situations never got so bad that there wasn't time for a light quip or two.

FIRE WALK WITH ME fails to capture the same mood as the series, despite having the same characters.

Sheryl Lee is very good as Laura, the girl who is so cursed that she can only save herself by dying to escape the clutches of BOB and her abusive father, and she manages to convey Laura so well that we feel every punch she does.

The rest of the cast are a let-down. Moira Kelly, while good, just isn't the right replacement for Lara Flynn Boyle. The first half hour, involving Teresa Banks does nothing but delay the movie: it sheds no new light on the situation.

And the characters have become caricatures. Bobby is a pain, James is under utilised, as is Donna and Shelly and Norma are barely in it. Jacques is given too big a role and Dale Cooper is a completely different character: sullen and morose as opposed to the screwball Coop we know from the series.

When we finally get into the swing of things, the last days of Laura's life are dreadful to watch, because we know how it ends. Her death scene is brutal and disturbing, as is most of what leads up to it.

Ray Wise is terrifying as Leleand, Frank Silva less so than in the series, although he still manages to elicit a chill down my spine.

It's also quite irritating being back in Twin PEaks and only dealing with the characters we don;t care for. I miss Sheriff Truman, Lucy, Josie, Audrey and Pete. I miss the mystery of the series, and the oddball humour. Instead we have a washed out wasteland of confusing scenes and nightmarish imagery.

I would be giving this movie a generous 5, if it weren't for the beautiful scene of, after her death, Laura in the waiting room, as she discovers she's been accepted into the White Lodge and is being guided by the angels. It's still disturbing, seeing as she's dead now, but I found that scene tender and moving.

Other than that, it is a disappointment coming to it after such an excellent series.

6/10
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7/10
An absurd movie....although I liked it a lot
18 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Having seen and read the Rules of Attraction, I investigated Bret Easton Ellis a little further and found out that he wrote American Psycho (I was aware of the book's existence and also the film's, but I was unaware that he had written the piece) and I decided to see it for myself.

I have not read the book, so I may have missed something vital, but I certainly enjoyed what I saw.

Christian Bale is excellent. Indeed, he saves the movie; everyone else is decent, but play like back-up singers to Chirstian Bale's main show. The way he portrayed Patrick in such subtleties and quiet complexities perfectly compliments the character, and he certainly seems to have enjoyed playing the part.

American Psycho is actually a much more worthwhile film than the cheap trailer would have one suspect: the trailer plays as a cheap slasher flick, whereas the violence is almost second party to the satire of the 80's and yuppie way of life. Particulalrly memorable in my mind is the scene where Patrick is in the men's room and manages to goad the man in the next stall enough to stick his head over and demand "Do you mind?! I am trying to drugs here!" such is the chagrin of his disturbance.

The film is also vaguely comical (not least of all in the scene where Patrick entertains Paul in his apartment. All together now: "Hey Paul! AHHHHHHHH!") and is just light enough to keep the violence in equal balance.

Without this vaguely comical tone, which in turn adds the absurdity I spoke of, the violence would be exploitative. However, some of the film is quite disturbing, and I'd recommend that all conservatives stay clear of this.

However, certainly see it for Christian Bale's brilliant performance.

Avoid the incredibly lackluster sequel.

7/10
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Tart (2001)
1/10
An irredeemable, vile piece of trash.
17 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Basic structure of a story: Beginning, Middle, End.

Sometimes this structure is played with, and we get Memento or Irreversible and the story plays backwards. Sometimes it's just not linear, a la Pulp Fiction. Regardless, they all have a beginning, middle and end.

This is the first film I have ever seen that doesn't have an end.

Beginning: Girl's best friend is expelled.

Middle: Girl needs to cope without best friend.

End: Non existent.

Not that having an end would've saved this film, but at least it would have been complete.

It's an exercise in apathy; we get a party-mix of characters, and they all turn out to be duds. Boring, vain, vapid and pallid imitations of people.

And here's the action within this film: NOTHING HAPPENS. Nothing at all happens. Mischa Barton tries to talk with a plummy English accent, Dominique Swain whines a lot and Brad Renfro receives a blow job from some old guy. End of movie.

By the time the credits rolled, I had a horrible feeling that many prisoners must feel: periods of time, those precious minutes of our life, have just been wasted.

The only passable point (and that is a very emphatic ONLY) is Brad Renfro. He acts well. Lacey Chabert I tend to like, but no luck here. Due to good work in other films, I will forgive Mischa Barton this travesty, but I hope all cast members were slapped in the face for their involvement.

Please, I implore you. Avoid. Don't fool yourself into thinking "I'll make up my own mind". My sister told me to never see this, and I ignored her, wanting to make up my own mind. That was a bad decision.

I have never hated a film. There are many I don't like, but I have never hated a film. Until I saw this.
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Bound (1996)
10/10
Quite possibly the greatest movie I have ever seen.
24 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Of all the films I've seen in my sixteen sweet years of existence, none have struck such a chord with me as Bound has.

I'd heard of it before in relation to the Wachowski Brothers, but also due to it being one of Christopher Meloni's first film roles. I searched high and low for it, and found it in my video store, much to my delight.

Gina Gershon is Corky. Corky has short hair and an attitude, with tattoos that are displayed marvellously by her Singlet tops, or covered by her leather jacket. Factor all these things in with the fact that it's a woman, and you come to one obvious conclusion: Corky is a lesbian. She doesn't do much to hide this fact, nor should she need to.

The film opens with a brilliantly filmed single-take of a closet. We descend down into it, passing the clothes on the racks to the shoes on the shelf, down to Corky's unconscious, bound and gagged body.

We then flash back to the beginning of the story.

Jennifer Tilly is Violet, the woman that Corky so generously holds the elevator door open for. She enters the elevator with Corky, closely followed by Joe Pantoliano, who is Caesar. Caesar is Violet's semi-mobster boyfriend. He works for the mob, but merely stands around watching the dirty work be down by the real mobsters.

Corky is moving into the apartment next door to Violet, renovating it as her first job on the outside. She has just served a five year prison sentence. The chemistry between Violet and Corky is instantaneous and electric.

As Violet leaves the elevator, Corky watches her walk down the hall, and it seems as though violet is walking in such a provocative way quite on purpose.

Before long, Violet has either seduced or been seduced by Corky, depending on how you look at it, and the two have an incredibly strong bond.

After being home when a man she has always liked is sadistically tortured and murdered in her bathroom by the mob (including Caesar), Violet decides she wants out of this life.

She goes to Corky with the proposition of stealing the (upwards of) 2 million dollars that the mob has obtained, and Caesar is keeping for safe keeping, all the time pinning the blame on someone else.

Christopher Meloni is Johnnie Marzonne, son of the mob boss, and rival of Caesar. Johnnie flirts endlessly with Violet, much to Caesar's chagrin, so he seems an obvious choice to pin the blame on.

Of course, such a brilliant plan must go wrong somehow, and the two women must deal with the kinks in their scheme.

' To tell you anymore would be to ruin the film, something I will never intentionally do. Needless to say, I loved this movie.

The plot is intricate and so very clever, and the acting is superb. Gina Gershon exudes copious amounts of sex appeal, while Jennifer Tilly is pitch perfect as Violet, the girl who's not anywhere near as ditzy as they thought.

Joe Pantoliano is also good, acting out the swings from ultra panic to blind rage with tremendous ability.

Christopher Meloni (who I find it hard to say a bad word about anyway) is also great as Johnnie: playing the half-wit son of the mob boss without making it a clichéd caricature.

The Wachowski Brothers pay a tremendous amount of attention to detail, and I wonder just how long they spent planning each shot of the film. It's a beautifully filmed piece of art.

Of course, the film relies heavily on the relationship between Corky and Violet, and I've heard a lot of ridicule form people despising the (rather explicit) lesbian sex scenes.

As a sixteen-year-old, I honestly can't complain about the sex scenes, but in all honesty: they are completely pivotal to the story. The film would not have worked the same way as if Violet had been attracted to a man, or vice versa.

As Bound finished, I found myself utterly and completely satisfied. An intricately woven, edge-of-your-seat thriller with lavish production design, and moments of genuine humour.

The only thing I can complain about is that the film has not made it onto DVD in Australia. But I will be buying it the second it does.

Utterly and completely 10 out of 10.

Rated R18+ for Medium Level Violence, Medium Level Sex Scenes.
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Once and Again (1999–2002)
9/10
Consistent and Great
30 January 2005
Once and Again is a pearl of a show. It's always interesting, and more importantly, realistic.

I started watching it as my sister had a crush on Shane West, but by the second episode I watched, I was hooked. Expecting it to be nothing more than a lightweight excuse for Shane West to act moody and broody, I found that instead it was a show where I saw that he actually can act, not to mention all his co-stars.

Easily the most impressive is Evan Rachel Wood, showing to me (before Thirteen was even an idea) that she had a tremendous amount of talent, I found her story lines to be compelling, and her to be exemplary in them. Indeed, it was this show that made me want to see Thirteen so much, so as I could see her performing again.

But I won't ramble.

Once and Again is brilliant, and if there was ever a show that should be continued, this is it.
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And the Oscar for this year's strangest film goes to...
20 October 2004
'It's All About Love' is a true oddity. It feels almost like someone recorded all the strange ideas that came into their head for a week, and chose a common topic, i.e. 'Love', and wrote a screenplay from their notes.

But that's not to say it's a bad movie.

In truth, I quite enjoyed it, although I came out of it feeling like I'd woken up from a dream, or possibly a nightmare.

It's quite unsettling.

The plot is both incredibly simple and incredibly complex:

John (Joaquin Phoenix) goes to New York to get a divorce from his famous figure skating wife, Elena (Claire Danes). While he's there, he notices that Elena seems to be in the middle of a vast conspiracy, and together they try to escape it, rediscovering their love at the same time.

The film is set in the near future, although it doesn't really need to be. I like the future in this film, because it's not radically different (except for flying Africans...go figure) but feels like twenty odd years from now. In the near future, people who are lonely or suffer a great loss will often drop dead. And the people of the near future merely walk over their bodies.

John and Elena are Polish, although they don't need to be. It adds certain poignancy, two foreigners not quite in place in a world that keeps putting them out of place.

Joaquin Phoenix and Claire Danes, while both very good (I think...it's hard to tell in a film as strange as this) could possibly have used some accent work. At times they speak with no accent at all, and it seems to distract.

On that note, I would like to point out how brilliant Claire Danes is. Ever since I saw Brokedown Palace, I have been astounded by her acting ability (although, that said, she doesn't do heart-wrenching crying very well). I won't spoil it, but under the circumstances of what happens to her character(s), she's incredible.

Also thrown into the mix is Sean Penn playing John's brother. I honestly couldn't see why he was in the movie, except maybe to oversee all the weather changes (think a far more subtle, low budget Day After Tomorrow with more meaning. For instance, it snows in New York in July, and there are days when all the fresh water freezes) I'm not saying it's a bad point, but another end that wasn't loose, but still needed tightening.

As I mentioned, the plot is incredibly complex. It twists a fair bit, until it seems to cut all things loose and start a new movie some twenty minutes before the ending. Still another way this movie unsettles me.

Visually, the film is stunning. It looks like a far more mainstream film than it obviously is. And while the film is beautiful, it still feels hard to watch, like there's something dreaded under the gloss.

If this reads as an ambiguous review, that's probably a good thing. I like this movie, quite a lot. But I also dislike it. It's easy to see why the DVD cost me $10.

I also like the fact that I own this movie before America even get an official release date. As an Australian, always open to release dates getting pushed back by three months, or movies being on DVD in America for about a year before we even get a theatrical release, this gives me a strange sense of superiority.

An incredibly strange movie and most certainly not everyone's cup of tea, I'll have to be careful of who I recommend this movie to. But see it yourself, as it's a movie that deserves an audience, just a very select one.

7/10
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Thirteen (2003)
10/10
Proof that the oscars are rigged...
8 May 2004
How did Holly Hunter not win that Oscar? Why weren't Evan Rachel Wood and Nikki Reed at least nominated, let alone winners?

I have seen many films in my time, and none have held such great performances as this, and few have spoken to the audience in such a powerful way.

Holly Hunter, who is always superb, outdid herself in the role of Mel, the caring mother who doesn't know when to put a tighter grip on her daughter, Tracy. Her performance is so touching, and so painful that you want to get inside her and show her what she needs to do.

Evan Rachel Wood is outstanding as Tracy, the young girl who so desperately wants to fit in, and will go to any lengths to get that. Wood is always good, but she too has outdone herself, and perfectly nailed the role of Tracy. Not once does she come across as a pretentious actress trying to act like a teen.

Nikki Reed, who was introduced by this film, delivers a performance that is worth the ticket fare alone. Evie is so manipulative, so seductive, and so real that you can't possibly blame Tracy for wanting to be like her.

Whoever it is who decides who gets the Oscars - wake up and realise that you need to award these to the performances, not the actors who wear the nicer dresses!

Thirteen is one of the more powerful pieces of cinema around. The camera probes right into the livers of our protagonists, denying anyone the joy if seeing this grim masterpiece from a safe distance. The soundtrack rocks along to the emotions of the characters. The performances create not only a good film, but a little disturbing slice of life.

Having seen Thirteen, I now understand why people label some films as important. this is certainly one of them.
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Taking Lives (2004)
7/10
Creepy, sinister and moody. But SE7EN it ain't...
15 April 2004
Despite my love of Angelina Jolie, I must say that Taking Lives wasted a lot of good opportunity.

Given that they invented an entirely new lead character, we can't really compare this to the book, so let's look at it as a movie of it's own right.

Jolie plays Illeana Scott, a somewhat strange FBI agent who is called up to Canada to investigate the grisly murders of several young men, all whom have had their identities stolen by the killer. New to the scene is witness James Costa, Ethan Hawke, who soon grows to have an attachment to Scott.

At turns formulaic and down right rip off (the credits are far too similar to be called a homage to SE7EN), Taking Lives is a very enjoyable piece of work.

Beautifully shot, the film wallows in its moods. It knows that it can be creepy, but it wears it out on its sleeves.

Angelina is on top form as Scott, although its a shame that the movie does stoop to the need for quick-sex-scene-with-unnecessary-titty-shot.

Ethan Hawke is bearable as Costa, although he and Jolie have very little chemistry.

Other players, Olivier Martinez, Gena Rowlands, Tcheky Karyo and Jean Hughes-Angalade are also quite good.

The film does have its highs: excellent cinematography, creepy sinister mood, two fantastic adrenaline-jump moments that I never saw coming. But it also has one FATAL flaw, and that is that anyone who has seen any piece of film or television before will be able to guess who the killer is. Still, a fun movie nevertheless.

7/10 If you get the chance to see it in the cinema, watch people's reactions to the 'scissors-scene'. I was amazed to see hoe genuinely horrified even the most hardened viewers in my cinema were.
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The Adventures of Tintin (1991–1992)
Tasmania, Australia
27 February 2004
This show came back on TV a few months ago, and I have been watching it religiously. I used to watch this show as a small child, and I loved it, but coming back to it after almost ten years (I was five when it was first on) of only reading the books, it is very disappointing. That's not to say that I don't love the show, though. But (if you can get your hands on these episodes) compare the Cigars of the Pharaoh episode to the Shooting Star episode -

Cigars of the Pharaoh - creepy, mysterious, surreal - like the book. The Shooting Star - sappy, obnoxious, boring - very much not like the book
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10/10
Well, let's face it...
9 February 2004
...good reviews of this film are as common as sheep in New Zealand, and I'm not one to disagree.

I once bought a magazine that came with a disc of trailers free. Bend it Like Beckham was one of these trailers, and I have to say, it didn't entice me to see it, but my darling sister decided that she wanted to, so off to the video store we went.

The plot is this - Jess, a girl who is very good with a football, is discovered by Jules, a tomboy who cares only for her football and nothing else, except maybe Joe, the coach of the team that she plays on, and wants Jess to join. It's the opportunity of a lifetime for Jess but she has two small problems - ONE: Her sister is getting married soon, and her family and her need to pay attention to the wedding etc. etc, and TWO: said family is a strict Indian family. Jules also has the problem that her mother wants her to be the demure girl who cares about nothing but how they look or who their latest snog was.

The fact that I was fairly apathetic about it just added to the delight I felt when I was watching it.

It's a great movie, one of those that you walk away from feeling light and refreshed, like "Amelie" or "Playing By Heart".

It's got its own quirky humour, that mainly shows itself through Jess's family dealing with her unorthodox hobby, but the highlight of the movie is Jules' mother, expertly played by Juliet Stevenson who also made me laugh as Mrs. Elton in "Emma".

If you haven't seen it, no matter what you feel about football (or soccer, whatever term you prefer) see this movie sometime soon. If you have, get it again, it has definitely got rewatchable value going for it.

In summary - good family movie, see A.S.A.P. 9/10
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Cube (1997)
6/10
Okay
23 April 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Cube - A group of people are trapped in a sick minded but brilliant prison of cubes, some are safe, others will lead to horrible painful deaths. The only clue are a series of numbers between the cubes.

Cube had a lot going for it; it had mystery, suspense, horror, thrills, good character building etc. etc. The ending was the biggest let down ever. (one of the characters turns out to be a bit insane and kills everyone, except for an autistic guy who ends up the only one to get out alive.)

The idea is good, and the scene in the sound activated room is nerve-wracking. The answers to the rooms are a bit complex, but the movie also has one problem - the story can't hold out for one and a half hours. It'd be good as a short or something, though.

So overall, about a 6/10 and in need of a better ending
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10/10
Very Different Johnny Whitworth
23 April 2003
My sister showed me this film and asked if I recognised AJ, and it turns out he is Patty from Hell's Kitchen - he looks very different.

But anyway, onto the movie -

Empire Records is a movie that i enjoyed thoroughly, with a wicked soundtrack and mostly good acting (although the Damn the Man phrase got really annoying by the end of it) It's also a movie that most people can relate to in someway. Good Movie 7/10
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Dr. No (1962)
8/10
One of the best
23 April 2003
It is an often held opinion that Sean Connery has been the best James Bond, and although I am inclined to disagree, this could be proof enough. Dr. No is my second favourite Bond film (beaten by a tie of Goldeneye and From Russia With Love)and it has good reason to be. Dr. No was more character oriented and had less of the trademark one-liners, and it gives a different feeling to it. Not to mention the acting is good, although we are missing Q, one of my favourite Characters.

Connery is great, as is Ursula Andress, and the plot is good (I've read the book, and the bit with the squid should have been put in the film)

Dr. No gets a rating of 8/10 from me.
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Chicago (2002)
9/10
Brilliant
14 February 2003
Warning: Spoilers
*Possible Spoilers*

I have always been a fan of musicals, such as Singin' In The Rain, My Fair Lady, Sound of Music etc. etc., but sadly this genre hasn't been picked up in modern movies. I was so glad to see that they were being revived again with Moulin Rouge (which, just for the record isn't anywhere near worth all the hype that it gets), and due to that, we get a remake of Chicago. What with it's great songs, fantastic performances and strong acting, this movie could still have been a movie without the musical numbers (nowhere near as good of course, but still could have pulled it off) because the songs enhance the storyline, but don't add anything to it.

Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is one half of a stage performance in a jazz club in 1920's Chicago, the other half being her sister, who she has shot after finding her sleeping with her (Velma's) husband. Roxie Hart (Renee Zelwegger) is a young hopeful, dreaming if a life on the stage, who shoots her lover after she finds out he has double-crossed her. Billy Flynn (Richard Gere) is a greedy, mildly arrogant lawyer who is representing both Velma and Roxie, and thus causing Velma and Roxie to become arch-rivals.

Also starring Queen Latifah as the sassy Mamma Morton, matron of the prison, and John C. Reilly as the neglected Aimus Hart, Roxie's husband, this movie overflows with style and grace and delivers an all around enjoyable movie. 10/10
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Idle Hands (1999)
Not Remotely Scary, But Still Totally Hilarious
14 February 2003
This isn't a movie that I would put on my top 50 list, but it's still good. Yet another movie that I have seen courtesy of my sister, and when she put it on, I started thinking that this was another of her teeny-bopper 80's movies, but I was proven considerably wrong.

I will actually give it credit and say that the opening credits are pretty freaky, despite the rest of the movie being tongue-in-cheek humour.

Anton (Devon Sawa) is a lazy layabout who doesn't go to school, and basically his day is consistent of getting stoned and watching TV. This life is turned upside down when he finds his parents dead, infact killed by his right hand - which has been possessed by the Devil (Idle Hands Are The Devil's Playground - hence the title), and after cutting it off, the hand continues to wreak havoc on his town.

Also starring Seth Green, Elden Henson and Jessica Alba, this is a terrific comedy that everyone should at least see, and possibly own. 7/10
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7/10
Disturbing at Times, But Really Good
12 February 2003
I, along with a large chunk of the male population of this world, believe that Angelina Jolie is one of the most beautiful creatures on this green Earth (or quite brown in some drought ridden places such as our backyard) and have since become a fan of her movies. One night in a family video renting, I walked up the aisles of the video store trying to find something that grabbed my attention. In the Thriller section, I found many copies of this movie, and I question the judgement of the staff, as this is quite clearly a drama, and a pretty good one. Fortunately, I did not rent it out that night, as my Father would have had kittens if he let me watch this (for the record, I personally think I should have waited until I was a bit older), so I waited until he wasn't the one paying for it, and I got it then.

Mekhi Phifer plays Jonny, a man who was involved in a robbery that went wrong, and as a result, an accomplice, Hayden is killed. Gloria (played -as usual- superbly by Angelina Jolie) was Hayden's sister, and confronts Jonny five years later after he gets out of jail, blaming him for the death of her brother. She asks her boyfriend, Patty, to kill Jonny, but for reasons that I shall not reveal, Patty knows that Jonny did not kill Hayden. Jonny settles back into Hell's Kitchen and trains to be a heavyweight champion.

Some of the scenes are a bit too long, some are a bit disturbing, some are a bit weird, and some of them have all these things mixed together.

But on the whole a good movie, but not one made for younger audiences. 8/10

p.s. I might not be a good judge of the pacing of this movie, because when I watched it, we had younger visitors, and they weren't allowed to watch it, so I had to keep stopping and starting it, which is a shocking way to watch a movie.
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The Prisoner of Zenda, Inc. (1996 TV Movie)
A touch on the cheesy side, but good for a rainy day.
4 February 2003
My sister used to have this obsession with Jonathan Jackson, so when she found out this movie was on, she taped it. I was bored one day, so I put it on and watched it, and it's not the greatest movie, but it's not the worst either.

Jonathan Jackson plays Rudy. a very rich child and head of a business that he inherited from his father after he died. When Rudy is kidnapped, a friend of his father's, Professor Wooley finds a boy named Oliver (Rudy's doppelganger) to run the buisness for him and lead Rudy's life.

Watch it if it comes on TV one day, but don't waste your time looking for it. 6/10
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10/10
Brilliant Experience
28 January 2003
I loved the "Fellowship Of The Ring" and I still do, but I think that "The Two Towers" was far and away better than the first. One of the better additions into this film was Gollum, who despite the fact that the audience is meant to hate him, was just cool. Miranda Otto did a good job of Eowyn, even though she was not in it for too long, and I liked that we saw more of Gimli.

"The Two Towers" offered more impactive and impressive scenes, such as the Black Gate Of Mordor, and the battle at Helm's Deep.

I strongly recommend you see this, but see the Fellowship first (if you haven't already) as there is no bit at the beginning to fill you in.

Great Movie, 10/10
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Hilarious Movie
27 January 2003
My sister bought this film sometime last year, and I sat down watching it expecting it to be a bit of a chick flick, and it may be so, but it is altogether a hilarious movie.

Amanda is a fairly down on her luck girl who has a tendency to get involved in doomed relationships. After she walks in on her boyfriend in bed with another woman, she moves out, and into an enormous flat with four supermodels (she gets a closet for a bedroom). From her new loungeroom windows, she can see across into the apartment of Jim Winston, a man that she is finding herself attracted to. One night, she thinks she sees Jim killing a girl, and she is set to go out on a date with him in four days. Thus begins the hilarity with Amanda launching a private investigation into him, aided by her roommates

I only had one problem with this movie, and that was Candi. I realise that they are deliberately making her an over the top Australian, but they take it a bit above and beyond.

On the whole, enjoyable fun for a night in. 7/10
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Reign of Fire (2002)
Good Movie
26 January 2003
I meant to see Reign of Fire at the movies, but instead rented it on DVD last night. I liked it. I have read other reviews and people have been saying that it was a waste of money to make and a bad movie. Given that it has an M rating (PG-13 in the US) they were limited in what they could do, but I still found it appealing and quite satisfactory. I do think that it's set too close in the future, but they made a realistic post holocaust movie.

The plot is basically this - A twelve year old boy named Quinn disturbed a dragon in a railway tunnel that his mother helped to construct. Twenty years later, after the dragons have spawned and reduced most of the earth to rubble, Quinn and a handful of survivors have taken refuge in a castle in Northumberland. They have a life of caution and hiding until Denton Van Zan, an impulsive militia leader and his troop of "Dragon Slayers" arrive. With the help of the Slayers, Quinn and his people finally have a chance to reclaim the earth.

I wouldn't say that this is the greatest movie ever, but it is quite enjoyable, if you don't mind a bit of violence from the dragons(but nothing traumatic).

Good Plot, Good Acting, Good Special Effects - 7 out of 10
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