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Reviews
Something Beneath (2007)
lame monster combined by even worse plot= one crappy movie
A ooze kills people by making hallucinations!? what was the director thinking! For one thing: most of the movie you can't tell whether or not they're hallucinating or in real life. also, The characters couldn't have been dumber. You think the entire cast dropped of school before they were ever allowed too. The priest guy (Kevin Sorbo) acts nothing like a priest. and who the hell is scared of zombies!? If you know they're fake, you shouldn't be scared of them. And the opening scene made no sense, the opening scene is meant to clarify what the main character is dealing with. From the opening scene, you'd think it's a gayer version of final destination! The only thing that could have made this movie even lamer is if the hotel was destroyed. Also, the whole movie was just one big plot line. Everyone had a plot line, if you were a dog, you got a plot line, if you were the director, you had a plot line, if you were a single finger, you had a plot line. Besides the ridiculous amount of plot lines, you have no idea what it is until you finally see the thing, and even then you have no clue what they're dealing with. Also, the climax is meant to be the highest point of interest, not something that makes less sense than the revelation. And the way the fanatic dude died was the most pathetic excuse for a death ever. Also, the priest guy made worse decisions than any person in a movie has ever made. And also, the falling action was absolutely pointless. You're better off watching sesame street than watching this movie. also, the deaths were more retarded than any death I've ever seen. Everyone said the loser guy died of asthma, he got sucked into the ground!If you're going to see this movie, it's no skin off my back. But if you want to take my advice, save your money. It's better if you're not even paying attention. Just jump into a pool and sing what a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong. At least that makes more sense than something beneath.
Dark Ride (2006)
A sad excuse for a movie
I love horror movies, I really do. But this film was pathetic. I can't believe it got into horror fest. It had no story. A few teenagers go in, almost everyone dies, that's it, that's the whole story right there. And also, it took thing's from real life and put it in a movie. The ending couldn't have been any dumber. I mean, This "Jonah" is the dumbest horror movie character I've ever seen. It has no moral, It has no plot, It's rising action is just killing and killing and killing. It almost makes you miserable the whole movie. When it's over, you don't feel like you learned anything, you don't feel like you enjoyed it, you don't feel relieved when it's over. I just wanna give the director, the crew, and all of the actors a few fists to the head.