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Twice Under (1989)
This one belongs to the sewers
Although I'm not of the same mind of those that declare that this is the worst movie ever made (we all have seen way worse than this), I do agree that this movie is really bad nevertheless. The amount of stupid things and situations per minute is countless. Specially the resolution of the movie which implicates the use of lots of boombaps (that our hero has for some reason displayed all around his bedroom) and a handful of fireworks; The acting, although not terrible, can come off as a bit forced and hammy. And the villain is too cartoonish to take him seriously. Also the pacing of the movie is one of its biggest flaws, as the action is never allowed to flow naturally and is constantly getting interrupted.
Still, I came here for my good portion of '80sness and I got served: From the clothes, the hairdos, the corny 80's music, the cheesiness (the dance of Rick from his girlfriend's car to his house is too harsh to handle, mind you. And it lasts for almost the whole song), so I won't complain. Final rating: 4 out of 10 (one extra point for the cool artwork). This one is hard to give it a pass, even by my standards, sorry.
Time Walker (1982)
good story, a non-scary monster and poor special effects
What can I do? I guess I must be a little masochistic because I can't help having a soft spot for movies like this: Movies that without being all that great and whose viewing can even be exasperating sometimes, they still manage to include some elements that surprise me for good. We are in 1982, the year of the masked psychopaths, and yet our main menace here is a visitant from the stars that dropped for a visit in the ancient Egypt of the pharaohs and ended up being buried in a sarcophagus only to be brought back to life thousands of years later and find out that his precious crystals have been stolen by some underpaid employee at the museum he was confined and now, unlike his cousin E. T., cannot phone home. Luckily for the viewer that's when the killings begin, right? Well, more or less, because unfortunately there are almost no killings, and which is more disappointing, zero blood and gore (there are boobs though, nothing to complain about here). Apparently this film was supposed to be a pilot for a tv show that sadly never got made (I'd love to see that and I really mean it), and that would explain the previously mentioned and the "to be continued" at the end. The staging looks great though, and the acting is superior to what you would expect in a horror b-movie like this: James Karen from "The Return of the Living Dead" is here. Also Darwin Joston from "Eraserhead". And the gorgeous Nina Axelrod, from the great "Motel Hell" shows up as well. All in all, I thought the storyline was cool and in the end it made it for a horrible but fun movie to watch. Oh! And the revelation of the alien is hilarious! That only was worth my 5-stars rating.
Space Rage (1985)
A great spaghetti sci-fi that will exceed your expectations
In the very first minutes the movie makes it clear for us that Michael Paré is not going to be our hero, as we witness how he executes in cold blood a few people in a bank robbery just for the fun of it. Because of that, he is sent to the desert of Californ... I mean, to prison in planet Centaury 3 to serve his life sentence. Then, for the sake of your typical action movie, there is a mutiny and prisioners escape and the only three wardens in the whole planet must stop them. Of course, being a B-Movie, you would expect cheap settings and a script full of holes, but on the other hand the acting is rather good (specially oscar-nominated Richard Farnsworth who is in this), and the action in the last third made it for me. There is a lot of violence and cool car chases and explosions, but the best for me was to watch an old guy like Richard Farnsworth taking the lead and becoming the action hero of the movie when you less expected it. Seriously, ignore those negative reviews and give this one a chance, you'll have a great time watching this (and it's only 74 minutes long, too)
The Wind (1986)
A real wind-up
Serioulsy, this movie had all the elements to become a really great movie - the mixture of slash and giallo movies, a beautiful location in Greece, good direction by Mastorakis and solid performances by Meg Foster and Wings Hauser, an amazing score by Hans Zimmer, etc... - and yet the final result is quite disappointing. I'm not a huge fan of gore and violent movies, but even I can see that this movie cries for more murders (c'mon! Only 3 people die in the whole movie? Are you serious?) and certainly much more gore (or should I say "any" gore, as right now I can't think of any blood scene in the movie at all as I'm writing this review). Also the pacing can be a bit slow sometimes, and there are some pointless scenes like that at the end with the stranded tourists that I really don't understand it's purpose (at first I thought they were there to become victims of the villain which didn't happen), so my guess is that scene was only there to fill in the running time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad movie at all, it is very well shot and has some moments of suspense that make it fun to watch. Just disappointing. And for us who collect vhs tapes its cool art cover make it a great adquisition, too.
Wired to Kill (1986)
Short Circuit meets The Road Warrior.
Recently, while digging for some old VHS tapes for my collection, I was absolutely riveted by this real cool art cover depicting a very handsome couple in some sort of post-apocalyptic civilization, and even though this is not a personal favorite genre of mine, I ended up taking this one home with me, believing I had just spend my budget for the day in a real big turkey. Well, not that big to my surprise. The real problem I found with this movie is that it can't make up its mind of what it is. On the one hand we're presented with this post-apocalyptic scenery with brutal gangs acting like animals, and people trying to survive, with our main guy named Steve (played by Merritt Butrick) who is a technology freak in seek of revenge for the brutal attack of a gang on her mother and grandma using all kind of gadgets, traps and a wheeled robot (that looks like a real cheap toy to be honest) and also with the help of his girlfriend Rebecca (played by a stunningly beautiful Emily Longstreth), but on the other hand we are shown this cute family living in a suburban house in a city with hospitals and supermarkets and police. Also the tone is quite confusing, as the movie seems to try to target a teenage audience, but then we have some gruesome violence and some blood scenes that can only aim at a more mature audience. The direction and editing is also a horror, specially towards the end, with characters that are transfered most the times to different locations in a blink of an eye without explanation, what makes its view a bit annoying. Some of the acting is real bad and over the top (as expected from a low-budgeted B-Movie like this), and overall the plot is rather silly. But on the positive side, I loved the main couple. Both Emily Longstreth and Merritt Butrick are in charge of carrying the weight of the movie on their backs and they do with great success in my opinion, although I don't think they were used to their full capacities unfortunately. Still there is a great chemistry between the two lovebirds and you really empathize with them. I also liked some of the sceneries and atmosphere, and I loved the main theme too, an electronic/synthwave tune that immediately takes you back to the 80s and puts you in the right mood to enjoy a movie like this. So to sum up and in conclusion, and if I have to be all fair in my review, then all things considered I don't think I should give it a pass, but then again there are far worse dystopian movies out there, and Booby Trap after all, although silly, is quite competent and fun, and I'm completely sure that if I had watched it when I was a kid I would have loved it, so all in all I'll rate it with a 5 out of 10, and all happy.
Scared Stiff (1987)
Hidden Little Gem from the 80's
This is my first review at IMDB. Never done it before, but after reading some of the negative reviews of this film I felt like I had to. I'll start by saying that I've just discovered this movie and it was much better than I expected. Real funny movie, a bit silly sometimes, but charming and imaginative and with all the elements that real 80s movie fans look for and appreciate. Yeah, the acting is not that good, and the special effects may look a bit dated, but that's part of its charming. I would put it in the same league as other movies (these ones superior, needless to say) like "The Gate" and/or more especifically "House", with which it shares some common elements from the plot (the mother and son entering different doors from their house that leads them to different locations with ghosts). Very recommended for 80s movie fans.