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3/10
Utter rubbish - avoid at all costs
20 November 2022
I have no idea how this movie can be so highly rated. It has one of the most lazily written plots I've seen in a long time. I don't want to put spoilers in the review, but trust me - it's really bad.

It has a whole town of grown men in the "wild west" acting like a bunch of scared 5-year olds and unable to defend themselves even when they are armed and must either shoot or be shot.

It has women who hate a man so much they try to stab him to death one second, only to be unable to resist sleeping with him in literally the next second.

The entire movie seems to be an attempt att destroying western movies by making the most ridiculous, unbelievable, unlikeable and unwatchable piece of BS. And apparently people fall for it, given the high ratings of this movie.
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5/10
Unbelievably overrated
10 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Something must be up with the reviews of this movie - are the paid by Amazon?! There is no way in hell that this movie deserves a rating of more than 6, and that's being generous.

The movie really is just people talking. Talking talking and more talking. People talking about things that bring absolutely nothing to the "story" (as if there even is a story here!). Then people running, walking or driving around in a very dark small town in more meaningless and very dark scenes. After running around in the dark there's more talking. Talking on the phone, talking on the radio, talking over each other.

The characters are not likeable either, very stereotypical small-town-in-the-50's. A hysterical girl and a know-it-all radio host guy. I'm not gonna give away the ending, but if you've ever watched anything remotely having to do with UFO's, you'll be yawning and wondering "is this all"? WTF? All that meaningless dialogue for hours and this is the ending?? I could've just watched an episode of X-files or whatever, big yawn and one and a half hours wasted.
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Lucid Dream (2017)
2/10
Worst movie I've seen in a long time...
8 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The story in itself is terrible and the editing makes it even worse.

Whoever wrote the story doesn't seem to have spent more than a minute on Google looking up what "lucid dreaming" is. In this movie, it somehow means hooking yourself up to a machine to relive your memories (oh, and other peoples too!). The only connection to actual lucid dreaming is the title of the movie.

And then there's the editing. Wow. Like that time a "scientist" casually mentions "that guy does shared dreaming", and then never bothers to explain what the hell she's talking about. And the main character doesn't ask either! Or that time they - for reasons not clear - find some "murder site" in the woods with a childs toy (but apparently no body?!).

Sure, it has a twist. One that you can smell coming from miles away, but by the time it's revealed you just don't care anymore because nothing in this movie makes sense.

I'm pretty sure all of the 8-10 star reviewers were either paid or this was the first movie they ever saw in their lives. There's simply no other explanation for those reviews. Trust me - you will regret wasting your time on this piece of s**t movie.
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Take Me (2017)
7/10
Oddly satisfying
14 September 2022
This one really came out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting much after reading the description and based on the average rating, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Let's get one thing straight - this movie is weird. I still don't know what I just watched. Was it a comedy? Was it a thriller? Was it a B movie? I have no idea, but it sure was entertaining. No need for a big Hollywood production, this movie really shows that a little goes a long way.

Oh, and it's refreshingly short too, compared to most movies today which seem to drag out the plot over 2 hours. This one could have been 10-15 minutes longer and I wouldn't have minded at all.
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4/10
Beyond stupid
3 September 2022
Not sure if people were more stupid in the 80's in general, or if it's just the people in this movie. Everything about these so called "soldiers" is ridiculous, unrealistic and so far from reality it might as well be a science fiction movie taking place in a parallell universe. Basically, they're all acting like drunks, fratboys, mental patients and/or 5-year olds.

Combine the stupid soldiers with some utterly stupidcrap like cajun-people with apparent superpowers who can knock over trees without making a sound, or dig out bodies from the mud, transport them hundreds of yards and hang them in a tree in a just a few minutes without even getting their clothes dirty.

Calling this a "classic masterpiece" is an insult to any movie ever made...
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The Revenant (I) (2015)
5/10
Unrealistic, predictable and boring
1 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Two times over the years I have tried to watch this movie, but I never made it more than half way through - and I almost never quit a movie.

Honestly, the raving reviews of thing is bonkers.

First, the story is incredibly unrealistic. These people carelessly jump in and out of icy water (sometimes for no apparent reason) in the middle of winter, getting their clothes soaked and never once have any problem with hypothermia. Just wait a few scenes and their thick fur clothes have magically become dry again for no apparent reason. It's as if it's written by someone who's lived their whole life in a warm climate and only seen snow, ice and winter in movies. Totally ridiculous, and this issue alone makes the movie unwatchable for me.

Next, the whole story is predictable from the first frame if you've ever seen any kind of western/revenge movie at all in your entire life. Again - it's as if the story was written by someone who's seen a few revenge westerns and decided to write their own by copy-and-paste. The whole thing is just one big Hollywood cliché.

Lastly, it's freaking boring. For some unknown reason, they decided to stretch out this unrealistic and predictable plot for almost 3 hours. Not saying it would be better even if it was shorter, but at least it would be less time wasted on this nonsense.

The only reason I'm giving it 5 stars is because I didn't watch the entire movie. Who knows, perhaps it picks up after 1:30 (when most sensible movies end)...
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5/10
Should have been titled Mad Max Salvation
3 June 2022
I was expecting a Terminator movie, but all I got was a rehash of Mad Max cliches. Not much about this movie is good - the acting in some scenes is laughable, the dialogue is copy-paste from various movies, the story is predictable and has been repeated in other movies many times, Christian Bale is trying to sound "macho" but ends up sounding like he's got tonsillitis, the only surprise about the "fighter pilot takes off her helmet and turns out to be a sexy female surprise scene" was that someone thought it was a good idea to include it...

I could go on and on, but the gist of it is that this entire movie is a cliché of various Mad Max and "terminator-ish" movies. Unless you've never seen a Mad Max movie, you can skip this one.
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5/10
Not too bad, until you start thinking about it
29 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I found this movie quite okay while watching it.

But near the end, I started thinking more critically about it. Here come the spoilers.

They are all very concerned about that one little girl who might be blown to pieces. Well, what about the rest of the people walking around on the street? When you start thinking about it, you realize it doesn't make sense at all. It takes 50 seconds for the missile to hit, and the target is right next to a kind of busy street near a market - but if only this one little girl would move out of the way, they won't care about anyone else walking by... typical Hollywood sentimentalism.

And then there's the usual "zoom and enhance" stupidity. From what I've read about military drones, the resolution is good - good enough to see a toddler walking on the street. However, in this movie, the resolution is so great that you can identify peoples faces. Oh wait, you don't even need to see their face - seeing one side of it is enough. No wait, you don't even need that - one ear is enough! Come on, is this a science fiction movie or a contemporary war movie?

Oh, and the drones. A tiny bug with battery and antennas capable of flying around for several minutes with extreme accuracy, and streaming HD video for a very long time (and somehow it keeps streaming after the pilot went away)... Again, come on. My DJI Mini 2 has a huge heavy battery, and still it lasts only for 20 minutes.
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Windfall (2022)
6/10
I'll stop reading reviews
26 March 2022
I remember a time when reviews on iMDb actually had useful things to say to make it easier to make a decision wether to watch a movie or not.

It seems those days are gone. Lately I've been watching 5-star-rated movies and enjoying them. The reviews of these low-mid-rated movies seem to often talk about trivial things like "I didn't know if it was a comedy or a thriller, I was so confused, this movie was really bad". Basically, I feel like the Netflix generation (if there is such a thing) is now on iMDb, and their movie expectations are based on growing up with Transformers and various superhero movies.

Yes, this movie was a slow burner. Yes, it had a "weird" vibe to it. So what? In my opinion, that's exactly what made it a good movie. It's not your typical action packed, fast paced, high budget robbery movie.

Was it good? Yes. And that's what matters.
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Black Crab (2022)
5/10
It's worth watching
20 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Don't trust the ADHD-attention-letter-combination-kids posting 1-star reviews saying "it's soooooooo slow". Jesus, just stick to your superhero movies then, you're safer there.

The movie is not great, but it actually had me captivated for the first 1.5 hours. Sure, you don't have a lot of information to go on about the reasons and actors of the war, but why do you need it? I think it actually makes the movie more interesting. It seems a lot of the reviewers expect/need all movies to explain every single detail so that nothing is left to the viewers imagination. There's a war, this team of random people who are good skaters need to bring two canisters to an island - that's all you really need to know. I'm sure you can figure out/imagine that the main character was some kind of ice skating pro or local adventurer with knowledge of the archipelago. You don't need to have it spelled out for you exactly down to the last detail. If you do - again, you're better off just sticking with your usual superhero movies.

I do feel that you could smell the ending coming from 200 nautical miles away. I kept hoping for some brilliant twist at the end, but unfortunately the last part of the movie was a real stinker. It felt like another director took over and finished the movie off with weird casting choices (I'm looking at you, Admiral Nordh) and a very predictable, yet totally irrational and "on a whim" 180 degree turn of the main character.

Unfortunately, it seems everything produced by Netflix turns out to be garbage in the end, no matter how good the premise and the first part of the movie...
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Who Am I (2014)
3/10
Cringefest
19 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I usually don't write reviews, and I very rarely stop give up on a movie without finishing it. But this one just started off so cringeworthy that I couldn't make it past 15 minutes.

Actual conversation:
  • "How did you get past the access control?"
  • "With a zero-day exploit."
  • "You know machine code?"


Now, I'm not a hacker or even know much about it. But I do know that "using a zero-day exploit" has nothing to do with knowing machine code.

I also know that one does not simply sit down in front of a computer in an unfamiliar house, type some commands for less than a minute and with ease turn off the neighbours electricity.

Couple this with an intro consisting of Anonymous-lookalikes, annoying techno music, your typical scrolling screens of random garbage characters a la The Matrix and some stereotypical hoodie-wearing people (that's how you can tell that they are hackers!). And that's just the very first few minutes of the movie...
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Black Box (II) (2020)
6/10
Not as bad as some make it sound
19 February 2022
I never write reviews, but I felt something has to be done here. This movie might not win an Oscar, but the 1- and 2- star reviewers are just ridiculous. Not sure why a few of them seem to have an issue with the title - sure, a "black box" is a common term for an aircraft data logger, but come on? I guess the same people expected "Silence of the lambs" to be about sheep...

I'm not an easy to please movie watcher, and I have no problem walking out on a movie half way if it seems to be pointless to finish it. But Black Box was actually pretty suspenseful and had a decent twist, which is more than can be said of many movies.

Don't expect a masterpiece, and don't overthink the technology - it's not a documentary.
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Holy Mess (2015)
4/10
Typical Swedish movie
24 December 2021
Just a typical swedish christmas movie. You have your politically correct story involving a family get-together consisting of your usual ensamble of half bad actors/actresses and bad attempts at something that I presume is supposed to be "humor". I don't know why they keep making the same movie with slight variations over and over. Very boring, predictable and frankly just embarrassing in-your-face political correctness. It seems sweden stopped even trying to make good movies around the year 2000. After that, it's all just clones of either this movie or Beck/Wallander/Salander/whatever.
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1/10
The editing made it unwatchable
14 February 2021
I could only stand watching the first 5 minutes, then I just skipped forward to confirm what I suspected... yes, the entire movie consists of talking heads on top of background "emotional music" and stock footage.

It's really a shame, because the topic seems like a ticking time bomb that's lurking in the shadows of global warming and other more "famous" problems.

There are much better documentaries on the subject. This just felt like an intro to a "History channel" documentary or something.
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ARQ (2016)
5/10
This moview goes nowhere
27 January 2021
This was a big disappointment. Normally I love time travelling movies, but I really wish I could go back in time one and a half hour and tell myself not to waste time on this one.

The backstory is nonexistent, the characters are unlikable, the plot goes nowhere. Literally - you will find yourself not caring about what happens to any of the characters, and that the plot is just one boring loop that never progresses and becomes more interesting than the first time around.

Seriously, don't waste your time. If you want to see a decent time travelling B-movie then go watch Timetrap.
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