Reviews

First things first...back when Comedy Central did their send-up of "Project Greenlight" called "Contest Searchlight" I had no clue that it was all a joke. The concept was that Denis Leary would set up a television show in the vein of "Greenlight." The thing was that it was a tumultuous set and seemed to be a failure from the get go. But one thing did strike my interests. The guy who "won" the contest came up with the idea of an improvised television sitcom. I thought "how brilliant! If they pull it off, it could actually work!" The concept was so interesting, I was hoping that it would somehow make come to pass. Finally, it has in the form of "Significant Others." I watched the other day, and i was completely floored by the improvisation. That entire cast is talented when it comes to thinking on their toes. Kudos to Bravo! for having the guts to put up a very funny show that actually, beats any other cable sitcom to a pulp.

Ah, sigh, another cheap take on "Jaws", which, (Lets be honest, folks,) wasnt a very good movie either. Is it me or are sharks the most boring animals in the ocean next to sea cucumbers? Face it, there is only so much you can make a shark do in movies that isnt as cliche as eating screaming actress's legs or as trite as it chirping "Fa Loves Pa!".

As cinematic flops like this watterlogged wannabe have proven, the ocean just isnt that interesting. Its like a big vat of salt water that proves little purpose when it comes to the entertainment business, (the only exception being "Finding Nemo"). If it isnt a big sappy whale hurling its big behind out of the water and over a wall, its a shark eating people that seem to exist to purely annoy the crap out of you. Case In Point: Remember screaming at the imbiciles in "Deep Blue Sea"? Imagine doing that ten times over at the same person AND the writers this time and you get the basic equation of "Red Water".

In Kansas, we have our own body of water called Cheney Lake and I can almost guarantee that our water is red for entirely different reasons. Unfortunately, we dont have any sharks sulking around in it but we do seem to have more than our fair share of fools who would rather poke and prod at a volitile animal than do an honest days work, (just ask the poor bears at the Sedgewick County Zoo).

Its nice to know that there are people who dont seem to mind that when they write a script that they just might have gotten that idea from another source. Otherwise, where else would i get to rant and rave about the hum-drum world "unda-de-wata!"? If it isnt stupid rips on the true meaning of Santa Claus at Christmas time, its takes on "Jaws" when the kids are out swimming in our nations lakes. If there where any justice in the world, somewhere a shark would be directing a film about humans attacking each other. But besides Michael Moore, what are the chances of a big dumb animal directing a film?

Jamie Foxx has forever presented himself as an unfunny comedian from his token turn in The Truth about Cats and Dogs to his now defunct sitcom, but with this HBO special, he has sunken to new lows. Starting off with terribly premature Taliban joke, (he constantly refers to the Taliban as Tenenbaum and other unneccesary things,)Foxx stands up to an audience that must have been regretting ever buying a ticket. This was the tip of the ice burg. Continuing with the stupid unnecessary jokes, Foxx goes on to explain his encounters with Jennifer Lopez's behind, his escapades at the Playboy Mansion, and a terrible bit about going to Africa, where he became aroused by a giraffe. His act is also quite homophobic, explaining that one only becomes gay after looking into Prince's eyes, cause he's so pretty. It would have been funnier to me if he had got up there and said, "I hate the Taliban, gays, and i love Jennifer Lopez's booty.", it would have made more sense.

There is something refreshing about Pitch Black. It may be ALIEN-esque and have a slightly clunky story-line but it has its sheen. I am very impressed by director David Twohy's use of relative unknowns in the starring roles. All of the characters are well-acted and are thurough the whole way through. I mean when you think about it had this movie have had top-dollar actors in it, the touch of cheap thrill wouldnt be there. But i know thats not it. It probably is the orginality of the cheepness and somewhat familiar storyline. No, thats not it either.Is it Vin Diesel's performance as the somewhat hunky Riddick? No? Then what is it? Oh yeah, i know what it is!

**** -This movie is freakin awesome!-

In a string of pretty BAD volcano pictures in 1997, DANTE'S PEAK is by far the worst. Although it may seem more likely that a dormant volcano comes back to life than a volcano that unconvincingly pops up in the middle of L.A., DANTE has taken the lava-toasted taco for the worst of the annoying strain. Pierce Brosnan's unintentionally funny dialog was by far the worst, aside from those annoying over-acting kids. I was especially annoyed with the kids, who clearly couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. Linda Hamilton-well-lets just say she's seen better days. The effects, on the other hand, exceeded that of VOLCANO and that, my friends, is where DANTE peaks over its competition. Thats all. Nowhere else. *1/2 out of four. -"You know its BAD! ITS BAD!"

I recently saw this movie and let me say this, WOW. I was blown away by the whole thing! I was shocked at the end especially. Director Jon Shear did a terrific job, and i am appauled that he recieved little or no recognition for this movie. It was powerful, totally redeeming the silly and love-stricken gay films of recent memory, (Beautiful Thing, Get Real and the like,). It gave the gay film industry and not to mention society a new face. Dan Futterman, (Bless him,) did an about-face on his career with this movie, as did Samuel Ball, Matt Keeslar, and Alan Cumming. If i could, id award ALL of those in this film. The depth, power and heat of Urbania are its real stunning feats. It plays as a hetero-flick, (at the beginning, i thought Charlie was straight,) and engulfs us in heart-warming and loving flash-backs. But towards the climax, the film reveals its true colors. Gay characters have never been played with such villanous or sinister-esque qualities. It is a slap in the face for those who think the homosexual community is weak and "sissified." Futterman's brilliance for villany upheld the main idea and the motive behind Charlie's actions. I was shaken when the movie was over, shaken in a good way. If this movie had gone through mainstream release,(which it should have,) homosexuals would be seen in another light. A more darker light which would bring heterosexuals closer to accepting the gay community as the people they are. ****, (four stars out of four) -a shocking, brilliant, and redeeming work of art-

Moulin Rouge is probably the most glamorous and majestic film to date. Many films have tried to be like Moulin Rouge but none can compare. Highlighted by beautiful cinematography and vivid acting, (Nicole Kidman was utterly breath-taking,) Moulin Rouge gave the audience a trip into a colorful world unexplored by any filmakers. The one tick I have is why the Academy was so stupid to leave Baz Luhrmann out of the race for best director. ALL of the film is a genuine product of his beautiful mind, (wink, wink!) It has been the talk of Hollywood lately that 'Rouge' is being considered for Broadway adaptation. I say go for it! It can't be a bigger flub than the skewing of Lurhmann for the Oscar. I am now a bona fide fan of his, and i would love to see him bring "Rent" to the silver screen.(if you havent heard about this, click on his name.) **** (4 out of 4) -Give my regards to Broadway, remember me to Harold Square!-

Never has a latin family ever been portayed so poorly. Its simply an unfunny look at the lives of a latin family, portrayed terribly by George Lopez. If ABC wanted to have a boring and stupid show (as they should have gathered from the test screenings,), they should have kept such D.O.A.s like the Geena Davis Show or Bob Patterson. Some reviews I saw were saying things like, "Gives Latin Americans something to smile about," or "Superb and hilarious." and all I did was laugh. The review was written by a Caucasian. That alone deserves a laugh. Believe me, as someone from latin american decent, that this show is the farthest from the truth. For one, there would be a lot more swearing involved and A LOT more drunken binging. Nothing can change my mind about this, but i will laugh when ABC pulls the plug on the show. 1/2(1/2 a star out of four.)

Thats my only question. D.J. Qualls is not really a bona fide star, and by putting him in a lead role is like knocking at the Raspberry Award door. His last real effort was decent in Road Trip, (albiet it was the exact same character development-a nerd into a cool kid,)and even at that, it was a sub-par effort. If they had gotten a more decent star, this movie would have been a lot better. Eliza Dushku is another story. Her 2-dimensional performance was rather dissapointing after a fair turn in Soul Survivors. Thats why I have to dissagree about this movie being a movie lovers movie. I thought it was ok, but other than that, it was a weak, lightly humor-dusted, and annoying trip to a-nerd-who-wants-to-be-cool-without-alienating-his-friends-land. **1/2 (Two and a half stars out of Four.)

Scrubs is most likely the best new show of the '02-'03 season. Many sitcoms have come and gone, but none have had the hilarity and histerical punch of Scrubs. the cast is flawless, no one could fill their shoes, and no one should. I was so glad when NBC decided to add it to their Thursday night line-up. Way to go! Thats where they should have been placed in the first place!!!(Inside Shwartz, what the hell were they thinking?)Scrubs i can see going all the way to the Emmy's and come out laughing. Zach Braff's performance deserves a nod in itself. But the one who deserves the Emmy is John C. McGinley. His wickedly sharp tongue keeps me tuned in every Tuesday. Finally, a an NBC show that is better than Friends.

Mtv just recently debuted "The Sausage Factory" under the name "Now What?". Thats exactly what i said. The show is inconsistantly funny but the characters are quite lovable, (Gilby makes me smile everytime.) We couldnt hope for more, but nevertheless, we should be able to hope for better.