This miserable production of a sham of a mockery of a travesty wasn't worth the paper that what passed for a script was printed on. Thee only action was heard and not seen, none of the characters had any depth, all the actors seemed to be reciting their lines directly from an invisible cue hanging between whoever they were sharing a dialogue with, and what's worse, they recited without any emotion whatsoever. Gene Wilder, while certainly a member of the more attractive part of the human race, has a lot to answer for with this shambles. He should have faded into anonymity immediately after his performance as Willy Wonka, for as a screenwriter he certainly fails to compare with Oscar Wilde and as a director he neglects to so much as try to equal the standard set by Alan Smithee. Woman in Red? More like S**t!
Reviews
6 Reviews
Citizen Kane
(1941)
Brilliant!
27 September 2004
Typical "rise and fall" crap. Orson Wells made such a shambles here that one is tempted to believe Danny Devito would have made a better go of it. The "Santa With Muscles" equivalent of the 1940s, sans the only redeeming feature, Hulk. The acting was atrocious, the story dull, and the action scenes decidedly lacking. The fact that this film possessed contained some of the more innovative special effects to plague the filming industry (Such as a mono-colour scheme) did little to relieve its monotony. And honestly, who didn't expect the ending? It's no wonder that Orson Welles never found work again. The brief appearance he made in "Ed Wood" was more than excessive for a man who didn't breathe at the time of its production. Citizen Kane? More like Citizen Pain!
Posutoman burûsu
(1997)
hmmmmmm........uninspired.
21 February 2003
Warning: Spoilers
I expected a comedy and found myself immersed in a predictable unbalanced piece of cinema....wait prehaps immersed isn't the right word..... Sabu really doesn't know what he's trying to make here, is it a comedy, crime thriller, romance? In my opinion this misses the nail completely in each genre he tries to conquer. Of course there are films that mix genres successfully, I'm not saying it cant work, but in this reviewers opinion "Posutoman burusu" doesn't. I laughed more at the film which, out of all the ones I've seen, I laughed the least at, henceforth this one. How many films do they make about the wrongfully accused? The romance element was tacky and short lived, those musical bonding scenes really pi*** me off and yet they are so overused in cinema, it's just a cheap excuse not to properly develop the characters. I am also sick of the much romantisised Yakusa films which I seem to see a lot of these days. The main reason this film is unbalanced is the inclusion of the sentimental violent drama aspect with the 'stupid comedy' aspect. Why would you have stupid cops who can't catch a guy who doesn't even know he's being followed teamed with overblown sentimentality when the main character is killed and he walks off to the afterlife with his cancer suffering girlfriend?? It's like combining "What's up doc?" with "Schindler's List". Aside from these criticisms, it does have some OK moments, the bicycle scenes were pretty good and some other bits were alright. The director has obviously tried hard to make this film and there are stylish bits that are well made but as a whole is just doesn't work.
Choose a genre Sabu. 6/10
Choose a genre Sabu. 6/10
Santa with Muscles
(1996)
This isn't as bad as I thought. Actually it is great.
25 January 2003
I started to watch this movie with incredibly low expectations but I was pleasantly surprised. It had a poignant quality about it, the directing was subtle and the script was perfectly orchastrated. I decided not to anaylse the more critical elements and I really loved it. Hulk Hogan is surpisingly good and I am astonished that he is so underused. His comic timing is near perfect. I laughed so much while watching this movie that I almost relieved myself on the couch to avoid missing it. I recomended it to people who aren't critics. It's not Citizen Kane but my god is it close.
A horrible atempt at entertainment.
21 January 2003
I had high expectations when going to see this film so as you can guess my disapoinment was insurmountable. I watched as my expectations crumbled onto the theatre floor and nestled next to a box of half eaten popcorn and spilled soda. I tried in vain to put it back together but it slipped through my fingers like sand. I slumped back in the theatre seat and surpressed sleep. I watched Elijah Wood's strugle with his one expression and attept at Homersexual flirting with Sean Astin, the miscast fat American. The dialogue sounded like it was being excreted. The dwarf is now just comic relief in the tradition of jar jar binks. I had to shut my eyes every time Peter thrust the camera in Aragorn's face. Golumn was horribly unrealistic. Puppets look light years better when used properly. I want to believe what I see. The line to the effect of "I hope someday someone will write a book about us" had me cowering under my seat in embarrassment. The battle scenes tried to be too flashy and as a result you can't get a scope of the battle or see what's going on. The fact that its rating is almost nine says almost too much about todays generation (to which I am also part of). LOTR above Citizen Kane? come on! It is just Blockbuster drivel from the Hollywood machine. You can only take this film on face value, there is no depth. I say go back to Braindead.
Human Highway
(1982)
An indescribably funny, wickedly satirical film.
21 January 2003
When hearing about Human Highway I had some doubts about a film made by a musician. Then I saw it. Had I died and gone to heaven? The experiance of watching this film was almost biblical. I have seen this film literary 50 times, each time it got even better then the last. If my life has a purpose, it is to watch Human Highway 1000 times. The film is extrordinarily well written, by the end of the film I was in tears. It has superb wit and sentimentality. The directing is prehaps the best to grace our screens bar none. When seen at face value the film looks like an absolute piece of crap, but when seen in context with the subtext and style it is one of the most powerful movies in existance. In this reviewers opinion it is the greatest of all anti war movies. The acting is top notch, the greatest surprise was the versitilty of Dennis Hopper playing 4 characters each played with masterful skill. Neil Young's acting displays the trials and hardships of the little man, never is it patronising. My life is complete. 1/10
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