Reviews

***

Starring: Roger Moore, Jane Seymour, Yaphet Kotto, and Julius Harris.

00-agent James Bond travels from the swamps of Louisiana to the island of San Monique to capture the suspected killer of three other agents, Mr. Big. There he finds the beautiful psychic Solitaire held under Kananga's control and his right hand man Tee-Hee, who really fits the definition of "right-hand man."

Roger Moore's first outing as Bond breathed fresh (needed) new air into the withering franchise after the below average "Diamonds Are Forever." This movie is filled with action, a good plot (that was actually believable), and the best villains in the series.

Rank in the Series: 3rd

*** 1/2

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Izabella Scorupco, Sean Bean, and Famke Janssen.

Double-0 agent James Bond, still as suave and sophisticated as he was in the last film, enters Russia in search of the stolen Goldeneye satellite.

After six years without 007, the fans needed a movie like this. Just about everything in this works, from the witty plot to Pierce Brosnan as the new Bond. And I can't review this without complimenting Sean Bean as the series best villain.

Rank in the Series: 1st

*** 1/2

Starring: Sean Connery, Gert Frobe, Honor Blackman, and Harold Sakata.

007 uncovers a gold-obsessed madman's sinister plot to contaminate all of Fort Knox's gold, which in turn would multiply the value of his own gold. Of course, he comes across women whose names are double entendres and a man who has a fascination of bowler hats (I wonder why?).

This is the movie that started the 007 formula: Thrilling pre-title sequence, women with "different" names, henchmen, and smarter sinister plots. And all of that works in this. The thing that worked the best in this is the title character, Goldfinger. Well acted by Gert Frobe and highly developed by the script writers.

Rank in the Series: 2nd

** 1/2

Starring: Matt Damon, Joan Allen, Brian Cox, and Franka Potente.

Starting where the last one ended, we are introduced to Jason Bourne and Marie living a supposedly happy life under new identities. But when two CIA agents are found dead, Jason is framed and must use every skill he has to survive.

Two things hurt this movie: 1. Shaky Story - The makers of this film should have spent more time developing a highly underdeveloped story. 2. Shaky Camera - I understand that the director was trying to make the fight scenes seem as real to the audience as possible; however, it instead made the movie hard to follow. Who just got punched? What just happened?

Okay movie, but I was disappointed.

** 1/2

Starring: Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen, an alien, and a predator.

A thermal satellite, owned by Charles Weyland, detects a major heat circuit on a small island off the coast of Antarctica. He assembles a group of people, with Alexa Woods as the guide, to explore what seems to be a pyramid of some sort buried beneath the ice. Once they arrive there, they soon realize that they aren't the only ones there.

The first two acts were filled with fun and plenty of tension, but the third act is packed with absolute silliness.

Entertaining movie, but hardcore Alien and Predator fans will be sorely disappointed.

*** 1/2

The "Average Joe Gym," owned by Peter La Fleur, is about to be taken over by the enormous Globo-Gym. His only chance to get it back is by retrieving $50,000. Coincidentally, a dodgeball tournament is happening in Las Vegas where the grand prize is 50k. Peter and his friends must compete and win this tournament to keep their gym, but of course not without White Goodman, the owner of Globo-Gym, in the same tournament.

I'm just gonna say this: Ben Stiller makes this movie. Given that their is a great supporting cast, Stiller steals every scene. Besides that this movie is hysterical. Along with "Anchorman" this is the second "stupid" comedy of the summer, and I loved them both. Just about all the jokes work perfectly.

Highly recommended.

*** 1/2

Starring: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell, and Paul Rudd.

Famous anchorman Ron Burgundy is on top of the world. He's got fame, friends, ladies, and his beloved dog. But all that changes as he develops a rivalry with his new female co-anchor Veronica Corningstone.

Without question this is Will Ferrell's best work. His over-the-top acting and his over-the-top hair fits perfectly in the title role. And surprisingly, he's not the best part. Steve Carell, as the "retarded" weatherman steals just about every scene he's in.

Hilarious movie, but not exactly for the ones who don't exactly like "stupid" movies.

***

Starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, Alan Tudyk, and Bruce Greenwood.

In Chicago, 2035, robots are almost as common as humans. And when Detective Del Spooner is investigating the death of Dr. Lanning, the creator of robots, he believes something non-human did it. Before the new shipment of robots arrives, Spooner must find out what's really going on.

Beautiful CGI (that's not going to happen too often), great characters, and incredible action makes this one of the best movies of the summer.

****

Starring: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas.

Newlyweds Shrek and Fiona are invited by her parents (the king and queen) to their castle to meet Shrek. They are...kinda disappointed that both Shrek and her are ogres. Several sub-plots (including an attempted assassination attempt by a cat) ensue.

Just about everything in this movie is great. From the hilarious children's humor to the hilarious adult humor ("We're following a white bronco...") make this the summer's best.

***

Starring: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, and January Jones.

Jim and Michelle, who have been dating for years now, are engaged and plan to marry quite fast. Jim has yet to meet Michelle's parents, and their meeting is very funny. Now what would an American Pie movie be without the Stifmeister? It wouldn't be nearly as funny! So of course Stifler is back (in his biggest role of the series) and thinks of only one thing...the bachelor party! Many mix-ups and gags ensue, making it the funniest of the three.

Now I had one problem. The jokes are now even more gross-out and sometimes those jokes can bomb (notably the "chocolate truffle"). The movie is very funny, and a great way to end the series.

PS: I actually hope there wont be AP4, so they (the series) could end on a fresh note.

**1/2 to ***

Starring: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes, and Cole Hauser.

Brian O'Conner, stripped of his badge and now in Miami, is picked up by the cops. The cops tell him that he could help them in this cliched druglord case; thus, clearing his record. Or spend awhile in jail. He picks the obvious one and goes for the druglord. He gets to streetrace, pick up on the hot girl, and more and more cliches.

This is the first movie I've ever given to ratings to, but I couldn't decide. The movie has plenty of fun sequences, and should not be taken too seriously. The cliches, however, riddle this movie too much.

Fun movie, but for the love of God don't take it seriously.

**

Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot, DUI himself, and a big green CGI machine!

Bruce Banner, a mild-mannered scientist, has a neat little alter ego that sure as hell would not make ya happy. Whenever Bruce gets angry, he turns into a massive green monster. The army really doesn't like this, so havoc between the Hulk and the army ensues.

The movie had more split screens then phone booth, a few flaws, and nothing that kept me too entertained.

***

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Forest Whitaker, and Radha Mitchell.

Stu Shepard, the mascot for an a-hole, uses the same phone booth everyday to call a woman who he is cheating on with his wife. Someone notices this and doesn't find his little antics any good. One day while Stu is making his phone call, the man takes aim at Stu with a high-powered sniper rifle. He shoots a man to prove again that he is for real, and everyone thinks it's Stu. With the police surrounding him, Stu cannot hang up the phone or he is gonna repaint the booth red.

Completely taut, energetic thriller keeps you watching and never bores you. The main problem I had was the ending. The VERY ending. I didn't like it as much as it could've been, but still a good movie.

** 1/2

Starring: Hayden Christenson, Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Samuel L. Jackson.

We now follow Anakin in his later life (Ok, like 10 years later) and we witness his change into the...the....dark side. He's turning into Vader and a new army has begun. The clones.

These prequels are really messing up the series. This movie wasn't too bad but it still wasn't good. They follow on the love of Anakin and Padme a lot more, and Yoda fights! Hoo-rah!

Anyway, the movie has real room for improvement. the only thing that gave this movie an extra 1/2 star is the CGI, which was excellent.

**

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Jake Lloyd, and Natalie Portman.

The movie follows at the very beginning of Anakin Skywalker's life. Most probably know of Anakin as "Darth Vader". The movie also focuses on the early life of Obi Wan Kanobe (I don't know how to spell HIS name). We are also introduced to some new characters. Darth Maul is pretty much the villain like Vader. Jar-Jar Binks is their to attract little kids and annoy the rest. Liam Neeson's character (do NOT get me started with his name) is Obi's trainer.

The movie doesn't have the excitement it should be. Darth Maul makes a great villain, and Jar-Jar was completely unnecassery.

A

Starring: Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Richard Karn, and Earl Hindman.

Tim Allen stars as Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor. He gets his nickname because he and his "chunky" friend Al host "Tool Time". You, the viewer, witness the many misadventures he and his family undergo. You also see the show "Tool Time". Most of the time it involves Tim making a joke about Al's "size". Hell he's just big-boneded.

The show has many funny and great jokes. The storylines always seem to succeed. No matter what. The only complaint I have against the show is that at times, they try way too hard to get a joke off well. And, when it doesn't work, it messes up big.

Rank: Somewhere in the Top 5.

*** 1/2

Starring: Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, and Eugene Levy.

Yo! What up! I beez seein this herre filmz, and I beez like, "DAMN! This beez off da hook!"

In translation, this movie was great. Here's the plot:

A divorced lawyer sets up an internet date for him and, what he thinks is, a nice woman. He finally finds out the horrifying truth when he meets his match. He meets a convict named Chantele. She's pretty much ruining him if he doesn't re-open her case. The movie gets funnier and funnier as they dive deeper in helping each other out.

All I can say is that this movie is hysterical. I have never heard an audience laugh so hard in a scene since "AP: The Spy Who Shagged Me". Especially during the "sex lessons" scene.

Martin and Latifah deliver great performances as what they are given. Eugene Levy delivers a good performance as the man who just can't get enough of the Queen. Betty White also brings a hysterical performance as the racist neighbor.

If you can get by the racial typecast, you will love this movie. If you can't, you would still probably like it.

**

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, and Michael Clarke Duncan.

A boy is blinded when a load of toxic waste sprayed in his eyes. It ends up his remaining four senses were super-sized. That's weird, because I had absolutely no idea that strength was a sense (you'll see later in the movie). He is now a vigilante, and he even cuts a rapist in half. Geez....I don't want to know what would happen if he runs into Usama Bin Laden!

The trailers make it look good. But it is bad. Riddled with TONS of mistakes and the ending should have been better.

****

Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, and Bob Gunton.

The story follows Andy Dufresne, a man wrongfully accused of murdering his wife, but he is really innocent. He befriends a few prisoners, and then finds a way to escape the prison.

The movie is one of the greatest movies of all time. It has every single element that makes this wonderful.

Very highly recommended.

***

Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Kelly Hu, Grant Heslov and Michael Clark Duncan.

A fighter, whose brother was recently killed, seeks revenge on his brother's killer. He also finds a sorceress, whom he soon finds as a nice, little love interest.

The movie is just a load of bloodless fight scenes. But the humor and action sequences (along with the good end) makes this movie worth seeing.

*** 1/2

Starring: Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, and Lucy Liu.

A Chinese man must go in search for a kidnapped princess. He soon teams up with a wanted robber to rescue the princess and stop a madman. They both also grow a friendship.

The movie is a hilarious movie. Great laughs and great characters makes this movie worth watching.

***

Starring: Gene Hackmen, Anjelica Huston, Ben Stiller, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

An aging man calls his children to tell them that he is dying. The problem: he has such a horrible relationship with his children. Now, he's trying to mend his relationships, along with a few other fun subplots.

The movie doesn't exactly strike any huge comedic notes, but it has such a great screenplay that it makes up for it.

** 1/2

Starring: Anna Faris, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, and Christopher Masterson.

The sequel to the 2000 hit follows some returners from the original, plus some new characters who are asked to stay the night at a haunted mansion. Of course, there's more gross-out humor.

The movie, thankfully with no male nudity, has an hysterical opening. But it just goes downhill from there. I originally would have given this two stars, but the opening deserves some good credit.

** 1/2

Starring: Jason Biggs, Amanda Peet, Steve Zahn, and Jack Black.

A loser gets whipped (funny how Amanda Peet was the "whipper" in this movie, and in her other movie) by a woman who longs to take over his life. Now, his two loser friends will go to any measure to get their best friend all the way from elementary school back

The movie has some great humor and great times. But the great actors can't save the stupidity this movie has.

** 1/2

Starring: Anna Farris, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, and Jon Abrahams.

A parody of numerous scary movies, this movie follows the "Scream" plot. A woman gets stalked and her friends start to get killed by a man dressed as ghost-face. Of course, this isn't meant to actually scare you, but make you laugh.

I know, I know what you're thinking. If this had female nudity I would be happy. Yes, probably better than seeing male nudity. Why? Because this movie is intended to target the male audience, and the male audience does not to see all these shots of men's nudity. Luckily, I took off no points for it.

This movie is a very funny movie. A little tired in some of its jokes, but for half the time, it entertained me.

Although, it did have some funny scenes, it still never launches off.