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Reviews
Tan Lines (2005)
Disappointing
A couple of cute boys is about all there is for this film to hang its hat on -- Jack Baxter as Midget being the best of the lot. The movie drags terribly and the audio is lousy. Acting is wretched and there isn't much of an ending, either. Come to think of it, don't waste your time. I hope to see the Baxter kid doing other work because he's the only bright spot in the thing. Gay cinema BEGS for more happy endings like "Regarding Billy," so why aren't there more of them?
The storyline regarding the living arrangements of the girl and her aunt were odd. Very strange, indeed. Not at all believable. And Midget's mother never out of the bed so we could see her face is kinda lame. Surprised she even got a credit at the end. Was she a drunk? A drug addict? WHAT? That was never explained. And the part about no one knowing who Midget's father was is also a mystery that's never explained, either.
Then, there's the silly thing about the gay teacher having had sex with Cassidy four years earlier: What TRIPE! I'm telling you, the plot in this yawner was terrible! And the director handled this part of the story so badly, it might as well have been left out. It was supposed to have been the part of the story that triggered the behavior of some of the other characters, but it was dealt with quite poorly!
Imagine Cassidy having had an affair with his sexy teacher four years back and then running off in disgrace. But after returning and hooking up with Midget, he walks in on the teacher kissing Midget in the showers. Corny. If that's not bad enough, then Cassidy proceeds to "whip up" on the teacher during the shower scene, leaving him with a broken arm.
But in the final scene, we see the same teacher and Cassidy sailing off into the sunset on a ferry. The teacher has one arm in a sling and the other around Cassidy and he's kissing Cassidy on the cheek. While poor Midget is left humiliated and alone on the dock where Cassidy has just tossed him over in favor of the teacher.
Give me a MAJOR break!
Nobody would DO that! Midget's just too cute and irresistible. And after getting mauled like that by Cassidy, the teacher would NEVER go back to the kid that had beaten him up. Just wouldn't happen. Bad storyline.
The only socially redeeming part was that Midget finds the only other gay guy his own age in the film and has sex with him in the bathroom. (Hmmm ... kinda thought they might wind up together.) Gets a "3" for the 2 cute guys.