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Reviews
Bam Bam and Celeste (2005)
I Love Margaret Cho, but...
I just saw this movie at the Toronto International Film Festival and Margaret Cho was there greeting fans at the entrance. She took questions, she took pictures, she was infinitely sweet and patient and I wanted nothing more than to love this movie; a fag and fag-hag road trip comedy, what could be better? Unfortunately I found the comedy was often of the "Psychics with ESPN" variety or that the timing was just off and I felt a bit disappointed that Maragret and also very funny Bruce did not imbue Bam Bam & Celeste with more character and personality since both in real life are such engaging and fun comedians I know it's a comedy and I wasn't expecting in-depth character development but they often came across a bit flat. I did however LOVE the supporting cast and the cameos alone make it worth watching. Plus Elaine Hendrix as the villainous high school tormentor turned beauty salon bitch was a brilliant casting choice. And Margaret playing her mother is reason enough to give the movie a shot.
It's really colourful, really honest and clearly straight from Maragret's heart--I just wish more of the personality she shows in her stand-up would have translated into the script.
Bad Boys II (2003)
Just when you thought summer blockbusters couldn't get any worse
"Bad Boys II" is quite likely the worst movie I have seen this year, and in a summer that gave us both "LXG" and "From Justin to Kelly", that's saying a lot. I left the film feeling irritated and angry that two and a half hours of my life were spent exposed to unoriginal, vulgar, poorly edited and written tripe. I enjoy a good action movie. Chase scenes and things going SPLAT and KABOOM can be fun, but Michael Bay manages to drag every moment for what seems like an eternity. Several scenes manage to plagiarize one another, and often felt like clips from the trailer instead of part of the movie. The continuity is horrible, and a chase scene that ends with the "heroes" crashing their car into a body of water, is immediately picked up on a road somewhere!
The fun interaction between Will Smith and Martin Lawrence that made the first "Bad Boys" enjoyable is pretty much entirely absent. Between their constant bickering, and dialogue so full of swearing tossed in for kicks, watching them literally becomes a painful experience. In the place of any real humor, the writers decided to resort to gay jokes to get some cheap laughs. (Nothing like the threat of anal rape to get the crowd roaring). Every actor in this disaster was reduced to a pathetic caricature: the brassy femme who wants to prove she is as good as the boys, while doing it in a bikini; the hard-boiled chief who has seen enough of the crime that is tearing his city (and consequentially his mental state of being) apart; JOE PANTOLIANO - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!
The movie itself is just so cold-hearted. To catch ONE drug dealer, the "heroes" of this movie cause 2 major highway disasters, and plow over a shanty town in like the 600th chase scene of the movie. Oh hooray, we got that awful drug lord; sure we killed dozens of people in the process, but at least the kiddies won't get their E as easily anymore. "Bad Boys II" was a bloated mess of a movie. Way too long, Way too poorly stitched together, and way too stupid to waste any of your time or money on.
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
Terrible...Terribly Fantastic That Is!
Okay, lets face facts, Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson can't act, but no one ever claimed they could. If you feel robbed having watched this movie, than apparently you went in expecting something, which is mistake number 1. The dialogue came right out of a "Sweet Valley High" novel: "You're the one playing games, and you know what...GAME OVER". The plotholes are so deep, one could bury the entire cast in them, and the constant use of text-messaging felt like an endless barrage of Nokia commercials. That being said, the opening dance number "Bounce" and the closing number "That's the Way" were a lot of fun, and more than made up for the ooey gooey not so satisfying middle. Katherine Bailess who played Alexa was divine. If there were ever tryouts for "Dallas: The Teen Years", she would definitely be a forerunner. Girls in skimpy outfits and pretty shirtless boys round out the positives of a movie that promises nothing and gives nothing, but an hour and a half of fun fluff which provides you and your friends with countless hours of cheezy quoting material :)
Tuck Everlasting (2002)
A Lovely Adaptation of a Wonderful Book
Tuck Everlasting brought back all the memories I had of the book, and its seamless weaving of actual text narrated throughout the movie made that feeling even stronger. Alexis Bledel and Jonathan Jackson make a wonderful Winnie and Jesse, and their relationship was a bit romanticized, but stopped before becoming maudlin or over-the-top; something Hollywood adaptations see to have a huge problem managing. Ben Kingsley was great as the smarmy man in the yellow suit, and Amy Irving without the assistance of very much dialogue, breathed life into a character I remembered as rather one-dimensional. The film asks questions about mortality and the definitions of life and living without beating the audience over the head with them. The story is smooth and the soundtrack and scenery helped create an atmosphere with just enough magic to be enchanting and just enough emotion to be sweet without being saccharine.
Chicago (2002)
5,6,7,8! POW
From the moment Taye Diggs as The Band Leader starts his set, and we are thrown into the scandalous world of "The Onyx", you fall in love with "Chicago". The few comments I have heard or seen that are not positive, are often from people who are too hung up on the original stage production, and are too busy pointing out differences in the two, to really enjoy the movie.
Casting was superbly done, and I even found myself liking Richard Gere as Billy Flynn, a choice I originally believed would kill this film. Renee Zellwegger is absolutely amazing, and genuinely believable as sexy saucy jazz killer Roxie. Catherine Zeta-Jones is the ideal Velma, and her voice has a robust, forceful zest, that was quite a surprise. Queen Latifah makes a divine Mama Morton, and she breathed new life into "When You're Good to Mama", a song that I never really loved before. Amos Hart was a staggeringly well-acted character, pulled off by the always impressive John C. Reilly, and his rendition of "Mr. Cellophane" blew me away.
The songs were all adapted well, but "Cellblock Tango" was nothing short of genius. I was humming "pop, six, squish, uh uh, sicero, lipschitz" for hours after the movie was done. If you love musicals, and hell even if you don't, "Chicago" is a treat you'd be crazy to miss.
Buying the Cow (2002)
If you like stereotypes, and shmaltz...
For those who just want a quick to the point review; this movie was awful. I'm not being a film snob; it's not like I went in expecting much, but aside from the Ryan Reynolds and Bill Bellamy eye candy, this movie had nothing to offer. The jokes were flat, the plot was derivative, and the story was not only stupid but painfully redundant. In fact, entire chunks of plot, and characters such as the "token black guy" Jonesy, played by Bill Bellamy, were absolutely pointless, and borderline offensive.
If you are going to watch a wacky sexual young-adult romp, watch "Van Wilder" or even an Adam Sandler movie--anything to stop you from wasting your money on "Buying the Cow". It was "straight-to-video" for a reason, trust me!
Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
Whitey & Eleanor Save the Day
I agree with almost everyone's reviews, both positive and negative. 8 Crazy Nights is indeed a predictable, lewd, standard Adam Sandler movie, but what were people expecting? Punch Drunk Love was an exception. When Adam Sandler flexes his dramatic muscle he can create something awesome. When he creates a comedy it'll be chock full of poop jokes--why is this surprising to people who "walked out" of the movie? Were you expecting refined subtle comedy?
If you approach 8 Crazy Nights expecting nothing, you will at least find yourself laughing at several points. Whitey's 80's flashbacks, and any scene involving Eleanor are enough to save the movie. The corporate logo song, and "Technical Fowl" were nice musical interludes, and though extremely predictable, the moral of the story is none-the-less touching.
If you are considering watching this movie, you know what a Sandler comedy is like and you know what to expect, so approach with the expectation that you might giggle along, without feeling (like others have commented) that you deserve something more.
Thanks
Bollywood/Hollywood (2002)
Hilarious Hybrid with Minor Flaws
I attended Bollywood/Hollywood with a thorough familiarity and passionate distaste for the common cookie-cutter plotlines that normally permeate in both the American romantic comedy, and the Bollywood musical. I was pleasantly surprised to see that these boring standards were respectfully lampooned in Deepa Mehta's offbeat story (a tragic accident involving meditation), and mixed with a kicking soundtrack that makes you wanna get up and dance alongside the gorgeous Lisa Ray, and Rishma Malik.
The plot itself is pretty run-of-the-mill, but the random musical scores and surprise dance numbers keep the audience's attention. Moushumi Chatterjee as the mother evokes a feeling of familiarity, as her character's self-imposed martyrdom reminds us of the mothers in our own lives.
Strangely enough, the main flaws of the film are technical. the sound quality waivers, and at times seems like somebody has turned down the volume. At first i thought it was only during our showing but people who have seen the same movie at different theatres have shared this complaint. The acting was also quite amateurish at times, but when the cast burst into a sing-song, it was easily forgotten, and the moral of the story really takes shape, especially through Ranjit Chowdhry's character Rocky, who reminds us that everyone has there secrets, and nothing is ever exactly as it seems.
All the Rage (1997)
Misguided attempt at satire is both boring and confusing
I was extremely bewildered by the purpose of this film, but even more bewildered by the positive reviews a few people have left for it. It truly holds almost no value as a movie or social commentary at all. The acting is static and makes you feel like you are watching the first performance of several understudys. The subplot involving Merle Perkins' character Susan is unrelated and incomplete. The random black and white vignettes featuring the main character "Christopher Bedford" are intrusive and uninformative and I didn't care for a single one of the shallow, archetypical characters we were supposed to relate to.
The fact that people found some scathing commentary on the emptiness of the pretty boy "gym-bunny" gay lifestyle within this contrived film astounds me. Did I miss something? I saw a story about one man who sleeps around, cheats, and ends up lonely...Was that not an obvious conclusion? The emotionally charged ending seems out of place and adds 5 minutes of drama to a film that was an hour and a half of blah blah blah....YAWN
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
Familiar & fantastic - Leaves you feeling like one of the family
Hallelujah for this film! In a market where getting a laugh has been reduced to predictable one-liners and raunchy site-gags, and the Romantic Comedy has been on its way to a much deserved grave, My Big Fat Greek Wedding breathes new life into these ailing genres.
Though everyone who I know who has watched this movie has enjoyed it, it is those born to European parents that fell in love with it. I found myself agape at the similarities between the Portokalos family and my own. Not only the strict old-school beliefs and customs, but the endearing relationships between Toula and her family. the laugh-out-loud familiarity of their personality types had me relating to her so deeply, that i felt happy when she was happy, and mortified when she started to blush.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding is an amazingly touching movie. Showcasing the love (albeit intrusive love) of family, and the desire to balance that love with personal fulfillment.
And a special treat for Canadian audiences, is the HUGE number of Canadian actors in this film - nice to see Nia Vardalos sticking to her roots in more ways than one. :)