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Greedywhitedevii
Reviews
The Karate Kid (1984)
"FOR THE LAST TIME KIDS, there IS NO such move as 'The Crane' in karate!!!" - My karate instructor, circa 1984
And now, for some other sad but true facts that seperate this film from reality....
First of all, Daniel LaRusso can't be as big of a pussy as he is made out to be. Newark, New Jersey is a pretty tough town to grow up in and someone as light on their feet as Danny Boy couldn't possibly survive 16 years of growing up there, could he? And even so, why would he travel almost 3000 miles to sunny, laid-back southern California to get his ass kicked by Johnny? Are the Kobra-Kai bigger and badder than oh say the Latin Kings? Well hmmm.....oh wait! I forgot that Daniel-san is Italian and being Italian AND from New jersey has to have some perks. What if.....Daniel(whose father was dead...it never said how...another hmmmm) was connected to a godfather who had people that could "take care" of Johnny, Dutch, Bobby, Kreese and the rest of the nasty Kobra-Kais?
What if the character of Myagi was substituted by "Maggio" (portrayed by Anthony Quinn or Tony Curtis), a maintance man who was secretly hiding under his Federal Witness protection. Instead of "The Crane", he shows Daniel how to pistol-whip, make car bombs and mix cement. Instead of an old Packard, Maggio gives Daniel his very own hoop ride; a 1977 El Dorado convertable that Daniel had to wax with melted wax from a wheel of fontina cheese...bueno!
Life Goes On (1989)
"Oh blah dee, oh blah BLAH!!!
Well, it wasn't always BLAH.... In fact, ABC had propelled itself far ahead of the trendiness of NBC or the cultural prehistorics of CBS programming with this groundbreaking show. Corky, a 19 year old kid with Downs is admitted to freshman level of high school thanks to a controversial decision made in public schools in the late 80's known as "mainstreaming". There, he wings his way through a world of playful jocks, cynical smart kids and mean-spirited cheerleaders. His only help is Becca, his 14 year old sister and Tyler Benchfield, star athlete, all around nice guy who protects Corky from being teased all the while harboring the secret of having a disabled brother himself. "Life Goes On" was in fact the first show to center around a retarded (Downs is a form of retardation, so back off P.C. ers.) main character as well to feature one as the star of the show. Chris Burke did a superb job and is not blamed at all for why the show went BLAH.... First of all not every show centered on Corky. No. Usually it was the pathetic ideals that his ex-hippie baby-boomer parents pushed on us Sunday viewers. Or how older sister Paige rejects men resembling Wall Street traders for lowly artists. And who could forget Becca, the true star of the show for not being so shallow as to end her infatuation with Tyler for the AIDS-stricken Jessie who loved to paint her nude and help out in her anti censorship marches on the local record store. Meanwhile Corky was always left doing something childish that pretty much took away from his story of struggling to be normal. "Life Goes On" was a platform for the producers to launch their liberal views on an unsuspecting audience waiting to see the "ABC Sunday Night Movie" which usually was "Star Trek II". Oh blah dee BLAH BLAH!!