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Ferdinand (2017)
"Looks like weird is the new normal buddy..."
Anyone remember the short Ferdinand the Bull from Disney in 1938? That was a nice little animation!
Basically I do not like Blue Sky films, can watch all Ice Ages without even a smile... Though in the first few minutes I thought it would be a great film. And this feeling lasted for 5 minutes at most...
Because it is an extremely poorly written film.
Ferdinand's father would tell all his moves to son but just after becoming a champ. Why not before? Where did he live until now? Why did not teach his son before?
The calf "Ferd" jumps up to an unfamiliar, very big, loud, moving train (and he knows what it is for) but deadly afraid of a quiet, affectionate, young girl.
The girl just throws away her dog and SLEEPS with the big black... bull... errr yuck!
Those NOT FUNNY hedgehogs dancing to MACARINA (OMG)!
The goat is some sort of Scrat clone?!
Could enumerate all the "weirdnesses" but it is just do not worth... The whole film is a brainless hokum.
It is very annoying that almost all today's films uses that cheesy american stilted "cool talk". Personality or clever jokes are not important but saying "cool" expressions in a factitious, affected way is essential. That is not funny. That is stupid.
I would say go and watch the 80 years old Disney film with the whole story in a quick 8 minutes and save the other 100 to your family.
Hotel Transylvania (2012)
It was a severe battle to watch the entire film
I have seen few years ago, but everything I could remember that it was bad...
Now I have watched again and all I can say it is a wonderful film. Lack of story, lack of jokes, lack of personalities mixed with disgusting music... but it looks good and it is a film.
All act is awkwardly affected, compulsory 'cool talking', jokes smells like sweat...
Halfway through the film I struggled to keep watching and begged for the end. And it came... ADAM SANDLER! Oh my goodness! So that is the reason why this film was SO BAD!
Boring, idiot, embarrassing, cheap...
SparkShorts: Purl (2018)
If this is the future of Pixar, I'll have to neglect them
Not just rude, but I think this kind of white male stereotyping is horribly toxic.
Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)
Disney/Pixar is stepping onto some swampy downhill path
Preface - I am in love with the film Wreck it Ralph. One of the best animations ever.
So, the story in short:
- Spoilt little female freak kid: I am bored. And girls just wanna have fun!
- Big lonely hulk male: I can HELP you! I want you to be HAPPY!
- The selfish little female glitch mess up her game and falls into apathy. The loser male character come up with the idea: let's go to the internet, we will buy a wheel!
- Both of them are crazy enough for betting on each other on an auction... they need lots of money... aaaand
- The big imbecile loser male guy making himself a complete idiot just because he loves his little freak friend. He does everything to SAVE HER! At the same time the little glitch chatting with princesses about singing... and developing identity(?)
- Meanwhile the selfish small female confesses to her new friend (does not know anything about Shank but she is super cool - hey, that is enough!), so the little glitch tells her that the big hulk guy is boring, and SugarRush is boring too. So, she would stay instead butchering some game players... why not?
- Big imbecile dull male guy is lonely, wants to get back his BELOVED friend AND PROTECT HER. He is using small trick but does not want to hurt anyone!
- Things go wrong, hulk guy saves spoilt little female kiddo's life but she gets offended and send her best friend away...
- Virus copies the humbled BAD GUY, and the hell breaks loose. The BAD GUY saves the little freak princess from the BIG BAD BAD GUY.
- Then, the selfish little female freak forgives to the big imbecile and let him adore herself. But just from far distance, only weekly 1 hologram meeting allowed!
Conclusion 1. The imbecile lonely big miserable male hulk allowed to make money to save his irresponsible female friend. At the end of the story he remains a BAD GUY, but allowed to worship his princess (sometimes). Does not matter the positive purpose or how big is your effort, the huge dull imbecile male loser will be just BAD. 2. Crazy selfish female glitch princesses has to fulfil their dreams, even if those are irrational. To be cool is more than enough, moreover desirable and the final challenge. They allowed to dispose about bad guys schedule, when to worship themselfs. THEY ALLOWED TO GOING TURBO!
My rating (2) is for the Bob Ross joke and few others. -8 is for the story and the massive tons of advertising. I liked very much Ralph and I was in love with Vanellope. Disney has been achieved that I hate Vanellope and commiserating Ralph. Thanks.
This film is not only one of the worst of all, but especially harmful. Save your time and the money for the tickets!
Someone who has doubts about Disney/Pixar's downturn, just check the new Pixar short Purl!
edit: Almost forget to mention the end credits scene! The BAD GUY feeding a super cute white rabbit with pancakes ended up the bunny blew up and... probably burst. As the little girls face shows. This scene is over any limit. The tied-in child trying to escape as she is watching the horror but cannot, just kicking the air with her legs. The fright on her face represents her inner feelings. The shock is so huge, she cannot look elsewhere... They came up with the idea, drawn, modelled, rigged, animated, rendered and cutted in at the very end. Shame on you Disney... You are just evil.