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Reviews
Confessions of a Superhero (2007)
Interesting from a psychology perspective, I guess...
I gave this a seven stars simply because it entertained me. But know this, I am easily entertained. ;) To me, the only sympathetic individual was the "Hulk." He seemed to actually have integrity. I can't say anything negative about the guy at all. But I don't know these people, so I'm just relating what I got from the movie. "Superman" was a nice guy, although I'm not sure if I believe his claim about being that actress' son, especially since her entire family denies it. I think he may be delusional. The ultimate irony is that his wife is a psychiatrist, which only tells me psychiatry isn't about helping people to better themselves as much as it is about making people feel good about themselves, regardless of what they do. He seems harmless though.
"Wonder Woman" seems like the typical small town pretty girl. I'm sure all her life she was treated better than most in that little town simply because she is pretty, so what's the next logical step? Hollywood! But this girl has a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully she'll date someone longer than 2 weeks before she marries again. She also seemed pretty elitist in how she talked about her home town. I thought the dichotomy in her and her mother's explanation for leaving was humorous, in a sadistic way.
Now we come to the crown jewel- nanananananananananana "Batman"! This dude is a scumbag, at least that's how they made him out. Pathological/habitual liar ftw! He wants people to think he was Special Forces and a black belt in several forms of martial arts. He then goes to some karate class and he can't keep up with BASIC stances or turns that a child can do on their first day. I mean, he does EVERY move wrong, and I'm talking about STANCES and TURNS, not even sparring. He also likes to talk about something he doesn't like to talk about (big indication he's a liar)- that he has a "body count." The moron brings his fantasy to a shrink who asks the begged for question- "Is this a confession?" To which he responds with nervous laughter. The best part was when the shrink says, "Were you arrested?" and he says, "UNFORTUNATELY, no." UNFORTUNATELY???!!! The shrink says, "There's no statute of limitations on murder" and then he gives some BS explanation about how "there's nothing" to connect him to it because it was in the '80's, and we all know that in the '80's you could get rid of evidence whereas "you can't do that now." Riiight. Another comedic gem is the News footage they show of his confrontation that leads to his arrest. His flamboyant "line in the sand" had me laughing out loud and I had to rewind and watch it again.
All in all, if you're interested in seeing people suffering from different psychoses then this will definitely interest you. The "Hulk" seemed to be the only grounded individual and I wish him well in his movie career. To the others I say, good luck because they're definitely going to need it (although "Wonder Woman" could probably have a lucrative porn career...)
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
I'm glad I didn't pay to see it...
My wife loves movies. I like good movies. When money is tight she'll go to the library and check out a few DVD's. That's how I came to be familiar with this film. At first glance, I didn't want to watch it. She watched it and we were about to return it when a friend came over and wanted to see it because of Statham. I had nothing else to do so I actually watched it.
Anyone giving this more than 1 star needs to take a long vacation and re-evaluate their mental fitness. This movie was really, really, really, really, really, really bad. (If you think I overused "really" just there, I really didn't) Poor writing, editing, dialog, acting, etc. plague this film. One thing that stuck out to me is the little "pose" Statham did after killing someone. No joke here, he would swipe with his "sword" (accurately described by another critic as more of a machete) for that final blow and hold that pose for like 5 seconds afterward. Can anyone tell me why directors still do that? I mean, who does that?? I've never seen a boxer knock out his opponent and stand there with his arm stretched out posing in that "final blow" pose. Another critic saw the same thing we saw- the "krug" were reminiscent of the original Planet of the Apes mixed with a little Orc.
Also, I couldn't believe how long the movie was. It seemed like it dragged on for ages. I knew I didn't really want to watch it, I'm just glad we didn't pay to see it.