Reviews

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Michael and Sam Emerson(Jason Patric and Corey Haim) are a couple of regular American teens who have moved with there recently divorced mother(Dianne Wiest)to the sea side town of Santa Carla. Moving in with their eccentric Grandpa(Barnard Hughes),the boys find life in the small town quite different to Phoinex,Arizona where they had moved from. For a start there is the incredible amount of unexplained, mysterious disappearances that seem to plague the area.

It's not long before the youths find themselves caught up in a whole load of trouble. Michael falls in with a gang of enigmatic bikers lead by the charismatic David(Kiefer Sutherland)while Sam meets a couple of boys.The Frog brothers(Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander)who's parents own a comic book store. The feisty lads try to convince Sam that Santa Carla is infested by the supernatural undead ie.Vampires. But by that time it's too late as Michael discovers when the true identities of his new biker pals are revealed to him. When Sam finds out the truth about Michaels new pals and what his brother is becoming. He tries to warn his mother. But with little success. Now with only the Frog brothers to turn to and with Michaels love for David's main squeeze Star(Jami Gertz) being the one thing thats holding him together. The pair of them have to help one another to stand up against and defeat the evil in Santa Carla.

As one of the more well known teen horror movies of the late eighties.'The Lost Boys' although by no means entertaining and with a healthy dose of tongue n' cheek humor, is no classic. Directed with the stylish and enthusiastic energy you would have expected from Hollywood veteran Joel Schumacher. Its a perfect example of a movie that lets style take a back seat to substance. After all this was merely the 'Breakfast Club' meets 'Salem's Lot'. An excuse to make a vampire movie for the teen crowd.

The mostly young cast all gave wonderful, spirited performances. Even Corey Haim. An actor who along with his more talented counterpart,Corey Feldman. Found himself relegated to direct to video dross. Sutherland was suitably chilling in his roll as lead vamp David. While Patric showed the promise of a future star. Sadly however he never quite made the grade. Speed 2 didn't exactly do him any favors. The older actors were also good value. Dianne Wiest was her usual reliable self while screen veteran Hermann is good value. Ultimately for me the best character has to be Grandpa. Played with charming, comic brilliance by Barnard Hughes. He was only equaled by the Frog brothers(Feldman and Newlander).Together they ultimately made the movie.

Surprisingly the visual effects have aged well and there is the odd chilling moment. That said there was something lacking that I cannot quite put my finger on. Something that lapses the movie in to mediocrity. That said the movies climax as the kids fend off an attack by the remaining members of Davids gang of Vampires does set your pulse racing while the last line of the movie which is uttered by Hughes is unforgettable.

Even though 'The Lost Boys' isn't a movie classic. It does have that nostalgic quality for me. Enough that I would want it for my DVD collection. But if you get the chance don't expect too much from it.For me the better movie of the late eighties was possibly Tom Holland's 'Fright Night'. It's no classic either. But sadly under valued and under looked. But if you get the chance. Do give Schumacher's pic a look see.

Robs Rating: * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

James Dove(Jeff Bridges) works on one of Bostons finest Bomb squads. Always having to defuse the most difficult of devices his team comes across. The dedicated officer however plans to put all that behind him. Dove wishes to retire to become a teacher to young bomb disposal rookies. This is down in part to the fact that he is engaged to the lovely Kate(Suzy Amis) and doesn't wish to make his future wife a widow in the near future. Not only that but she has a young daughter who looks upon Jimmy as a father.

Things take a turn for the worse however when an unwelcome face from Jimmy's past arrives in Boston. None other than former IRA terrorist Ryan Gaerity(Tommy Lee Jones). Having just escaped from an Irish prison cell and hungry for Jimmy's blood he sets out on a campaign of terror. Not only on the brave bomb disposal expert. But his impending family and fellow members of the Boston bomb squad. Jimmy now finds that only he can stop his former acquaintance. But what exactly links the two of them together and how many more people will die before Jimmy can stop him?

Being one of at least two or maybe even three movies of a similar theme in the same year. 'Blown away' was going to have to be seriously good to fend off the competition. With Australian director Stephen Hopkins onboard at the movies helm who had previously directed the dire fifth 'Nightmare on Elm street' flick and with Tommy Lee Jones as an Irish terrorist. Hopes were not exactly good. The end result, although not all together great.In the end makes for passable enough viewing.

Bridges as the heroic Jimmy Dove steps effortlessly in to his charismatic lead roll. That said it doesn't exactly challenge him as an actor like it should. To be quite frank this is the sort of roll he can do in his sleep. A million miles from his more difficult stab at portraying an extra terrestrial in the 1984 sci-fi/romance vehicle 'Starman'. As for Jones his personal performance as former IRA man Ryan Gaerity can be described as mediocre at best. He does show enthusiasm in his roll. But the result is a fair bit of mugging as he rant and raves at Bridges through out the movies running time of just under two hours. The less said about his woeful attempt at an oirish accent the better. Needless to say it rates as one of the worst ever. Only beaten by Robert Duvall's embarrassingly bad scottish accent in 'A Shot at Glory'. Thank god for Forest Whitaker as one of Jimmy Doves pupils. It's almost always good to see Whitaker in a film and his effortless cynism and charisma certainly livens up the enterprise.

As for the film it self. It's a sadly predictable affair. With a script although not entirely bad is hardly inspiring. There's also the usual plot holes to be found in this kind of popcorn fodder. While the inclusion of Jeff Bridges old man Lloyd in a small supporting roll seems gratuitous and not necessarily needed. That said director Hopkins makes the best of the material he has been given. His direction is slick enough and manages to keep the pace going. Where he shines most of all as a director is not in the amazing explosive sequences where the bombs finally detonate. But in the way he makes his camera go to the places we don't normally see. In this case the inner workings of the deadly bombs which is of course a master stroke of ingenuity. I can assume that this owes much and was inspired by the ground breaking work of the Cohen brothers. It was they after all who invented and used such imagery in many of their earlier work.

All in all 'Blown Away' is not the best in a series of 'mad bomber' movies. That award probably goes to Jan De Bonts 'Speed' that was released the same year. Never the less it's still a passable enough way to pass the time. Even with it's faults. Just sit back and try and not to engage your brain and you might just enjoy it. But someone really should have shot Tommy Lee Jones for that laughable accent. I suppose the best I can say for it was that I got a good laugh.

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Business man Jerry Lundegaard is in a dire financial situation.So much so that he is a desperate man willing to do anything to save him self.So what else can he do but concoct a scheme to replenish his withering bank balance.Hiring two hapless small time hoods,the slimy Carl(Steve Buscemi) and the silent,brooding Gaear(Peter Stormare) from Fargo,North Dakota.Jerry arranges that the two of them will kidnap his wife Jean(Kristin Rudrud) and hold her to ransom.The money will no doubt be paid by Jerry's wealthy and unsuspecting father in law.With the cash Jerry will be able to pull him self away from bankruptcy and use it to pay off the two inept crooks he has hired.But as is usually the case,things don't go to plan.Now with corpses littering the beautiful,cold landscape of Dakota and feisty sheriff Marge Gunderson on their tail.What chance do Jerry and his partners in crime have.

What else can I say about Fargo that hasn't been said already.Quite the opposite actually.uninspired,lethargic and emotionally distant, Fargo has to rate as one of the most over rated movies of all time.Okay maybe I'm being a little unfair.The Cohen's most greatly rewarded movie is not exactly awful.But it's hardly good either.Why this is held in such high esteem by critics and movie fans is beyond me.But as the old saying goes.'There's no accounting for taste'.If so how could Keanu Reeves(although he seems like a really nice guy) and Tom Cruise to this day be such big stars in Hollywood.Who knows?Who cares?

Anyway.I'm beginning to stray from the subject of 'Fargo'.A movie which wastes a good,strong cast who are normally seen in supporting rolls. Although the four main stars are by no means fantastic and become the personification of each of the four protagonists.Ethan and Joel Cohen's script doesn't truly do them the justice they deserve.Wether it's down to the the quirky humor(which can work at the best of time),the fact that I couldn't begin to care about the characters who for some reason you feel detached from or that not enough happened to truly keep me rivited to my seat.I'm not entirely sure.Chances are.It's all the above. Even the scene where a couple of innocent motorists are gunned down by Buscemi and Stormare,having witnessed them commiting a vile crime didn't chill me to the bone as it should have.

Although well directed and the very slight moment of amusement from Buscemi and Stormare as well as McDormand.This was and is something of a disappointment for me.Even with it's bloody(and may I say predictable, anti-climatic)denounment.It's a thriller that just didn't manage to set my pulse racing.A pity I suppose as there might have been potential for a decent movie here.Sadly the Cohen brothers just wasted what was a promising premise with an uninspiring waste of an hour and a half of movie celluloid.

Robs Rating: * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

The year is 10191 and the known universe is reliant on the precious spice melange.It is this spice that makes it possible for the most powerful rulers and their people to fold space.That is to travel to any part of the galaxy in an instant.The spice however only exists on one planet in the cosmos.The desert planet of Arrakis which is other wise known as 'Dune'.The natives of the planet called the Fremen have long held a prophecy that one day a man from the outer world, a messiah will come to Arrakis and rid them of the rulers of the planet,the insidious inhabitants of House Harkonnen.For a long period of time a feud has raged between the head of house Harkonnen,the Baron Vladamier Harkonnen(Kenneth McMillan) and the head of House Atredies on the planet Caladan.The head of House Atredies is none other than Duke Leto(Jurgen Prochnow).

The baron and his family are ordered by the emperor of the universe,Shaddam IV(Jose Ferrer) to leave Arrakis so that the Atredies may rule over the desert world and take control of spice production.Leto and his partner, the former Bene Gesserit witch Lady Jessica(Francesca Annis and they're teenage son Paul(Kyle Maclachlan) move to Arrakis,little knowing that the emperor's order is part of a vile plot between the emperor and the Harkonnen to wipe out the Atredies.For too long the feud between the Atredies and the Harkonnen a family's have held up spice production.When the Atredies are wiped out it will put an end to the feud and production may continue unhindered.Little do the emperor or the Harkonnen know is that Leto's son Paul is the messiah of the Fremen prophecy and that he will spell doom for the Harkonnen.Not only that but after his father's death he will vow revenge on the emperor and take his throne to become ruler of the universe.

What was David Lynch thinking?That is quite clearly the first sentence that springs in to my head when I think of how much of an expensive,costly disaster his adaptation of Frank Herbert's epic novel was.With amazing sets and brilliantly designed planetary backgrounds to bring the story to life,Lynch to his merit had a an astonishing grip on how the universe from Frank Herbert's imagination should look.Not only that but the costumes adorned by the huge cast are a credit to the costume designers who created them and a testament to Lynch's visual genius.Other than the fact that most of the cast is of a high calibre this is an other wise embarassing attempt to bring the classic science fiction novel to the big screen.

In trying to take Herbert's gargantuan epic story and condense it in to a movie with a running time of just over two hours,Lynch missed much of what was important in the movies plot.Great amounts of important issues that are raised in the book are erased from the movie completely and as such what we get is an unintelligible,confusing mess of a movie that makes little sense.We never fully under stand the politics of Arrakis and why the emperor takes the side of the brutal Harkonnen rather than the noble Atredies.Why in the end,Paul never has the emperor killed when he takes over Arrakis and the universe and how the likes of Paul's former tutor in the ways of combat Gurney Halleck(Patrick Stewart)survives the Harkonnen and Sardukaar onslaught of the Atredies. The performances as well like I have stated above are mostly good but there are exceptions.Most notably of course being Sting who is hopelessly miscast as Baron Harkonnens nephew Feyd-Rautha.He looks far too old in the role as he is supposed to be closer to Paul's age in the novel.As for his performance.The less said about that the better.I could commend the actors and go in to more depth at how they coped admirably with what is a terrible script.But what would be the point.

In the end 'Dune' while visually impressive and admittedly decent enough direction from Lynch is possibly the worst movie of his career.It was a movie that should never have been attempted to be made.I hear there is a director's cut of the movie which is three hours in length.While longer I'm sure it will offer little in the way of coherence.Personally I would recommend that you read the book.That or watch the Sci-fi channels five hour mini-series version.Although not great it is certainly superior to this incoherent garbage.

Robs Rating: *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

'A Beautiful mind' is the oscar winning biopic of John Forbes Nash Jr.A brilliant young mathematician who though an incredibly gifted genius is sadly lacking in any social skills.The cocky student is brought down a peg or two by fellow students who mock him for his arrogance.Eventually however,Nash manages to win their respect after making a ground breaking discovery and marries the beautiful Alicia Larde(Jennifer Connelly).

After graduating university Nash gets a job working for what appears to be the CIA.Working under the enigmatic William Parcher(Ed Harris),Nash becomes a code breaker who amazingly unravels numerous codes for the American government.But everything is not what it seems and the young scientist eventually finds that there is more to what is going on around him than meets the eye.A fact that also becomes very clear to his loving wife and friends.

This harrowing and touching drama has to rate as one of director Ron Howard's finest works to date.An excellent biopic that depicts the life of one man who struggles to come to terms with the demons that are suddenly presented in front of not only himself but those who care about him.Russell Crowe's portrayal of the cocky yet likable genius is simply breathtaking.An actor of true versatility,Crowe manages to make Nash everything that he is.An incredibly gifted man who is sadly also very naive in many ways.He manages to bring the right amount of cockiness to Nash while also making sure there is an under current of true vulnerability to the brilliant man.He is more than expertly supported by a fine cast of wonderful actors that includes the gorgeous,talented Jennifer Connelly(who won a best supporting actress oscar for her roll.) as Nash's wife Alicia.Ed Harris as the shadowy William Parcher, veteran actor Christopher Plummer and brit Paul Bettany as one of Nash's friends who is also not all he appears to be.

Mention must also go to screenwriter Akiva Goldsman's fantastic script which he has adapted from biographer Sylvia Nasar's book.it's surprising considering this is the man who penned the scripts for such dire travesties as the awful 'Batman and Robin' and the terrible 'Lost in Space'.This is the work of a man who has more of a knack at telling true human stories.Not fantastical sci-fi or action adventure movies.

Final recognition however must go to Ron Howard who has crafted a haunting testament of one man's life and the obstacles that he would have to over come.Howard,aided by Goldman's script does an excellent job of hiding the true facts of what is really happening to Nash,before hitting the audience with the reality of the situation like a ton of bricks.It's a revelation that is genuinely well done and shocking.

Some critics have criticised Howard and Goldsman for taking some artistic license in the presentation of the events of Nash's life.It does after all seem to pave over the fact that the handsome young scientist was supposedly bisexual as well.Such quibbles in the end however are minor and critics must remember that this is simply just a movie.At the end of the day what Howard and Goldsman are setting out to to do is to entertain an audience.Anyone who wishes to know the total truth about what happened to Nash should watch a documentary.

The movies only real flaw that it gets a little too 'Hollywood' for my liking towards the end.That said this is still an excellent example of a brilliant film about one mans struggle against adversity.The fact that the movie is based on a true story simply makes it all the more inspiring.Howard and the cast of actors he had assembled should be more than proud of what they have accomplished.My one complaint is that even though it was a wonderful movie it should never have won best picture at the 2002 oscars.That honor should have gone to Peter Jackson's awe inspiring adaptation of 'The Lord of the Rings:The Fellowship of the Ring'.That aside I still recommend that you see one of Ron Howard's best movies to date.Chances are you won't be disappointed.

Robs Rating: * * * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Ten very different strangers,a chauffeur and an 80's actress he is driving,a cop with a convict in his custody,a newly married couple,a call girl and a middle aged couple with a young boy become stranded in a motel during a terrible storm.Things take a turn for the worse however when each of them begin to be brutally murdered by an unknown killer.As the night rolls on and their numbers dwindle they begin to realize that they have more in common than meets the eye.Is it all just a coincidence or is there some ingenious, depraved mind that has some how set thing up so that all of them would meet in the motel?

This in not so much your typical slasher movie than a well made psychological thriller which has obviously been inspired by Agathe Christies novel 'Ten little Niggers'(which was changed to 'Ten little Indians' for the big screen adaptation by those of a more politically correct nature).Not only that but there is also a hint that director James Mangold was also influenced by Alfred Hitchcock.The movies hotel is a grim reminder of one of his finest movies which was the infamous 'Psycho'.

The movies premise although strange (you'll understand what I mean when you see the movie) is by no means fairly original.Even it does rip of Christie and Hitchcock's work a fair bit.A good edge of your seat script from screen scribe Michael Cooney and smooth direction from Mangold certainly don't hurt the movie.They're aided by great performances from a good cast that includes John Cusack,Ray Liotta,Amanda Peet(The Whole Nine Yards),Alfred Molina(Maverick) and 'Scrubs' own John C.McGinley in a more geeky roll.

Sadly however the movies title is a bit of a give away and didn't make the task of working out one of the movies plot twists very hard.The fact as well that all ten people are somehow linked made part of the outcome a bit obvious.That said however the second twist does take you by surprise and would certainly demand a second viewing just so you could get all those clues that you missed the first time around.

The end result is an above average thriller that is not with out it's faults.Let's be honest.There's been far worse thriller's than this that have been made in the past.You need only look at the likes of the dull 'Primal Fear' and the predictable,lame dud that was 'Sliver'.Trust me if you want a good nights entertainment I would suggest this.It's not perfect but you won't be totally disappointed.

Robs Rating: * * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Five young strangers go to live in a house in the deep woods for six months.Isolated and miles away from no where their motivation is the fact that thay are taking part in a small scale reality programme.Cameras are strategically placed around the house and the prize for making it through the six months is a cool $1 million.There are of course rules to the game.The most important being that if one of the contestants leaves the confines of the house, everybody else immediately forfeits from gaining the prize sum.It becomes the ultimate test of the Quintets mental and emotional endurance.Particularly when one of the strangers, Danny's(Stephen O'Reilley) grandfather dies for instance and a lone wanderer comes by the house and leaves(not before making an impression on one of the twenty somethings).But most of all when tragedy strikes one of the five.Soon though the truth begins to unravel about the mysterious game the five players are taking part in and the enigmatic benefactors who constructed it.

What was it that somebody said art imitating life.I can't remember.But in some way thats what 'My Little Eye' as it seems sets out to do.Of course the premise while simple and not bad might not be altogether far fetched.Sure there is no way that a major television station would allow what occurs in the movie to happen.Who knows what some sick mind out there would have in mind.That aside though is the film any good.In short I would have to say absolutely not.The premise while quite good is about one of the very few and I mean very few things that could be said for this complete waste of time and money(At least in my opinion).

For what is about three thirds of the movie we the audience are mostly subjected to utter tedium as the movies five protaganists go about their business and get on each others and to some extent our nerves.To be quite honest I have had more enjoyment watching the likes of 'Big Brother'.The film makers through out in some way attempts to show the greed,egotism and selfishness of the characters as well as their clear shallowness.The inclusion of a lone hitch hiker called Bradley(Travis Patterson)who happens by the house(or so it wuld seem at first)only wakes you from your hypnotic state for about a minute before you're lulled in to that state by the sheer monotony of the movie.The fact that Bradly gets it on with one of the female contestants lifted my spirits mometarilly before I realised that it wasn't supposed to an adult blue movie.Although I suppose It's supposed to be a commentary made by director Marc Evans on the voyeurism of reality tv in today's society.

By having little happen for most of the movie Evans I believe is trying to make his movie as close to the thing as possible as well as make a commentary perhaps in horror movies and the media in some way.But over all what we get is a dull snooze fest which is an hour and a half too long.In the movies favor it does carry great performances from a cast of fresh faced unknowns and the direction is eerily authentic.You do believe you're watching the real thing.But by the movies grisly and what is supposed to a shocking and telling denounment about reality television you can't care less what Evans is trying to say.In selfishly trying to make a point Evans has forgotten the one and most important thing of all when it comes to film making.To entertain and in the case of it's genre,chill and thrill.Making satire and putting across a message is one thing and is very worthy when done well.But when it becomes a labored,somewhat self indulgent piece of rubbish like this it just results in a piece of trash no one cares abouts.

If in the end you want to see a creepy,tense horror flick I would recommend the likes of Wes Craven's 'Scream' or 'Final Destination 2'.On the other hand if you want to see a satirical movie on the likes of reality tv look no further than 'ED TV' or maybe even another earlier film that covers the media called 'Network'.Both are superior movies and put across their point a good deal better.Most importantly though, they're both entertaining.

Robs Rating: *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

A counter terrorist orginisation called Black Cell which is headed by the charismatic,yet ruthless Gabriel Shear(John Travolta) plans to hack in to a dummy corporation which was shut down by the DEA in 1986.Over the years the corporation codenamed SWORDFISH has amassed a fortune worth $9.5 billion in interest.With the money Shear plans to fund his groups personal war against global terrorism.To help him achieve his goal he hires Stanley Jobson(Hugh Jackman),a convicted computer hacker who has just been released on parole.All Jobson wants is to see his estranged daughter who lives with his ex-wife.The only problem is Jobson cannot afford the legal fees so that he can see her, explaining his motivation behind doing the job for Shear.Jobson's task is made all the more difficult by CIA Agent Roberts(Don Cheadle)who is forever shadowing him.It's not long before Jobson's daughter's life comes in to the equation.Putting more pressure on our hero.

'Swordfish' had a short lived stay at the box office.Mainly due to the fact that it was pulled from cinemas as a result of the tragic terrorist attack on the Twin Towers in New York on September 11th.Understandable considering the delicate subject matter. I was one of those few punters who managed to see the movie before the events of that fateful day and to say that he movie being pulled was of no great loss is a bit of an understatement in my view.

Opening promisingly with a jaw dropping explosion which uses the astonishing bullet time effects that were used to such mesmerising effect in 'The Matrix',Director Dominic Sena's movie sadly falls apart after that.Sena who gave us the lack-lustre remake of 'Gone in Sixty Seconds' with Nicholas Cage makes another blunder with this turkey.Another flick where substance takes a back seat to the substance.What with it's retro/thrah metal soundtrack for starters and occasional action sequence how could this be anything but a victim of style taking over from a decent plot.Which Sena had attemped to produce at first.

The problem with the movie is that is just so uninspired and doesn't really offer anything new.(apart from the fact that the villains are this time a counter terrorist organisation).Cliche after cliche is hurled at the screen.The charismatic villain,the femme fatale who hangs on his arm but is supposedly attracted to the hero,the hero has a daughter who he wants to see and is eventually exploited so the villains get their own way.Even the movies jaw dropping yet stupid scene near the end involving a bus being hauled through the city streets can do little to rescue the film.Plus the movies supposed twist in it's denounment just had me leaving the theatre scratching my head in bewilderment.Needless to say I wouldn't give it to much thought.I didn't in the end.Why the cast agreed to star in this bunch of baloney is beyond me.

A mostly good cast which comprised of John Travolta putting in another villanous turn as the venomous Gabriel Shear was sadly wasted.Travolta although as good as he is doesn't seem to have muck luck when it comes to playing villains.Although fantastic in his earlier action flick 'Broken Arrow' that too was something of a dud.Perhaps he should stick to playing good guys or find a script with a villanous part for him that does justice to his talent as an actor.

Hugh Jackman, an actor of effortless charisma was also misued on a script that did him no favors.The austrailian star who was fantastic as the rugged Wolverine in 'X-men' could be a huge star but certainly needs a hit outside of the superhero franchise.His turn as Jobson was great and the actor did a good job of making Jobson a likable hero.

Don Cheadle as the CIA agent hot on Jobsons tail wass also wasted while Halle Berry as Ginger the femme fatale who approaches Jobson to do the job is an actress who deserved this kind of film foisted upon her.The less said about her gratuitous topless scene the better.God only knows how much she earned for that little scene alone.

Any one who payed the entrance fee to see Vinnie Jones(who was seen in 'Gone in Sixty Seconds' as one of the terrorists will sorely be disappointed as he has little to do or say through out the movie.He comes across as merely the token 'hard' henchman who simply needs to look scary.Not much of a stretch for our Vinnie I have to admit.

I won't waste any more of my time or yours going in to why this film was such a let down.Needless to say if you want to see a good thriller that involves terrorism in some way then I would reccommend the far superior 'Arlington Road'.A film with a twist in it's tail that would certainly blow you away.I suggest that Sena take heed as it's a lesson in how a tense,palm seating thriller should be made.

Robs Rating: *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

M.Night Shyamalan is certainly a writer and director with a formidable imagination.Quickly he is also gaining a reputation that is also comparing him to the likes of Alfred Hitchcock.Although I don't neccecarily agree with the comparison he is a man not lacking in talent as a movie maker.His first film since his first major hit 1999's 'The Sixth Sense',which starred Bruce Willis 'Unbreakable' is one part supernatural thriller and one part superhero movie.A unique combination to be certain.

The movie tells the story of husband and father David Dunn(Bruce Willis once again)who is the sole survivor of what is a horrific train crash.What's more not only does Dunn survive the wreck but he comes out of it completly unscathed.A phenomenon that baffles doctors and everyone else around David.It's a few days later that Dunn is approached by Elijah Price(Samuel L.Jackson).A middle aged man who suffers from a rare brittle bone condition that confines him to a wheel chair.A comic book collector in his spare time,Price believes that Dunn is a genuine superhero and sets out to convince him of that.How else could have Dunn been the only survivor of the wreck and come out of it without a single scratch.Soon Price has Dunns son Joseph(Spencer Treat Clark)convinced and his wife Audrey(Robin Wright Penn)concerned as even Dunn himself begins to wonder if he really is what Price says he is.

The early promise that Shyamalan shows in 'Unbreakable' is sadly all we get.He takes what is an inspired and promising premise and squanders it on what is lacking in anything truly watchable.The writer and director spends so much time attempting to build atmosphere and tension that he allows for little to actually happen.Anything that does occur is very rare.The performances for the most part are highly commendable and the dialogue as is usual with Shyamalan is first rate.But it does not detract from the fact that so much could have been improved on in the movies script.Like for anything remotely interesting to occur throughout most of the movie.There is the added hinderance of there being a couple of scenes that sadly don't ring true and could have been handled a lot better.Bruce Willis does an alright Job but the acting honors go to the rest of the cast that includes Wright Penn,Spencer Treat Clark and the always watchable Jackson who gives another inspiring performance as Price who we immediatly find pity with.

While the movies final twist is unquestionably surprising and indeed very clever you will ultimately feel sadly wanting . With the rest of the movie being as dull and lifeless as it is you can't help but feel cheated by what should have been an excellent supernatural thriller.

Robs Rating:* *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

This has to be the modern day equivalent of Dracula being paired up against Frankenstein's monster or the Wolfman.Two of the contemporary film worlds most iconic slasher movie characters Freddy Kruger(Robert Englund)and Jason Vorhees(No Kane Hodder this time but Ken Kirzinger)paired off together in the one movie.It was a project that was so much talked about for years that I never thought New Line cinema would get around to do doing it.But I was wrong.After much chat and hype, director Ronny Yu decided that he wanted to be the man who would be pulling the strings on the hotly anticipated pairing.New Lines decision to allow Yu to direct has been one that I am glad to say that has payed off fairly well.

The premise concerns Freddy who was supposed to have been put to rest,well and truly for good at the end of 'Freddy's Dead:The Final Nightmare' trying to escape from the bowels of hell.The problem is that he can't return to Springwood where he terrorised the towns children in their nightmares as people have stopped thinking about him.Apparently Kruger obtains his power from the fear of the children.So Kruger decides that he must get someone to start killing off the children of Springwood so they begin to remember him again.So what better way to do that than to search the darkest regions of hell for someone to send up and start the killing all over again.Freddy ofcourse find the infamous Camp Crystal Lake killer,Jason Vorhees who he manipulates(In the image of Jason's mother) so that he rises from the dead to go to Springwood.It is then after the killing of three innocent people by Jason that news gets to a young man,Will Rollins(Jason Ritter) who has been incarcerated in a mental institution.One of the teenage girls,Lori Campbell(Monica Keena)who was at a party where one of the victims was murdered is an old friend he has not seen in four years.Not only that but the house where the boy was murdered is Freddy's old house where he lived on Elm Street.Will with the help of one of his pals Mark(Brendan Fletcher) who is also an inmate escape to go back to Springwood and warn Lori and eveyone else that they think Freddy might be coming back.What Lori does not know yet though when she Finally sees Will again is that Will is certain that he saw Lori's father who is a psychiatrist, murder her mother and that is why he belives he was put away in the asylum.Meanwhile the killings increase and slowly but surely Freddy begins to regain his power and thus begins to haunt the dreams of some of Springwoods inhabitents.But things don't nessecarily go according to plan for Freddy and as a result a confrontation with Jason begin to seem inevitable.A battle between the two undead fiends where winner takes all.

This is actually better than you might expect.There are those out there who would have been contemplating that this would be an absolute disaster.Thankfully however it is not.Sure there are discepencies in the movie.The script's dialogue early on is patchily constructed and it's plot while quite good for the genre,contradicts the last movie where Kruger was supposed to have finally been put to death.Jasons return from the dead seems all too easy as well and I can't help but think it would have taken more than Krugers manipulation to achieve that.That said Yu's direction is is good and the movie is certainly fast paced while keeping it's tongue firmly in it's cheek.Visually the movie cannot be faulted either.The special effects are amazing and a scene where Freddy battles Jason in his own dream is awe inspiring.The performances for the most part are actually pretty good with Destiny's Child pop-star Kelly Rowland doing fairly well in her big screen debut as one of the supporting characters.The rest of the cast that contains Jason Ritter(Son of John),Brittany Murphy look a like Monica Keena and Canadian actress Katherine Isabelle (who you might have seen in 'Ginger Snaps')don't do a bad job at all.Robert Englund again is fun to watch and as always he relishes his role and never takes it too seriously.

As for who wins.Well I wouldn't wan't to spoil it for you but in the end it's kind of obvious when you think about it.I will say this though.Even though both character are evil.Jason in my mind is quite clearly the good guy of the film.Just watch the film and you'll see why.

When you get the chance I recommend you get it out on DVD or video.It's not a bad movie but I wouldn't waste my money on the admission price and the popcorn.It's a good movie to watch with your mates and have a laugh at.Thats pretty much what the movie goes for rather than the scares.

Robs Rating:* * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

It is in the grand tradition of the very best of the king of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock that B-movie screen scribe Larry Cohen wrote the screenplay for 'Phone Booth'.A concept thriller that is not totally dissimilar to one of Hitchcocks classics.That being 'Rear Window' which starred regular Hitchcock star James Stewart.That took the simple premise of a wheelchair bound man who sits in his apartment and spys on his neighbours in the flat opposite with his binoculars.The result being that he unwittingly believes to have witnessed the brutal murder of a neighbours wife.

It's not completely without surprise then that Cohen pitched 'Phone Booth' to the master of suspense back in the 70's.Sadly however Hitchcock passed and went on to direct 'Family Plot' which was his final movie.

It wasn't until more recently that director Joel Schumacher(whose movies were as diversive as his eighties teen horror flick 'The Lost Boy's' up to the brilliant satirical thriller 'Falling Down' which starred Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall)decided that he wanted to direct an updated version of Cohen's script.The result would be a highly favourable one.

The movies slight but fantastic premise involves a New york publicist by the name of Stuart Shepard(A brilliant Colin Farell).Shepard is the personification of the anti-hero.A,smarmy, arrogant,manipulative S.O.B. who coasts through life with little or no care for those around him.He lies not only to his clients but his loving wife Kelly(Radha Mitchell).Stu has a simple every day routine.Each day he visits a near by Phone Booth(which as mentioned in the movies prologue is to be pulled down)so that he may call a struggling waitress/actress called Pamela (Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes) who he wishes to seduce.The reason for Stu's use of a phone Booth is that Kelly see's all of her husbands cell phone records and bills.

What happens next though when Stu hangs up the phone after his conversation with Pamela is what reels the audience in.Stu makes the mistake of picking up the phones reciever when it begins to ring.On the other end is the movies sinister caller(Kieffer Sutherland)who tells Stu that he is armed with a rifle and that if the obnoxious publicist hangs up he will be shot and killed.Like wise if our 'anti-hero' attempts to call the police, again he will be killed.This is not totally unlike the premise of the Jan De Bont actioneer 'Speed' starring Keanu Reeves(If the bus drops below 50 it will explode.If you attempt to remove any passengers from the bus it will explode).To prove the point even further.When Reeve's first reieves a call from the movies villain as played by Dennis Hopper in the movie, it is from a phone Booth.

What possible reason or motivation the caller might have for doing this to Stu is not what you might think.Immediately you are thinking that he he is a client that the smarmy publicist has wronged in some way.But that would be all too easy and obvious an answer.All too easy for someone as clever as Cohen who does the wise job of quickly erasing all possible causes or reason from our heads.straight away Cohen sets the cogs in our brains in motion.Never forgetting in his script to up the tension that bit more.Immediatly, beacuse we have seen how much of a manipulative bastard that Stu is, we side with the caller.But it is down to the combined manipulative talents of Cohen as a writer,Schumacher as a director and Ireland's own Colin Farrel as the obnoxious Stu that our loyalties shift and we begin to root for Shepard.It's all about the lesser of two evils as we find later on in the movie.

Farell does the impossible.He manages to make Stu who we have seen thus far to be a complete arsehole,to be a likable human being with real conscience and emotions.Not an easy task but Farrel does it with raw talent and nerve.We actually begin to question how much of a creep Stu really is.He is of course aided by a good script from Cohen and what's more a first rate supporting cast.

Of course as the movie plays out the police get involved and what better actor to portray one of New York's finest than the underrated black actor Forest Whitaker who was last seen in David Fincher's 'Panic Room'.although a flawed character, it is in the roll of Captain Ramey that Whitaker offers a parallel to the even more flawed man that Stu is.Ramey is basicly a decent guy who's obsessive dedication to his job resulted in the end of his marriage.

Kudos must also go to Radha Mitchell and Katie Holmes who offer stalwart support.Last but not least being Sutherland who is fantastic as the mysterious caller.Being limited to using only his voice, Sutherland somehow manages to make the caller a believable force to be reckoned with.Although quite obviously unhinged,Sutherland through his vocal talent is able to convince us that there is some sort of sound and clever mind beyond the insanity.A deadly combination indeed.

Ultimately though this is writer, Cohen's movie.Without his script there would be no movie.That said however it is not without it's flaws.Too many immediate questions are left unawnsered.Such as how the caller knew so much about Stu's private life.That and the movies denounment seems a little uninventive and lazy.That said this is an above average thriller that utilises a simple premise to good effect.I only hope that future aspiring directors and screenwriters take note.

Robs Rating:* * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

It seems fashionable at the moment in Hollywood for filmmakers to come up with a trilogy of films. What with the likes of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Matrix movies raking in the big bucks. It comes as no surprise that screen scribe Adam Herz would want to bring most of the cast from the previous two movies in the series for this final outing. That is it should be the final in the series if Herz is wise.

The story this time around focus's on the impending nuptials of Jim Levinstein(Jason Biggs)and Michelle Flaherty(Alyson Hannigan) who got together at the end of A.P.2. With the help of his friends from the last two movies, Jim tries to prepare the upcoming wedding while trying to impress his future in laws.Cue once again a series of comedic set pieces as Finch and Stifler struggle for the affections of Michelle's attractive,cultured younger sister Cadence(January Jones).Not forgetting incidents involving strippers at a bachelor party,Stifler dancing with a homosexual man at a gay night club,dog humping and dog shit to name just a few.With Jim's eccentric Dad(Eugene Levy) there to offer much needed wisdom and fatherly advice.Things couldn't get any worse.Or could they?

Being the conclusive part in the American Pie trilogy, some would hope for the whole of the last two instalments cast to be involved.I personally am not that disappointed that Chris Klein,Mena Suavari,Tara Reid and Natasha Lyonne chose not to sign up for this outing.None of the above characters were really funny enough to want to be seen a third time.Suavari most of all.Herz's decision to not even offer an explanation to why these characters don't make it to the wedding at all sadly smacks of laziness on his part.No mention is given to any of Jim's so called pals at all.It's as if they had never existed.

On the plus side though it is good to see the franchise's funnier, more amusing characters brought back for a third piece of pie.Jason Biggs is as endearingly and charmingly befuddled as ever as Jim while Eddie Kaye Thomas is fun as the slightly nerdy, yet cultured and charming Paul Finch.Thomas Ian Nicholas sadly though proves to be the weak link in the chain as Kevin.His performance as Kevin is decent enough but his character although mildly amusing is no where near as memorable as those others around him.This is more than made up though by Seann William Scotts once again scene stealing performance as the smarmy and obnoxious Stifler. It's Stifler who is the centre point for most of the movies most amusing moments.

Where the movie is let down is in it's mediocrity.Much of the movies set pieces though amusing enough,lack inspiration and have a sense of de ja vu about them.Lets face facts. Scenes involving bachelor parties and strippers have been done so many times in other movies of this ilk.One such movie being 1984's 'Bachelor Party'. The movies earlier scenes also feel rushed as if Herz was trying to hurry proceedings along too quickly. Stifler's earlier scenes when we see him for the first time appear a little sloppy and certainly could have done with some fine tuning. That said Stifler's insincere attempts too get inside Michelle's sister Cadence's knickers early on as he turns on the sickingly sweet charm are worth a titter or two.Watching the usually in your face creep fawn over Cadence's parents is worth a look in.What also is amusing is the movies sense of irony as Cadence appears to become slightly interested in Finch when he pretends to act like Stifler.Thus winding up the big goof ball who has been really putting on the charm.

An opportunity that is sadly missed though is in upping the screen time of another scene stealing character.The chance to give Jim's Dad played with lovable,eccentric charm by Eugene Levy more to do is one that is reprehensibly wasted.The scenes that we do get with Jim's old man don't quite reach the heights of merriment that we recieved in the previous movies.

In the end though the movies conclusion is a bit too anti-climatic for my liking. The wedding service it self pretty much goes with out a hitch.The opportunity to allow for something to go awry during the service or the reception is unfortunately missed.Not only that but a couple of losse ends involving a couple of the characters are left up in the air and with no real closure,while the inclusion of Stiflers Mom(Jennifer Coolidge)in the movies climax feels to be gratuitous if not a little repetetive.Oh, and what happend to Sherman aka the Sherminator.It's a shame that Herz could not have included his character to the script.Maybe even up his part a little.He would have made a more entertaining character than Kevin after all.

In the end American Pie: The Wedding is not a bad end to a successful movie series. It does suffer from what befalls most third movies in a franchise.Just look at Scream 3 and Lethal Weapon 3.But with good direction by Jesse Dylan,decent performances and decent enough amount of laughs this is a reasonable enough if not totally successful conclusion to a trilogy.

Robs Rating: * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

It was in 1993 that the world's box office tills were ringing like they hadn't rung before.This was down to the fact that Steven Spielbergs multi-million dollar dinosaur movie 'Jurassic Park' was breaking box office records world wide to become the highest grossing picture of all time.It's a film that would ultimately pull in over $900 million world wide. It's any wonder then that this modest little movie,'Benny and Joon' which was released in cinema theatres around the same time managed to find an audience.After all with the likes of the Mel Gibson,Jodie Foster Comedy/Western 'Maverick' and Arnold Schwarzeneggers 'Last Action Hero' failing at the box office it was some wonder that this managed to pull in some cinema goers.The fact however that this was a low budget movie may have worked in its favor, considering it would not have had to rake in a vast amount of cash to break even.

While the likes of 'Jurassic Park','Last Action Hero' and so on relied a lot on flashy special effects and amazing stunts to pull in the crowds.'Benny and Joon' relied more on good old fashioned story telling that came from a fresh and original script and a good cast of talented actors.

The movie told the story of Benny and Juniper(Joon)Pearl(Aiden Quinn and Mary Stuart Masterson),a brother and sister who live in a small town.Benny who works as a mechanic and runs his own garage has had to make some sacrifices in his life to try and look after Joon as she is mentally ill.This means that the devoted brother who is in to his thirties has had no time for a relationship with a woman and is therefore unmarried.The fact that Joon has driven away every house keeper that Benny has employed to watch her and the house while he is busy at work has not helped matters for him either.

Then one night when Benny is playing poker with some of his pals. One of his so called pals ropes Joon in to the game when her brothers back is turned. Mike(Joe Grifasi)bets Joon that if he wins the next hand, that she and Benny must take Mike's eccentric cousin Sam(A wonderful Johnny Depp) off of his hands. Of course what happens is that Joon loses much to Benny's dismay when he finds out.Benny though begrudgingly takes in Sam to live with them.Sam proves to be a rather odd individual who is iliterate and models himself on the silent screen legends Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. He mimics their most ingenius, physical comedic routines and even uses them to do the house work in Benny and Joons home.Benny is of course against Sam from the word go but events take shape so that Benny meets and falls in love with a beautiful waitress named Ruthie(Julianne Moore).Meanwhile, unknown to Benny a odd little romance begins to develop between Joon and Sam.The over protective Benny as you can imagine will not be best pleased when he finds out.

This is a lovely,quirky little movie. Something in the vain of 'Harold and Maude' but with out the black adult humour.This is the story of an odd relationship that somehow works even though one of the movies protaganists is mentally challenged and the other is a bit off the wall.What makes the movie work so well are the performances from a great cast.Aiden Quinn who is a wonderful actor makes for a sympathetic and likeable lead while Mary Stuart Masterson gives a gentle,cooky child like performance in the challenging roll of Joon.The movie ultimately though belongs to Johnny Depp whose performance as the eccentric yet endearing Sam is simply breathtaking.Depp who is one of Hollywoods most versatile actors manages to mimic the brilliant routines of Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin with uncanny ability.His facial expressions as he performs every prat fall is so much like those kings of the silent movie era that it's quite scary.Only one other actor who have witnessed on celluloid has managed to do this and that is Robert Downey Jr.

Depp however is aided by a good script that was penned by Barry Berman and Lesley McNeil.The way these two screen scribes manage to have Sam perform his routines during the most everyday routines of visiting a cafe or taking a walk in a park is ingenius in it's simplicity.It's partly down to their talents as writers that Sam is such a real and engaging character.Berman and McNeil also take on the brave and difficult task of creating a light comedic Drama/Romance that deals with the rather tricky subject of mental illness.They at once treat the topic with the warmth and sensitivity that it deserves and are not afraid to show the dark side to the illness in what is for the most part a rather up beat movie.Joon is treated as a person and not someone who should be mocked.Her unique relationship with Sam also is a subject that is treated with odd dignity and pathos.Berman and McNeil also make the wise choice of down playing any hints of a sexual relationship between the too which might have hindered the movie.Any Physicality is in the gentle brushing together of the couples faces or in the holding of hands.

Final recognition must also go to Julianne Moore who gives a lovely performance as Ruthie, the waitress and former B-movie actress who falls for Benny. It's Ruthie who Benny wants but even though she is what he wants he feels she is unattainable.The loyal brother feels bound by his duty to his sister and though he wants the lovely waitress so badly, his sister Joon is always stamped on the back of his mind.Ruling his conscience.It is however the growing romance and it's normality that creates a wonderful parallel to the eccentricity of that which grows between Sam and Joon.

It is only in the movies denounment that Berman and McNeil botch things up. Benny is forced to ask for Sams help when Joon is admitted to a mental institution after she freaks out on a bus with her quirky boyfriend.Benny and Sam sneak in to the hospital as the mechanic is barred from seeing his sister.Benny only wants the chance to try and reconcile with his sister with whom he has fallen out of favor with.Its what occurs between, Benny, Joon and her Psychiatrist Dr.Garvey (CCH Pounder)that stretches credibility.The final decision she makes when it comes to the mentally ill Joons well fare asks for us to swallow something that is quite hard to digest.a shame rally as what has gone before was so good.The movie sadly ends on a note that just doesn't quite work and asks a fair amount from the audience believe.Plus the movies title of 'Benny and Joon' is a bit misleading considering it's also very much about Sam as well as the two siblings.But that is a minor fault.

That said this is still a lovely little movie.A far cry from the multi-million dollar blockbusters that hit our screens every year.Its not perfect but in retrospect it's a good deal better than some of the overly hyped popcorn movies that don't always meet with our expectations.If you like your movies to be a little quirky and different then I would suggest you look no further than 'Benny and Joon.'

Robs Rating:* * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Earlier this year saw the release of yet another big screen adaptation of a comic strip character.This time it was one of the lesser known creations that came from the pages of Stan Lee's Marvel comics.This character was none other than 'Daredevil'.

Helmed by little known Director and screenwriter Mark Steven Johnson who penned the script, it tells the story of Matt Murdock(Ben Affleck).An idealistic lawyer Murdock attempts to put those criminals who pray on the innocent behind bars rather than try and make a quick buck getting them off the hook.In short he is a lawyer with a conscience.A rare thing in today's society.What makes him especially unique however is the fact that he is blind and a costumed vigilante going by the name of 'Daredevil'.How is this possible?

When Matt was a young boy growing up in the streets of New York's Hell's Kitchen he was involved in an accident involving a huge drum of chemical waste.The drum sprung a leak, squirting Matt in the eyes and permanently blinding him.However when he was blinded,Matts remaining senses somehow became razor sharp.Giving him an uncanny kind of radar sense.Matt then went on to train his body his other senses so that he could use them more effectively.Turning himself in to a human fighting machine.

Shortly after he gains these powers, Matts father(David Keith)a struggling two-bit boxer who was forced to become a loan shark for the mob is killed when he refuses to take a dive under the orders of the mobs evil leader.From that day Matt swears that he will use his powers to protect the innocent and the poor.Those people who cannot afford justice.It is then that he becomes 'Daredevil'.

Director Mark Steven Johnsons ode to one of Marvel comics more obscure characters is a unquestionable mess from beginning to end.Johnson has only him self to blame here.After all not only did he direct this but he also wrote the script.Giving his movie just over an hour and a half of running time he gives himself little time to fully and successfully incorporate all of the movies most important characters in to the story.(What there is of it).Johnson spends so much time telling the story of how the Daredevil's origins,his current life as a lawyrer and in developing his relationship with love interest Elektra King(Jennifer Garner)that when he gets round to the villains he leaves little time to give them much to do.Bullseye(Colin Farrel)the Irish assassin with a talent for turning any object in to a lethal weapon is poorly constructed as a character and is never given any real motivation.He comes across as a sadly two-dimensional character.Farrel is fantastic never the less and clearly tries to have fun with what is a badly written,under used character.Michael Clarke Duncan as the movies chief villain, the crime boss Wilson Fisk aka Kingpin is also under used.We again get a badly developed character without any real motivation.He is just simply bad.It is never fully explained why he wants Elektra's father killed.It's as if Johnson simply want's us to just accept it.Duncan never the less does a good enough job under the circumstances.

As for the action sequences.They don't come very often.A mistake made again by the film's far too short running time.When they do come along they're either too short or ropey for my liking.

As for the romance between Matt and Elektra.I couldn't help but feel that it was all a little too forced and rushed.They both fall in love far too quickly.Affleck is passable in the lead roll.He makes for a stead fast enough hero while Garner is indeed engaging and not with out charm as Elektra.I found it hard to feel any sympathy for Matt however and feel any justification for him becoming 'Daredevil'.He comes across at times as being a scared little boy who can't get over the fact that his fathers death was mostly the old man's own fault.Instead he puts the blame completely on the shoulders of the crooks.His father couldn't seem to take his own advice and get a good steady job.Instead he becomes a crooked loan shark to make ends meet and is eventually killed because he was too stupid to take a dive in a fight like any one in their right mind would have done.

In the end 'Daredevil' suffers from a poorly constructed screenplay.It lacks any real pace and is quite simply all over the place.Johnson clearly knows little about character development and how to make a well paced sturdy action adventure movie.If this is any thing to go by I can only hope that Johnsons stint in Hollywood is a short lived one.

Robs Rating: *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

*WARNING* POSSIBLE SPOILERS

I believe it was John Cleese who quite openly stated some time ago that he regarded 'Monty Python's The Meaning of Life' to be 'Something of a cock up'.Basicly a series of sketches beginning with birth right up to death and the after life.This last entry for the Python team is merely a series of unconnected surreal skits(That only they could do) with the running theme of the meaning of life.Having seen it I think Cleese was being a little hard on himself and the rest of his colleagues.Sure 'The Meaning of Life' is the weakest in the series of the Python movies.But compared to some of the movies the likes Cleese, Idle, Palin and the rest made after it it's a simple masterpiece.There's Graham Chapmans's very last movie,'Yellowbeard' for instance or Eric Idle's dire 'Splitting Heir's'.Both embarrassing travesty's in their own rights.

Indeed this is a mixed bag of a movie.There are some fairly embarrassing moments that make you wonder what the team were smoking when they were sitting around the table and brainstorming ideas.There is for example the hideous sight of Chapman dressed in some bizarre brightly colored corset, stockings and wig.Wearing makeup,very much like David Bowie would have worn as Ziggy Stardust.With him is Terry Jones dressed in what apears to be a waiters costume with incredibly long arms.Both of them are warbling on with over the top voices about looking for a fish.You know.Something like 'Where's Wally' but more disturbing.The whole scene is just ridiculous and to top it all of we have some elephant like abomination thrown on to the screen to freak us out even more.

The scene set during the crimean war doesn't help either.Something to do with a soldier who's leg has been stolen by a tiger.Sadly these are not the only scenes.There's a sketch involving a birth in a hospital that partly sends up 'Dr.Kildare' that is just down right baffling at times.This is just one more in a number of less than inspired moments.

But for those scenes that do not work there are those moments of inspired genius that only Cleese and Co. could come up with.The sketch set in Yorkshire with the working class family with too many kids that satarises the catholic church's attitude to contraception is an instant classic.The amazing song and dance routine, 'Every sperm is sacred' is brilliantly put together and performed.It just wonderfully sums up the ignorance and the naievity, not to mention the dogma of catholosism.It harkens back to the lampooning of the fanatacism in the christian faith that was seen in the superb 'Life of Brian'.One of the better Python efforts.

Then there's the other musical number 'The Galaxy Song' that makes you look at the possible insignificance of your life and it's problems when compared to the size and magnitude of the cosmos.It's a song brilliantly delivered by Eric Idle in a wonderfully surreal sketch that deals with the subject of live organ transplants.

But who can forget the repulsive sketch not too far from the end of the movie.The vomit inducing scene involving the most vile and repulsive character ever created by the Python team. The grotesque Mr.Creoste who is wonderfully and disgustingly played to perfection by Terry Jones.I won't say any more as it would spoil the surprise.Though I believe the reactions of the loyal fans out there might be quite mixed.It is a scene not for the easily offended and it's denouement is certainly jaw dropping.It also contains a little epilogue which will certainly upset some religously.

There is a poignant side to the movie.This of course was Graham Chapman's last movie with any of the Python team as he sadly passed away as a result of the AIDS virus shortly after the film and his very last feature 'Yellowbeard' were completed.It is very evident how ill Chapman was in a scene fairly late in the film where he looks quite gaunt.Not the way i'm sure we the fans or his close friends, relatives and colleagues would care to remember him.It's little wonder that a dedication was never placed at the end of the movie.

It's not hard to see why the Python's made this there last film.It seemed quite obvious that they were running out of ideas and were beginning to repeat themselves.It's funny when you look back now to see were each of the teams career moves took them afterwards.It seems safe to say that out of all the stars involved, Terry Gilliam had the most lucky and successful.Although now a big name director in Hollywood I think he would probably sooner forget the debacle that was the failed attempt to film his 'Don Coyote' project.

Anyway.If you get the chance try and get a hold of it on video or DVD,Or better yet if you see it's going to be screened on your nearest television station. Tape or watch it.It's worth seeing.If only for those brief flashes of Python genius.It's a shame you have to wallow through some lamer moments.But trust me.The moments that do work are worth the wait.

Robs Rating:* * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Rom coms are common place these day's.Common place and quite a mixed bag.No sooner have both 'Two weeks notice' and 'Maid in Manhattan' left our local cinema screens then this effort from director Donald Petrie is foisted on unsuspecting movie patrons.It's the story of two young successful New York inhabitees,Ben Barry(Matthew McConaughey)and Andie Anderson(Kate Hudson).Andie who is a columnist for a womans magazine is struggling to come up with a new brilliant article to impress her boss and editor(Bebe Newirth).It's when her clingey pal is dumped by her boyfriend that inspiration hits her.She will find a guy, reel him in, date him and then deliberately make all the mistakes that some woman do that loses them their man.What she discovers will go in to her latest article, 'How to lose a guy in 10 Days'.

Meanwhile, Ben who is something of a lady's man is struggling to make a deal for himself with a major jewlery company.Two female competitors already have the deal but Ben plans to change all that.To make the deal come through he must convince the company's boss that he could sale himself to any woman.It's with that in mind that Ben makes a bet that he can make any woman he want's fall in love with him.The boss agrees and Ben must accomplish this so he can introduce the young lady to the company boss at a big promotional gala in about ten day's time.He challenges his two female competitors to choose the lucky young lady.Guess who it is the pair decide upon.

'How to Lose a guy in 10 day's' is not as good a movie as it would seem to be.Let's face facts here.The premise it self, while intriuging and slightly original is a bit far fetched.Are we really exspected to believe that Ben would actually fall for Andie.In reality she is a charming, intelligent, attractive woman.But let's face facts.After what she puts him through as her annoying alter ego it's a miracle he ever does.

Both actors give truly likeable and charismatic performances.McConaughey is as charming as ever.Being cocky but never the less endearing as does Kate Hudson who I have never watched before but having watched this hope to do so in the near future.If her performance in this is anything to go by she is as capable an actress as she is a beautiful one.She certainly seems to have inherited her mother Goldie Hawns talent for comedy.Both actors make amazing chemistry together.They are also brilliantly supported by a truly splendid cast of actors that includes Bebe Newirth(Lilith from 'Cheers' and 'Frasier' fame) and Adam Goldberg who you may have seen in 'A Beautiful Mind' and 'Saving Private Ryan'.

Sadly however that does not detract from the fact that this is a movie that is seriously in need of a script doctor.It just feels immensely contrived while the movie's climax where Ben chases after Andie(who after the whole affair has been revealed to the pair of them)who is leaving for Washington DC. in a taxi cab, just smacks of unoriginality. It's the sort of thing that we have seen in god knows how many Rom Coms in the past few years.Both stars certainly deserved better material to work with here.

If you want to see a decent romantic comedy this year you are better off watching 'Two weeks Notice'.While that movies star's(Hugh Grant & Sandra Bullock)are not the good actors that this movies pairing are it's a good deal better.I can only hope that McConaughey and Hudson both find a future movie that is deserving of their respective talents.

Robs Rating:* *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Danny Ocean(George Clooney)is a petty thief and con man who after serving about five years in prison is released on parole.Having just got out, Danny heads for LA where he hooks up with old friend and partner in crime Rusty Ryan(Brad Pitt), who is now teaching Hollywood brats how to play cards.

Danny tells Rusty that he wants him in on a plan to rob three major casino's in Las Vegas which are all owned by Pseudo-gangster Terry Benedict(A brilliant Andy Garcia).Together, the two hustlers with the help of a former casino owner named Reuben Tishkoff(A funny Elliott Gould)who finances the crime.They put together a team of men,eleven including themselves to pull off the crime.

Little does Rusty and the others realise however.Danny's ex-wife Trish(Julia Roberts)is none other than the new main squeeze of Benedict and is the main reason for Danny wanting to rob the casino's.He wants the woman he loves back and is prepared to risk everything for her.How long do you think it takes for Rusty and the others to find out?

Oceans Eleven is again one of those movies that is about style over substance.A remake of the sixties crime caper featuring the original 'Rat Pack' that comprised of Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr.,Dean Martin and one other guy who nobody ever seems to remember.Having not seen the original it's impossible therefore to compare this version to it's earlier predecessor.Which is probably a good thing.

Oceans Eleven isn't a great movie.Sure it's entertaining enough and is amusing in parts but it won't be classed as the best of it's director, Steven Soderbergh.It does contain much of the trademark syle and amazing cammera work that has already earned him the recognition he deserves.Then there is the fine ensemble cast that he has aquired.Pitt and Clooney are pretty good in their respective rolls but it's the rest of the cast that really impresses.Matt Damon is superb as Linus Caldwell, the young man who is the son of a former friend and assosciate of Danny and Rusty's.He brings the right amount of rebellious youth and gritty determination to make him a truly memorable character.Carl Reiner's performance as the retirement age crook, Saul is also first rate.He shows the younger guys that age doesn't nesecarrily mean you can't cut it among the young folk any more.The rest which include, Don Cheadle(Sporting a terrible cockney accent but is never the less good in his roll), Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck etc. are all great.

Special mention must go to Andy Garcia, who the odd one out as the bad guy of the piece(Even though he is the one being robbed).Puts in a charismatically sinister performance as Benedict.A ruthless, methodical man who uses the resources of his bank balance rather than muscle to get even with those who cross him.

Where the movie fails though is in much of the plot holes that are never quite covered.For instance, how at the end of the movie do Danny and the rest of his crew manage to get out of Las Vegas and out of the Nevada desert with the loot.Lets face facts.That is a hell of a lot of cash they're carrying and you would think Benedict would quickly call the authoritesie ie.The Police and tell them to keep a look out for men disguised as security gaurds in a fake van.Not only that but you would think that Trish, knowing Danny, would inform Benedict who she thinks she loves of who Danny is.Even though she would risk exposing her past to Benedict.Plus this is hardly an original story.Look at the long list of heist movies.'The Thomas Crown affair', both versions.City of Fire, Reservoir Dogs, Gone in Sixty seconds.All these are all more or less variations on basicly the same premise.Not only that, you would have thought that Soderbergh would have had a lesser known actress(Who could have been just as capable and talented) than Julia Roberts cast in the roll of Trish.She is not in it as much as would have been expected and feels to be under used.God knows how much her salary for the part must have come to but I bet it was a fortune.

Oceans Eleven isn't a bad two hour movie.It's actually quite fun in parts but it's not the sort of movie that I would think would have made a good night out to the pictures.Rather more a decent enough viewing on the couch with your partner in front of the TV.If you get the chance, watch it but don't feel too disgruntled if you don't get to see the flick.It's not as if you're missing a classic.

Robs Rating:* * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *SPOILERS*

It was back in 1985 that this oscar nominated picture from Australian director Peter Weir was released in cinemas world wide.The movie as far I can remember never won the best picture gong.It's star Harrison Ford also missed out(A shame I suppose even though he should win for a better movie)on the coveted best actor award.

The movie tells the story of LA police detective John Book(Harrison Ford)who is assigned to the case of finding the murderers of a fellow cop in a public Lavatory.The only witness to the crime is an eight year old Amish boy named Samuel Lapp(Lukas Haas) who was visiting the city with his mother, Rachel(The beautiful Kelly McGillis).The young mother was visiting the city with Samuel to pick up supplies for her people in the Amish community.

As Book looks in to the case it becomes more and more apparent that things are not quite what they seem.It transpires that the killers of the policeman(who happened to be working undercover) are in fact detectives themselves.Corrupt men who's own chief officer and supposed friend of John's is in on some kind of crooked plot.They realise that there can be no witness to what they did and proceed to try and kill the young boy.

Book ofcourse tries to protect the youngster and reveal the villains for who they really are but in doing so loses one of his colleagues, a close friend in the process.Not only that but John is severly wounded and is forced to go into hiding with Rachel and Samuel back in the Amish community.

Nursed back to help by Rachel and her father Eli(Jan Rubes),John tries to fit in to the Amish way of life while trying to figure out a way to defeat and expose his former allies.Meanwhile it begins to become apparent that strong feelings are also beginning to grow between John and Rachel.Can John have a future with Rachel, woman who comes from a society, miles different from that of John's?

Witness isn't as good a film as you would think.Sure the direction by Austrailian film maker Peter Weir is first rate and the detail put into creating the world that the Amish people live is a hundrerd per cent convincing.All round the performances from the ensemble cast is outstanding.If you look closely you may recognise Danny Glover, a truely great and under valued actor as one of the crooked cops who Ford takes on.You may also recognise Alexander Godunov who portrayed the evil bloned haired hench man of Alan Rickman in the orignal Die Hard movie.Here he play's a fellow Amish citizen and friend of the Lapp family.The chemistry between McGillis and Ford is also amazing and Haas is a genuinely endearing title character.The young 'Witness' who Ford must protect.

What lets the film down is it's pompous political correctness and naievity.We're asked by Weir to feel sympathy and understanding for the Amish which isn't completly easy to do.If how the Amish are represented is as accurate as it seems they are, then I'm certain in what I am about to say.

While there is some wisdom in the Amish way of life(Their hatred for guns and the simple life they lead),their is equal naievity.I am not a violent person and abhor violence.But the Amish attitude to not raise their fists in anger when provoked is a tad unreasonable.The scene where a band of the Amish accompanied by Book(disguised as one of them)are taunted by a a group of tourist thugs while they do nothing is a simple testament to that.

Weir also tries make us feel tollerance and understanding for a creed of people who quite simply have little, if any for us.You only need hear Eli Lapp and his chastising of the common American, if not most of the civallised world,referring to them as the English.I don't know about you but if he called any scotman where I live that they would knock the crap out of him.

Overall, 'Witness' is not a bads night entertainment but i'm certainly not surprised it never won the top prize at 1985's oscar ceremony.Lets face it.When compared to the likes of 'Silence of the Lambs','Dances with Wolves' or 'American Beauty' there simply is no comparison.I can only hope something like LOTR(Lord of the Rings)finally gets the true recognition it deserves.

Rating:* * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

What is it this year.No sooner has one sequel(Shanghai Knights) been and gone that was better than it's predecessor than we get another one.This time the movie happens to be the long awaited X-men 2,or X-2 as the film makers apear to have dubbed it.Having not liked the first movie which I fealt was a huge let down I was most pleasently surprised after watching this.

Starting off where the first movie finished X-2 opens on an attack on the American president in the White house by an unknown assassin.The Presidents bodyguards attempt to defend the countries leader to the best of their ability but the assassin is no mere man.He is quite obviously a mutant and one who's appearance is more inhuman than most. The creature, a German named Kurt Wagner(Played by Scots actor Alan Comming)uses his incredible powers of speed, agility and teleportation to despatch the presidents guards and break in to the oval office where he pins the terrified world leader to a desk while brandishing a massive dagger.It seem a fore gone conclusion that Wagner is about to stab the President with the weapon when he is shot and wounded by one of the world leaders men who happend to still be conscious.

Wagner teleports away,leaving behind the dagger embedded within the President's desk and a label upon it with the words 'Mutant Freedom emblazened upon it.This is more than enough to put the chills up the President and more than needed for the worlds media to seize upon as mutant hating propoganda.

Meanwhile Logan(The amazing Hugh Jackman)or Wolverine as he is also known as,returns to the mutant training school owned by his friend Prof.Charles Xavier(Patrick Stewart).Logan's search for the scientific millitary installation where he lost his memory has been less than fruitful.Reunited with Rogue(Anna Paquin)the teenage girl he helped in the first movie who has the power to sap the energy from any living being.Logan finds that she is now dating another mutant.A teenage boy called Bobby Drake who has the power to freeze virtually any object.

Another teenager at the school is John Allerdyce who has the power of combustion.He can start fires with his mind.This young lad though has a more rebellious nature than his two friends,Rogue and Bobby and through out the movie we see this nature at it's very worse which will lead to a scary move on the part of the young man.

Prof. Xavier meanwhile on learning of what transpired at the white house instructs two of his former pupils, Storm and Jean Grey(The beautiful actresses Halle Berry and Famke Janssen)to try and find the mutant who attacked the President and hope to discover and understand why he did what he did.

As Storm and Jean make their way to find Nightcrawler, former soldier and scientist for the US army, Col.William Stryker(Brian Cox) is attepting to set a diabolical plot he has in motion.A hater of mutants, Stryker uses the powers invested upon him by the President to find out where the mutant training school is.The source of this information is none other than the meniachal Erik Lehnsherr(Ian McKellen), better known as the master of magnetism, Magneto.Stryker gained the information from a device he planted on Magneto's neck.It was this device that made the human despising mutant spill his guts to the colonel.

With his mentally controlled mutant henchwoman Lady Deathstrike(Kelly Hu) in tow, Stryker begins to put his plans in to operation.The invasion of the mutant school and the erradication of every single mutant on the face of the planet.But unknown to Stryker.one of Magneto's lackey's, the cunning shapeshifter Mystique(Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) is out there planning to free her master.It's this act that will lead the pair of human hating mutants in to an uneasy alliance with the X-men.

This is an Excellent movie.Better than than the first movie deserved.Almost every one of the cast gives grade-A performaces.Once again Hugh Jackman is magnificent as possibly the best character in the movie.Who can't help but love that rugged smart ass that Wolverine is.Who can also forget the likes of brits Patrick Stewart,Ian Mckellen,Brian Cox and Alan Comming who are all first rate(Even though Cox's southern accent is a bit on the dodgy side).Kudos must go to James Marsden who thus far has not recieved mentioned as the X-mens team leader Scott Summers aka.Cyclops.His performance as the more buttoned down mutant to Wolverines rugged charmer deseves equal praise.Famke Janssen is also amazing.Not only is she an incredibly attractive woman but a talented actress as well.She brings just the right of courage to Jean Grey while managing to be convincingly scared of a fate that she knows is coming.Halle Berry however isn't so great.Her performance isn't terrible.It's actually quite good but she will never be anything more to me than an attractive woman with just a glimmer of acting ability. Credit however must go to the kids who all give great performances.Paquin,Stanford and Ashmore could possibly be three of the worlds biggest up and coming movie stars.

As for Bryan Singers direction.It is as good as ever.He show's his versatility on this one once again.All you need do is compare this movie to the likes of his first major success, The Usual Suspects to see his flair as a maker of movies.The script too is brilliantly written.The characters are all richly textured.Being truely believable in a world of true fantasy.It's a testament to the writing talents of those involved.The pace is nicely kept and even holds your interest in the dialogue scenes which at times are quite funny.As for the special effects and the make up.They'll just blow you away.

There is the odd little quibble.The final showdown between Wolverine and Lady Deathstrike,although beautifully choreographed could have been a bit longer.The end could also have came a bit sooner as well.

That said however, X-2 is first rate cinema entertainment at it's very best.When you get the chance I suggest you rush out and see it as soon as you can.Because blockbusters that are this good don't come around all that often and trust me, I know.I've seen enough of them to attest to it.

Robs Rating:* * * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Last year saw the battle of the the two big summer blockbusters.In the green corner we had the diabolical travesty that was 'Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones',and in the red corner was this effort.Sam Raimi's big screen adaptation of possibly Marvel comics most famous super hero, Spider-man.

In the end Spider-man made the higher amount of money in box office sales.But that would probably be down to George Lucas's decision to only have his 'Attack of the Clones' screened in cinema theatres with digital sound.Spider-man never suffered from this restriction.But having said that this latest comic book based blockbuster is the better movie.Not that it's a great movie by any long stretch.It's just that Raimi first real blockbuster is a masterpiece in comparison.

The story centres on young Peter Parker(A fantastic Tobey Maguire).An eighteen year geek in his last year of school,the young lad lives a pretty humble life with his adoptive parents.His elderly aunt May(Rosemary Harris)and Uncle Ben(Cliff Robertson)are the only real family that Peter seems to have.If things were not hard enough for Peter, he is also the constant victim of the class room bullies who pick on him.His one and only true friend apears to be Harry Osborne(James Franco),son to multi millionaire Norman Osborne(Willem Dafoe)who founded the company Oscorp.

Even though the pair of them are close friends they happen to share strong feelings for one of the girls who goes to their school.The beautiful Mary-Jane(The lovely Kirsten Dunst)or M.J. as she is affectionately known by her friends.

One day,the two boys visit a science lab on a school day trip.While there, Peter who is a photographer for his schools news paper is taking photos of the inside of the building(as well as M.J.)when he is suddenly bitten by a radioactive super spider that had been bred by the labs scientists.The resulting spider bite gives Peter extrodinary powers.He becomes stronger,more agile and has special spider senses that can warn him of danger before it occurs.On top of that he can shoot special sticky web fluid from his wrists.But to top it all off, Peter can walk on walls just like any common household spider.It's only a matter of time before Peter becomes the costumed,super-heroic wall crawler that is Spiderman.

While this is going on Harry's old man,Norman is having some serious problems.His company Oscorp has designed a special suit of armour and a mechanical glider to be used by the millitary.It's with such tools as these that the United states defenders hope to create an army of the most powerful soldiers.The only setback is trying to find a human guinea pig who is willing to take a new drug the scientists have invented.The drug is supposed to increase a human specimens strength,stamiana and agility.But a series of tests on some labs rats have proved to be less than optimistic.While the rats did indeed become more powerful,they displayed signs of agression and turned on one another,leaving none alive.With the threat of the army deciding to turn to another company, Norman against the the strong protests of one of his chief scientists takes the drug himself.Wthe the most devastating of results!The effects of the drug leave the obsessed millionaire with a deranged alter ego.Another personality that is able to opress Normans better nature.Turning him in to a deadly merciless killer, who soon dons his own companys armour and uses it's armour to become the meniachal Green Goblin.

To reveal what happens next would be to reveal too much.Sam Raimi's take on the famous comic book character(co-created by Marvel comics founder,Stan Lee)is as far as I can tell,quite faithful to the comic.The odd change has of course been made to make it that bit more plausible.Peter himself does not create the special web fluid he uses in the comic.As I stated above, it come along with the rest of his powers.Plus he is not the every day mild mannered guy he was in the comic books.Here we have the story of the worm who turned.someone who for practically the whole of their life had been down trodden by unfeeling bullies only to amazingly be gifted the power to fight back and use this power to do good.It's a story I believe fashioned for your average comic book geek to relate.They know how it must have felt to be the one who was ridiculed and teased and the fantasy of being able to stand up and say, 'No i'm not gonna take this no more' I myself have dreamed of at some time in my life.It's fair to say that it works in the movies favour.

There are some nice touches of humor as well.The first scenes of Peter starting to come to terms with his powers are certainly quite rib tickling and theres the scene where he tries to make some extra money for himself by becoming a wrestler.Raimi's direction is pretty good as well but it's not perfect.Where as he is able to wring great, charismatic performances from the likes of Dunst and Maguire, not to mention much of the rest of the supporting players(Although Willem Dafoe is a tad too over the top)he fails in other areas.

Some of the special CG effets of Spiderman(especially the scene where Peter, in a cruder version of the costume is chasing a thief)look too false.Practically cartooney.The script could have been better as well.Because of the amount of back story involving both Spider-man and the Green Goblins creation (as well as the films running time of just under two hours)the end product climax when it arrives apears to be way too soon.The writers could have could added an extra fifthteen to twenty minutes of material.

As for the story.Don't try looking for one because they is hardly one at all.All we're basicly subjected to is the Goblins taunting of Spider-man and one violent showdown after another.Oh, and don't get me started on the Green Goblins costume.

In surmising, Spiderman is not a bad movie but could have been done a lot better.The chemistry between Maguire and Dunst and is certainly a brilliant ingredient to Raimi's mediocre cake.The pair perfectly define their characters.But if you ever get a special chance to see it on the big screen, don't bother.Wait for the DVD or video.Chances are it would be cheaper and more worth your while.I was lucky as I got to see it for free.

Robs Rating: * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Johnny English, Gentleman spy.Nah, actually it's more like Johnny English,complete pillock.That's more or less the premise of comedian, Rowan Atkinsons latest movie.A character taken from a series of adverts for Barclay card over here in the UK some years ago, Johnny English(In the adverts he was called Latham)is Britains answer to Inspector Clouseau and Frank Drebin.Supposedly a secret agent,(even though he is confined to a desk job behind the highly secured walls of MI5)Johnny can do nothing but dream of a life of daring do,amazing escapes,brilliant gadgets and the added bonus of fast cars and attractive woman.

That all changes however when all of MI5's top agents are killed when attending the funeral of a fellow agent who was killed in the line of duty.Every single one bar Johnny (He was side tracked by his boss who was speaking with him) is killed in an explosion caused by the planting of a bomb within the late man's coffin.

With no other agents left Johnny's boss Pegasus(Tim Piggot Smith)has no other choice but to asign the incompetent nit wit and his young assistant Bough(Ben Miller)to the task of protecting the crown Jewels.

However things don't go well and the prescious royal antique is stolen by henchman of the evil french millionaire,Pascal Savague(John Malkovich)a distant relation to the royal family who also owns a chain of prisons world wide.He plots to some how over throw the Queen and become Great Britains next monarch.

As the story moves along Atkinson's Johnny meets Natalie Imbrughlia's gorgeous,intelligent and feisty agent from Interpole who begins to rather strangely fall for the oaf that English is.Not with out telling him that he is one at first though.

As comedies go 'Johnny English' may not exactly be inspiring.Let's face it we've pretty much seen this kind of thing before.An inept, police man, agent or what ever who manages to some how save the world. Let's face it.He's not really that different form Atkinson's other comedic creation Mr.Bean.Both characters are complete idiots.It's simply just a variation of the personae.Plus the whole little gut manages to win through is the cliche of so many movies these day's. Not only that but you have Malkovich sporting a truly laughable french accent on top of that.

The film despite these flaws isn't all together bad.The performance by the cast in general is of grade A quality.(Even though you have to listen to Malkovich's accent).Atkinson as ever is entertaining to watch as well as there are some genuinely humerous moments in the film.English mistaking a a crowd of mourners at a funeral for being henchman of Savagues.His bungling in to trying to break in to one of the villains company skyscrapers where he is throwing a gala.Then theres the films finale which see English at the coronation of Savague(who has indeed managed to over throw the Queen)as he tries to idiotically try to expose him for the crimminal genius that he is.

All in all it's an amiable enough movie that you could take your kids to see.(They probably pester you to take them to see it).But if you don't have kids I would advise you to wait for the video or DVD.

Robs Rating: * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

(WARNING *POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Some years before New Zealand director Peter Jackson gave us the first of the Lord of the Rings trilogy there was this little film from his native land.An hour and forty minutes of blood drenched mayhem, 'Braindead' or 'Dead Alive' as it is known in the US was what you could go down under's answer to 'The Evil Dead'.Made on a small budget(But slightly bigger than his shoe string first feature which was 'Bad Taste' a few years earlier),it tells the story of Lionel Cosgrove(Timothy Balme).A thirty something who lives under the thumb of his tyrannical mother(Elizabeth Moody) in 1950's New Zealand,Lionel falls in love with Paquita(Diana Penalver) the beautiful spanish daughter of a local shop owner.However mother of course does not aprove her boy seeing the young lady and keeps Lionel at Bay.

Lionel and Paquita manage though to start dating behind the old batalax's back.But when mother gets suspicous she decides to follow Lionel to the local zoo where he meets up with the girl of his dreams. That very same day a new animal has been delivered to the zoo.A grotesque creature called the Sumatran Rat,it has a deadly bite that unknown to the zoo keepers, transforms those that are subjected to it's bite into flesh eating,killer zombies. Unfortunately for Lionels loathsome mother,she gets too close to the cage holding the beast while spying on Lionel and Paquita, and is bitten by the foul rodent.Things after that just can't get any worse for poor Lionel.

As gory horror flicks go this has to rate as one of the sickest, disgusting, degenerate of the lot.But it is also one of the down right fun ones.It's not a great quality movie when compared to the like of LOTR.The special stop motion puppetry for the Sumatran Rat which we see early on in the movie is blatantly ropey and the score could have put together by someone who composed the music for Prisoner cell block H .That said however the gore and Zombies effects are certainly first rate. What other director could give us such jaw dropping scenes as a kung-fu fighting priest(Stuart Devenie)who 'kicks arse for god',summersaulting and giving some undead thugs a good beating'.Then theres the sight of Lionels zombified mother and the now flesh eating priest shagging.The demonic child that spurts forth from mothers rotting womb and is jerked suddenly back by the umbillicle cord that is still attached to it is just another of Jackson's great accomplishments. Then theres the final icing on the cake.A blood drenched finale where Lionels obnoxious uncle Les(His mothers brother)gate crashes his house and throws a wild party. only for the guests to be attacked by a small army of the living dead.This has to count as one of, if not the most grusome scenes in movie history next to the likes of 'Re-animator'.Just wait till you see what Lionel does with a flymo.

Any way I've said enough.'In surmising Braindead will never be hailed as the very best of Jackson.After all it was only his second offering and considering the budget size is a testament to the man as a director.It contains some good tongue n' cheek performance from a cast of unknowns and enough of Jacksons amazing directorial flair to hold your interest for it's running time of an a hour and forty.Oh, and be sure and look out for a brief cameo apearence from the great man himself as a Morgue attendant in a funeral parlor,good few pounds lighter than he is today.

Robs Rating:* * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *MINOR SPOILERS*

Now here's something that I wasn't expecting.A sequel that is better than the original.'Shanghai Knights' I think it is safe to say is Jackie Chans best Hollywood movie to date.Again teaming up with Owen Wilson, Chan delivers what is possibly his most lucrative franchise since 'Rush Hour' 1 and 2.

The movie begins about two or three years after the previous film.Chon Wang(Jackie Chan)is now the sheriff of a small town in the west.He receives a letter from his younger sister Chon Lin(Fann Hong)which tells of the murder of their father by the evil Lord Rathbone(Aidan Gillen).In doing so Rathbone has also stolen the Imperial Seal and taken it with him to London.

Intending revenge, Chon travels to New York to see his old friend Roy O'Bannon(Owen Wilson) who has now become a waiter in a massive hotel.Together they travel to England where they meet up with Chon Lin and try and prevent Rathbone who is tenth in line to the throne from assassinating Queen Victoria(Gemma Jones).

By all accounts this is an improvement on Chan and Wilson's last pairing.The laughs this time are indeed a good deal funnier.Wilson delivering the great wise cracks and Chan showing off his amazing fighting skills.

Chan serves up his usual ingenious blend of high kicking martial arts and hilarious slapstick.We are subjected to a funny homage to singin' in the rain and amazing set pieces which involve a revolving door, a museum and a show stopping fight inside Big Ben in the final reel.

There is brilliant chemistry between Chan and Wilson who are both clearly having fun in their respective rolls.Wilson wrings about as many laughs from the witty script penned by Miles Millar and Alfred Gough who also wrote the original.

Fann Wong is also a nice addition to the cast an Chon's sister.She delivers a good performance and her chemistry between her male counterparts works well.She is certainly more than the obligatory love interest to Owen Wilson.

Where the film is let down however is in the presentation of the English characters the English characters.Gough and Millar resort to the stereotypical view that the Americans seem to have of the English. (You need only watch Three Men and a little Lady and Buffy the Vampire Slayer to see that).

Rathbone is sadly a one dimensional, villain who could have walked out of a James Bond movie.Gillen doesn't help matters either by hamming it up wildly) Artie Doyle(Tom Fisher)is also a character who is badly served.Fisher tries his best but can do little to avoid him from being a one dimensional characiture.

Millar and Gough also resort to some unsubtle historical references to Charlie Chaplin and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.That said the scene with Jack the Ripper is priceless.

Those faults aside this is a lot better than I expected it to be.It's certainly an improvement on the last movie which I thought was okay but nothing to write home about.If you haven't already seen it I suggest you rush out and see it while you get the chance.It's makes an enjoyable night out to the movies!

Robs Rating:* * * *

* Terrible * * Below Par * * * Not Bad * * * * Good * * * * * Brilliant

WARNING *MINOR SPOILERS*

Homosexuality these day's is hardly the taboo subject it was over forty years ago.However it must be said that perhaps more so in America than say, over here in the U.K. it can still be a touchy subject.Just look at the whole debacle of gay's in the millitary some years ago in the US.It's with 'In and Out' that writer Paul Rudnick taps in to the small town mentality of middle America and the way the press in the US (As well as in the UK) make such a big deal in outing a celebrity.You need only look at when Will Young and Stephen Gately of Boyzone came out of the closet.

The movie centres on Howard Brackett(Kevin Kline), a High school English teacher in his home town.The local people are preparing themselves for Oscar night as one of the nominees Cameron Drake(Matt Dillon) came from their town and was a former pupil of Howards. Cameron, who plays a gay soldier in a vietnam epic wins the award only to out Howard as being gay during his acceptance speech.This could not come at a worse time for Howard who is just day's away from marrying his fiance and fellow school teacher Emily(Joan Cusack).As you would expect the media reaction is cataclysmic and turn's Howards life upside down.Not only does he try to convince his family and friends that he is not gay but evade sleazy news reporter, Peter Malloy(Tom Selleck).

Although this was billed as a screwball comedy it's clear that Rudnick and director Frank Oz are also attempting to be satirical.You only have to look at the early scenes at the Oscars cerimonee and the way the people of Bracketts home town as well as the teaching board of the school react to his outing.

Sadly the film doesn't live up to the promise we see early on in the movie.This is a pretty flat attempt to make social commentary out of a wacky comedy.A good cast is sadly wasted on a script that never really delivers the nessecary amount of laughs and is no where near as insightful as it thinks it.

Kline gives us the same kind of endearing performance that he gave us in his earlier comedy 'Dave', making Howard an instantly likeable character. Cusack too is good value as Howard's weight obsessed fiance while Tom Selleck play's very well against type as a gay news reporter.Bob Newhart is a joy also, as the principal of the high school where Howard works.It's great to see him on the big screen for a change.It's a shame that it had to be this.

The performances as good as they are can do little to rescue the movie from being a rather dull affair.While a couple of scenes do offer some amusement.Namely the inspired scene where Howard attempts to make himself seem more manly by listening to a self help tape.There is little to enjoy, and when things can't seem to get any worse Rudnick resorts to a sickening finale that lurches in to over the top sentiment. I also couldn't help but feel that my intelligence was being insulted.Malloy appears to be too sleazy a character to become the man who put's his ethics before getting a good story while Cammeron finally come to the rescue in the film's climax seems at first to be too self involved a character to care a jot about what happens to his former teacher.After all it's he who caused all the trouble in the first place.

'In and Out' isn't exactly dire.But when you consider the likes of Klines better work like 'A Fish called Wanda' you can't help but feel that here is a great talent being sadly wasted.

Robs Rating:* *