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Reviews
Flight World War II (2015)
Wormholes and Plot holes
A commercial jet flies into a wormhole traveling back in time to WW II, and causing massive plot holes... saving history but not the movie!
Three stars because the core idea wasn't that bad.
Deadly Inferno (2016)
Not the Inferno You'd Expect
A fire slightly larger than a bonfire breaks out in a high-rise trapping some people on the 8th floor. The fire is so small and scattered until the last moments that it seems like it could be put out with a couple of chunky spits. But somehow, it's portrayed as the biggest fire in the city's history. Perhaps it was a different kind of fire as shutting doors keeps the flames out of rooms. Also, the smoke gets intense but less affecting as the fire starts engulfing the building, making the characters breathe with more ease with less coughing. The fire department chief seems confused and clueless all the time like it's his first fire...etc... I especially enjoyed the magically changing shoes of the female character trapped in the building -from high-heels to flats between scenes. The personal dramas of each character is so forced that you can't relate any emotion. You just wish they all died.
In the end, viewers watching this title might really feel like they are in a deadly inferno... but as in 'wasting an hour or so', in Dante's hell.
After the Flames: An Apocalypse Anthology (2020)
Disastrous in Multiple Ways
This anthology of 7 short apocalypse tales demonstrates what NOT to do when making such movies... even if they are indie films...
Some things are understandable as it's really difficult to develop characters, create engaging stories and have plot twists in 15 minutes or less, but sadly all the stories lack originality in their plots, contain dull characters played by random people with no acting skills, and most importantly all the stories lack the "horror" and "action" elements as it's nonexistent.
The low budget might be another reason of this title's failure as tomato sauce smeared actors passing as zombies, photoshopped outer space backgrounds, and dyed scrap metal plastered to people's heads cannot create the atmosphere to pull the viewers into the stories.
Charlotte Wakes (2017)
Sit this one out!
Very slow-paced film full of jump scares, meaningless dialogues, bad acting, crappy supernatural elements, boring dream sequences, creaky staircase sounds and a little bit of cat cameos, a touch of full nudity (not the cat), and a highly predictable ending...
Overall: A huge disappointment
+1 star for the house
+1 star (I've seen worse)
Into the Void (2019)
Not a Zombie film
Take a step back from scary, horror films "into the void"...
Literally into the void, as nothing happens during the film. It takes the audience into the void and leaves them there.
First of all, "Into the void" is advertised as a post-apocalyptic zombie flick, but it's far from being one... No genuine zombies, no gore, no action... no point.
The zombies are just non-aggressive, peaceful chaps who were affected by some kind of disease and they are never dangerous except at night when they try to shove people into the bushes. During the day time, they just wander in the forest with no memory. That sums up the good moments and the action highlights of the film. Imagine the rest!
The script promises a love story at the beginning, but soon after it actually delivers a story of regret judging by the flashbacks of a man, trying to save (cure) his infected girlfriend.
So, why the 2nd star?
Because I read somewhere here that the forgetful zombies were intended to portray people suffering from the Alzheimer's disease and the film was actually about the difficulty of taking care of them... Despite being executed poorly, I consider that a noble cause and award the film a second star.
Block Island (2018)
A boating disaster
Although the concept of rich college kids battling hillbillies has been massively overdone in the film industry, the genre still attracts viewers when done right (Like me!).
Well, this title does nothing right...
For the first time in my life, I wanted all the characters dead, right after they had a few minutes of screen time. There was nobody for me to root for... not the stupid kids, not the dumb fishermen either.
How do they make movies as bad as this one and not retire from the whole industry, feeling ashamed of the outcome?
P.S: I didn't get the kiwi references that kept popping out now and then. It must have been a kind of an inside joke.
The Charnel House (2016)
The thin line between "horror" and "horrible"
The makers of this movie must have confused the concepts of "horror" and "horrible" and instead of creating a "horror" flick, they ended up with a "horrible" outcome.
No story, no creativity, no acting,no pace, no interesting characters... adds up to a big "0"
However, the choice of location gets one star and the fact that I've seen worse lands another.
Odds Are (2018)
Odds are... you'll hate wasting time on this title...
The film started promising... and stayed promising for a full 20 minutes...that is until they got into the house. Then, it got highly predictable and implausible. The villain didn't feel like a villain, the other characters were dumber than the usual horror flick characters and the promised fear was non-existent. I felt I was watching a bad documentary.
If you're a fan of the genre, watch "Don't Breathe", which is not perfect but much better than this...
V-Wars (2019)
Poor writing, plot holes and underdeveloped subplots.
Based on the positive ratings, I am starting to think that either people haven't even watched this beyond the pilot episode or the majority of the audience started enjoying bad scripts full of plot holes, underdeveloped characters and uninteresting subplots etc...
After watching a couple of episodes, V-Wars turns into a predictable, boring vampire flick which is probably watched because of the lack of good and decent horror shows on the silver screen.
All the good things about this show: Well, it's still watchable to pass time if you're a vampire fan... the CGI work for blood-craving vampires are OK... and the cast (but not the characters) is not that bad if you want to see your favorite actor on such a show.
The bad things: The script looks like it was written by a bunch of kindergarten kids not aware of what each other wrote. The plot holes are much higher in number than the body count and it gets worse as the series advance... The subplots are not developed enough to serve a purpose... There is no chemistry between the characters and they seem like they don't care for each other as well because when a family member, a good friend or a lover dies, they don't even mourn longer than a second. The main character doesn't look or feel like a scientist of any kind. And lastly the main plot shifts more to inter-agency get-backs than fighting vampires or finding a cure.
P.S: It's not even scary a bit...
Trauma Center (2019)
A terrible rip-off of Die Hard where Bruce makes a pointless cameo
A struggling waitress (who did not even fully witness a murder) is chased around an isolated hospital floor by a couple of bad cops, who are desperate to retrieve the bullet in her leg that can tie them to the crime scene whilst not bothering to pick up the shells that one of them sprinkled around when he went berserk to kill her. This is basically the whole plot!
Evidence is scattered everywhere, but hey, everything is possible in Hollywood!
Even terrible films can get decent ratings!
So, what's so horrible about this "Die Hard" wannabe?
Firstly, the script is full of plot holes and continuity errors that at one point it ceases to be entertaining. The witness who was shot in the leg and brought to the ER is treated with a crude bandage over the gun shot wound (where the doctors should have removed it right away to prevent infection. Besides, they already stated the bullet hadn't hit any major arteries). As for the continuity errors, there are so many to count, but my favorite is where the witness steps on a puddle of blood with her white sock and in the next scenes the bloodstain just disappears until a later point in the movie where it resurfaces as dirt, then to become a bloodstain again. Oh! and let's not forget about the memory card evidence they decide not to destroy initially and later lose the tiny card somehow, which is conveniently found by the victim on the run in a steam covered room.
Characters are not plausible... a waitress (without any other kind of survival skill set) outwitting two professional killers every time... the two bad apples who are always acting like idiots and... a good cop (Bruce Willis) who sounds like a tough guy but appears to be nothing more than a pointless cameo as he is never in the main action line. Besides, he acts like he had retired long ago.
Stay away... Watch "Die Hard" series... with a proper Bruce
The Seven (2019)
Ghostly and ghastly
Are you looking for a title with an unoriginal boring script with loads of plot holes, no real story, uninteresting characters that nobody can root for, wooden acting, poor camera work etc... then you should definitely watch this.
It certainly looks like a college kid's failed attempt at his first draft of a movie making project and it's certainly not scary at all if that's your thing.
Keep Watching (2017)
Keep watching at your own risk!
Keep watching through this title if you want to experience what NOT to do when shooting a horror flick...
Terrible acting.... check
Stupid, irrational actions done continuously by actors.... check
Non-developing characters... check
Plot trenches... check (Calling it plot holes would be so underrated)
Shaky handcam scenes... check
Bad quality video feed... check (Nowadays, people don't even watch kitten videos on youtube if the graphic quality is as terrible as in this one...)
Predictable ending...check (Can be guessed easily half-way into the movie)
The only reason I gave a 2-star rating is probably because I have a secret crush on Natalie Martinez...
Primer (2004)
It makes the ceramic less resistant and knocks out the interior magnetic field.
If you can understand what is trying to be conveyed in the topic of this review (the one above, which is actually a randomly picked line from the movie), then you might be among the few who may enjoy this title (Not me!). The first 30 minutes or so of Primer is full of dialogues with technical mumbo jumbo like the line above, embellished with overlapping lines of characters speaking at the same time in fast forward. The problem isn't only the hard-to-follow conversations: The main characters are unsympathetic (or just plain pathetic), the other characters are barely introduced if not forgotten, the plot is full of holes, the sound quality is horrendous, the loose ends aren't tied up properly, and so on... What's more? I watched Primer with a physicist and she told me that even the science part was mostly rubbish. If I had access to a time machine, I would just empty my pockets and travel back to the time that I bought Primer.
Elysium (2013)
Terriblium
Before I begin criticizing this title harshly, let's take a trip to the 1870's (about 150 years in the past from now)In 1870's, the telephone (its most basic form) and the first camera were invented. Invention of the light bulb happened in this time period as well. Jules Verne published "Around the world in 80 days" so we can say that hot-air balloons were becoming popular for air travel as planes did not exist. If we compare the 1870's to our time, we can clearly that technology evolved greatly. Now, let's go forward in time to the year 2154 AD. How would you expect the world to be? Taking into consideration the previous 150 years (from 1870's to 2013),you'll probably expect scientific breakthroughs, settlements on other galaxies, drastic changes in people's lifestyles (and clothing), right? Well, according to Elysium's world, nothing will change except that tanning beds will be transformed and become med-beds to heal rich people of all kinds of sickness. It's a pity that these beds weren't modified to treat disappointment as well. This would have been great after watching films like this. Apart from tanning beds, bicycle handlebars will also find another use in the future, as exoskeleton parts! The world of 2154 shouldn't have been pictured like this. Now, let's take a sneak peek into the characters: Errr...,well, there aren't any!I mean, there are people acting in the film but they can't be considered as characters. The definition of character is "the mental, ethical and moral qualities of a person" In conclusion, I think this film was a bad mixture of "Total Recall (original version) and "Johnny Mnemonic". Unfortunately, the mixture didn't work.
Prometheus (2012)
Horrible script, great CGI
Having really enjoyed the "Alien" franchise, I had really high hopes for this title. However, I was totally disappointed and felt the urge to write this review. The synopsis of the film according to me is: "An old multi-millionaire dying man in search of immortality puts together a team of idiot scientists (who are unaware what the mission is) and funds a mission to an alien planet which is believed to be the home of the aliens who engineered humans. Upon landing the alien planet, the crew members have to face numerous dangers and survive by doing illogical actions in obvious situations." What really bugged me in Prometheus was how stupid the characters reacted to certain situations. Here is a short list of them (out of many): 1) A short time upon landing the planet. The lead scientist decides to take off his helmet just because computer says that the air is breathable. 2) The biologist(Biologists study life and life forms) who should have been fascinated by the dead alien they found gets scared and wants to leave. Later in a different scene the same cowardly biologist tries to pet a live alien cobra three times! 3) The geologist, who has not inspected or collected a single rock on the planet, is also freaked out by the decapitated alien wants to leave, too. Although he is also the one who mapped out the whole area, he gets lost in the tunnels. 4) Another scientist Dr.Shaw, starts experimenting on the alien head immediately after retrieving it in a gym bag, without prior research just based on hunches. What happened to the scientific method? 5) Vickers, fully aware that the falling ship is going to crush her, keeps running in a straight line rather than sideways.
Movies belonging to the Sci-fi genre do not have to be totally accurate regarding the scientific knowledge and methods that make up their plot but they should at least make some sense.
Because of poorly written script, plot holes and poor character development, this can only get 5/10. The 5 points are from visual effects and CGI.
Wrecked (2010)
This movie is a "wreckage"
I really enjoy watching movies in which a character has amnesia because this can add twists to even the most ordinary stories. However, this movie was an exception. I was really bored after the first 10 minutes. The reasons why I didn't like "Wrecked" is a long list but the main reasons are: the lack of decent dialogues (understandable since it's a one-man movie, but even the monologues consist of single words like "Oh" and "No"), the stupidity of Adrien Brody's character (He crawls uphill through the forest all the time with a busted knee and having no idea where he is going / burning stacks of money to keep warm at night in a forest where wood, branches and little twigs are very easy to come by), poor script writing (Adrien has the physical stamina to crawl aimlessly for days with having consumed only an ant, a worm and a couple of mint candies) Since I don't have a lot of space, I'll cut it short and will recommend this movie to anyone who has trouble sleeping because it is only good for putting its audience to sleep.
Rising Dead (2007)
Worst Zombie film ever
At the beginning of the film, we are informed that a war broke out and the use of biological weapons caused an epidemic which made the dead to rise. A special forces agent (one of the Cousins Brothers)is escorting America's important figures to a kind of a fallout shelter by plane. Unfortunately, the plane crashes down just a few miles before it reaches its destination. There are several survivors: Our hero, the first lady, her crippled son and her little daughter and two other women...Sounds fun, ha? Well, it is neither fun nor entertaining and it is certainly not scary. Here are some reasons why you should avoid this title: - The script is a disaster. Here are a couple of examples: Throughout the film, we witness that the crippled son can outrun both zombies and other people. There are some scenes where he is actually running! Near the end, our hero is bitten from his left hand and amputates it. A few scenes later, when he is suiting up to fix the radioactive leakage, he has his both hands back again.... - The echo in the narration was really irritating and the lines were so bad. - The dialogs were very stupid and were probably written by a 3-year-old. - The acting was horrible (The first five people you see and round up from any location could have done much better) - The ending was horrible... There is definitely nothing good about the film and I don't have enough space to write about the rest. I tried to summarize it, the best I can.
The Zombie Diaries (2006)
Really disappointing!
Just watched the movie and I was really disappointed. The movie focuses on three different groups of people and tell their stories through three different camcorders (one for each group). Never understood why people travel with camcorders and have them on the whole time, mostly shooting the countryside and occasional zombies attacking them in a deadly outbreak. The shaky camera style made the film hard to follow and didn't show most of the action. Moreover, the zombies attacked mostly night-time, so all I got was shouting. I felt sad for the characters who were caught and possibly eaten by the slowest moving zombies of all time. The acting was awful as well. So, avoid watching it and don't be fooled by the DVD cover.
The film however made me thinking about buying a farm in rural England. It is so peaceful, even in a zombie invasion.