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Reviews
Immortal Combat (1994)
Immortal Combat: A Paradox
(Contains vague but ultimately inconsequential spoilers.) Honestly, I can't tell you what this film is about. I can, however, make a checklist of things that are in this film that might peak your interest:
1) Ninjas 2) Coke and sex parties 3) Uzis 4) Vaguely impossible, massive gangster (and likely coke/sex-fueled) brawls 5) Spotty martial arts 6) Multiple abominations of the laws of physics (including at least one man who can leap five clear feet out of water (mind you, completely submerged)) 7) Body builders who don't believe in shirts
And the back of the VHS box does confirm there are:
8) 109 minutes of action! 10) Headlocks 11) Running tackles 12) Action/Adventure and 13) Sonny Chiba.
Through complex mathematics, I've inferred that if you are interested in at least five (of thirteen) of those concepts, this feature-length presentation is right down your alley.
As far as I can tell, this movie is actually something of a puzzler. I'll lay the plot as frankly as I can: men who are apparently immortal waste their time trying to kill each other. They will shoot and punch and heave and throw and remove articles of clothing, but it is simply no use. Not a one of them can die--a reason for which I thoroughly enjoyed this flick.