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An error has ocurred. Please try againHonorable mentions: Chappie (2015), Detachment (2011), Franklyn (2008), Inception (2010), Insider (1999), Moneyball (2011), The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)
Reviews
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
A dull place
I'd have loved this film to add something new and refreshing to the previous one, but it still glosses over the actual invasion and how those beasts found themselves on Earth.
It's also never explained how aliens who could traverse millions of light years are simple stupid carnivores. You never see their spaceships and tech, you never see them communicate. They just chase random people and kill them seemingly for fun. You have to believe that people taste better than let's say cows.
And then these beasts often act like it's convenient to the plot. This is especially true close to the end of the film. Sometimes they are snappy and angry, sometimes they take their sweet time to kill/eat humans or they pretend like they are dead/sleeping.
I like monsters that I can relate to, whose intelligence is something to marvel at. These beasts are not that.
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
Against the grain
As I'm getting older I want to see films which deliver a complete picture and feature characters I can relate to.
The biggest issue with this film is that both its protagonists are getting progressively crazier and at the end of the film you don't understand if the central issues posed in the film (loneliness and finite lifespan) are still valid as everything spiraled out of control.
To add insult to injury the films ends with a huge cliffhanger, and one of the actually nicest, kindest and honest characters (who everyone thinks is a dimwit) commits suicide.
I really don't know what to make of it. I'm also exceptionally lonely (no friends to speak of for the past several years), I'm also aware of my imminent death sooner than later but this film gives me neither hope, nor even hints at solutions of how to deal with this.
Bull (2021)
Bull, crap
This could have been an OK movie about a psychopath and people who love gore would have probably appreciated it.
It builds the story, tension, you don't understand what was the motive of revenge until at the very end when the protagonist turns out to be Devil or a devil incarnate and that destroys everything at least for me, since I'm not into religions or religious movies. It makes him invincible, so what's the whole point?!
The police or guards in the movie are nowhere to be seen. Or, the ones which are shown are deeply corrupted. There's not a single honest, kind, caring and true to their job officer.
The director takes a lot of pleasure in torturing and killing women both by the protagonist and and his antagonists.
Even if this had been a movie about a psychopath, it would be hard to root for anyone in the movie as almost all the people in it are royally flawed.
There's literally nothing that I enjoyed.
The Creator (2023)
Facepalm
In year 2065 human beings are sent everywhere instead of drones.
In year 2065 a single person decides to wipe entire nations.
In year 2065 airplanes can reach a low Earth orbit.
In year 2065 CCTVs are not a thing.
In year 2065 super advanced AI cannot properly hide, builds its bases on the ground, makes them as conspicuous as humanly possible. A coating made of gold? Yes, please!
The same AI is OK with creating only a single entity with supernatural abilities which are never explained. This is not sci-fi, this is BS.
AI can be killed except when it cannot (The Ken Watanabe robot).
AI cannot shoot.
Things which detonate in a 100 meter radius do so abruptly, and while standing exactly 10 meters away you're completely safe.
I could go on. People who wrote this live a parallel world and are not even aware of what's going on in the world right now.
F9 (2021)
Realism? Never heard of it
This installment is the worst in terms of realism and I couldn't watch the move past the first 15 minutes - not only the main characters are unkillable, they are equally reckless in everything they do.
In the first 8 movies there was at least a resemblance of danger, death, consequences - nothing sensible is left in this movie.
Lastly, the topic of the family and all the interactions are so cliche it's now vomit inducing.
It's a cheap cash grab for hardcore fans of Vin Diesel. Everyone with an brain should skip this movie altogether. It's just horrible.
Dune (2021)
Almost completely incomprehensible
I understand this movie is based off a very long book containing 412 pages but I haven't read it, nor I'm really interested in it yet.
The film must be a complete form of art completely independent of what it's based off.
This film omits a metric ton of information which makes understanding what's going on a torture. Who fights whom and why was on my mind through the entire movie. Last but not the least the emperor who set everything in motion was never shown. Are you kidding me?
I applaud the film music, visuals, special effects, acting but the script was terribly incomplete and left far too many questions without any answers.
Don't Look Up (2021)
A screaming honest cutting satire for the human condition
Oh, God.
This film has almost everything that's so horribly wrong about us.
A political divide on the hard scientific data which is not quite open for interpretation, you either take it or die (just like with COVID-19 and masks).
Everything turning into memes.
The private lives of people being more important than global climate warning and other a lot more serious stuff.
The same serious stuff turning into mockery, likes and followers.
People being lost about what to believe in or not and losing the ground truth of what they were taught in the school.
Luckily there isn't much religion in the movie.
I absolutely loved it.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Only hardcore fans need to apply
There will be spoilers, so beware.
This movie is a bloody very convoluted and complicated mess of ideas about loops where you can easily get lost what was before and what was after. In no particular order let me just list its pros and cons.
Let's start with cons:
- If you haven't watched the first three movies, you'll be lost and nothing will make any sense.
- Quite old Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss - well, they don't pull the chipper or look like they have superhuman abilities.
- The light humor sprinkled all over the place is somewhat inappropriate, considering the atmosphere of the previous films and the state of the current one (where people continue to live in a giant cave underground).
- Everything is lazy, overdramatized and the support cast doesn't have enough motives to vindicate their actions and heroism.
- Some machines have joined humans because ... reasons?
- The first three movies were really brutal and there's very little of it here despite its R-rating. There's zero nudity aside from bare hardly seen buttocks as well.
- Most fights are recorded using SHAKY camera.
- The end was turned into romantic/communist trash.
- The last battle/chase - oh, god, it's cringe-worthy.
- No bullet time fights whatsoever!
- No memorable scenes or dialogues.
- Too much dialog which tries to sound intelligent (the worst thing about Matrix II).
- Neo turned into a pussy.
- Trinity learned to fly right away while Neo couldn't quite master it until the very end of the movie.
- Too much mental problems (including suicide, self-loathing, depression and apathy), probably referring to the script writers.
- As with many (all?) superhero movies before it the abilities the characters have depend on the situations they are put in and the plot which is IMO should be left to fairy tales.
- Hardly any new ideas.
- What's the point of the whole movie again?
Pros:
- Self-irony and self-reflection in bulk.
- Ridiculing anything and everything (in the movie someone says that Warner Brothers ordered The Matrix 4 game), including religions, habits, marketing, human nature.
- Some philosophy like there's no freedom of choice, even in the real world.
Overall it's a fan service and not very good at that. If I were to rate the Martix movies from the best to worst, the list would be: 1, 3, 4, 2. The last two on this list should probably have never been made.
Little Monsters (2019)
Could have been so much better
This movie could have been so much better if it had spent less time on children - after all it's rated R and intended for adults. I guess at the very least 40 minutes were devoted to children songs, dialogues, etc. etc. etc. It was all very annoying and silly.
Corporate Animals (2019)
Grossly Misunderstood and Underrated
It's a very honest satire about our current world and a human psyche and how people still remain animals when conditions force them to. Beware it's not a light comedy, it's a comedy horror. This movie borrows some features from Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010) and the Invention of Lying (2009) and I cannot say anything else to avoid spoilering the movie.
The trailer doesn't do the movie too much justice. The film is a hundred times darker than the trailer could lead you to believe.
There are some logic issues and a little unnecessary departure close to the end but otherwise I enjoyed the movie quite a lot.
Do not watch this movie with kids though older teenagers might be allowed.
Mindhunter (2017)
Loved the first season, not so much the second one
While I loved the first season quite a lot as it kept me on the edge of the seat I cannot say the same about the second one as it was muddled with too many things unrelated to finding serial killers and which added nothing to the suspense or to the plot. Still was worth the watch.
Also there was a whole lot less psychology and a lot less Cameron Britton who shined in season 1.
7 raons per fugir (2019)
Aspires to be something bigger, fails spectacularly
This film contains seven stories which the director tries to tie up at the end but the result is just ridiculous and nonsensical.
Also, speaking of the stories, the first and the last ones are an interesting and fresh take on sociopaths, however the other five in the middle are an incoherent supernatural and dubious mess which touches on some social issues in a way you're just left shaking your head in disbelief and confusion.
Overall I'd consider this experiment of a movie to be a failure but probably art house aficionados will like it.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
An absolute drag for people who don't care about Hollywood backstage
My review will be short: if you haven't watched the movies of the 60s and you don't really care about previous generation Hollywood stars and their fame issues, you should avoid this film as it's an absolute drag.
I don't how the movie ended because I walked out of the movie theater. I just couldn't care less about anyone or anything happening on the screen.
Too Old to Die Young (2019)
Artisitic, pseudo philosophical vision of perversion, violence and organized crime
The entire series could have been cut by two thirds without losing any essence. And there's too much blood, violence and gore - I'm not against them per se but this series makes it look like it's the status quo. No, most people in the world live and die without seeing this much violence even once in their lives. Yes, we are barbaric on the inside but should we really dig deep into this side of our selves? Should we even care about anyone in this series? Basically there are no characters to root for and the ones which are not really bad are exterminated anyways.
It's like the director wanted to say we are all either deeply rotten to the core or perverted in some way or another. The director however doesn't offer any way out of this illusionary broken world.
Avoid at all costs unless you're into artsy-fartsy brain farts on the topic of violence.
Us (2019)
The worst movie I've seen in years (HEAVY SPOILERS)
So,
Aside from the fact that it's currently impossible to clone people and the fact that genes expression and various epegenetic factors may make your clone look very much unlike you, and the fact that they were raised underground without any natural light sources, so there's no way they would look exactly like us, and more importantly there's no way they could create absolutely similar offspring, since genes randomly mix, so even two pairs of twins will never be able to produce similarly looking children, still other questions remain:
* Who and why raised literally hundreds of clones?
* Who financed this?
* Where is all the support infrastructure for their life?
* How come some of them could easily sneak on to the ground?
* What's this one "soul" in two bodies BS?
* How come the clones knew where their counterparts lived?
And dozens of other unanswered questions.
This movie is logically and scientifically is one huge clusterfailure. I'm not sure why it was heralded as the best horror movie in years. It's the opposite of it.
Serenity (2019)
The depths of human sorrow, pain and genius
Most of not all the low reviews for this film are from people who haven't understood it at all. Also the trailers don't do this film any justice and viewers were mislead by that.
So, what is this movie about?
It's about a genius boy who lost his farther who was a soldier in Iraq. His stepfather turned to be a sadist who terrorizes the boy and physically tortures his mother.
The boy, who still loves and misses his dad immensely, is thinking what to do in this horrible situation as his mother is unable to get a divorce since she is absolutely terrified by the new husband. The guy seems to work for mafia but we're never told. The boy is contemplating a murder of his stepfather but understandably it's a very difficult decision for him as he's just 13 or something.
In order to resolve his own dilemma, he creates a virtual world where he places his deceased dad (as an AI character) and presents this dilemma to him under different circumstance where his virtual mother asks her ex-husband to kill the new one for ten million dollars in cash. Everything and everyone in this virtual try to dissuade him from doing what he was asked for. In the end, his virtual dad kills his virtual stepfather and by doing he gives the boy a confirmation to do that in the real world. The boy then proceeds to kill his step father with a knife and this is where the film ends.
The music in the film is absolutely stunning. Everyone played out of their mind. The premise is sad and beautiful. I loved the film beyond words.
Replicas (2018)
This is not Sci-Fi
If you're even a little bit into genetics, epigenetics, biology, human brain and its its structure (~86 billion neurons, up to 10 thousand connections between each of them), human body development you should simply never touch this movie even with a tent pole.
It's not like it doesn't make any sense - it's beyond absurd. Hopefully one day Hollywood will make it a habit of hiring scientific consultants before greenlighting movies which claim to be based on science.
It's understandable why it's never been widely released. It's a shame it was shot in the first place. Save your time and watch something else instead.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
CGI instead of substance
If this movie had been released 30 years ago, I would have excused it for the lack of any logic behind the behaviour of its characters because this movie leaves so many questions unanswered you are left constantly scratching your head while trying to find an explanation/rationale to the things going on on the screen.
Every five minutes of the screen time you keep asking yourself why this or that thing is happening and the film gives you no answers whatsoever. A lot of things make no sense at all. To add insult to injury the end is a huge cliff-hanger.
If you are a sucker for CGI, you'll be amazed. If you're seeking for a good script, developed characters and any logic you'll be left hugely disappointed.
This film could be saved by the 3.5 hours long director's cut but that's not what I watched in the movie theater.
Instant Family (2018)
Walked out of the movie theater
This is the second time in my life I walked out of the movie theater.
The film is basically a load of ages old cliches along with absolutely cheesy jokes, absurd situations, political correctness, people of all colors, and an ill-thought script which cannot even answer a basic question as to why they decided to adopt children instead of having their own one(s).
I do understand that the film tries to attract our attention to the issue of homeless/parentless children but it does it in the most unpalatable way. And it never tries to caution against making children recklessly.
Hollywood puts restrictions on the minimum viewer's age. This film should have mandated the maximum viewer's age which should have been around 14 cause this movie is an insult to intelligence.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Meh
Yesterday I finally watched the film and I was left hugely disappointed.
Characters of the movie are barely developed, events are extremely compressed and none of them were given enough coverage, the director doesn't quite understand what deserves the viewer's attention: was it Freddie's bisexuality, his wild parties, his loneliness, his flamboyant character, his relationship with his father, his love for music, his vocal abilities, etc. etc. etc. There wasn't nearly enough drama despite his untimely demise. Nothing was given enough screen time unfortunately. The film turned out to be bland and flashy, with very little substance.
Freddie Mercury deserves at the very least three full-featured films each 3,5 hours long. This film doesn't do him any justice.
Jeune et Jolie (2013)
Some conclusions
So, what does this movie teach us?
* At the age of 17 it's natural for a young beautiful French woman to try herself as a prostitute without any reasons for that.
* The work of a prostitute lacks any perils whatsoever, and it's even OK to have unprotected sex as long as your client claims he's married and shows you a ring. There are no STDs in this world at all.
* You may lie to your parents about the things which can be extremely dangerous.
* Almost everyone is cheating on everyone.
* A 17 old girl (a female friend of the protagonist) is crying because the guy could only have sex with her for three minutes before ejaculating which is absolutely normal for a first sex.
* The death of one her clients is barely investigated if anything.
* The police may come into your house without a search warrant yet searches through everything.
* Parties for the young in France consist of insane amounts of booze, drugs and it's OK to have group sex publicly.
* Not living with your own father who divorced your cheating mother while you were very young is enough of a reason to fall in love with a 60 years old guy who's gentle with you.
I can't recommend this film to anyone with a brain.
The House That Jack Built (2018)
The pseudo-art of exterminating people
You have to a be a sadistic inhuman pervert to "appreciate" this movie. I barely made myself watch the first 15 minutes and then fast forwarded to the end because there was nothing I could enjoy.
Life is the the most sacred thing we posses however the director revels in various forms of murder performed by an utter degenerate with an utter contempt for everything alive.
Avoid at all costs of you value empathy, compassion and kindness.
Blood Fest (2018)
Beyond horrible
There are B movies but this one is far worse than that.
Absolutely horrible dialogs, acting and setting. Tons of cliches. Very lame humor. No logic whatsoever. The movie doesn't understand if it wants to take itself seriously or not.
This movie was made by horror loving teenagers for horror loving teenagers.
The trailer for the movie is a hundred times better than the movie itself.
Don't waste you time and watch something else instead.
Edit: mind that most "reviews" here are promotional.
Upgrade (2018)
Very good and could have been excellent
I'm not sure why this movie has been met with such an acclaim but it doesn't really deserve it and here are the reasons why:
There are major plot holes and inconsistencies (mostly tech and forensics) all around:
* Global (drone) surveillance is spotty and works or doesn't work depending on what the writer wants.
* Self-driving cars don't have a fool-proof fail-safe.
* Drug administrating machines allow the patient to almost overdose him/herself by issuing certain commands.
* Low-res images can be enhanced 100-fold.
* A creator of AI acts like a ten-years old.
* AI remembers about fingerprints but doesn't remember about hair and skin particles which are impossible to find and remove.
* A remote AI shutdown is not immediate but conveniently takes enough time for the protagonist to find his way out. Also, the said shutdown works via which radio waves frequencies?
* Said AI has an IO interface to be accessed by a random hacker from the street.
* AI is completely shutdown remotely, yet it's not.
* You can dodge bullets like you're in a Matrix movie.
* AI can: drive a car, control a human body with an utmost precision, dress up, etc.
* The police absolutely suck at finding the real villains but willingly spy on the quadriplegic protagonist. Also. In 2100 real human beings are involved at surveillance - not drones, not microrobots.
* You can drop the police chasing you in the middle of freeway by disabling a single police car.
Still the end of the movie was excellent. I still wonder why producers often refuse to hire people who can reduce the number of issues which distract from the movie.
Terminal (2018)
The Void
I'd love to review this movie but there's just nothing to review.
I tortured myself for almost 50 minutes waiting for something thrilling to happen, thinking that my attention would be finally rewarded but no, nothing was there.
I don't care how it finished for I couldn't tolerate this excruciatingly slow paced meaningless tripe.
Avoid at all costs. Life could be spent so much better.