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Reviews
The Affair (2014)
Soap on roids!
I have to admit the first season kept me on the edge of my seat, despite the extraordinary coincidences and entanglement of all the characters. While the plot was soapy and unrealistic, the directing, acting, production value made it work. But I feel it's already headed downhill in the 2nd season.
Seems like the only reason they showed the story from different perspectives was to stretch it. Great idea business-wise, but tedious for the viewer.
And, of course, there were lots of gratuitous sex scenes that made me feel very sorry for the actors playing the main characters. They had to swap bodily fluids with several different actors. Man, that's a weird job to come home to your spouse from.
The Offer (2022)
Perfect show
If you have the same IQ as the couch you're sitting on.
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Sad they could only afford 100 reviews with a rating of 10.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
LOL
Guy goes to a secret party and sees naked women. That's it. That's all that happens in this unbearably long movie.
I give credit to the producers who hyped a few minutes of badly directed, acted and shot nude scenes as a masterpiece. And to Tom Cruise for pulling it off with just 3 facial expressions (which he masterfully held for minutes at a time!).
Bravi!
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
American Bubblegum
Let me save you several hours of your life and summarize this series for you: girl in a wig miraculously becomes really good at chess; lots of close-ups of the actress' botoxed face, capable of 2 expressions.
Go read Judit Polgar's biography instead. What a ride! Nothing like the boring American bubblegum loosely based on her image.
I gave it a 3 for bringing chess into the spotlight. Otherwise - zero would be too much.
Dream Home Makeover (2020)
Hardware store originality
As someone who enjoys all the interior design "before and after"s, I've been wondering for a few years now WHY in the world does everything look THE SAME? You know, shades of white and grey, some deep cool colored cabinets and a fiddle leaf fig in a corner? Well, that's the kind of design brilliance you will witness in this show.
Time to Eat with Nadiya (2019)
Shameless
Shameless propaganda of prepackaged, processed or unethically farmed produce.
In a time when humanity needs to learn to use less packaging, the industry is pushing this damaging message to the public, by means of a lovely lady in a dollhouse kitchen, who keeps repeating over and over that we should use something packaged instead of fresh.
The Tale (2018)
Disgusting and unacceptable
This is profoundly WRONG. I don't understand why respectable actors would take part in this. Why are there movies with children in explicit scenes? Who needs to see this? Yikes!
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Blasphemy and a crime against the movie-going humanity
The only reason I could come up with for the existence of this garbage is that the leading actor must be sleeping with the director, who must be sleeping with some Hollywood big shot in order to keep releasing one steaming pile of poop after another.
And the only consolation is that Freddie was cremated, so he can't be spinning in his grave.
To everyone involved in this (fake reviewers included): BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL PUT ASIDE FOR YOU!