Change Your Image
voicemanunltd
Reviews
Steve Jobless (2023)
A Good Message Inside a Horrible Snooze-Fest
Capitalism stinks and many of us know this.
Employers expect the world from their employees and give as little as possible in return.
This Indie project does something similar.
There is nothing funny about it.
The acting is terrible. The story is just as bad.
No one wants to see a struggling Middle Aged man's daily bathroom routine.
The entire Two Hour project can be summed up in a social media post that would take less than thirty seconds to read.
The only part I find mildly amusing, but not in a good way, are the (currently) two reviews which both gave Ten Stars.
Skip this one and instead spend that time plotting ways to dismantle the system that is rigged against you.
"Always beware of the fact that the only thing hindering an all-out revolution is your fear of losing the scraps they throw at you" - Gore Vidal.
Happily (2021)
If You Don't Get it, Watch it, Again!
This was one of the best movies I've seen all year, and I've had the time to watch a lot of them. Well written, well acted, well cast, well shot. True Art.
If you read my other reviews I think you'll find them to be honest opinions, and I can't give this one enough praise. It kept my attention and interest from the second Goodman showed up at their door.
Outstanding performances from the whole cast, with the shining star being Natalie Morales. She stole every scene she was in.
I won't tell you the point. I think it's better that everyone figures that out on their own.
Highly Recommended.
Donny's Bar Mitzvah (2021)
South Park Come to Life!
Completely juvenile and low brow.
Lowest Common Denominator is what they were going for and that's exactly what you get. Absolutely nonsensical. They went out of their way to make it extra disgusting. A poor message for younger viewers.
I couldn't help but laugh, but I have a dark sense of humor. If you dare to watch it, stay until the very end.
Keep Away From Children.
Garden Party Massacre (2017)
No Budget Fiasco
The Bad: Terrible performances by (almost) all. Lousy makeup. Timing was awful. No character depth.
The Good: A few genuine laughs. Everyone involved (sadly) seemed to be putting in effort. The story was (darkly) fun.
-------------
I'm guessing these people met in their first community theatre class and immediately decided they had the whole show biz thing figured out.
The only one who didn't stink was the guy who had no lines. The script was there, but not one of them could get it out with any conviction. I did like how the w/d, Greg Blair, repeatedly made fun of himself and played the group dummy. The cast seemed to be having fun during production. There are a few bloopers during the credits.
Ultimately, a waste of 68 minutes.
--------------
To all involved, keep trying. Just about everyone stinks when they're starting out.
It looked like most of you have potential.
Now STOP POSTING TEN STAR REVIEWS FOR YOURSELVES! NOTHING IS TEN STARS!
-------------
I was going to give a generous five stars, despite the myriad of obvious flaws, but I took away two stars because of the fake reviews.
I can't, in good conscience, recommend this film.
Bright (2017)
Predictable, but not Terrible, I guess *** No Big Spoilers ***
Humans, Orcs, Fairies & Elves all living together? OK, maybe not a bad concept. Maybe a statement about classes of people and inequality? No, it's not. At the start of the film there is a synopsis that says that only a very special person can handle a magic wand. Known as a Bright (hence, the title). Anyone else touching a magic wand would be killed instantly. Well, guess who turns out to be a Bright? Hint: It's not the Cholo in the wheelchair.
The movie has its good points; a cool car chase, a cute Elf fighting against her own people's evil plan and a few decent laughs, but, overall, it falls short of a what could be called a "good movie".
The acting is dry and without depth. The characters aren't charismatic. You won't be emotionally invested in any of them. The fight scenes are short clips pieced together which screams of poor editing and plot holes that you could drive a semi truck through without slowing down. It contains elements we've all seen before: conflict between partners, an evil master plan by a group who feels superior, main characters fighting against all odds when their peers have turned their back on them, but it doesn't really make any of them work for the audience.
I didn't really find it worth watching except to say that I had seen it.
Below average - 4/10.
The Conjuring (2013)
It could have been good, but it wasn't. Not even a little.
Total garbage. This movie is not the least bit scary to anyone over the age of 6. Save your time and money and go see something else. While the characters were likable and the acting wasn't terrible, the script leaves the observer wondering what, exactly, happened to the story. The end was incredibly anti-climactic and I, personally, was insulted that they thought that I would swallow their tripe. I'm having a hard time filling up ten lines of text because I don't feel this film is worthy of discussion. It is best left alone in a dark, unused vault where nothing of value is stored and no one cares to, or ever will enter. It only got one star from me because I can't rate it a 0. Please avoid this overly advertised piece of Hollywood trash. You have been warned.