I'm not a fan of found footage genre for me it's the laziest form of film making but, I started watching so I stuck with it and it didn't. Change my mind. It's almost 2 hours of pure torture of which 70 percent leaves you sitting looking at a dark screen listening to over the top
sound effects and some bloke running around saying ''hello'' on and endless loop 10 percent watching 4 boring people doing boring things and 20 percent watching a circle of torchlight and dirt add to that you get a whiny screaming obese woman and the bare backside of a man running around the dessert you have this lame excuse for entertainment in a nutshell. AVOID AT ALL COST!!
Reviews
104 Reviews
Kill Her Goats
(2023)
I'm not sure what I just watched...
19 April 2023
I mean, it had all the elements of a good slasher naked girls, girls in underwear, girls in underwear getting slashed, blood and gore, but no story development, just reasonable looking naked girls who couldn't deliver a natural line if their lives depended on it let alone a natural boob (with the exception of the aussie girl) by the end of the movie I just sat there asking myself what just happened? Is that it?, what happened to the story of the Tupp house? Was this all just about daddies money, if so why even bother with a story about the Tupp house and not carry on with it ,
all in all nice to look at and a little fun but good cinema it isn't.
Dashe 3: Long she zhi Zhan
(2022)
Chinese Jurassic Park
19 March 2023
I watched a subtitled version of this which was fairly horrible to read Chinese doesn't seem to translate to English very well but you'll get the gist .The acting was mostly ok but way over done in some places as to get annoying at times especially from the old professor character, The best part of this movie is the creatures which are really well done and make the entire movie well worth the watch and one you will remember.
Overall a watchable movie but far from great, I gave it a seven just for the work done on the creatures, the giant frog being my personal favourite i would watch it again if i can find better subtitles.
Overall a watchable movie but far from great, I gave it a seven just for the work done on the creatures, the giant frog being my personal favourite i would watch it again if i can find better subtitles.
The Friendship Game
(2022)
Teen angst at it's dullest
20 November 2022
A confusing, teen angst movie that makes a terrible attempt at trying to be clever and when that fails tries to cover it up with what can only be described as 1970's artsy fartsy poor horror/scifi movie effects that don't hide anything I was honestly expecting the hurdy gurdy man song to start playing for most of this nonsense that in the end amounted to absolutely amounted to a nothing in a nothing movie, about four nothing teens doing nothing but being miserable in a horror movie that isn't a horror movie but a teenage angst movie that is as dull as watching paint dry on growing grass in the middle of winter.
Among the Living
(2022)
Dull and pointless
7 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The only good thing that can be said about this movie is that the countryside is pretty to look at other than that it is completely devoid of anything interesting even the zombies are boring and stupid and very few, the entire thing just seemed to have no point at all.
We have Harry who is the most pathetic excuse for a man ever strolling the country with his little sister and what amounts to no weapons against zombies crying about everything, they run into Karl who is the only one it seems to be able to survive and another kid, Harry betrays Karl and leaves him for the one persistent zombie out of the entire 3 in the movie ,once again Harry is strolling through the countryside weaponless only now with 2 kids in tow and the entire thing ends with Harry sitting on a boat and crying, again.
We have Harry who is the most pathetic excuse for a man ever strolling the country with his little sister and what amounts to no weapons against zombies crying about everything, they run into Karl who is the only one it seems to be able to survive and another kid, Harry betrays Karl and leaves him for the one persistent zombie out of the entire 3 in the movie ,once again Harry is strolling through the countryside weaponless only now with 2 kids in tow and the entire thing ends with Harry sitting on a boat and crying, again.
The Hoot Owl
(2022)
Beyond Awful
19 September 2022
An hour and 10 minutes I will mourn the loss of for a long time after sitting through this absolute trash of a thing that doesn't have anything at all to redeem it The acting is atrocious ,storyline is atrocious and the cinematography is atrocious, the best thing about this is the end credits knowing I will never see it again let alone hear it, even the soundtrack is atrocious.
Please, please, please IMDB let us have minus ratings even if there aren't enough minus numbers to rate this creation from the mind of a complete and utter simpleton who should never, ever be allowed to write another word in their entire life.
Please, please, please IMDB let us have minus ratings even if there aren't enough minus numbers to rate this creation from the mind of a complete and utter simpleton who should never, ever be allowed to write another word in their entire life.
Room 203
(2022)
Slow burn gem
21 April 2022
I enjoy a good slow burn and this one was enjoyable and kept my attention throughout until the end despite the complaints from those fools who think horror has to be about slash and slaughter and whine when it isn't then leave a movie a bad review.
The actors did a great job building the tension throughout the movie right to the end, the cinematography was really well done and at no point was the dialogue overdone or descend into unwanted or unnecessary nonsense.
All up, if you just want to kick back and relax with a horror that isn't laden with blood and limbs but has a good story then I definitely recommend Room 203.
The actors did a great job building the tension throughout the movie right to the end, the cinematography was really well done and at no point was the dialogue overdone or descend into unwanted or unnecessary nonsense.
All up, if you just want to kick back and relax with a horror that isn't laden with blood and limbs but has a good story then I definitely recommend Room 203.
The Seed
(II) (2021)
Don't
11 March 2022
Two legs of mutton dressed as lamb with terrible makeup and a plain jane find an alien critter then bore you to death for 55 minutes before stuff gets just plain weird. Gets mildly entertaining at the 1hr 13 mark but very predictable, don't bother unless you're bored.
Collision Earth
(2020 TV Movie)
I want to rate it less...
8 September 2021
But unfortunatly there isn't a lower rating than 1,honestly,even by Asylums low standards this one an incredible stinker and the writer should never be allowed to write anything, anywhere, anytime ever again, the actors should go get a job anywhere other than acting and the director should hibernate for the rest of their lifetime in sheer embarrassment.
Dragon Fury
(2021)
Seriously?
16 June 2021
I know movies are about suspending reality but can you really expect me to believe a grandmother in her 60's and two overweight women, one of them hysterical before the movie even gets off the ground, are Special Forces? Even my imagination can't stretch that far.
Lets not even start on the appalling acting and dreadful dragon fx.
Lets not even start on the appalling acting and dreadful dragon fx.
Ashburn Waters
(2019)
Horrendous
16 June 2021
I don't know what this is supposed to be but it is truly awful right from the beginning to the end, the script is awful, the dialogue is awful and the acting is woeful, woeful like they dragged these people straight off the set of an ABC children's show and told them to act scared which none of them actually has the acting ability to do so particularly when there is ZERO chemistry between the actors, if it wasn't for the magnificent boob scenes this wouldn't be worth the time it takes to watch it and it's lucky for that girl she has those assets because her acting is terrible, as for the '' demon ", are they serious! I've seen better makeup and costumes at a kindergarten pantomime than this pathetic effort. Don't waste your time, this flick is absolutely pathetic.
Great White
(2021)
Doesn't deserve the bad reviews
15 May 2021
Great White really doesn't deserve the bad reviews it's received here from people who have completely forgotten what movies are here for, to entertain us, and in my opinion Great White delivers, it's a draw you in and keep you interested movie with stunning scenery and good acting from most of the cast with a good storyline I thoroughly enjoyed, it does have a couple of ridiculous scenario's but what shark movie doesn't, those scenario's are easily forgiven given then the type of movie this is.
Give it a watch, you won't be sorry.
Give it a watch, you won't be sorry.
Blood Rush
(2012)
If you hired it, demand a refund, if you bought it, burn it
13 May 2021
....but whatever you do, DON'T WATCH IT!, this is truly awful, from the script to the shoddy camera work and dear god the acting is absolutely the worst, right from the first scene I wanted these people eaten by zombies, they would have been more interesting, are they all from the same family in hillbilly mountain US of A? They all have the same face, in particular the nose.
Whatever you do avoid this trash of a movie.
Whatever you do avoid this trash of a movie.
School's Out Forever
(2021)
Very watchable
7 May 2021
A wonderfully different take on on problem of today that will keep you interested despite the annoying lead character who for me was just annoyingly pathetic. The character of Matron played by Jasmine Blackborow was was well played and a great addition to what overall was a great cast in a beautifully shot film that I will watch again and again.
This is a movie that shows what great films the Brits can actually do with the right people compared to to the rubbish that is all too often spewed out from the British movie industry.
This is a movie that shows what great films the Brits can actually do with the right people compared to to the rubbish that is all too often spewed out from the British movie industry.
Dark Light
(2019)
I enjoyed it
7 May 2021
I read the reviews before watching this and despite all the negatives watched it anyway and enjoyed it.
Yes it had plot holes, what movie doesn't, you can only fit so much into a finite space and sacrifices have to be made but those small sacrifices didn't detract from my enjoyment.
The acting was nowhere near as bad as claimed, in fact I have seen way, way worse in movies most of the bad reviewers claim they the acting is good in and most complain about every movie they review which makes me think they just want to moan instead of enjoying a movie for what it is meant to be, entertainment.
Dark Light is an entertaining monster movie that is well acted, well filmed, has plenty of action and suspense ,forget the negative nancies and enjoy it for what it is.
Yes it had plot holes, what movie doesn't, you can only fit so much into a finite space and sacrifices have to be made but those small sacrifices didn't detract from my enjoyment.
The acting was nowhere near as bad as claimed, in fact I have seen way, way worse in movies most of the bad reviewers claim they the acting is good in and most complain about every movie they review which makes me think they just want to moan instead of enjoying a movie for what it is meant to be, entertainment.
Dark Light is an entertaining monster movie that is well acted, well filmed, has plenty of action and suspense ,forget the negative nancies and enjoy it for what it is.
The Resort
(2021)
What a shame
3 May 2021
What started out as a promising movie quickly went south and ended as complete rubbish turning out that the only decent part of the movie was Michelle Randolph in a bikini, the scenery is beautiful but the acting and FX were sub par for 2021,watch this one on a lazy day where you just don't care what your're watching.
Venom Coast
(2021)
Deserves a minus 10
2 May 2021
Only in the 5th month of 2021 and this one already has made it into my top three worst movies of the year, not only for the worst script, camerawork and scenario's bust most of all the absolutely atrocious acting of the entire cast. Save yourself the angst of trying to fight through this complete rubbish and give it a massive miss.
The Dead Ones
(2019)
Slightly unique
23 April 2021
It took me about 30 minutes to figure out what was going on in this one but once I did it actually turned out to not be too bad a movie with a slightly unusual take on a modern and old school problem, those being school shootings and bullying. Although I found it a cliched in parts it was, for me, unique in that in my country school shootings just don't happen so it was a different take on horror.
The lighting for this movie was well done and not too dark that the movie was lost in the dark and the cinematography was spot on, the acting was adequate if a little stunted at times and the dialogue was perfect without a load of unnecessary explanations or talking and I liked the slow character development, there's also plenty of gore for the gorehounds ,all in all a solid 7.
The lighting for this movie was well done and not too dark that the movie was lost in the dark and the cinematography was spot on, the acting was adequate if a little stunted at times and the dialogue was perfect without a load of unnecessary explanations or talking and I liked the slow character development, there's also plenty of gore for the gorehounds ,all in all a solid 7.
Apocalypse of Ice
(2020)
Even by Asylum standards this one majorly sucks
21 April 2021
I actually found this one harrowing to get through it's so bad,but I always push through to the end no matter how bad a movie gets and this stinker is really,
really bad. Everything about it sucks from the very beginning to the very end, cinematography, acting ,FX, dialogue, everything, it is a truly awful excuse for a movie.
Barney Burman's Wild Boar
(2019)
Entertaining but....
12 January 2021
I've seen some dumb women in horror movies but these girls takes the prize, everything they do from start to finish is just plain pointless and stupid and the ending is ridiculous. That being said the costumes and makeup are really well done, the plot ,dialogue and the acting were a bit on again, off again but all up an entertaining movie.
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