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eric_hanson
Reviews
P.S. (2004)
Disappointing Topher Grace Vehicle
As a Topher Grace fan I found the movie enjoyable. Though he shows off his usual dry wit and excellent delivery, he is given a chance to really make his character come alive (unfortunately, some of these best scenes were deleted from the movie, i.e. the restaurant scene).
However, those people who may not be fans of the actors or simply looking for a good romantic movie should really look elsewhere. The message of this movie is one of the worst I have every seen. At every point the main character (Louise) is made to see that her life sucks because it is her fault. Apparently it is her fault her husband cheated on her hundreds of times (and her fault she didn't notice this). Apparently people are not responsible for their own actions, only other people's.
It is also Louise's fault that her brother is a drug addict. He never apologized for the impact his addiction had on her life, and the movie makes it clear that he shouldn't have to.
It is also her fault that her mother is emotionally distant, the movie portrays her as uncaring and unloving. A discussion with her brother reveals that it is Louise's fault for not gaining her mother's love, maybe if she was a f****'ed up addict like her brother, it would be different.
It is also Louise's fault that her best friend KNOWS that Topher is not her dead boyfriend, and KNOWS that they have a relationship (F. Scott and Main character), yet tries to have sex with him twice. Her friend is married with two kids, a rich husband, yet she has the gall to tell Louise that Louise should be thankful for what she has. What a hypocrite.
Every character is this moving, with the exception of Louise and F. Scott, are self-centered, loveless, blameless, hypocrites. The best part is, that the movie totally validates their behavior and shows that for Louise to have a good life, she must just suck it up. Even F. Scott begins to act this way. He never apologizes for saying that he sleep with Louise's best friend, though he said it to hurt her. In the end, she has to suck it up, yet again, and apologize to him.
Not only that but there was definite abuse of power issues. F. Scott believes she controls whether he gets in. Of course he will have to play up to her. She doesn't reveal the truth until the very end of the movie, (or deleted scene).
Lastly, the really, really terrible thing in this movie, is that Louise's ex-husband has slept with hundreds of women during their marriage, her brother knew, yet he justifies not telling Louise by saying he was keeping his word to her husband. I don't give a flying f*** if the pope asks you to keep a secret, in this day and age of AIDs and other STDs, you don't keep a secret like that from your sister. Not if you love her. Louise is at extremely high risk for STDs, but her catching a life altering disease is less important to her brother than keeping his word.
To conclude, if you like f***'ed up people, screwing over a reclusive, depressed lady, this movie is for you! It really should have been named "How Louise Becomes An Emotional Doormat". After seeing this movie, I was no longer surprised I had never heard of it until it came to DVD.
Serendipity (2001)
What a sleeper, did they even try to make a good movie?
Wow, I can't believe people consider this a 'good' movie. Now, I have seen much worse, but there are much more romantic/funny comedies with John Cusack.
This is a mediocre film at best. While the acting wasn't terrible, but not great, for a romantic comedy, there was little passion, little romance. There were many loose ends that don't show up or are not addressed. Unfortunately, the main characters do come off as complete cowards. They don't know themselves well enough to realize that they don't love the people they are engaged to. How do we know they aren't in love? By the utter lack of remorse both characters have for leaving their finances. I can think of few things more romantic than the continual escape from commitment that these two show.
The movie doesn't even end with a wedding scene, more than likely both will get cold feet and drop each other like hot potatoes once a commitment is nearing. This movie is really about two people who can't commit to anything, unlike Cusack's previous characters, who were more than willing to make a deep commitment (Loyd in Say Anything, Martin in Grosse Pointe Blank, etc.).
The greatest failure of this movie was the complete lack of any twists turns, or anything of interest. When the movie ended, I felt like they had failed to include a climax to the story, which basically fits the whole movie: boring. No suspense about whether the two will end up together, no joy when they do, no consequences to their actions.
It is sad that people are so blind to the shoddiness of this movie, that they simply rebuke any criticism with 'Everyone is too Cynical!'. Criticism of this movie is not cynicism, simply unbiased examination. There are many other better romantic comedies, even ones with Grace Kelly, or Eva Marie Saint.
If you think this movie is great, try these movies, you hearts will explode: The Princess Bride, Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, High Fidelity, Keeping the Faith, Charade, Rear Window, North by Northwest, or There's Something About Mary (which is a good examination of idealized romance vs. today's society).
Wing Commander (1999)
What a heap of junk!
I was introduced to the wing commander saga through the Super Nintendo game of the same name. When I heard about the movie, I was excited because I thought the universe was interesting and loved the game.
However, this movie is a sad, sad waste of film and time. To address some of the technical issues, here is a small list of the many flaws:
1) Sonar in space! What were they thinking? Did they even take a single physics class in high school? Sonar works off the principal of a medium providing a transport for some sort of energy (usually a sound, hence the 'PING' noise in subs and the movie). However, space has no medium where this would work, even oxygen isn't a suitable medium, hence the use of it underwater. It is made extremely clear in the movie that it is sonar being used. 2) The ship falls off the end of the runway when pushed off. Sorry, there is no gravity in space, the ship would simply float forward. It was made clear that the gravity/atmosphere of the main ship did not extend to the flight deck.
3) The pilgrims sensitivity to black holes. The idea that a human would be able to detect something instruments couldn't is ridiculous.
You may ask why this nitpicking is important. Several reasons, credibility and the simple respect to do some research or even consult a science professional.
Critique of the movie itself. There is minimal character development. There is also little plot. No twists, no turns. This movie is a sci-fi movie, meaning, science-fiction. The movie blatantly ignores the science aspect, and is pretty week on the fiction part too. This was a showcase for special effects and that is it. While those are good, it certainly wasn't anything to make a movie about. The games themselves were largely ignored, where was sonar? When I played, we had radar, the nautical themes were not to heavy, and it didn't have a plot other than 'go kill the cats'. The movie seemed to be like a non-interactive version of the game.
If you want good sci-fi, go see Contact, The Andromeda Strain, 2001, Sphere, and many others. If you want good action, go see the Matrix,Armagedon, or one of the millions of other movies. This movie failed on all aspects. For all the game fans out there, you need to realize that because the games are good, it isn't some insult to them if the movie is a load of cat crap.
Ice Age (2002)
Great Animation, Great Cast, what happened to the story?
SPOILERS!
A+ for animation, the humans looked human, loved the look and feel.
However, if you want a story about a mis-understood giant and an annoying small sidekick, you would be better off watching _Shrek (2001)_. Everytime I would see a scene that was suppposed to be funny, I would think "This is just like Shrek, only, different somehow, oh yes, not as funny". The one true original scene was the ice cave sequence. Everything else was a stereotypical mishmash of animation cliches. Oh look, the psuedo-villian has a last-second change of heart (Emperor's New Groove). Oh look, a lake of lava, never seen that before (Shrek). Oh look, creatures stuck with a baby and hilarious antics ensue (Monsters Inc).
Seems like the animators had some cool technology to show off and simply cut and paste a plot together. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are broad elements common to almost all movies/stories, however, it seemed that Ice Age went out of its way to simply reuse other bits of movies, without giving it a personal touch/ new spin. What a shame. Great cast though.
Titty Slickers (1991)
Parody/Hot Sex
Typical porn flick that adds a bit of comedy and has many lovely women.
Summary
Three men take a vacation at a Dude Ranch, thinking they will learn to be cowboys. Things look up when the men discover it is actually a sex ranch. However, disaster strikes when one of the wives comes to visit. At first appalled she is "comforted" by one of the ranches lovely ladies and gets a little revenge with her husbands best friend.
Rating relevant per Genre
Plot(hah): B Attractiveness: A Explicitness: A