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davemanddd03546
Reviews
Private Teacher (1983)
the first porno i ever watched
i graduated from high school in 1983 and it was during that summer just before i went off to college that i went to a party and was able to get my first taste of porn. while sitting in a room with about 30-40 other post-high school/pre-college kids of both sexes, we all watched a porno about a nerd who masturbated while looking through a telescope to spy on his neighbors having sex. at the time i thought it was one of the worst movies i ever saw as the quality of the movie just wasn't what i had come to expect from normal movies. about the only other movie i thought was worse was "the rocky horror picture show" and we all know how bad that movie was despite it's pop culture status, but after i had grown to appreciate the comedic value of "rocky horror" and the fun in going to see it and acting out its parts, i also developed a taste for the cinematic type of porn like "private teacher". no it wasn't the greatest acting in the world and yes the plots were thin and more often than not even non-existent, but after watching more porn in the privacy of my own home, i grew (pardon the pun) to appreciate porn for what it was, at least for me, as a means for stimulation and ideas to aid in my sex life. after getting married, i pretty much lost my need to watch porn and had gotten away from it for several years until just a few years ago, i moved to a section of town just down the road from a video store. after frequenting the store to rent "normal" videos for several months, one day i happened to walk by a door in the rear of the store that i had never noticed before that had a sign on it that said "adult videos" and so i went inside their "back room" and saw they had quite a collection of pornos. after looking around awhile i selected a couple videos and took them home. boy was i disappointed. these videos were nothing like the porn i had watched back in the middle 80's. they had absolutely no plot, no storyline, no acting, just sex, sex and more sex which ain't all bad, but after awhile, even watching people having sex can get boring if there's no storyline to pique your interest beyond all the sex. plus, the one thing i noticed more than any other was the fact that all the girls in these movies were just that, girls, barely 18 or 19 and not one mature woman among them. they all had tattoos and body piercings with shaved pubic areas that just don't do anything for me whatsoever. needless to say, i took the movies back and didn't rent another one for quite awhile until one day, i finally broke down and bought a computer, got hooked up to the internet and discovered a whole new world with internet porn. one day, i just happened to be browsing a site that featured "vintage porn" and one of the titles available, as luck would have it was "private teacher". of course i just had to buy it and my life hasn't been the same ever since. hee-hee!!! no but seriously though, this movie had everything a good porn movie should have, of course there are some excellent sex scenes, but there's also some good acting from honey wilder as aunt diane who shows real concern for her nephew jimmy played by tom byron. it has a plot and character development when you learn that jimmy lives with his aunt because her sister and his mother had died and she took him into her home then and so you understand why he was such a recluse and resorted to spying on the neighbors, 2 stewardesses who have a kinky streak to their variety of sex games they like to play with their male consorts. there is some humor and comedic themes, especially the scene where the TV announcer comes right out of the TV and gives aunt diane an actual demonstration of having sex and then returns in a later role as a masseuse where they experience deja vu all over again. hee-hee!!! the scenes between the teacher (kay parker) and jimmy are every school boy's fantasy come to life and the resulting confidence that jimmy develops afterwards leads him to venture over to the neighbors' house where he engages in some sex play with the stewardesses himself only to fall asleep which makes aunt diane go looking for him. it's funny how he makes a complete 180 whereas before she couldn't get him out of the house, now she can't get him to come home. then she has her friend marsha, marsha, marsha help her find him and when they do find him, he's got "morning wood" and it is absolutely hilarious to watch marsha try to put it back inside his pants. at first aunt diane is upset, but then after watching what goes on between marsha and jimmy, she can't help but get turned on and join in the fun. all in all, this is probably my all-time favorite porno. i highly recommend it.
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (2005)
predictable but heartwarming
at first, i thought this movie was going to be just a "chick flick", but once i started to watch it, i realized it was much better than one of those type of movies. much like "sea biscuit", this is yet another story about an underdog race horse called "sonador", which translated from Spanish means "dreamer", and actually the underdog isn't just the horse, but a whole bunch of underdogs, specifically one family and the men who work for them. anyway, they all overcome almost insurmountable odds to triumph over the more heavily favored "rich" folks. you gotta love Hollywood when they continue to churn out these predictable-type of heartwarming movies that still make us feel good about ourselves in the end. kurt russell plays the father who's too busy with his work at the horse track to attend to the need for attention from his precocious daughter, dakota fanning. one day he finally lets her go to the track with him only to see the horse he's been training for the bill gates of horse racing (played quite convincingly by David morse) break a leg. in case you didn't know, whenever a race horse breaks a leg in real life, 99% of the time they euthanize it. humans should be lucky we don't put them to sleep when they only break a leg. anyway, russell doesn't want fanning to see them put the horse down right out on the track and instead takes the horse into the stable where she convinces him not to kill the horse which causes him to get into a confrontation with morse who promptly fires him and on a whim, agrees to give the injured horse to russell. the rest of the movie involves, not only the rehabilitation of the horse, but the rehabilitation of all the familial relationships between, not only russell and fanning, but also russell and his wife, played by the always beautiful elisabeth shue, as well as russell and his own father, played by kris kristofferson. there's also another side plot involving the hispanic men who work for russell that comes full circle from their own adversity as well. all in all, this was a very good movie. i would give it an 8 and climbing.
Cheek to Cheek (1986)
more like a slap to the face
this wasn't the best porno i've seen. they could have used some better cast members, that's for sure. frank james is one of the ugliest guys in porn & i was disappointed that they didn't show more of the rather under-utilized honey wilder. i wish they would have had more scenes with honey & less with the "terribly tattooed one", viper. amber lynn almost saved this film, but alas, i really just can't bring myself to recommend watching it. sorry.
Night Trips (1989)
tori welles is hot!!!
i absolutely loved this movie, probably one of the best pornos from the period of late 80's to early 90's. tori welles has never looked more delicious as she practically dominates the whole film since all of the sex scenes take place in her mind. i still don't see what the problem was. it's not like her dreams kept her from sleeping. we should all be so lucky to dream such vivid sex scenes. recommendation - watch it.
If My Mother... Only Knew (1985)
she does know!!!
this is one of my all-time favorite porno movies!!! it's still quite a bit far-fetched. after all, who would take an older honey wilder over her younger daughter, amber lynn??? don't get me wrong now, i love the older woman/younger man storyline, but if truly given a choice, i think more people would choose amber. anyway, honey's sex scenes are awesome in their own right but i especially liked the voyeuristic tendencies in the film. there's just something about watching somebody having sex in secret & not wanting to get caught watching them. it's truly a guilty pleasure, as is this film. recommendation - watch it.