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Anaconda: Offspring (2008)
A horror.
Anaconda: Offspring (2008)
CGI mutant snakes that look like Kermit the frog escape from a secret facility and are hunted by a team that is killed off in order of acting ability. There's loads of blood and gore to attempt to distract you from the real horror, which is the script.
David Hasselhoff is de facto star, and while he tries, he was never much of an actor. John Rhys-Davies cashes another check to waste his talent. Crystal Allen does the best, and almost succeeds in creating a character that the audience will care about; a minor miracle considering all she is up against.
Bad in the worst way; i.e. Dull.
Magnum, P.I.: Deja Vu (1985)
Magnum in the UK
Series 6 starts with a double-length episode filmed in England, with Magnum and Higgins arriving to prepare a castle for a reception thrown by Robin Masters. Whiles in the country, Magnum plans to see his old war buddy, but is shocked to discover he has died. But was it an accident?
This is a Hollywood view of England, with castles, posh folk, and ghosts, but the casting is spot on, with Francesca Annis, Julian Glover, and Peter Davison all featuring in key parts. There's the usual yanks in the UK jokes (driving on the wrong side of the road etc), but the charm of Magnum is the interactions of its characters; and while TC is largely sidelined in Morocco, there's still plenty of interplay between Higgins and Magnum, particularly in relation to Higgins refusal to see his family.
A good opening episode, and nice to see real overseas locations being used.
I Wake Up Screaming (1941)
Fun murder-mystery.
Despite the title, this isn't a horror film, rather a murder-mystery. Victor Mature stars as Frankie Christopher, a promoter, who the police suspect has murdered his latest protege, played by Carole Landis. The story is revealed through flashbacks, as we're introduced to each potential killer, including Laird Cregar, Alan Mowbray, Allyn Joslyn, and Elisha Cook Jr. Bettie Grable adds romantic interest as the victim's sister.
This is a fun, well-cast, atmospheric murder mystery. Often sold as a horror film, or film-noir, it's closer to the style of murder-mysteries being pumped out by Hollywood in the late 30s/early 40s.
Where Has Poor Mickey Gone? (1964)
A slice of macabre justice
Where Has Poor Mickey Gone? is a 60s quickie long unseen but brought back to public attention by the excellent Talking Pictures channel.
Four young louts are out looking for kicks, harassing anyone they come across, when they discover a magic shop owned by Emilio (Warren Mitchell), who is starting to lock up for the evening. Breaking in, they start to ransack his shop, playing with his props, stealing his wine, whatever their whims desire. Emilio discovers them, but before he can call the police, they have him tied up. Finding a covered football game, the gang start to play, despite the desperate pleas of Emilio.
From this point, the film takes a macabre turn. Feeling like a chapter of EC Comics, the tables are slowly and subtly turned on the hooligans, leading up to a cracking final reveal.
Where Has Poor Mickey Gone? is a low-budget quickie, but makes the most of it's spooky script and good cast, with Mitchell and gang leader John Malcolm stand outs.