Change Your Image
tygerhardt
Reviews
Good Luck Chuck (2007)
It's a bad film.
Look...I'll make it simple. I like porn...really kinky stuff, so I'm not put off by sex...and I have no problem with raunchy comedy. I also didn't view this film with a lot of high expectations. Bottom line...this film is not funny or sexy. It's just plain dumb.
No, it's not ANYTHING like Superbad or 40 Year Old Virgin...It's not even like There's Something About Mary. It's not a "turn your mind off and enjoy the ride" comedy, it's just bad. Seriously, if you think this film is anything like the previously mentioned films, you probably can't tell the difference between champagne and Coca Cola. Good Luck Chuck has more in common with many of the ridiculously bad 80's comedies than more contemporary films.
The jokes are stale and lame. Dane Cook and Jessica Alba have about as magic on screen as an ass full of colon cancer. They make Jim Varney/Ernest P. Worrell seem like Patton Oswald in comparison.
In summary...there's fun, low brow humor and there's lousy film making...Good Luck Chuck is the yawn inducing result of the latter. I haven't seen this much lack of comedic imagination committed to film since The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Avoid this film.
Hannibal Rising (2007)
I walked out after about 30 minutes into the film...
...I don't do that very often.
This was a horrible film and it tarnishes an otherwise decent series.
Honestly...they should have got someone who at least looks even remotely like a young Anthony Hopkins to play the part of Hannibal...Personally I think they should have cast Giovanni Ribisi in the role.
There's so much wrong with this film that I could literally write several pages on it, and to be honest, I just don't have the time.
The audience was audibly groaning...My wife and I were the first to walk out...a few others followed suit.
Save your money.
Idiocracy (2006)
Starts out strong...peters out at the end.
I felt this film started out really strong. It made it's point brilliantly and if you're like me and you hate a lot of what passes as entertainment in our consumer culture and you have a knack for spotting how cultural trends evolve you almost get the impression that Judge is a modern day Nostradamus.
He also scores points for casting Luke Wilson in this role. Wilson seems to have found his niche playing relatively straight laced characters who are amusingly dumbfounded by the extraordinary level of absurdity that surrounds their lives (take his character in Old School for example).
Initially Idiocracy reminded me a little bit of Woody Allen's "Sleeper".
I can also see why some folks may be put off by this film. The cultural divide in America at this time is pretty wide and it really takes a poke at the more obtuse side of said divide.
Where I find fault with this film is some of the characters are a little under developed (for instance...what of Beef Supreme? It could have added a lot to make the later half of the film more engaging had we known a little more about his history earlier on in the film). Or President Camacho...it would have been interesting to see a bit more of how this society developed into what it became.
Like I said initially, the first half really comes out swinging but pretty much from the middle on, it loses a little steam...and the ending was pretty disappointing. It's almost felt like the studio forced them to put a typical Hollywood style "everything worked out fine and they lived happily ever after" ending. And the post credit "extra" was pretty lame and unnecessary.
I think if this film could have delivered solidly from start to finish, it could have easy been one of the most scathing social commentaries since Network.
Sadly it falls just short of the mark at the end, however the first half of the film makes this film worth watching.
The Naked Mile (2006)
It's a shame I couldn't give this a -10.
This is officially the worst film I have ever seen...Seriously.
For the longest time my benchmark for terrible film making was Lou Ferrigno's Hercules (1983). Well, move over Lou...after 26 years, you've finally met your match.
I actually feel like I lost IQ points after watching it.
My new top 10 worst films of all time (from the "top" down) is as follows...
1. American Pie 5: The Naked Mile
2. Lou Ferrigno's Hercules
3. Ulli Lommel's BTK Killer
4. Barb Wire
5. Open Water
6. Gigli
7. Pushing Tin
8. Every film ever made that was based on a video game.
9. Battlefield Earth
10. Waterworld
Casino Royale (2006)
Best "Bond" in years...worst Bond script/story in years.
I've been a Bond fan ever since I was a kid...I've seen them all from Sean Connery on...but let's be honest, the last few installments have been pretty hit or miss, so I was thrilled to hear so many good reviews of this new Bond film.
While the new guy is clearly the best Bond in years...decades even, the story and the script were simply terrible. Yes, there were some great action scenes, but they weren't enough to carry the obtuse, poorly written story and that is truly a shame. Had someone bothered to realize that it takes more than simply putting a new face on Bond and losing the more cartoonish elements of previous Bond films to make a decent picture, this could have possibly been the best Bond film in the history of the series. Unfortunately for the cinema going public, this is not the case. Truly tragic.
Oh...and the new Bond villain is a pants wetting uber wuss. Trut so pure.
This and the new Rocky film will probably be icing on the crap cake that has been the 2006 movie season...which, aside from a few good documentaries and a couple of decent offerings, was one of the worst years in film history.
Open Water (2003)
Back to the loch with ye, Nessie!
Let me start out by saying I personally love indy films and generally hate most mainstream Hollywood productions. However...my love of indy film does not blind me to the fact that this was simply a horrible film. This would not even make a passing grade for a film school project. Considering all the well made films that come out of the Sundance Film festival, I'm truly shocked that this received the buzz it did.
Look...even the most average indy film that's worth watching has one or more of the following...
1) A good script
2) A fresh perspective on a familiar (worn) theme
3) Good actors
4) Unique cinematography
5) Thought provoking social commentary
Open Water had none of this. If the notion that one can quickly go from being a vomit inducing yuppie douch bag one minute to being a floating all you can eat buffet for sharks the next is deep, thought provoking film making, then I truly weep for the medium.
Open water was poorly written, had little (if anything) to offer in the way of character development, was poorly filmed (I felt like I was watching the film on Windows Media player...ohhhhh...how cutting edge) and had acting that was so bad that I have not seen it's equal since Lou Furrigno's "Hercules".
Seriously...I've been more entertained watching tranny hookers argue on Capp Street and they didn't even have sharks swimming around waiting to take a bite out of them. Also I didn't spend more than 15 minutes doing it and it didn't cost me a dime.
This film literally takes the movie goers money and leaves them with absolutely nothing in return. I have walked out on only three films and demanded my money back in my lifetime and...this should have been the fourth.
Open Water offers nothing fresh, new, interesting, thought provoking or entertaining. This may very well be the worst independent film ever to hit major theaters.
Jesus' Son (1999)
Last Train to Sucks-ville
This movie was one of the most sorry assed films I have had the displeasure of watching. How anyone can mention this film in the same breath as such films as Requiem For A Dream or Drugstore Cowboy is completely beyond me.
The lead actors were really annoying. I have known a lot of junkies. Very few of them look or act too much like the actors in this film. I found them to be completely unbelievable and absurd. This film tries WAY too hard to be hip. The dialog in many of the scenes between the male and female leads often dives deeply into cliché, psudo-hip dreck that may appeal to high school kids or 20 somethings who think heroin addicts in love are super cool. The delivery of said scenes makes Sid and Nancy come off looking like f***ing Hamlet. I was left with the impression that the book was better than the film.
This theme has been done to death in other more brilliant films. That's not to say that this film didn't have a few great visual moments and a few decent scenes courtesy of Jack Black and Dennis Hopper, but they were hardly enough to save this film from becoming a long, dreary Requiem For A Dream Light.
If you find shows like The Real World to be "really deep" or if you are the kind of person who thinks attractive actors/actresses = talent then this film should really do it for you.
If you have known any junkies personally then you know that their lives seldom if ever resemble the lives of the folks portrayed in this film and you will find it to be a complete fluff piece. You might even find it laughably unrealistic if the film wasn't so damn droll in general.
Save your bucks and the precious moments that will be robbed from your life by watching this crap-tastrophe and just rent Drugstore Cowboy, Permanent Midnight or Requiem For A Dream.