Reviews

As a visual spectacle, it is truly stunning. Strip the shiny distractions away though and honestly, it's a bit boring. It's at least 40 minutes too long, some of the dialogue is truly dreadful and the plot has all the complexity of a ham sandwich.

People lauding Cameron's return...I just don't get it?? This is no Aliens, nor is it a patch on Terminator 2, two films that themselves had 'blow you away' visuals in their day (and still stand up over 3 decades later). The notable difference with those two over this though was that they brought so much more to the table. The pacing was far more efficient, the dialogue for both were memorable (I don't hear anyone quoting lines from Avatar), the scripts were lean and didn't waste screen time and the characters, man the characters! There is no Ellen Ripley, no Sarah Connor, no Kyle Reese, no Vasquez, T-800, Hicks, Hudson, Bishop, Newt etc here. It's not that the characters here a bad, but they're very run of the mill affairs and none of them are particularly memorable, or stand out in any significant way other than how much screen time they are allocated.

This isn't to say that it's a bad film, because it isn't. But once you strip the very impressive effects away, it's just not a great film either. It's just a very average sequel with just one stand out appeal in the visuals. If you want to spend 3 hours marvelling at the effects, you'll have a ball. If you're looking for a bit more depth below the shiny surface though, well it'll be a very long 3 hours for you.

Had to watch this out of curiosity after all the negativity...it's all completely justified.

It's nothing more than a mean spirited, nasty, condescending pile of trash that wants to make you feel guilty for enjoying the Chritsmas that we've loved and looked forward to for centuries. Why? Because a couple of Hollywood elites who, according to their own customs and traditions, don't celebrate it say so.

Peace to all mankind? Yeah, my arse! If you fall within a certain demographic, you've no right to enjoy Christmas...because Seth says so!

Offering a knowledgeable and delicate look at various cultural, none alcoholic beverages from around the world, The Critical Drinker uses his insight to give sensitive reviews and opinions on each and every freshly squeezed sustainably organic juice, herbal brew and plant based detox wellness drink that he can find to critique.

Nah, just kidding. Prepare to have your expectations subverted.

He's a permanently leathered Scotsman, with a no holds barred attitude on what he doesn't like and what doesn't work in today's film industry and a genuinely constructive analysis of how and why he thinks that to be the case. Parts of his channel too are his 'The Drinker Recommends' and 'The Drinker Fixes' series, for which he uses his day job experience and skills as a fiction author to examine what makes the good, good and, if needs be, offer suggestions on how to change some of the absolute dross which is pumped out onto the big screen these days.

A true wordsmith with a hilariously cynical, 'I just can't be bothered' undertone to his style and very self aware play on The Drinker character that he has developed in a very short time on his rapidly growing YouTube channel and all done without a single plea to 'smash the like button, share and subscribe' too...quite the opposite in fact. For all his pleading to just 'go away now', the subscribers continue to come in their droves.

Le Mans. Still to this day, the greatest race on Earth.

Let's get this out of the way, on the face of it the film is bad. The script is next to none existent. McQueen doesn't even speak until 40 minutes in and even then, it's nothing more than "Hello". The character development is even more threadbare and the plot...well, there is no plot. There is a forced, very much tagged on 'relationship' between McQueen and the obligatory eye candy and the few memorable lines of dialogue that there are carry a very melancholy tone to them. On script alone, it's bloody depressing!

The production was a mess long before cameras were rolling and damn nearly bankrupted McQueen and his own Solar Production company. Studio interference and eventual jurisdiction over the film probably saved it from many more years of development hell in the end, but I can guarantee that the finished product was nothing at all like a McQueen blockbuster that the investors could all but have been assured of with the lead's name headlining it. It bombed and bombed badly.

But Le Mans was never a film aimed at the casual viewer. Le Mans is very much McQueen's own ode to the great race, with the story of the race itself being central to everything...and for anyone who knows anything about the 24 Hours of Le Mans, this was essential. Every year the race is run and every year, the race tells its own story. Stories of glory, heartbreak, bitter rivalries, heroics and unbelievable comebacks run rich through the race's history. It's a living, breathing race, always evolving, but never entirely predicable. Safe bets fall by the wayside, minnows rise to the top. Cruel luck and amazing good fortune all play their roles. If the actual race itself were a film, the twists and turns would rival any Hollywood script. There is an old adage that says 'you don't win at Le Mans. Le Mans lets you beat it' A saying that has been proven time and time again throughout the long history of the race.

The film gives a fictional account of the 1971 race, using a great deal of real race footage from the 1970 race. The story of how some of that footage was captured could be a film in itself. A camera was strapped to the front of McQueen's own Porsche 908/02 Spyder and it was entered into the 1970 race as an actual competitor. McQueen was absolutely forbidden to drive in the race itself (much to his chagrin) by the production's insurers, but for years there have been rumours that he switched places with one of the official race drivers of the car. Certainly there is a blink and you'll miss it scene of the 908/02 flying past the pitlane as McQueen's character's car is having a tyre change, with McQueen himself nowhere in shot...or was he? The helmet of the driver of the 908/02 was an open faced, red Bell helmet with a white visor strip...a helmet that McQueen had been pictured wearing when racing his 908/02 when not busy with making movies. Conclusive? No. Suspiciously intriguing though.

There are continuity issues, with the dirt and grime on the cars suddenly being cleaned off well into the race and (you're going to need some proper petrol head inner geek for this one), other cars out of position within the time frame of the film. These can be traced back to the use of real race footage Vs production 'art shot' footage on the closed track. Continuity wise, it's a bloody mess.

But here's the thing. McQueen 'understood' Le Mans. He understood that sound and speed went hand in hand. He knew that it could break heroes just as easily as it made them. He understood that the race was as much of a competition against the other teams as it was a race against time and the circuit itself. He sensibly stayed away from the glitz and glamour that followed him everywhere he went, making his character a secondary player in the story to the race itself. This is Steve McQueen, the biggest name of his era, opting to not only not be the hero, but to not even take centre stage in the film. It confused the hell out of the critics, who wrote him off as washed up and finished after it's release and left the casual viewer wondering what the hell it was all about.

But for the fans of the race, it was perfection. No driver is bigger than the race...McQueen got this. For the fans, the sights and sounds of the cars was captured perfectly. The sound of the Porsche 917K howling, like a tortured banshee, on full throttle upshifts was divine. The brutality of the track was captured in all its make 'em or break 'em glory. The mutual respect of the competitors wasn't turned into an on-track version of Rocky (yeah, I know, it pre-dates Rocky) , but was a very realistic account of how team tactics played out then. McQueen made the race and the cars the stars of the story, with himself just being a bit player in a much larger event. The film didn't end with the obligatory glory that a name with McQueen's star power commanded at all and merely ended, as after 24 hours, the race itself does.

But there are moments in the film that have now become legend in the motor sport world. "Racing is life. Everything before or after is just waiting" is a line that has echoed around race circuits throughout the world ever since. The 2 finger salute in one of the final shots of the film has been copied, blown up or printed and framed countless times. Replica race suits and Gulf liveried 'tribute' cars can be found in pretty much any motor sport memorabilia catalogue these days. The film left its mark back then and to this day, is still one of the finest motor sport films out there.

None motor sport fans, even if a fan of Steve McQueen, will struggle to find anything memorable about this film. But for those who covert the 24 Hours of Le Mans and spend their year 'just waiting', it is essential viewing and a film that has become motor sport folk law. In terms of authenticity and capturing the 'Spirit of Le Mans', McQueen nailed it. Given the size and tone of the event itself, that was no easy feat.

The film was unfairly panned by those who didn't understand what McQueen was trying to do with Le Mans, assuming that it would be like James Garner's 'Grand Prix' and confused to hell when they found something very different. But for those who did 'get it', it is legend. Compared to the other big two in capturing serious racing, Grand Prix still holds up now and Rush was a superb modern attempt, but Le Mans is still the big one.

Two-Lane Blacktop has all the ingredients for a truly appalling film. Bad acting, weak script, sparse action scenes and a throw away plot.

Yet...

This curious little film constantly finds its way into my personal top 5 films over and over again. It's the epitome of B movies, particularly the road movie genre. It borrows heavily from Easy Rider and the romance of an era where free living heroes occupied the minds of young men and women. You get a sense that Two-Lane was something of a swan song for the nomadic road warriors who would live for the road, drifting from race to race as a means to indulge their free spirits, for within a few years with various legislation introductions and rapidly increasing fuel prices, it would soon become an archaic, out dated romantic dream of yesteryear.

The film charts a few days in the lives of two young men (The Driver and The Mechanic) and their beaten up, but much loved '55 Chevy (barely) street legal dragster. Never more than one bad race away from losing everything as they struggle to make ends meet, they enter into a country wide duel with the mysterious 'GTO', a man who is not too far from imploding himself, possibly already deep in the throws of a midlife crisis. Attracted more by money and image than natural skill and pure talent, GTO finds himself goaded into challenging the two younger men in a winner takes all cross country race. So there you have the film then and you know how it's going to end up? The young heroes putting the load mouthed big shot in his place. Well, no. That's the beauty of this film, it never quite plays out to your expectations.

The relationship between the two younger men is intriguing. They play it as more of a professional agreement, finding strength in their individual talents on the road and under the hood. Equally interesting is the relationship they develop with GTO. It's clear that they don't think much to his driving or his flashy, brand new muscle car which he believes makes him king of the road. But you do get a sense that there is an underlying mutual respect from both parties, appreciating what the other is doing and how far they are willing to go to preserve their lifestyle and love of the open road.

It's an uneasy film, always tense and never far from seeing all three of the main characters descend into conflict, particularly when 'The Girl' comes into play, but somehow, they just about manage to hold it together long enough to take us to the end of the film.

Much has been said about how the film ends. Some love it, some hate it. There's no last minute blaze of glory here, just an indication that after everything that had taken place within the film's time frame, ultimately nothing really changes and the hint that these characters will never live their lives any differently to the only way they know how to live life right up until the point where they either burn out or fade away. It's a very brave way to end the film and it's an ending that I personally love.

Two-Lane is a funny little film. There's no glitz, no glamour and no heroics. It's more of a window into a bygone era. It's very much a love it or hate it affair and a fascinating curiosity. Which ever side of the fence you come down on, it's one that you will remember.

There within perhaps lays the films biggest strength. After watching it for the first time, you can't help but feel that it stays with you for days afterwards as you try to make sense of it and explore its quirks in your own mind. If you eventually decide that it's one that you like, I can guarantee that it won't be long before you find yourself back for a second viewing.

A classic road movie that refuses to conform to expectations.