Reviews

This is a strange film. I don't understand how a three hour movie can be engaging, boring and bizarre simultaneously. Colin Farrel kind of just sucks in this film. He's boring. Petulant, whiny, annoying. He overreacts to everything and is just not very engaging as a character.

His "romances" with various other characters don't feel particularly deep or believable. I kind of think Oliver Stone pulled his punches here and should have leaned more into building character and relationships. Hephaestion especially is an afterthought. They needed more time.

Despite the long runtime, not much seems to happen characterwise. You never really learn about any of the side characters, because so much time is spent on Alexander. But by the end, it's kind of supposed to be a big deal that these characters are not satisfied with Alexander. But it's hard to connect with them, because you don't really know them. They claim to care about Alexander deeply which is supposed to be reciprocated by Alexander, but we never actually see this in depth, despite the long runtime. And so the "pay off" if you can call it that, basically the final 45 minutes of the film, feels so hollow. Empty.

The accents are strange, but no big deal. They could easily have been British and been just as inaccurate and felt more acceptable. But it's really the lack of consistency with the accents that I find problematic.

The score is over the top in some scenes and doesn't match the actions going on.

It was a mishmash of ideas when it never needed to be. It could have explored better the idea of John in the burgeoning digital age. Imagine how frightening it must be for a 14,000 year old person to live to the point that he is potentially no longer able to hide his identity, because of digital devices. Add to this the mistake of the conversation he had years earlier, which led to his story leaking out into that digital world.

They approached this film too big and with too many ideas. When it should have just been an extension of the original conversation, finally rekindled a decade later.

There's plenty of meat on that bone. It literally could have all taken place, just like the original, in essentially one location, with a new conversation exploring new concepts. They could have even retread some older ground to reveal new information and how it relates to John's most recent experiences.

Some of the old cast could have returned to find that he hadn't aged, confirming for each of them that he was indeed telling the truth, something none of them were necessarily ready to accept back then. With the knowledge that he was indeed being truthful, there's numerous more questions they'd have.

There was plenty of potential for a new intellectual conversation. But they went a very different direction and it just didn't work. I wonder if they had a better script, and thought smaller and simpler, if they might have made enough money to actually get a series or new sequel film made.

The allure of the original wasn't the acting or the set and certainly wasn't the score. It was just the intellectual conversation and the exploration of an idea with a group of people intelligent enough to have it. This film just didn't bring any of that to the table and it's a real shame.

Every piece of this cobbled-together mishmash of video game-esque character hero shots oozes of amateur sweat and tears. There is no aspect of this film that is commendable or even teetering on the edge of being good, let alone competent. This is more like a year long senior high school theater production. There's barely any movement in scenes, as if they are stuck on a tiny stage. They probably are!

At times, it does not even seem like the characters are filming together, but rather phoning it in from their rundown green screened bedroom. They couldn't even bother to match the lighting of the scenery with the lighting of the characters in them. It creates a horrible effect that takes you out of every single scene because it highlights the fakery of it all.

The acting might be the strongest feature here, but it's still sub-par. Everybody knows this project is DoA. They're here for the paycheck and it shows. Nobody is giving it their all.

The plot ... what plot? I guess you could say it's a sort of-but not really re-tread of season 03, but without the best parts. There's really not any logic to it. Things happen. Why? Often there is no reason. Things just happen and characters react. And then we forget about what happened. And more things happen that make no sense, because why not just keep flinging poo at the wall?

Examples?

There is a character that nearly dies 4 times in this film, and when this character finally does, you don't care at all, because you expect it not to be true, they've desensitized you to the gravity the death ought to bring. Fail.

The action is awful. There is no choreography. It's just free for all. It's like they sat the actors down and told them to do their best at pretend fighting. And that's what they filmed.

There is literally nothing here to enjoy. Nothing to appreciate. It is not worth your money or your time. If you are a fan of the series, it's most advised that you don't watch this, because at best it's a pale imitation of what we got in the show. And it's not like the show is a cinematic masterpiece either.

Apparently, there is a sensible reason for all of this madness. They filmed the majority of this movie without a script. The script wasn't finished until filming had nearly wrapped up. Wow.

So yeah.

Teen Wolf: The Movie is TRASH. Don't watch it.

This show is called Willow, but it would be more accurate to title it something else ____feat. Willow.

Don't get me wrong, he's a huge part of the show, but perhaps not as impactful as we all hoped. In fact, he's massively insecure (which is good character development), but perhaps while good, isn't what fans of the film might have hoped for his aging character. I suppose it would have been preferable and I'd say, expected, that he would be something of an accomplished, expert sorcerer by this point. He isn't. And that's okay, because it leads to fantastic character introspection. But is still disappointing compared to what we all probably hoped he'd be.

Now this of course can be corrected in future seasons if it continues. But as is, in this one season, he's just not that yet.

He takes on two trainees who very quickly surpass his own abilities. And in general, it's this group of characters that the series is primarily about. This isn't to deride Willow's importance here. He is. Absolutely integral in fact. He saves them all several times and is instrumental in saving the world again. But the show is called WILLOW. So I guess you'd expect him to be a little bit more important, especially given his advanced age. Once again, if they intend future seasons, this could easily be the plan and this is merely the setup. But as is, this is the state of the show.

The soundtrack uses modern reworks of classic rock songs. They don't always fit. But they're all enjoyable.

The accents used are all over the place. I do wish there was more consistency, but it's a small detail easily forgotten.

The acting is not always the best. I'd even go as far to say that Warwick Davis is not doing his best here. Some of his delivery sounds as if he's reading off a teleprompter, unaware of what his line is supposed to be. This isn't always the case, but some scenes it's very noticeable and left me ver confused because he's demonstrated himself a good actor in the past. And it's not his dialogue. That isn't the problem here. Some of the dialogue spoken by other characters is strange and weirdly modern, but from Willow himself it seems right. It's just that he isn't doing his best or maybe was unhappy with the script. I really don't know.

The story. It does feel like a journey. I appreciate that. There's many places they visit and most of the sets are great and interesting. But because every episode is a new setting, and every episode is actually representative of huge gaps of time, which is not at all evident to the audience, the effect leaves us feeling like they rushed through the journey (when they didn't). But saying that, there's simultaneously a lot of fluff in the story. They probably could have cut out enough material to reduce the size of this season by an episode or two.

I've said a lot of negative here, but a lot of it is frankly, nitpicking. This is far from a perfect show. But it's enjoyable fantasy. The characters are all enjoyable and actually useful during the journey. The VFX is on form. And the challenges are interesting. The best part of the show are the interpersonal relationships which all work very well. This cast has great chemistry.

If you like fantasy in general and especially are a fan of the original film, there is something to gain here. It isn't doing anything original or unique and isn't the best example of fantasy, but it is worth your time. The show improves significantly in its final few episodes and ends with a promise of really interesting narrative to come.

WATCH Willow.

It's as bad as others are claiming. They aimed a bit too low with its target demographic, looking to entertain 8-12 year olds, despite the fact that the audience mainly interested in this series are currently 25-50 year old adults.

Zeta Jones clearly hates the period of her life filming National Treasure. She has a permanent vacant expression and a monotone, slurring speech. It's worth wondering if she's drunk.

The teen actors mostly do an okay job. But the writing. Ooof. It's written like it's a comic book, with strange random poses and over the top slow-mo. The latest episode featured two Michael Bay signature camera spins. It also contained a scene where an overweight, scraggly homeless looking character creepily lurched toward a young girl, wrapping his arms around her and grunting as he struggles with a girl who maybe weighs 100 pounds. He earnestly tells her "I won't let you find the treasure." before letting her go (at simple request). Then this fat, homeless looking 50 year old dude vaults through a glass window ... because ... just because. Why not have an obese, elderly homeless man vault through a glass window for absolutely no reason?

The dialogue isn't clever. It's mainly just exposition. There's no subtext. The relationships take up half the show and aren't interesting. The actual historical plot is interesting, but not enough to make this watchable.

I love the National Treasure films and think a sequel or series can work. But they need to be made on a reasonable budget, by competent writers and for an audience that actually cares to watch it.

As for the "woke" stuff many reviews keep complaining about, I'm glad to see diversity and progressive values on display. 9/10 for that. But that does not rescue a bad show.

I understand this episode is about the unhealthy beauty industry and the role media plays in creating unrealistic and often unachievable standards. I understand it's a dialogue aimed against focusing on a persons outward traits, and instead valuing what's deep within. It's very clear that part of the message is how all of this affects mental health and creates unnecessary anxiety and stress that nobody should have to deal with in our mundane, routine, and repetitive lives.

I. Get. It.

But that doesn't make it good. It was a chore to sit through. Annoying. Uncomfortable. It's supposed to be, it's part of the message. It aims to unsettle and disgust you and is extremely effective at doing so. This is both a compliment and an insult. Because it works for what it's trying to achieve, it's just not entertaining in the process. While I'd rewatch the 3 previous episodes again, this one is an instant skip. I will never watch it again.

I'm left with regret for not turning it off in the first 5-10 minutes. Because in those first 10 minutes, I'd already figured out what the entire episode was about. So why did I need to sit through a full hour? It just wasn't worth my time.

With that being said, of the 4 episodes I have seen at this point, this will undoubtedly stick with me the most, for better or for worse due to its imagery, casting and effects work. It's technically brilliant. It's extremely memorable, I'd just prefer that it wasn't.

We have a complete narrative, with a good atmosphere. For me, it hits a lot of the horror beats that I want from any story. The character endings are earned. The tale is completed.

Could the villain have been around a bit longer, sure and maybe could we have known something more of the lore, always. But the time is limited. What we do have is a solid story with a good, yet briefly appearing monster. The performances land. The intrigue of what's in the storage area drives the entire episode and leads to a satisfying enough conclusion.

We are left with questions, it's not a perfectly wrapped bow. But I don't see how the rating deserves anything less than a 7/10.

The generation that saw the original film are now in their 30's and 40's. Disney had the opportunity here to make a film that incorporates light hearted humor, but with a more mature theme fitting the audience that would be most interested in watching a sequel. We could have had a more adult, darker film that wasn't another teen drama, but instead a more serious take on the horrible yet quirky Sanderson sisters.

Instead we just get another teen drama and not a particularly good one either. The original wasn't very good in all honesty, but was miles better than this. It had a charm to it that captured us all. This film is the worst of both worlds. Its storytelling is uneven and lacks the charm of the original.

The redemption comes out of nowhere. It's not earned. It just happens because ... plot.

At the end they teased a third film. I honestly hope they make it. And I hope they do what I suggested. They need to make a sequel that fits the maturity of the audience interested in watching. We aren't kids anymore and no amount of nostalgia and callbacks will make us love a bad film.

Give us a version of the Sanderson sisters to fear. Make them feel like a real threat. Have them successfully eat children. Focus on an adult hero. Do not let Hocus Pocus 2 be the final word on these characters. It's insulting. It should have been left alone. Now you need to fix your mistake.

I just looked at the release schedule and realized that at the time of writing this review, todays episode is the final episode of the season.

There is no way they will conclude the season in a satisfying way. Why? The plot is sporadic. There really doesn't seem to be a strong goal beyond (Find X) and all of the characters are mostly still wandering around aimlessly.

We've been waiting the entire season for character storylines to merge, but they've taken their time and not in the most interesting way. Sure, some have started converging, but it's the end of the season. It should have happened sooner.

The back half of the season has been more exciting than the first, but there really isn't much meat to pick on this bone of a show. And unfortunately, when you compare this level of writing with what is currently going on at HBO with House of the Dragon, this entire project feels lackluster.

I don't dislike it or anything, it's just a bit mediocre. And not in The Hobbit sort of way where everything is over the top, but at least fun. Here it's stale. It's just not hitting me. Scenes that should be heartwarming often aren't. Scenes that should be suspenseful invoke yawns instead.

The show itself is pretty. They do nail the Middle Earth look. The camera direction is technically 10/10. It's just the characters. They are either boring or bulletproof and that's a problem.

This suffers from the prequel problem with known characters. We know they are still around later on. So putting them in dangerous situations doesn't work, because we know they live. Amazon should have known this. Those safe characters should not be the forefront of the series as Prime has made them.

At best they should be secondary characters who aid the unknown fate of the primary character.

That being said, for me, the best characters are Elrond and Durin. Elrond is the exception here so far to the prequel problem, because they are at least not putting him in action scenes that we know he will make it out of. They are using him as a dialogue driven character with a political mind. The plot between the dwarves and elves is the best on the show. Elrond's character works wonderfully here. And newcommer Durin is equally as interesting. Numenor comes in at #2. Then #3 Galadriel's journey. Then #4 Arondir and sadly, then come the Harfoots at #5.

The Harfoot storyline is the worst. It just seems inconsequential. We spend too much time with them and see too little actually happen in their community. What occurs in episode 7 should have been done in episode 2 or 3. Everything in between is filler. They lack the charm of Hobbits. And they lack a goal. In Fellowship, the Hobbit scenes has a goal in mind. Bilbo's birthday at first. What do the Harfoot's have? Let's collect some berries! Everything that happens to them is exterior. There isn't much internal motivation or driving force. Things happen to them and it's unfortunate and out of their control. And this has gone on for 7 episodes now. It's already tiring.

So why is Arondir also low? I swear, it has nothing to do with the color of his skin. My problem is just with the character. He's very wooden. I don't think it's the actor's problem, because there is a scene or two where he shows emotion and is quite good. But 95% of the time, he has no emotion and this is problematic considering his primary motivation should be something which invokes strong emotion in him. We are told he cares. But he rarely looks like he cares ... about anything. He kind of just looks angry 24/7. Scene to scene the actor has been told to be bland and put on his best poker face for some reason. It's a strange decision.

Galadriel is okay as a character. It's just everything she's doing is a bit boring because we know she's untouchable. And at one point they have her in a situation where she clearly should have died, but doesn't because plot armor. This is annoying. And she is featured very prominently. This removes any suspense or thrill from the narrative. Outside of that, she's also misused. She's depicted as having a bit too much honor when she should have a great degree of cunning. But we aren't yet seeing that.

The Numenor storyline is interesting, but we hardly see any of it. I fear that they won't invest us in the island of Numenor and its peoples because they know it will end up underwater. I and many others would like to see more of Numenor, especially its internal politics that inevitably lead to its downfall. So far they are breezing over it. Don't snub us Amazon!

Really, this first season is feeling a lot like setup for the rest of the series. This is troubling because it didn't need that much setup. They should have just launched into the story.

Unless you like schlocky gore, there's nothing here worth your time. Predictable plot. Boring dumb characters. Nothing new to this franchise.

Pinhead is less charismatic than past iterations and I don't think it has anything to do with a female in the role, I just thought she was boring. None of the cenobites stood out really. They were afterthoughts when they're supposed to be the main show.

The special effects look digital and rough. I guess the flesh suits are kind of interesting, but they don't save the weak film. I would never watch this again. Just move along and watch something else that values your time.

Full disclosure, at the time of writing this review, I am 4 episodes in.

The only watchable part of this series, in my opinion, is the beginning of the outbreak bits, with the teens. These are focused, at least contain a narrative, and feature the best acting the show has to offer.

The future bits of this show in what ought to be the most exciting part, a post-apocalypse, are absolute trash. Barely a narrative to speak of. Main actress horribly miscast (her younger actress does better), and the strange and random side characters that she runs into for 4 episodes are also poorly acted and don't look like they belong.

The tonal shift between the past and future is the most unsettling in this series. The past is portrayed semi-seriously. It works like a typical teen drama you'd expect from any other show. It's a little lighthearted, it's a little heavy. There's fun and drinking and school, bullying and fighting ... But then the future scenes happen and we move from a semi-serious drama to a near slapstick, terribly schlocky imitation of Evil Dead or something out of Grindhouse. Only it's a massively incompetent version of either that does not end up entertaining in the slightest.

I do not care about the characters at all in the future version. The action is cheap. The drama is non-existent. And there's barely a goal or motivation for the main character. I am bored to tears. It's one CGI fight fest after the other. And it's obvious CGI. I am not one to complain about CGI that is at least competently done, even if obviously fake. But this is BAD and distracting and easy to pick on when there is literally nothing positive to speak of going on in any of these scenes. No good acting. No good dialogue. Bad choreography. Bad editing. Boring plot sequences. Lots of guns. Lots of monsters, but nothing gripping to speak of. Nothing that catches my attention and encourages me to keep watching.

Now, I said I liked the teen side of the story better. And I do. But it's not without significant flaws either. The teens are absolutely idiotic, but not in a realistic way. They make decisions that might be reasonable to a toddler, but not somebody in high school. Those character decisions are clearly forced, because the writers couldn't be more imaginative with how to get them into certain situations. And so they rely on contrivances to push the characters and narrative along.

Lance Reddick does a fine job as always, but frankly, this project is beneath him and his character is written poorly too. He's playing Wesker. Yes, that Wesker, which honestly is fine, but it's not the Wesker we know. Again, even as a fan of Resident Evil, I am no purist. But this character kind of sucks.

Once again, for sake of plot, he's rendered an oblivious father who, if interpreted literally, doesn't care about his children at all, because 95% of the time, he has no idea what is happening in their lives, even after a big incident occurs, which he is aware of, that ought to warrant godlike supervision over them afterwards, but instead--no, he just willy nilly, lets them do whatever. Gee, I wonder what happens next ...

Now maybe it will turn out there's a reason for his lack of caring. I mean, it is Wesker we're talking about. Maybe the big twist is that this boring, science dad version of Wesker isn't actually a boring science dad, but rather the Machiavellian, power hungry, insane Wesker we all know and love to hate. Woah, what a surprise that would be! NOT.

There is no subtlety to this series. No subtext. Everything is on the nose. Everything is delivered in the most obvious and predictable way.

I honestly didn't care if this project matched game lore or the films or if it was just its own thing inspired by either or both. I just wanted it to be good for whatever it was. This did not deliver in the slightest. Game fans won't like this. Movie fans won't like this. Maybe 12 year olds unfamiliar with either will. But even then, I think they will spot the bad quality here. So who is this for? I have the answer. This is for the trash bin.

Skip it. It's not worth your time.

A lot of the complaints here are made pre-maturely, they don't understand what the series is going for. Questions like, "Why is Obi-Wan so weak?" will not be asked by the end, but you're going to have to wait until then.

Obviously, the explanation is that he's abandoned the force for 10 years. Like any muscle abandoned to time, you have to find that memory again and you have to put work into it to get back into shape.

Is there a problem with stake? Sure. But that's an inherent problem for prequels in general. Focus could have been placed on a brand new character as opposed to existing ones in an effort to ramp up tension and throw in surprise and shock, and it's a good criticism, but not one that deserves a low rating.

A good, well-rounded story can still be told here, and will be significant to entire new generations of viewers who aren't familiar with the older films and will ultimately watch the franchise in chronological order. One should not demote the rating significantly simply because you're familiar with how the characters in question will turn out. That's unreasonable if the story is still entertaining.

I personally have no issues with Moses Ingram, she's doing a fine job as Reva. I have to wonder if people's reasons for disliking her performance aren't rooted in a more ... uncivilized ... line of thought.

My favorite character is the cis straight white dude. Right off the bat, I feel this is a problem when I am watching a show revolving around primarily LGBTQ issues.

I kind of dislike Victor. He's arrogant, whiny, impulsive and sort of treats everybody around him like garbage. He's very entitled and kind of uses Simon from Love, Simon like his little personal puppet therapist.

There is also a weird situation in season 1 where a bunch of adults take Victor, a teen minor to a gay bar (illegally) where he's drinking, surrounded by sexuality and they are even allowing him to be hit on by grown adults. It's weird and all of them act as if it's normal. This is not the message LGBTQ people want to send to the world. LGBTQ people do not take minors to bars!

Okay, sorry for that aside, but it was creepy. Back to Victor.

Victor really has a problem with taking responsibility for his actions. He's just kind of unlikable. Maybe the point of the show is to ultimately see him grow out of that. I'll stick around for future seasons. But as of now, it's frustrating and I feel like other similar genre shows do a better job at weaving interesting story lines with likeable characters.

I prefer Young Royals and Heartstopper to this one.

The ending doesn't feel like an ending. Just a regression of most of the characters. The final scene is nonsense in every conceivable way, from the P. I trying to use the ashes as evidence, to him thinking that showing up at the Byrd's residence with a smoking gun isn't somehow going to get him killed. Ridiculous.

This was not a well thought out ending. I am not sure what happened here, but it's like they just gave up and thought "Eh, ending it here is fine."

You thought the Dexter New Blood finale was bad? Welcome to Ozark.