Reviews

I completely understand the hype, we don't get too many amazing choreographed fights with really clear camera work in movies anymore these days. Donnie Yen and Rina Sawayama's fights were just wow. And some of the shots, although ridiculous, did look beautiful (I'm talking about the club scene where people were still dancing, while the dude next them got axed in the face or Wick doing doughnuts around a bunch of cars with endless bullets), looks great and cool and aesthetically pleasing but after a while, it does make you roll your eyes.

It's becoming too outrageous that it's laughable now, getting closer to the fast and furious franchise, which is a shame. When it's so silly, you become less invested in the characters it makes the long ass fight scenes just plain boring. Where it lost points for me is; 1 for the plot, 1 for the dialogue , 1 for Keanu's acting and 1 for the sheer silliness of it all. It really took me out of the moment which made me feel every minute of the 3 hrs run time.

Animal Kingdom is a riveting insight into a 1980's Australian crime family. The film trails a teenage boy named Joshua 'J' Cody (Frencheville). Due to unfortunate family circumstances J moves in with his grandmother and mentally unhinged uncles.

New comer James Frencheville portrays the slow & vulnerabe teenager, flawlessly. His pensive dopey expressions are appropriate enough to gain sympathy without rendering him useless. Jacki Weaver's performance as the grandmother is also absolutely amazing. Her sweet, doting, polite characteristics can also be seen as eerily threatening as the plot progresses.

The film's intensity does not waver from start to finish and is definitely not for light hearted entertainment. Animal Kingdom is a perfect depiction of the different survival instincts & cunning decisions brought out in each person for their own survival.

The one scene I can't seem to shake, is when J is on the run from his uncle and attempts to get his girlfriend's family out of their house. To avoid alarming them for their own safety, he simply asks for a lift to the shops. As the family bustles around to leave, the urgency in J's eyes enclosed by his calm demeanour was insanely nerve racking. I was so intensely enveloped in the scene I began chewing on my hair without even realising it. Not many films have ever caused me to chew on anything other than popcorn. Two thumbs up!

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The charm of the original 'Sex and the City' series is that women can relate to each of the awkward, ditsy, clumsy, sex crazed working gal. SATC2 bombed! It took all the charm away and presented a bunch of over the hill photoshopped perfect New Yorkers on a glamorous all expense holiday? I don't want to see that! It was detached from reality and completely over the top. The girls are all well groomed in their perfect little lives with their perfect apartments, loving husbands and massive wardrobe. Yet still find pointless sh*t to complain about, now you're just being a difficult rich b*tch. And then there's Samantha (Cattrall) who's now an overly successful 52 year old child. It makes me cringe.

The first scene started on the wrong foot, with cheap gimmicks seen at an exaggerated gay wedding with an ice palace, swans, choir singers and Liza Minnelli. Who looked like she was about to drop dead after her 'single ladies' performance *cringe again*. Followed by eye-rolling, gag worthy and head shaking scenes one after the other. No interesting controversial topics were brought up. No clever cute humour. All in all, a lame over the top exaggeration about nothing.

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To bring out yet another a film based on a video game (and with the quality of past video game films like Tomb Raider, Doom, etc) immediately heightened my critical scepticism. But as soon as the first scene leapt on screen, I was pleasantly entertained from start to end. Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney already accomplished a similar feat when they brought Pirates of the Caribbean to the big screen, a movie based on a theme park ride and reigniting the spark in a overly common dwindling genre.

There was really nothing I could criticise too harshly about the film. Some of the scenic choices seen in Prince of Persia were nothing short of breathtaking. The storyline and character development were just enough of an explanation to move the plot along without taking away from the action. No useless characters or WTF dialogue. The theme explores the idea of strong family values, which is a unique take on Hollywood's usual action packed box office films. It took all the best parts of the original game bringing back the childhood nostalgia but finely tuned the good old Prince of Persia experience. The protagonist prince Dastan (Gyllenhaal) was introduced to the audience as lovable character, immediately intriguing us to follow this underdog's story. Gyllenhaal who really bulked up for the roll showed off his impressive athleticism and fancy footwork which gave the action scenes a distinct look and feel; and frankly less boring to watch.

Of course there were annoying little flaws here and there throughout the film that could have been addressed better. Like the occasional awkward romantic moments between Dastan & Princess Tamina (Atertan) or the underuse of the Dagger in critical moments. And worse of all the typical Disney airy fairy happy ending which is as bad as 'I woke up and it was all a dream' (an amazing dream at that). But overall entertaining and amusing for what it was, great cinematography, likable characters portrayed by decent actors and an original plot and theme delivered through substantial script and storytelling.

There was no distinctly stupid or funny scene that I can recall, but I did love the 360degree rotation of Dastan standing on the roof's edge during battle. Which reminded me a lot of the Assassin's Creed video game and for an instant I thought he'd jump off and land in a shallow hay barrel (often used in the game). But instead he tied a rope to his ankle and managed to jump into the level below in one swift impossible manoeuvre, that gave me a little chuckle.

Looking forward to the next Jerry Bruckheimer & Disney collaboration - The Sorcerer's Apprentice.

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Robin Hood; The untold story of the man behind the legend... A friend of mine came up with a much better tagline. Robin Hood: Gladiator with bows and arrows. The same prologue, director and actor were used but nowhere near the same quality. The piecemeal scenes of Robin Hood that tied the storyline together were confusing and disappointing. A lot of the dialogue that contributed to the overall plot line were unnecessary making the pace of the film appear choppy and condensed. So many ideas were brought into the story such as Robin's paternal origins and the significance of certain characters were never developed or explained. The angle the director took to move the plot along were to make all the characters seemed partial and easily swayed, a king's crucial decision for the future of this country made on a whim based on his mistress' word. There was no debate or friction intensity but a quick and easy dialogue delivery, like a bowl of uncooked instant noodles.

In addition to the long winding war scenes, a large portion of the film danced around the romance between Marion (Blanchett) and Robin (Crowe), which was utterly excruciating to watch. The development of their growing love for each other was attempted through short awkward dialogue banter, only worsen by the lack of chemistry between the two actors. The fact that their mutual feelings were never addressed throughout the film made the declaration of love scene; come as a sudden shock. They were excellent apart but skin-crawling in the scenes they filmed together.

Blanchett convincingly portrayed Marion as a strong, independent, hard headed woman throughout the film, however the useless addition of her running into the final battle with sword in hand & full body armour leading her small legion of the lost boys was completely unnecessary! Ridley Scott, you've been pounding it in our faces that Marion is a heroine from the start. We get it! She's tough! There was no need for her to join the battle and fail miserably. It completely undid her tough act and made the crucial farewell scene between Robin & herself obsolete. Although I have to give two thumbs up for the director of photography who made many of the sceneries appear absolutely breathtaking. The film overall, didn't bring anything new to the table of the already over-done Robin Hood legend.

My favourite scene from this 2010 rendition of Robin Hood was when Marion and Robin decide to share some intimate and dramatic lip-locking action... amidst a raging battle! Marion who's fallen off her horse with heavy armour & is drowning/choking on the shore & Robin who's bleeding from the head comes to her rescue with blood dripping onto his lover's face; I ask this question. DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO BE MAKING-OUT?!? I don't know if this "romantic" scene trumps Elizabeth and Will's impromptu wedding ceremony/battle seen in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. *gag*

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Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster 'Transformers' join forces with Spyglass Entertainment for another extraordinary action-adventure 'G.I Joe' – that's what's being marketed globally for this new flick. But don't get your hopes up because if you're expecting an actual plot and a clever/humorous dialogue banter between well developed characters. You'd have more luck watching half way through a Disney Pixar film.

The film was all action… and that's it. Script, plot, the art of acting & characterisation was all completely f**ked! Not that the screenwriters and director Stephen Sommers thought any of these film techniques would help make the movie a little more bearable. They seem determined to mainly deliver one high-octane, heavily CGI-laden ultimately deadening effect.

The film revolves around the idea of "the Joes" (not just the one all-American-hero G.I Joe) - now a massive underground secret service division with the best ops from all around the world cumulated into one unit…. Right… this is a seriously flawed foundation for the film to be base on since all I was asking throughout the film was, where's the funding coming from? Didn't anyone notice all their best soldiers disappearing? Why the hell are all these solders co-operatively turning their back on their own countries to work for America? .... Weren't any of these questions raised at all??? The government must all be f**ken stupid in the near future. I mean… I'm all for good bullshit light entertaining actions films… but there's only so much I can handle. And throwing in a whole heap of 'the Mummy' cast (Brendan Fraser, Arnold Vosloo & Kevin J. O'Connor) isn't going to help the film whatsoever except maybe jack the budget up to make it seem like a bigger blockbuster film.

But hey! That's just my opinion.

Don't take my word for it; catch it in cinemas if you want to experience the mind numbing – eye rolling – ear and brain damaging film while it's still available, because duds always get booted off the silver screens sooner than expected. My favourite line "You will now call me… COMMANDER! Muahhahaha!" – Hilarious... you'll know what I mean when you see it..

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My Blueberry Nights is a delightful film about heart break, healing and finding your way to someone who cares. I know it's a cliché topic and tirelessly overdone, however it's all about the way a story is told that makes it perpetually memorable. Kar Wai Wong managed to concoct a blend of intricate dialogue, progressive storytelling and simple yet effective camera techniques to express an artistic approach to life and what we're all searching for, love.

The film is set in motion when Lizzie (Jones) suspects her long term partner is having an affair and comes to the cafe owned by Jeremy (Law) to dish more information of who he spent Saturday night with. Her heart break and loneliness led to long conversations through the night with Jeremy over blueberry pies and the histories of the bunches of keys left behind by random customers. Although Jeremy's companion is greatly appreciated and most girls would've swooned over the idea of spending endless nights in deep conversation with a handsome, gentle and thoughtful young lad, Lizzie's fears of confrontation drove her away and thus began her journey of self discovery, learning and recovery.

Upon her soul-searching journey, Lizzie meets a number of offbeat characters that she learns and grows from, all the while sending postcards to the kind hospitable cafe owner who takes the journey with her in spirit. The parallels drawn from life and a poker game, encountered by Portman's character Leslie, were a profound take on how Lizzie sees the world and what she chooses to take from that life lesson. Soul seraching journeys always fascinate me because i've always dreamt of one day, going on a trip that would change my life. We've all travelled and discovered more about ourselves each time bringing a tingling sensation of change in the early stages upon our return, but everythings tends to settle back into routine... until our next trip.

My Blueberry Nights was an insightful view into all walks of life and the fears and doubts everyone must face to move to a better place within themselves. My absolute favourite scene was when Jeremy shows Lizzie the different pastries he makes and how there's always an entire blueberry pie by the end of the night ensuring her that 'there's nothing wrong with the pie, people simply don't want it'. That line really got to me because the immediate thought that sprung to my mind was 'I'M A LEMON MERINGUE CHEESECAKE!' there's absolutely nothing wrong with me... i just haven't found my eater yet...

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I haven't had the chance to see the original 1981 Clash of the Titans but I believe even with the lack of technological special effects, it couldn't have been as bad as the cr*p that was churned out this year. The re-make had such promise with the all-star cast ensemble, the foundations of the original film and the intriguing Greek mythology that can fuel the plot. But instead of doing a little research and actually closely following the myths that were well thought out for hundreds of years. Producer/writers/directors decide to cheapen the project by turning it into another Hollywood action pack block-buster with no plot and wooden actors... WHHYYY?????

The first scene already got me rolling my eyes when a baby was found alive and well floating in a coffin that just rose from deep under the sea. The kid was taken in by a sweet fisherman's family who brought him up to become the brooding, handsome hunk of muscle Perseus played by Sam Worthington. I'm always supporting rising Australian actors in Hollywood with full force. But Worthington's losing me as a fan with his wooden facial expressions, monotones dialog (with a very heavy Aussie accent that made me cringe) and awkward demeanor. Perseus then gets swept into the battle between the gods and the people when his family became casualties of war. He stumbles into the royal court where his demigod status is discovered which forces him into the journey to save the princess, destroy the gods to avenge his family. Typical plot that could've been substantial if done well, unfortunately in this Clash of the Titans (COTT) it wasn't. COTT lacked story-telling, character development and explanations in focal scenes that left the audience hanging with no satisfaction.

The lonesome fisherman (who's never picked up a battle sword in his life), single handedly fought off a hoard of soldiers with years of training. WTF!?!? I know you're a demigod and all but that's way too much BS one can handle, either that or the soldiers were all shite. In which case don't wage war with the gods if you don't have the goods!! The film was then followed by a series of eye-rolling, scoffing and choke worthy bullshite that I just was not able to accept. The heroes journey seemed irrelevant after the long sequence of heavily laden CGI fight action scenes & the laughable dialog didn't help bring the audience back onto the journey's path at all. And was it me or did Zeus have a serious case of multiple personality disorder? One minute he appears to his son Perseus giving advice and offers help. The next he's telling Hades to carry out the human slaughter with no mercy!?!? If I were Hera I would've advised my husband – the god of gods to seek psychological help. The one thing I thought didn't make my head shake in disbelief was Hades (Ralph Fiennes) acting, his eerily cold appearance made me shiver at times and I have to say was a breath of fresh air in a film that had nothing else going for it.

One last thing I want to vent about. I'm sick of every movie becoming 3D just because it can. And I was stupid enough to follow the hype and go see COTT with those horrible glasses that fell off my nose every 3 seconds. It made the scenes blurry, darker and I didn't see one bit of impressive eye popping 3D activity at all?!?! That was a big fat waste of money and headache inducing experience.

I'll end it with my all time favorite scene/line that made me laugh out loud inappropriately. This time it was the all mighty Zeus who's guilty. In one of the final crucial scenes, he tells all the gods at the conference to leave him and Hades alone in the room. He slowly walks up the stairs and dramatically turns! and instead of having a private meaningful conversation that required the other gods to leave he utters 'Release the Kraken!' (oh no! it's not a giant octopus it's elephant man's f**ked up twin!) - WTF WTF WTF!?!?!

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