Reviews

I know that saying "Lifeforce is good because it's got BIG OL' JUGS" isn't the most serious approach to film review, but i think Lifeforce is unique because it's thoroughly a spectacle. Hear me out.

The film is divided into 4 major acts;

Act 1 is the approach to the alien starship. It has a solid Hard Sci-Fi tone and concludes with the shock of finding the bodies in stasis.

Act 2 has a mystery-horror vibe, the body is brought into the lab and they try to find what it is, and then a Monster(tm) is revealed.

Act 3 is the Monster(tm) running rampage in the city, classic 1960s Monster(tm) film with army guys shooting their completely useless weapons at the Monster(tm) and being totally ineffective.

Act 4 .. we don't speak of Act 4. The church and all that horrible special effects stuff that looks more like a Zombie movie than anything else.

The first 3 acts are all very, very well made. The tone is correct, the pacing is fine, the acting and directing is ok, and the film tropes are all nice and lined up ready to pop out as you'd expect them.

And through this spectacle, that could be the spaceship sections, the shooting sections, the mood lighting of the mystery sections, everything is very visually pleasing.

Now, if you've ever watched films of these genre (Scif / Mystery Horror / Monster) of the 60s and 70s, you would know that the Monster plays a very important part; you show the audience the details of the monster you made, (generally a big ugly rubber suit) and they all go OOoooh! Look at the monster !!

And in Lifeforce instead they replaced the Monster with Mathilda May's big lifeforcebags. With her watermelons. Her humongous jars of baby milk.

Eh, it's one way to make a film. It's not the first time that someone thought of gluing your eyes to the screen with a beautiful woman, and i can't blame them, because it sells.

All in all we need to see past May's enormous gazongas, and appreciate the fact that she's the equivalent of a rubber-suit special effect: something to be appreciated for how visually striking it is.

Now .. if they could only re-shoot that horrible ending ...

My vote: a solid 7.5/10 in Director's Cut edition, because nobody can watch Lifeforce and say it didn't have an impact on them.

Look, if you came to find another Black Dynamite, stay away for the love of god. BD is as good as this film is bad.

.. same cast & crew as BD, MJ White is still fantastic and charismatic, but he cannot alone carry this film.

Some outlaw guy in the west has a grudge against a bottom-of-the-barrel villain who killed his daddy. The Hero masquerades as a preacher to avoid the law, while pursuing said villain, then finds him and kills him.

.. i mean, you could write a similar bad review of BD that doesn't explain at all the qualities of that film, but the truth is that BD has excellence coming out of every pore, from the quirky characters, the surreal scenes, the excellent editing and direction, the jokes, the soundtrack, everything is good.

And instead OJB has nothing of this; even the character of Johnny Black isn't that great compared to Black Dynamite, but the jokes are bad, the direction is bad, the editing is bad, the sets & photography are bad, the film completely misses that surreal atmosphere, the tight pacing, all the good qualities that make BD and excellent film, and that make this film a waste of time.

My vote: 4.8/10 - really, really bad.

Well, it took me 30 years but finally i watched this film. And it's a little gem, provided that you accept that this is no more than your typical christmas film, with a kid as protagonist. You won't find adult themes here, but only feelgood sentiments such as "parents should love their children for what they are, not for what they want them to be", as expoused by Easter Bunny and Guardian Angel Bruce Willis.

As a rule, i think any film that Siskel and Ebert think it's THE WORST OF THE YEAR generally means it's pretty good, because those two idiots couldn't film review their way out of a parking lot.

11yo all-around great kid North is unhappy with his parents. With the help of other-11yo-kid he hires a sleazeball lawyer, and manages to divorce his parents. In a absurdist scene, he is given "just 1 summer" to find himself new parents, or be confined to an orphanage.

North then proceeds to tour the world, and meets great parents, who have everything for him except PARENT'S LOVE which is what he already had all along with his normal family.

... and you think THIS is a bad script? Jesus.

It's a christmas film. It's exactly like every christmas film ever made, it's supposed to just have these feelgood scenes, and if anything, the film does well by incorporating Die Hard macho Bruce Willis as the figure of the Guardian Angel (in multiple roles), and casting a kid as a power-hungry megalomaniac.

Good film. Would recommend.

7/10 - the soundtrack could use a little trimming.

WN2TAK is, as you may know, a film particularly popular with cinema reviewers. This because the film features a number of visual storytelling techniques which, in *the art* are considered to be a sign of great workmanship.

And the story sucks.

The titular Kevin is a child that grows up showing more and more signs of being a psychopath.

And that's it. That's the whole story.

Now, while the aforementioned techniques may be, say, useful if placed at the service of a interesting story, that would be a completely different situation than just Tilda Swinton "showing a vast degree of emotion", because the way the filmography and the acting is used in WN2TAK is purely self-serving. There is no great story to tell, the script is not even remotely entertaining, it's literally just a kid looking evil and a mother looking scared.

This kind of garbage needs to stay in Cannes. I WANT A SCRIPT. I want a story that has some creativity to it, something that i would be intrigued to hear more from a simple basic description, and not just "kid growing up, family thinks he's a psycho, they were right".

I would vehemently dissuade people from watching WN2TAK; because you either hate it - which you probably will, if you have some sense in you - or you will love it, which means you too are a pretentious film critic that has completely lost touch with reality.

5/10 - idk, watch The Green Knight maybe, at least it's got color.

Just to be clear, this wasn't good. But it wasn't as horrible as the rating may make it seem - 3.5/10 at time of writing.

I will also have to spoiler this review, because there's no way to explain what's wrong with Chariot otherwise, but also this may help you understand what the film is about. You see ..

i watched this whole film and even by the end, could not tell what had happened. Now, that's something you *do not* want in your films.

This film is vaguely divided into 3 narrative segments.

In segment 1, we learn that the Protagonist has been having a recurring dream and wants to get rid of it. To do this and WIN(tm), he has come to the city to see a Doctor.

In this section we are explained that the Doctor represents the reliable narration, but The Treatment will only work if the Protagonist is careful about not falling prey to unreliable narration - e.g. The dream, and anything else that is part of his mental illness.

Think of "A Beautiful Mind".

The Protagonist moves to a hotel and he immediately meets reverse-Love-Interest Maria, and they immediately hook up(this is a acceptable scriptwriting technique).

In segment 2, we are shown the Protagonist witnessing some unreliable narration, e.g a man casually floating in midair. We have been told that this is Bad(tm) because it can cause The Treatment to fail.

But at the same time, Maria show to the Protagonist that these things are absolutely mundane and ok, and also we are again shown the Doctor under a different light, so much so that we question if now the Doctor represents the unreliable narration, and Maria represents WIN.

In the third segment the Protagonist chooses Maria instead of the Doctor, and as soon as he does he loses her.

He tries to find her again, but he is almost immediately captured by "The Government" or whatever other sinister entity is the hidden antagonist of this story, and the Protagonist is handed over to the Doctor, now looking completely deranged and clearly a representation of BAD.

And then the film waves the magic wand and everything ends.

The doctor, now fully coherent, reliable and espousing dialogue in full, explains to the Protagonist that, no, there is no Maria. And the Doctor means him no harm.

The protagonist was in fact dead, and in the process of being reincarnated, but he did love a Maria in a previous life, and the dream represented him not being able to let go. Now they fixed him, and he can be reincarnated and have a new full life. Happy Ending.

See, when i write it in this way, the script actually makes sense. And the production in general is very decent, with Malkovich being excellent once again at his job, and his upstanding and rigorous Doctor slowly morphing into a deranged hallucination, but the film doesn't try at all to explain any of this to us, the audience. It doesn't try to explain what the stakes are, what the protagonist wants, I mean, i'm not exactly dumb, and i had to come read other people's reviews to understand the film.

Also, while Malkovich is good, the other actors don't have enough presence to wanton repeat viewings.

My vote:5/10 - too clever for its own good.

First off, i didnt casually stumble into a cinema showing this film; i know who Gleeson is and would not have missed it for the world.

(to be honest, i had been left wanting for more since The Tragedy of MacBeth)

Banshees Of Inisherin is, in media res, the story of of one person out of a couple of friends (Gleeson) who decides he isn't friends with the other no more.

Being this a isolated Irish island in the 1920s, the other (Farrell) wants to know why.

Now, despite what IMDb may think, this film is *not* a comedy. This very early section may seem vaguely farcical at the very first, making you think it's gonna go down as one of those light comedies "how will the good simple man win back this friendship? With the Power Of His Heart !" but, nah, nowhere near.

No, we are not a long walk away from Gleeson's character starting to mutilate himself. This film got GORE, and not even the splatter kind that you can laugh at.

As the .. ugh .. "script" progresses, Gleeson and Farrell fight over Gleeson's unwillingness to concede, and Farrell incapability to understand. But, the film doesn't have a moral, doesnt have a point to make about, idk, pick any topic already done a million times, the inevitability of death, the desire to leave a mark on the world, the importance of friendship, whatever.

And neither character has the means to help this point appear. Because Farrell isn't a man with a heart of gold, he's just a moron. And Gleeson isn't a poet, he's delusional. They are both bad, but not bad and damned, just bad and mediocre.

Unfortunately there is no acting, no photography that can hold up when you script is this weak.

You can't just throw a cloak on an old lady and have her cosplay as Death from Seventh Seal, and call it art.

About halfway through, this film reminded me of another film i didn't like, but, i have to now consider that the other film Hrutar (2015) was better. Two brothers, no longer on speaking terms, are forced to swallow their pride and rejoin as a family due to the hardships of life.

Yeeah, Banshees doesn't even have that. It's got nothing.

My vote: for being competently filmed and with, you know, spectacular acting, 5.5/10 - the script is terrible.

The script is HDYKC is a combination of character that interact with each other during a party.

That's it.

There is a very very barebones story of the titular Chris himself not being at the party, and further in the film there is a pathetic attempt to introduce a bit of mystery. Pathetic because the initial concept of the film is to have normal, down to earth characters with realistic interactions, and the "mystery" isn't a mystery for, you know, human beings.

Oh heck, yes, let me spoil it for you. The BIG mystery is that Chris "is known as Frankie to some people".

Yep. Yes that's the mystery.

Well, this film isn't too far off from what The Man From Earth is, but TMFH has a hook, which this film doesn't. It has the one element which sets it aside (an unusual protagonist) from what otherwise would be just a party, and HDYKC is just that, it's just a party. Yeah ok there may be a bit of drama, but, have you ever been to a party? Drugs and implications of gay sex don't really make enough plot nowadays, maybe during the Black&White era, but i expect more out of a modern film.

Not recommended.

Read ANY review that rates this film above 6/10 and they will all have something in common: you, the audience, "did not get it".

Eyes Wide Shut is among the purest form of non-film that you can find. At over 2 1/2 hours of runtime, it's the story of 1 single character, Dr Bill Harford.

Bill has a wife who is a non-character, she has 1 horribly written dialogue scene at the start of the film (scene 2, bedroom) and then disappears. Being extra generous, she represents Bill's marriage and normal life.

Bill is a serial cheater, who easily falls prey to temptation, but despite this he happily returns to his married life without guilt.

On two posh nights out, he is chasing the thrill of anonymous sex, and manages to sneak his way into a high-class orgy.

There is some suspense at first regarding this orgy, but later on the film absolutely makes it 100% clear pinky-swear that this is nothing more than an orgy and at best a bunch of people could pay a thug to beat you up, but that's about it.

AND THATS IT.

Whatever other meaning you attach to this film, is a pretentious flight of your imagination, because there are no hidden themes, no secret message, no mystery to discover.

Sure, yeah ok the cinematography is good. The lighting, the sets, the acting, the soundtrack, all is good, but the script is just nothing. There is no story here, no arcs, no development. The only discernible theme i could spot - and, this is completely out of my imagination, just as everyone else's "deep, profound messages" is the demystification of female nakedness, as every scene - of many - in the film with nudeness, none is erotic, while for example, there are two erotically-charged scenes in both of which the woman is dressed (Sally, and Milich's daughter).

Frankly, i wouldn't bother with 2 hours for such a measly message.

Historically relevant as being Kubric's last film, and visually pleasing , if *extremely* unsatisfying, i vote: 6/10.

Long story short, it's not BAD, but it hasn't got enough good to be worth your time.

Prey is the same story, more or less, of the first Predator film. There is 1 really focused human who fights 1 predator and they come to blows and in the end the human wins because of Determination(tm).

This version of the story uses a chubby 20yo girl from a privileged background that couldn't possibly pass for anyone capable of ANY feat of athelticism, much less go hand to hand with a Predator, but, i have to make it clear, this isn't one of those instances where the woke madness has destroyed a film.

The character concept of the girl who wants to be a hunter just like the boys, is actually both appealing and appropriate for this film. What later lets it down, is the weak casting, and the fact that the film doesn't really have any good idea how to have the underdog defeat the brute, instead they just have a prolonged scuffle.

The setting of the 1700 in Indian american is cool, but doesn't mix with the acting and dialogue which is too modern to create any suspension of disbelief.

Idk .. i didn't like it. I honestly preferred the much schlockier Alien Vs Predator films, while they are fanservice trash, at least they are entertaining.

My vote: just barely 6/10 for the right audience.

Well, let's see how i do for a review.

I sat down, expecting to hate it, and watched Multiverse Of Madness.

Because, i hated the cameo of Dr Strange is the latest Spider Man, and i figured i was gonna get more of the same.

And, i didn't really like the first Dr Strange either.

I also hated the very first scene, so i was getting ready to shut it down, or idk, zoom through it.

Instead, i got one of the best films of the year, and probably the best Marvel movie i've ever seen.

We start in-media-res with Dr Strange and a unnamed girl trying to escape a CGI monster. They fail and and thrown into a kind of a portal, it's very confusing.

The film starts as they come through the portal, and Dr Strange appears, looking over the body of the very Dr Strange that just a few seconds ago was murdered by the CGI monster.

Yep, it appears *girl* has the power to hop between multiverses, and she just randomly runs into the Dr Strange from our universe.

The plot is that the bad guy wants to kill this girl, to steal her power; this is Bad(tm) because then they would rule all the multiverses, and we dont want that.

The bad guy has a initial fight with Dr Strange, girl, and the entire group of useless mages who court around Dr Strange, whoppin' they' ass.

Dr Strange & girl are sent into another universe and they need to do the thing that can give them a fighting chance.

They do the thing and then they fight the bad guy. Cue the finale.

So, avoiding any spoilers, 1. Benedict Cumberbatch was not as horribad as he normally is. He had even some depth of acting, not much, but tons by his usual standards.

2. the Bad Guy is the real winner, excellent acting all around.

3. a villain with a relatable motivation.

4. a plot that MAKES SENSE.

5. the sidekick was not horrible.

6. the secondary characters are kept in their place.

7. the fight scenes are realistic, sorta, or at least, they maintain the rules set by their universe.

8. proper pacing, good exposition, and a bit of mystery

all these are important of their own, but they really come together with the fact that, this film is absolutely spectacular from a visual point of view. There is both an incredible artistry in the onscreen visuals, and also the direction and camerawork are fresh, interesting.

Director is none other than Sam Raimi.

MoM is an absolute delight, and by far the best marvel movie i have ever seen. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone, even to "serious" people.

My vote: a solid 8/10.