Reviews

Shark Exorcist 2 is much less sleazy than the original Shark Exorcist, but is also somehow much more incompetently made. At times it felt like a Dustin Ferguson movie, because there so much obvious filler. This is really weird coming from Donald Farmer, who while not a master filmmaker, has nearly 40 years of experience. His movies aren't always "good" but they're at least competently made. Also, the CGI shark is somehow worse than the first movie. I'm going to give this movie a 3/10, mostly due to Jessa Flux chewing up the scenery in every scene she's in. Jessa has really become an indie horror juggernaut over the last few years. If you're a fan of hers, this is a much watch. If not, mostly just watch if you're into bad shark movies, which I am.

While I've seen worse movies, as this was too short to leave me bored, it's among the most technically incompetent movies I've ever seen. And I've seen a LOT of incompetently made movies.

Let's start with the poster, which misspells "Original" TWICE, in addition to having text that's poorly formatted.

Now for the movie: Cons - I think the cinematographer has never seen a movie ever, as many shots were out of focus, and had the worst shot blocking I've ever seen. I understand that not everyone who makes no budget movies, has been to film school, but you can learn basic shot composition from YouTube.

The audio is abysmal. Most of the movie, you can't hear or can barely hear the dialogue. In the scenes where you can hear the dialogue, it sounds like the mic was blown out.

Many of the shots are poorly lit, making it hard to see what's going on.

The movie isn't always linear, so it can be hard to follow.

There are sex scenes where the actress is clearly wearing panties and a bra, and she's not under a blanket.

Pros - it was less than an hour The CGI flies made me laugh With the exception of "Lisa's Mom" most of the acting wasn't awful.

The director wanted to make a movie and finished it... kind of... even if the ending was predictable.

I really try not to poopoo on low/no budget horror, because they thought of a project and saw it through. But man, this was rough. In concept, it's a WNUF Halloween Special clone, in that it's a "1979 TV special that was lost but has been found and restored" but it lacks ALL of the charm that makes WNUF such a treat. It's presented in widescreen, HD with a couple of poorly done AfterEffects filters that are done a couple of times over the course of the film to give it that degraded VHS appearance.

The first story is the most boring werewolf story I've ever seen.

The second story, which is the only decent one, is done in the style of a 50's sitcom, and is about a killer pumpkin man and his squeaky clean looking human family.

The third is about a religious zealot going door to door on Halloween, trying to find someone to "save".

The 2 biggest crimes this anthology commits, in my mind, aside from being HD and widescreen, are that it lacks very many commercials, only having 2 the entire movie... and 2 of the 3 stories are just kind of boring... especially the first one.

Personally, I don't recommend this movie, and give it a 3/10.

The title is Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space, and that's EXACTLY what you get!

OK, I'm going to level with you. If the title appeals to you, check out the trailer. If it still looks appealing to you, it's going to be a hell of a good time. However, this isn't your type of movie, you're going to be MISERABLE!

This is without a doubt, a very low budget (probably $5000 or less) extremely independent horror comedy from the same director that brought you the preposterous and hilarious superhero comedy, Boardwithanailinitman!

Despite the low budget and ridiculousness of the movie, it's got humor that almost always hits, and the 2 main characters work well off of each other.

I HIGHLY recommend this film to lovers of low budget, self-aware, so bad they're good horror or comedies!

An extremely rare 10/10!

I've known for a while that A24 only releases horror films for pretentious people that don't actually like horror, but want to watch horror. I know this, yet I keep watching the garbage they release in the hopes that just once (okay twice, as Tusk is a masterpiece of horror comedy) they'll release a good horror movie. Yet here we are once again, with a "horror film" that's well shot, but just an abysmal excuse for a horror film. I wish nothing but the worst for A24. Actually, that's not true. I wish them nothing but they best, even though they consistently put out the absolute worst drivel in "horror"

I wish I could give this garbage a 0.

But since I can't: 1/10 avoid at all costs.

Is this movie good? Absolutely not! Is it a lot of fun to laugh at how bad it is? Absolutely!!!

Spirit Halloween gore effects, establishing shots that are obviously from Shutterstock, dialogue so bad it makes me wonder if the writer has ever heard people talk... these are just a few of the reasons this train wreck is so bad, yet so amazing. But the icing on the cake, is the acting. The acting is so bad... I mean so, so bad. So wooden, I was completely shocked when I discovered that the actors were not in fact, trees! Who knew? Long story short, watch it with your friends with your favorite adult beverages or herbal refreshments!

This is how you do a proper slow burn horror. Dark, brooding, dreadful... these are some of the words that could be used to sum up this film. It lays on a thick dreadful atmosphere from the opening seconds of the film. There's not much in the way of a back story, but you figure it out as it unfolds. Unlike many modern slow burn arthouse horror (Hereditary, The VVitch, etc) this is a slow burn that's never boring. The score is a tense masterpiece, and the acting is superior to anything in any other horror film of the last 10 years. I don't like throwing the word "masterpiece" around, but that's the perfect way to describe this film. It is indeed, a modern horror masterpiece!

I need to preface this review with the fact that I LOVE bad Shark movies. Most of them are so bad that I quite enjoy laughing at them. House Shark, Ghost Shark, and Sharknado are prefect examples of movies that know how bad they are and roll with it. This movie takes itself WAY too seriously! It's bad... really, really, REALLY bad. I'm normally a champion of microbudget horror and all of the great bad movies it can bring. This one though? Yikes! The plot is discombobulated, the acting is wooden... so, so wooden. One of the characters spends the entire movie looking straight in one direction while quite possibly reading his lines off of cue cards. The police uniforms are just postman jackets with a police emblem ironed onto the shoulder. No weapon, no badge... just the jacket. It's 71 minutes and feels like it's 4 hours. The Shark is the only thing I got even the slightest bit of satisfaction from. It's a cheap rubber puppet, which COULD have been a plus, but in this case it wasn't, because they showed it too much, and you get tired of it. I don't normally care if a movie has nudity or not, but in this case, I think it actually may have helped make it at least a tad watchable. I can honestly see why this movie spent 2 years on the shelf. I kind of wish it had stayed there. The fact that I now have this in my DVD collection actually makes me kind of nauseous. I seriously cannot recommend this movie to ANYONE!!! Run away. Run far, far away. Once you think you're far enough away... keep running!!

Here it is, the cure for your insomnia. Having trouble sleeping? Pop this piece of poop in and you'll be in a coma before you know it!!

Microbudget SOV Master Todd Sheets (Bonehill Road, Dreaming Purple Neon, Zombie Bloodbath) bring you his latest masterpiece, Clownado. Don't let the name fool you, this movie is less of a joke a gorefest from top to bottom! Featuring solid performances from Todd Sheets regulars: the beautiful Dilynn Fawn Harvey (Dreaming Purple Neon) Antwoine Steele (Zombie Bloodbath 3) Douglas Epps (Bonehill Road) Jack McCord (The Muse) and the returning Bobby Westrick (Goblin). Cameos from industry legends Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama) Eileen Dietz (The Exorcist) and Joel D Wynkoop (Death-Scort Service). This film is the most fun I've ever had watching a movie! Admittedly, it's not going to be for everyone, but if you like low budget horror, boobs, evil clowns, dark humor, and copious amounts of gore, this $10,000 movie should be right up your alley! John O'Hara absolutely steals the show as Big Ronnie, the leader of the murderous pack of clowns. It also features a LOT of subtle references to horror movies of all decades. Honorable mention goes to the beautiful Cayt Feinics (Chaos A.D.) performance as Satchel the clown with a purse made of faces and "monstrous assets"

I highly recommend this film, especially when viewed with a group of friends enjoying some adult beverages or herbal refreshments

Let me first start off by saying that if you are looking for a high gloss, well polished, big budget Hollywood werewolf movie: this is not it! This movie has a production budget of approximately $13,500. There are a couple of acting performances that are not the best. But that's what you have to expect for a film of this budget. This is a throwback to the 70's & 80's werewolf movies. There's none of that crapola CGI garbage. This has 100% practical gore effects and guys in werewolf suits. But, I assure you, this is unlike any werewolf movie you've ever seen. Low budget SOV juggernaut, "The Prince of Gore", "The Master of Splatter", Todd Sheets presents his long awaited love letter to werewolf films.... and it is glorious! What do you look for in a horror movie? Tension? Check! Atmosphere? Check! Copious amounts of gore? Check! Boobs? Check (and they are magnificent)! Plus, a cameo from the queen of all scream queens, Ms Linnea Quigley!

In closing, this is a werewolf movie quite unlike any other. And that's not a bad thing.

As a note to Todd Sheets, in case he's reading this: please include the gorgeous Dilynn "Fawn" Harvey in all movie going forward! Lol

I really do, I love the Zombie Bloodbath series, Goblin, The Shivers, Nightmare Asylum, Dominion, I can even stomach the Bimbo trilogy (in small helpings)... but this movie made me want to stab out my eyes so I would never have to see it again. What's worse is that I actually sat through the whole thing. Everything about this anthology, supposedly based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe, was horrible. The acting, the writing, the lighting, the sound, the editing... everything. I know this was made very early in Todd's career, but he even hates the film, and this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't let your friends convince you to release a movie you don't even like yourself.

This is a valiant effort that falls flat. The film is about 30 minutes too long as the pacing is horrible and the dialogue goes on FOREVER! The acting is about what you would expect for a Brain Damage film with a less than $10,000 budget. Not Bill Zebub bad, but nothing good either. The sound, oh my goodness, the sound... well I don't have much to say about the sound, since I couldn't actually hear the majority of the movie. The director obviously doesn't know that if you can only afford to pay one person, pay the sound person the majority of the movie the dialogue sounds distant and echos. When music is playing at the same time as the dialogue, the music is much louder than the dialogue, making it nearly impossible to hear! The lighting leaves a lot to be desired, mostly it's just red light. The gore is actually quite good for the budget.

The movie is really just a 100+ minute commercial for the Frightworld Screampark with splashes of gore, sex scenes, and girls wearing nothing but thongs.

This is certainly not the worst movie I've ever seen, but far from the best

This "movie" and trust me, I use that term lightly, is a real disaster from start to finish. It is what happens when you write a "script" far, far, FAR more ambitious than your budget (I use the term script lightly too). Most of the effects and locations are CGI, really, really BAD CGI! The one man team James Panetti, that wrote, directed, produced, starred in, filmed, etc this tripe, should be banned from ever making a movie again. One of the lowest points on the movie is when there is an obviously fake magazine article claiming that one of the main characters previous films is the "hotest" film of the year. I understand that not everyone spells well, but please spell check something you are going to ZOOM IN on. I only give this film 2 stars because it appears no one was killed when filming the far too frequent sword fights!