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Sucker Punch (2011)
Great special effects movie, but if you're looking for a plot.... you might want to look elsewhere.
22 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
So I just got done watching the theatrical version and I have to say that I'm kind of at a loss for words. The movie isn't horrible, but it's also nowhere near spectacular. Sucker Punch is definitely a "meh" movie. The special effects, fight choreography, and props are spectacularly well done. You can definitely see the influence of "300" on the cinematography as well. The problem... is the plot... and the acting... and practically everything else.

The first 10-15 minutes do a bang up job of introducing the main character, Babydoll, and the story leading up to her being put into a mental institution by her stepfather after her mother's death. After that, the story and actors just go through the motions of a typical brainless popcorn movie with bad dialog. There's some great action scenes, plenty of 'splosions, and a fairly hefty nod to the steampunk, dieselpunk, and (sort of) cyberpunk subcultures. Dead German soldiers reanimated with steam power and gears, zeppelins, a giant stone samurai with a mini-gun, robots, and even dragons and goblins (huh?) are among the "bad guys" featured in the movie. Plus, what's not to like about a blonde in pigtails and a Japanese school girl outfit shooting guns and swinging a wickedly engraved katana around. Yet, despite it all, by the end of the movie there are so many loose ends to the story line and paper bags left abandoned by actors that couldn't act their way out of them, that a herd of kittens could be kept amused for weeks.

Supposedly the extended version that came out on Bluray is supposed to explain things a little differently (possibly better). However, I doubt that adding 15 minutes of footage could save this movie from being any more than the below average mindless popcorn movie that it is. If you're willing to leave your brain at the door, by all means watch it, but if you're looking for a thought-provoking film, you might almost be better served watching the Smurfs movie.
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Kickassia (2010 Video)
2/10
It seemed to have potential... but then it all went wrong
16 November 2010
Words can't correctly explain how bad this movie is. Reading the snippets of quotes from the movie on IMDb, I thought it might be a worthwhile film to see. The dialog seemed quirky and looked to have a fair bit of humor behind it. Plus I'm easily a sucker for checking out films made by the average Joe with a camera, some friends, and too much time on their hands. The Gamers, Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, and more popular films like Clerks are classic examples of when this concept works. Unfortunately for me and the hour and a half of my life that I will never get back, "Kickassia" is a true example of what happens when the concept fails miserably.

Though there are elements of humor to some of the dialog, the delivery quickly shows that none of the "actors" (and I use the term rather loosely) really have any business getting in front of a camera again. Writing...maybe, acting...never. I've seen better performances (and more believable sfx) by kids on YouTube with a camcorder and After Effects. If given to individuals that could actually act their way into the paper bag to begin with, there's enough humorous bits to make a rather amusing 15-20 minute short film.

To make matters worse, I did some checking and it turns out that most of the people attached to this film critique movies for a living (under the forum style names that their characters are named after). It boggles the mind that a group that analyzes movies and points out the idiosyncrasies and errors in them, could watch this waste of celluloid upon completion and think that it's good enough to unleash on the general public.

The only reason I give this two stars instead of one is due to the brief glimpses of humor within this mind-numbingly bad film and the fact that Lindsay Ellis (Nostalia Chick) is kind of cute.

In summary, if your thinking of watching this, pouring bleach in your eyes, watching linoleum peel, or banging your head into a wall repetitively would all be better uses of your time.
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