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Fear Itself (2008)
Full-o-problems
I will say at first the problem lies not with the Professional Directors, although they could definitely be doing something better. From watching these episodes I can tell that the problem lies with the writers, I mean we're talking talking about the writers of The Fly 2, Road House 2, usually not a single good horror film to their name, so what makes them think they can pull off a horror series when the last things they did were crap.
The acting is good though, the music's good, sets, props all good. It's just the awful writing. In fact, the title sequence is usually the only good thing about this series. With the title sequence, the music's awesome and the visionary's awesome, if only they had spent as much effort as they did on the actual series as they did with the titles.
Anthropophagous 2000 (1999)
Complete And Utter CR#P
Now, before I begin, I must emphasise that I am NOT bias against trash films. In fact, I LOVE Schnaas films, Nikos The Impaler is one of my most favourite films of all time.
But this was complete SH*T, Andreas tried to make the tension a little bit slower. Which ultimately failed, and just made the film Painful to sit through. I must admit though, the gore wasn't too bad, but there was so much of an abundance I felt a bit cheated.
Thing that made Anthropophagus (The Original) good, was how scary George Eastman was, but somehow, Schnaas, even in his make-up, isn't scary AT ALL. I think I speak for all Schnaas fans that Schnaas should just stick to playing a Cleaver wielding, masked maniac.
Anyone wanting a good horror film, watch Anthropophagus, a good trash film, watch Nikos. But please, avoid this excuse of a film.
Evilspeak (1981)
This is such an underrated film
In my personal opinion, this film is absolutely excellent. The perfect mix of teen angst and satanic horror. The last fifteen minutes (or so)need to be seen to be believed.
Mainly, it is just about a military school loser who finds an old book whilst on punishment duty, whilst translating the book he finds it works with his computer and becomes an instruction manual for black mass. Which, due to the revenge he wants on his colleagues, performs in the altar room and resting place of Esteban, a Spanish satanic priest who proclaims that he...will...return.
The way it is set out reminds me of a Dario Argento film, how it is slow to begin with, but there is consistency but not plenty of kills. But it all pays off in the final moments, especially in this film, a levitating satanic follower with an awesome sword! I can not say enough good things about this film, how Clint Howard makes a sympathetic victim of bullying, to how Bubba is the perfect bully, to how Esteban and his sword looks totally awesome.
The only thing that Pisses me off, is that it only gets a 5.0, it deserves much better, this is for the people looking for something different and enjoyable, not for those who want to be scared, this is not that type of film.
I F##king Love this film, it is the best horror film, PERIOD!
The Nostril Picker (1993)
Enjoyable, if you know how to enjoy it
This film is a good film, I don't mean blockbuster epic good, but beer and pizza night with a few mates good. It's trash, that's all it is, trash. But enjoyable trash, and at times, rather funny.
Okay so there's no good acting, not even a good plot, but watch it and leave your brain at the door and you will found out what an enjoyable film this is.
Pure 80's horror trash. A few people got together and said 'I want to make a film' so they made the most stupid, most puerile film they could think of.
But they watched it back and laughed, so this is a film you can never take seriously, not 1%. And it deserves that, it is a movie to laugh at, not make sense of.